April AF Flock - Week 4

[sooty]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Morning all and thanks for your lovely wishes and thoughts. I am glad the position of bus driver wasn't filled in my absence.

Mr S is waiting to see a specialist and because of our crap health system this is taking a while which just adds to his misery, hopefully he will find out today how long the wait will be and we may be able to speed things up by paying privately which offends all our socialist principles but what can you do? I'll keep you posted.

Busy day for me - zumba and a volunteer driving trip to the hospital. I am loving these trips, I've met so many dear old people, it's great being able to do something practical to help.

I hope we all have a good day, I'll be back much later. Keep safe everyone :l

[Stargazerlily]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Good morning...

Mr. G., your post was so meaningful and full of what is real about this journey, Pap, please realize that you are an amazing person, and being AF has helped you manage your life with dignity and good decisions. I am so sorry Pap that your job is so difficult, and causes such stress.

Lav, thanks for all the wonderful websites you share, I agree that being open to new ideas and taking care of our minds and bodies is vital on this AF journey.

Sooty, sorry your are going through a rough time, illness is a scary place to be, we are here to support you, so glad you are back.

Dill, so good to have you back, I know that you can get back on the plan. I envy you your summers off...

LBH, see what you started by sharing your experiences, it is all wonderful and helpful. It is the craziness of the witching hour that causes our fall, I think. I always think of the Seinfeld show, where Jerry says something like, Morning Jerry hates Nighttime Jerry. I feel the same. as if there are almost two completely different people depending on the time of day. Pap too mentions struggling in the evenings.

Cyn, that quote was wisdom, we are not to give up with a setback, but to realize that it is vital to keep trying...thanks so much for sharing.

Chill, where are you? How is the studying going? Let us know if you get the chance.

Work today, then the start of my weekend. No big plans, just lots of reading planned. Sounds kind of boring but it is supposed to rain this Saturday, so a cozy day reading, in front of the fire for part of the day will be satisfying.

Sunni, I too love bleeding hearts, I used to have both pink and white, they are spectacular.

To all, have a great day and don't work too hard.

[BlondeAFAmbition]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Hello Blossoming Babes!

Good morning! A beautiful one it is. I admit I was out of sorts yesterday...not sure why. I guess I am feeling un-grounded with these thoughts of moving to Maine and how it will all come together. It is overwhelming to think about it all. New jobs, new location, selling our condo, moving to a new house, financing, moving my 74 year old mother with us...all of that. One day at a time! Slow down! I worked on my vision journal last night (where I record my gratitude thoughts, positive affirmations, pictures of what I want (houses, etc). I listened to a Doreen Virtue book on CD this morning and she talked about how her husband and she wanted so badly a house on the beach in CA and she said to simply envision exactly what you want and leave it to your angels and the universe to make it happen. Don't get caught up in the "how", just focus on the "what" like it has already happenend. That is very comforting to me and so I guess I will just keep the dream alive in my mind and see what happens. Life is an adventure! What is your adventure today?

Guitarista, such wonderful words in response to PapMom's post last night...thank you for sharing your experience and advice on being sober for a long while and then going back to "modding" only to go back to the "hell" that we all know addiction is and the reason we have come here in the first place.

Pap, I didn't interpret what you said as that you were really serious about going back to drinking, especially on the cusp of 2 years sober (now that is going to be a celebration...just you wait ), but I understand the whole concept of "thinking" of going back to dull some pain we are experiencing..or boredom....or hunger, whatever it may be. But as we know, these are only "thoughts" and thoughts can be changed. Like remembering the hangovers, the hell, the anxiety, the anger, the despair, the overall negative impact that AL addiction has on our lives. We don't want to ever go back there again, do we?! NO WAY IN HELL! This is a much better way of life!

Sunny, yes, I have read the Jason Vale book and highly recommend it! It really helped me a few months ago when I was just starting out. It helped to remove the thoughts of "missing" something in giving up AL...and turned those thoughts into gaining freedom from no longer having to drink. I keep the book beside my bed and open a page every so often when I feel I need a AF boost. I am grateful to have a copy and I suggest everyone read it. He really does have a unique outlook on the whole process of living without AL and I'm thankful to have learned it!

Well, since I was sorta blah yesterday, I didn't get too much done so I gotta kick some house goddess butt today:H. Although I did manage to buy some flowers for my front entrance urns and will plant them today. I got beautiful blue/yellow pansies and purple and white assylum (sp?). Also I bought a hanging planter for my front walkway up to the porch where I have a shepherds' hook. It is a cheerful greeting as I come up the walkway...a mix of white, purple and blue pansies. I absolutely adore pansies...so cheerful and hardy, how could one not adore them? Oh, and my bleeding heart is doing well...always such a welcomed site in spring!

Have a lovely day to all and be well!

[papmom3]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Thank you Everyone who has responded to my pretty pathetic post last nite! :l

Mr G-you are so wise and I will take your words with me forever. You are so right. Please don't ever go back to that hell-make a pact with me OK?

Blonde-you are right-I can't seriously think of going backwards. I just get so tired of fighting EVERYTHING in my life some days. Maybe I should pick up one of those angels books. I could sure use one. It does sound as if you and Mr. Blonde have made a definite decision to move to Maine. I wish i could go with you. I love that area but I can't be that far from my dad at this point. :upset:

Lav-I would love to see you up here, lavanitude or not!! :H

LBJ-good luck with orange kitty! hope the vet visit goes well.

Sooty-again, hoping for the best for your hubby. If you have to pay privately I would think you would get wonderful care. I don't envy the health care system in your country at all and it scares me that some in our country want to go that way. :l to you and hubby.

Star, Rustop-thank you all for being so kind and understanding.

Chill, hope you check in soon

Jolie-I love that you are posting regularly again. You too SD!

I am feeling a bit better this morning and now that I am late for work, I will try to keep positive thoughts in front of me in the face of a mad boss when I walk in 30 min. late. whoops!!

[Chillgirl]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Hi Guys
Happy Thursday to you all, boy there is so much wisdom on this thread it has really taken my breath away.

Sooty, Dill, LBH and those struggling to be totally AF, I hear your frustrations and am just so glad you are here. Please stay with us, I received this quote today If you are not where you want to be in life, surround yourself with those who are.

Papmom - Im jumping in the car with Lav if there is any more of this stinking thinking!

I agree to numb all the pain in life would be great but we know it doesnt really work that way. My life has got considerably worse since going AF. I lost the home I loved so dearly, the world I lived in, my close by friends, all my jewelry, my car, every penny I had and all the security I had known all my life. (You would think God must be having a laugh :H) However, if all this had happened to me when I was still drinking, it would have killed me. I would never have found the strength which I didnt even know I had to carry on regardless. And although Im terrified to even think about the future and how I will get by, today I am sober and its the greatest gift I ever had.

Star - I love that Seinfield quote, that "Nightime Chill" was not who I ever want to be again and Papmom, you dont want to be that person either no matter what we have to go through. I love that I can look myself in the mirror and not only see a healthy bright face looking back but im proud of myself and how having a sober mind has given me clarity to become a better person.

Mr G - ditto everything you said.

Blondie - re your dreams of re-locating. Its always going to be scary and maybe now isnt the right time. I would say that when it becomes an overwhelming desire and you know you just have to go then its the right time and everything it involves will seem worth the effort.

I have now been here a week and have pretty much settled in. I have found the important things like the gym and the park to walk Elle and have set myself strict study time. I completed my 1st assignment today and submited it to my tutor for marking. It was only an introduction and the hard work begins with no.2. However, I was excited at completing it and cant wait to get my mark back. The weather has been awful and like Rustop we have had lots of rain. Yuk!

[Lavande]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Good morning Honkers,

Rain here as well ~ must smell like wet geese most everywhere :H

LBH, where I used to live we were able to call the Animal Control # & have them come pick up the big, nasty things in the Have-a-Heart traps (raccoons & ground hogs) & it was free. Around these parts there is no such service so I won't set any traps, no point. I just pray the rascals stay the hell out of my chicken house! Good luck to your cat today!!!

Rustop, I can't believe you daughter is finishing up her first year of college. How cool is that??

Sooty, will be thinking of you & Mr S today.
I'm so sorry you have to wait so long to be seen by a specialist - I can't even imagine.
We will never replace you as our driver

Star, my weather comes right from your direction so if you are stuck inside reading this weekend I probably will be too! That's OK!

Blondie, ODAT where it comes to moving to Maine, right?
Don't go into overwhelmed mode........just enjoy the process

Papmom, glad you are feeling better this morning. Keep getting better friend!!!

Chill, good luck with the studying! I do not envy you right now.....
But I know you will do just fine

OK, must run puppy outside again!

[sunshine_gg]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Respectfully submitting notice of absence, Goosers!

Off on me way to see the gizzard! Wish me luck. If all goes well I shall return in one piece on Sunday! Have a glorious weekend, everyone! :l

[ladybirdheart]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Chill, thank you for letting me surround myself with you. I know it has come up before how many of us feel isolated at heart. Growing up alone with my fragile mom who herself had been orphaned as a child, widowed not long after my birth, and never able to work because of depression and alcoholism, I dreamed of having kindred spirits, people peacefully aligned with me. I relinquished that slowly and found ways to coexist, particularly within the kinds of naturally limited relationships one has in graduate school and employment. I find it amusing, albeit in an existentially creepy funny way, that when I am alcohol free for any length of time I am struck by how many of the people I have worked hard at keeping in my life really don?t have my best interests in mind or even know me very well. It doesn?t take much to respectfully move away from them and I am not sure they actually notice. Cyn, that quote is such a keeper! So is the Seinfeld memory, Star. I always know that the person who makes a resolution about one thing or another is NOT the same person who has to pull it off. THAT person has never heard of such a stupid idea and is miffed at not being consulted:H. Off for now to the beleaguered tax man (quirky Lord Bird Heart makes things complicated with his day trading ?hobby? and huge stacks of stuff) and then to check on my poor kitty (thanks Pappy and Lav) who lost five (5) of his prized teeth:upset:. Hi Rustop, Rusty, Jolie, Dill, Blondie, G., Sooty (Sooty?), Fly, Sunny (good trip) et. al. Love, Ladybird.

[cyntree]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Evening all -

G-Man, home run, thanks forever for that post.

Pappy - perhaps your perspective is especially dim right now because you're sick? Last night I recalled our book 'Stroke of Insight', and made an attempt to, as she says, "take a step to the right"...into the right hemisphere, where thoughts are not reality, and we are one with everything. (That's what I took from it anyway) Ahh, deep breath.

Chill - so great to hear how you are doing, wonderful that you are doing your course.

Love to everybody, thanks for your thoughts -

[Lavande]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Sunni, hope you are having a wonderful horsey experience

LBH, a cat with 5 teeth extracted? Wow!!!!
Sounds like you may have to alter his/her diet a bit. Good luck

I just spent 4 1/2 hrs watching a 3 yr old, a 1 year old & a 10 week old puppy - Dear God, I am exhausted. Everyone was fed, the boys are back home now & the pup is asleep on the sofa next to me :H

cyn, I stop & take 3 deep breaths when feeling overwhelmed or out of sorts in any way these days & it always helps. Focusing on your breath gets you out of your head....if you know what i mean. It sure is better than popping open another bottle of wine I also do that breathing just before I go to sleep at night - clears my mind for more restful sleep

Have a good night all!

[papmom3]

April AF Flock - Week 4

I am so grateful that ALL of you are here on this thread!!
I had a much much better day at work. My boss pretty much left me alone until the end of the day (grrrr) but even then I was able to let some of the things he did go. Just let them go. Breathe In, Breathe Out. Ahhhh. Had a nice nite at the NH-pet therapy nite and I could really see the difference in one of the residence. I was actually able to ask her some questions about her life after the session was over and she answered!! This is a woman who basically spends her days inside herself and doesn't talk!! Chill, you'll appreciate this-we were watching the 3 Irish Tenors after the dog left and I was telling her that it was filmed on Ellis Island in the building where all the processing was done on the Immigrants back in the early 1900s. I asked everyone in the room if anyone had parents who were born in another country. She was the only one who said yes. I asked where they came from, what country. That seemed too hard for her to answer so I started naming countries. I got to Portugal and she yelled PORTUGUAL!! I told her all about you and how you love that country. She has never been. So sad.

Anyway, good day. I carried all your thoughts and wishes with me all day.

Chill-you will do great with your studies! Its wonderful being an older student-our minds are open and we are studying what we truly want to study!! As you listed the important places you've found so far, you left out the Buddhist Center! Don't forget that!

Lav-I sure hope you get a few days to yourself after your marathon today!! Thank you for the PM-it meant a lot to me!!

Cyn- I do believe you spoke a bit of truth when you asked if possibly my recent virus might have had something to do with my stinkin' thinkin' and state of mind. I HATE being sick. I feel so out of control and hate that I have to curb my activities as all my time is so carefully budgeted these days. So, feeling poorly and out of control as well as crappy things going on at work = HUGE TRIGGER!! I will know better next time!!

LBH-sure hope Kitty is doing ok tonite after his traumatic vet visit!! He won't even miss those teeth-believe me! I have a cat with 90% of her teeth gone and she still manages to give me some good nips :H!

Sunni-know you are gone but hoping you can still read the posts. Have a great trip and learn lots!!

time to climb into bed and try to get another good nite's sleep. See you in the morning honkers!!

[rustop59]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Good morning everyone

Just a flying hello from me. Dropped one daughter at bus, have to pick other one up, she was at afters of wedding last night and stayed in boyfriends house. It meant I did not have to do a 3 am pick up but I do worry about the boyfriend taking a drink and driving. At least thats one example I did not give her, she knows that I never drink and drive. Even when I was drinking a bottle of wine a day, I stayed away from it untill I had finished driving. Thank God, I dont have to worry about that any more, its such a freedom. Oh the joys of parenthood.

Anyway just wanted to wish you all a great week-end. Glad you are feeling better Papmom and sending healing vibes to your cat LBH. Where did Sunni go? Must have missed that. Hard to believe Chill is a week in her new home, glad you are settling in ok.

Big hello to everyone else.

Rustop

[BlondeAFAmbition]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Hi Guys!

Back to work for me today although I know this is the end of the week for most folks. Hope it's a great day for everyone!

Had a wonderful afternoon yesterday with my hubby. We went for a nice (but windy!) walk along a beach up in Rockport and then spurged for lobsters and steamers for dinner. Our local grocer cooks the lobsters for us so we don't have to deal with that at home. I'm fine with boiling up some clams but the whole putting of the lobster in a pot puts me off. I must say they were the most delicious lobsters this time of year...sorta hard shell with lots of meat. The rubber band said they were from Canada...funny as we are in a fishing village plus right near Maine! Anyway, it was a great day for us to reconnect as we have been spending less time together due to our separate schedules and find that we really need to carve out time together...it's so important. The only other day of the week that we get a chance for this is Saturday...he has off and I get out relatively early from work. Otherwise, we both work opposite schedules, plus with his part time evening teaching class, we don't get 2 nights together as it is. Part of the desire to move to Maine is so that both of us has work that is more in line with together time and since the cost of living may be lower, we won't have to both work full time plus him a second job just to get by. Plus, Maine seems to tick at a slower pace and overall, we like that. I think we're just getting burned out by Massachusetts...the crowds and the taxes!

Well, gotta start getting ready for work. My cruise to Bermuda is coming closer and closer on the radar! (June 8th....). Looking forward to that for sure!

Have a great weekend all!

[Lavande]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Good morning Honkers,

Happy Friday to one & all!

Rustop, Sunni is off on a horsey adventure for the weekend, hope she's havingfun
I was a home drinker myself.......no driving for me either. I am also glad that is long over with.

Blondie, hope you have a good day at work!
Nice to hear that other people get to spend & enjoy time with their spouses. I was just thinking yesterday (don't know why) that we spent very few wedding anniversaries together due to conflicting shift work schedules or his insistence on accompanying our son to boy scout camp the last week of June......always an excuse.

Oh well, time to get myself out & about. First stop is Curves.
Have agreat AF day one & all!

Lav

[ladybirdheart]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Sounds like a fine time with your husband, Blondie, it seems wise that you are looking at ways to slow down and make your time together more companionable. The simple things are what really accumulate for me into a rich peace. Pappy, I wish I could have had a bird?s eye view of dear you in the nursing home, doing what you can to brighten things; we never know what is going on inside people who seem to have the great misfortune of residing in bodies that don?t work right anymore, Cyn?s reference to ?My Stroke of Insight? certainly comes to mind. I also think of you at your stressful job and so admire you for getting your alcohol problem under control while still at it, I don?t think I could have done so. Thank you for asking about my kitty, he is stoned on opiates and acting very grateful to be home. I too had a cat that had to have every single tooth (even the tiny ones in front) removed because of severe and intractable feline stomatitis, and he happily loved to gum dry food and was healthy afterward for many, many years. My Sam just lost the four small premolars, common in middle aged cats, and one of his beloved canines as he adores being able to dramatically leap and fetch like a dog and cracked it in a mighty bat of paw and subsequent misjudgment that had him crashing into the dresser. I am not going to exercise class today as I want to watch over the sweet boy and start cleaning up from the seventy-five mile an hour horror ripping winds we had yesterday. Again, the outcome of one?s garden is always dicey. I think of you Rustop, raising your daughters, trying to keep them safe while letting them go free, in my next life I want to be in your house:l. Love, Ladybird.