April AF Flock - Week 4

[Chillgirl]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Hi Guys

LBH - 75 mile winds sure wreaks havoc, weather has become so diverse and unpredictable it really is a lottery. We have incessant rain and low temperatures and Im struggling to stay warm in this old drafty house.

Lav - you havent mentioned YB in a while, is he still coming by as often and inviting himself for dinner?

Rustop - You are such a dedicated Mum and are showing your daughters such a beautiful example of unconditional love.

Blondie - Maine is definitly calling, would it be easy for you both to find work there? Sounds like a great plan for getting your priorities in life right rather than chasing material wealth which takes its toll on health and relationships.

Papmom - Im so glad you found your mojo and thanks for the reminder re the Buddhist centre. They have so many great events coming up and would you believe in June, Dr David Hamilton is speaking there! He's the guy from HayHouse that I did the weekend retreat with in Scotland, he will think I am stalking him

Enjoy the rest of your Friday everyone and Rusty please check in and let us know how you are doing and whether you had your conference call yet.

[dill]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Honk! Honk!

Better start thinking of May names!

I am currently buried under a mountain of paperwork, but with any luck will get everything done. My best to you all.

[sooty]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Evening all, wet and windy here and forecast is warning of floods! I will be sticking close to our thread this weekend and trying to finish my knitting.

Back later gang

[Chillgirl]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Hi Sooty

I dont think Im far away from you now, im in Birmingham, its rained all day and forecast to continue for next 5 days

On a sunnier note...... I got my results back for my 1st assignment and I got an A!!! :yougo:
I know it was the easiest one as its just the intro but its really boosted my confidence.

[Lavande]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Windy here today as well - what's up with that? At least the sun is out at the moment

chill, YB still wanders in & out a few times a week. Kind of like a robot (a really boring robot) :H
I still hope he recovers his personality but I'm not holding my breath.
Hope you have a good weekend.

Dill, Sooty, good to see both of you today.
I hope you can climb over the mountain of paperwork Dill without any paper cuts
Sooty, fingers crossed there is no flooding near you - yikes!!!

Feel a little guilty for not getting a whole lot done today but in reality ~ it really doesn't matter. Wasn't planning on saving the planet today anyway :H

[sooty]

April AF Flock - Week 4

YB still wanders in & out a few times a week. Kind of like a robot (a really boring robot) :H
I still hope he recovers his personality but I'm not holding my breath.

:H :H

Unfortunately I know what you're talking about :H

[Lavande]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Sooty - I sometimes wonder if YB is not dealing with some sort of dementia
He's just been damn weird for a number of years & cannot give me any explanation for the change in his behavior......

[sooty]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Hi Chill, many congratulations on that A - excellent start!

I think you're about 150 miles away from me. If I come to the Midlands I'll give you a shout! Best curry restaurants in the country in Birmingham!

How you settling in?

[sooty]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Hope you're not right Lav, but it would explain his behaviour I guess.

[Rusty]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Good Evening Flock,

Sooty-I hope your husband recovers quickly. It's great to hear from you.

Chill-congrats on your A!:goodjob: I have been to Birmingham. I loved it....I was there in 2007. People in the UK are so nice.

Dill-I am glad you are back as I have missed you.

LBH-I just loved your post about how when we are AF we can see that some people are just no good to be around....maybe because when we are drinking we are needy in a way and just settle for certain relationships? I know I did. Never again.

Lav-I don't know how you do all that you do....kids, Matilda, chickens, etc.

It's been 3 weeks of pure hell for me emotionally, and this past Wednesday and last night, exhausted, despondent, and emotionally drained, I drank....not enough to get a hangover, but still. I didn't drink to get numb, because I was already numb. Wednesday night, one of my male co-workers, with whom I had a brief relationship a few years ago, was in town for work for just one night. He, too, did not pass the exam. We had dinner together and the extent of my vulnerability was obvious. It felt so good to be held. It felt so good to be kissed. That was the extent of the intimacy...which was fine. I was very sad when I drove home after dinner. Then, yesterday after work....I just threw up my hands and said, "Dear God when will this nightmare ever be over?" At about 3:30 yesterday afternoon, I learned my appeal had been denied....which was followed by an e-mail from the office which read, "Rusty, your appeal has been denied. " Please complete all your paperwork for your existing clients as they will be reassigned on Monday." The isolation, the failure, the shame....caught up with me. My apologies if I am a trigger for anyone here. I have tried to look at the positives of this change, and while I want to be optimistic, the self-doubt, the anxiety, consumes me. I am back on the AF Flock today. I am not looking for pity from all my friends here. I just have no else to talk to....and I'm so glad you are all here.:h

[Lavande]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Rusty, you know we are all with you, at least in spirit :l
You have taken a very hard direct hit, no one is going to assign blame or judge you. Please take good care of yourself this weekend. I'll be in touch when I have just a moment to myself. The rug rats are here & I'm about to pull my hair out right now.
Love you,
Lav

[sunshine_gg]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Hello Flocklings!
Real quick check-in... all is well here, super, actually! My horse was being quite the spazz this morning, which landed him a spot for the 5 hour afternoon sessions with all of the trainers! :H Good for him and it was so helpful for me to watch others with him.

Anywho... almost time for a shower and I brought a work project, too. Hope you are all well, will check in and read back when I get back home!

:l

[sdlovespackers]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Hi All!

Some late night reading tonight...really late night reading...but I wanted to catch up as I haven't been able to read the past couple days....

Rusty-everyone here knows your dedication to leading a healthy (AF) life...no one would ever pass judgement on you for drinking...I think, as you've read, it's been on several people's minds--mine included...things are beyond tough right now and I pray that they will turn around very soon for you...you are so deserving of wonderful things!! :l

I really want to address others but I'm so exhausted right now....I promise...I'm back here tomorrow (afternoon) when I get up!!:H:H
SD

[Chillgirl]

April AF Flock - Week 4

SD - no wonder you are exhausted, it's morning here! Get your ass in bed!

Rusty - :l I wish I could give you some great advice, what I can give you is my love and support. You are not setting any triggers here and please keep coming and venting. It's so hard when we have to put a brave face on in the outside world and that's when here offers a safe haven where we can let it out. I don't know enough about what you do but is there a different role you could fill in the same line without the exam? You must know lots of people in the business, now is the time to call everyone you can.

[sooty]

April AF Flock - Week 4

Only a quick pop in to say to Rusty that you are in my thoughts and i'm so sorry you feel so low.

I'll pm you later but I'm out the door very soon and don't want to rush a message to you.

Take heart my friend things will turn round for you.

To everyone else good morning and see you later :l