May Flowers - Week 2

[SAUSAGE]

May Flowers - Week 2

Quick check in

Lovely mothers day flowers Lav.

Yes Beck I can relate to what you mean about the site helping you remember how hard it was to quit. I post on Newbies Nest in Just Startimg out, quite a bit even though I'm on day 80 now and joined MWO in 2008. Several of the newbies have commented that it's nice that I hang out there to support them even though I've got through the early days/ weeks , however I gain a lot from seeing new people in that desperate struggle to quit. I want to help them and they help me as they remind me that we can never get complacent as starting again is SO hard.

Just re-read something you'd written in 2009

We all could have another relapse in us but we don't know that we have another recovery.

[sunshine_gg]

May Flowers - Week 2

Happy Mother's Day, lovely Mayflower ladies :l

Had a fantastic weekend but am too tired to elaborate :H
I felt really really shaky in terms of AL this past week or so but made it through and I couldn't be happier.

Hope you all enjoyed your weekend; Lav, what lovely flowers! Speaking of which... I'm hoping that annuals will arrive this week... whooohoo, I see some planting in my future! :H

[papmom3]

May Flowers - Week 2

Hello and Goodnite my beautiful flowers!!

Sunni-forgot to post on the daily thread about your weekend. Sounds like you have made real strides with your horsewomanship and Trouble has too. Good on ya for standing up for your horse! I'm so glad you have these oppportunities. They just feed the soul don't they?

hey Rusty-yes I am happy these days. How can I not be with all of you for my friends? Love ya girl!!

Before i tell you all what a fabulous day I had, let me relate a story I'm pretty sure TDN saw on the news.
Recently, a lady was walking her pit bull Lilly, along the railroad tracks. She fell and passed out while a train was rounding the corner or coming down the tracks and her dog valiantly pulled her off. The engineer saw the whole thing but could not stop the train in time. Lilly was hit. badly. She lost a leg, fractured another and her pelvis and had multiple internal injuries. But, she has rallied and yesterday went home with the woman's son and his family. he, btw is a Boston (I think) police officer. From the get go this man told the media he got Lilly for his mom to help her stop drinking. The media in turn as very nonchantly I think, mentioned time and again that the woman suffers from alcoholism. I don't think they once said she was an alcoholic. It was never mentioned whether she was drunk when she passed out on the tracks-I've had the impression she is recovering but I could be wrong. Anyway, my point is, the woman's family and the media have been very open is mentioning her disease. Almost the way they might have said she was diabetic or epileptic. Is it possible that we as a society have turned a teeny tiny corner and the stigma of alcholism is slowly decreasing? Food for thought.

Now for the news of the day. I had a fabulous last day at the NH!! We had a chat session in the morning, remembering our moms. In the afternoon we had a tea party with a soft jazz band playing in honor of Mother's Day. It was a sell out crowd with lots of family members. Even my dad came!! It was very bittersweet to say goodby to those residents who would actually understand I was leaving but I've promised to return in June with one of my dogs. You know, I think I'm going to miss all those Lawrence Welk DVDs I showed!! :H

On the way home I listened to This American Life on NPR. They were interveiwing a mind body medicine doctor who talked about how detrimental worry and anxiety was to the body physically. He has a book out (can't remember the title or his name) and he talks about how he helps his patients who suffer from chronic worry. And, this is big, he talked about how EVERYONE could utilize the Serenity prayer in their daily lives. No need to believe in god or a higher power. Just say the words. Did you all know it originated in the 14th century and then became very popular with our WWI soldiers. Anyway, at this moment in my life, I feel like I can take things as they come. I know I wasn't that way 6 months ago and I remember clearly how sick I felt on a daily basis, all due to worry. The bottom line is, we can worry all we want and it won't do a damn bit of good. In fact it does a lot of harm. Lets all make a pledge to say the serenity prayer at least once a day (I do so before bed) and to take 10 min everyday just to focus on a day dream or vision that makes us feel good or has happy memories for us. No one can interupt this 10 min. No one. Let's see if it doesn't have some sort of impact on our lives in a very short time.

On to a new chapter for me. Interview is on Wednesday and I can control some parts of that scenario. After it's over, it's out of my hands and I can relax and know that I gave it my best and if it's meant to be, I'll get the offer.

Sleep tight my loves and hope you all had a wonderful day!!

[Janice]

May Flowers - Week 2

just popping in quickly! will read your posts later....Sausage, I too spent some time rereading old posts/old messages last night...found a message I sent to a member, I was really struggling, & was 100 days AF!! Must have started 'moderating' soon after.... what an idiot! Have had a swim, now off to pilates (!!), will be back later to read your posts....have a great day all!! xx

[Lavande]

May Flowers - Week 2

Good morning May friends!

I'm breaking my routine today & staying put until my 1:30 Doc appointment........
I have yet another raging case of poison ivy & seriously need some steroids

Other than that, life is good :H
Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Monday!

Lav

[Beck]

May Flowers - Week 2

Let's try this again...lost a post earlier. Forgotten how annoying that is...

Sunni, For me, I started to struggle somewhere around 7 months. I think it had something to do with making in past 6 mos...and 12 months really looked far away. May not make much sense to anyone else. Good for staying AF and admitting to struggling. I always felt like a failure for struggling even if I didn't drink. Now I get that is just part of the deal - my addict- will always try to talk me back into a drink and usually it is when things are going well.

Sausage, my words? I haven't gone back and reread anything but maybe I should. I don't think I've got another recovery in me that doesn't involve rehab and frankly I don't want to have to tell the kids that I've spent their college money on rehab! So staying quit is my only option.

Pap, good advice. Lav, HATE poison ivy - used to get it often.

Best,

[sunshine_gg]

May Flowers - Week 2

Beck;1316120 wrote: I always felt like a failure for struggling even if I didn't drink

Ohhh.. I'm SO with you on that! I alternate between disgust for struggling and anger at having to deal with AF/AL at all. But, I made it through another rough spot... and I'm glad for that. And, for me it's also when things are going WELL that the thoughts of 'moderation' come back.

Pmom... yes, it does feed ones soul! And it is such a humbling and warming experience to see my horses so willing to forgive all the mistakes I have made/am making.

Wow, on the pitbull story. What a brave dog. It's rather interesting that her son chose to mention the alcoholism to the press. That, somehow makes me think this incident did have something to do with drinking.

Good luck with your interview on Wednesday! You're so very right... all the worry in the world won't change the outcome of something out of your control. It's a no-brainer intellectually, but to process that emotionally is a whole different story.

Lav, we gotta keep you out of the ditches! :H So sorry you got into that nasty stuff again... is it in your yard? And how can you get rid of it?

Hello to everyone else.. I better get back to being productive Have a great day!

[SAUSAGE]

May Flowers - Week 2

Hi everyone

Pap interesting comments about worrying and very true.

I remember reading a really good quote about worrying.

Worrying is like being on a rocking chair - you go back and forth and back and forth but you don't get anywhere!

I like applying the serenity prayer to my life in many different situations. It is really only since say 60 AF that I have seen things with real clarity, I am now much better and sorting out in my mind the things I can do something about and the things I can't.

[ladybirdheart]

May Flowers - Week 2

Poison ivy, Lav, Yikes! I?ve only had that once (thrown from a spooked horse into a patch as a kid?where was Sunni our Whisperer) and it was very annoying. Hope the medication is good?I think my mother made me lie naked in a big vat of oatmeal or something equally bizarre. Thank you Pappy for your thoughtful words on worry, it is ground zero for my psyche and I am working on it. The serenity prayer is so powerful when I remember to bring it to mind. Thought patterns, even awful maladaptive ones, don?t let go easily. Thank you Beck and Sausage and Sunni for helping me not freak out when I don?t think my abstinence is going as it ?should?, I think when I don?t feel what I think other people do after two or three months I lose perspective. Hi Star, I also have trouble sitting night after night with Lord Bird Heart these days as he is immersed in the NBA playoffs. I agree that those times can be hard and I used to spend them alone with my drink. I like to be outside in the garden or on a walk, reading a magazine or a book that I save just for the evenings, or watching a DVD on a small TV I set up just for those times when for whatever reason I need to be on my own. Sometimes when I really don?t know what to do I just go to bed really early and hope for a dream. At least if I am not drinking I can hope for all sorts of sweet things that have some chance of fruition. Remind me of this around seven tonight:H. Love to everybody, Rusty, Rustop, Jolie, SD, et. al. Let us know of your adventures Cyn and Chill. You go Janice! Please check in Bouv, Dill, and Sooty, we need to stay together. Love, Ladybird.

[Lavande]

May Flowers - Week 2

STEROIDS
I'll be in good shape in just a few days :H

LBH, when you have a moment - go over the the AF Daily thread & look at the DailyOM message I posted there. We need to give ourselves time to get used to living without our addictions.

Hi Beck, Sunni & Sausage!
Papmom, you know we will all be with you & munching popcorn at the interview Wednesday

I'll leave you with a pic ~ 'Waiting for the food to drop!'

[FlyAway]

May Flowers - Week 2

Aww Matilda is so sweet! :h

[sdlovespackers]

May Flowers - Week 2

Hi ALL!!

Omigosh Lav, that picture is ADORABLE!!!!! What an absolute awesome angle you got that taken at!!! C-U-T-E!!!! I WISH i thought my dog was that cute...I did figure out that when it storms if I put a blanket over her kennel (except the front door) and then put her beside my bed but facing the night stand so she can't see the window, she doesn't freak out when it storms. I'm slowly learning, I guess. Might as well have a baby as much as I'm up with this dog!! Oh--sorry about the poison ivy--ouch!!

Pap3--I'm with Lav--I'll be munchin' the popcorn in the back cheering you on semi-quietly in the interview....I'd give you some awesome pointers from my last interview but as you remember...I froze up like a deer in the head lights....OH, I know....don't do that!!!!:H Good luck!!

Rusty--You're sounding chipper as ever....I must have missed something about a mis-worded post??? I didn't understand....of course, that doesn't take much these days, my brain is so fried by the time I leave school! I'm ready for this week to be OVER!!! This is our last week with kids...our official last day of school is Monday!!:woot: Glad you had a good Mother's Day with your ma!!

Sunni--I was hoping you'd share about your fantastic weekend...or did I miss that too. I'm with you on sometimes having shaky thoughts on drinking/moderation....mine come into play when I think about my reunion coming up??? UGH!! The thought of technically going to "day 1" again....or even the thought of taking that first drink....I can't even see myself doing it?!!? But then I'm afraid being in the situation I'm afraid I can't see myself saying no....or maybe it's because I never have before...I need to create a new image....or something like that??

Hi Sausage, Beck, Janice!! How are you all doing tonight?? Glad to have you all hear!!!

LBH--I think there were times early on (and maybe I shared this already) when I thought I "should be" feeling different or "better" by now...and it honestly wasn't until I turned that 6 or almost 7 month mark when I really started to notice a emotional change for me....as far as feeling better....I cried so much at the beginning....because it was hard to deal with all those feelings that I was so used to drinking away...I didn't know how to feel them...I still think I'm learning...mostly how to deal with feeling overwhelmed or frustrated still...those are still hard...I am quick to get down on myself or angry (only at home though...my "school world" is always kept in check)...funny isn't it??!! Baby steps...I'm getting there!!

Hey Star--nights are hard for me too...I try to always have a project...planning my class reunion is a huge one right now!! LOL!!!! I also want to take a Spanish class....just for fun!!

Blondie??? Where are you??? Getting ready for your trip...you leave the first part of June right??? Anymore plans in the works with the moving???

Dill--are ya still hangin' in there??? These last weeks of school make June and July SOOOO worth it, don't they!?!? LOL!!! Are you and hubs doing any boating this summer...silly question I'm sure!!! Hope all is well for you!!:l

Sorry, I'm not getting to everyone tonight....I'm beat....my son had a baseball game tonight...which they won!!! Yea!!! They were the underdog...by A LOT and they somehow pulled out a win!!! 7-8!!! They have the semi-finals tomorrow...championship on Friday! Hope all the Mothers had a Happy Mother's Day yesterday!! And hope you all have a terrific Tuesday!!!
SD

[sdlovespackers]

May Flowers - Week 2

Sorry...my comment to Sausage, Beck and Janice caught my eye and is going to drive me nuts....Glad to have you HERE!!!!! (kind of a pet peeve of mine--can't stand it when teachers send emails and don't use the correct homophone---I'm a geek, I know!!) LOL!!!
Good Night!!!

[Janice]

May Flowers - Week 2

lol SD I am 'hearing' you well!! Lav..gorgeous photo, so cute!!! For all you dog lovers you must check out our Britains Got Talent (Simon Cowell's show) winner on Utube...look for Ashleigh & Pudsey. 17 yr old girl who has trained her dog to do the most amazing routines...3 routines she did for the series & won the final on Saturday night!!! A week ago today I had my last drink!!! Day 7 and swimming at 6.30 this morning....not possible one week ago!!! The fog is definitely lifting. Have a great day everyone. xx

[Janice]

May Flowers - Week 2

oh....hope Bouv checks in today??