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**shueaddict** · May 27, 2012, 05:08 AM

AF Daily - Sunday May 27th

Kaslo ? OMG such fantastic photos, you always blow me away. I remember bits of the post you deleted, did not think there was anything wrong with it !

Lavande;1323283 wrote: . Last evening I baked three kinds of biscotti (vanilla, cranberry & almond) just because I was bored
Lav

Lav ? I am making truffle risotto just for me for lunch now and beef Wellington for the boys ? a bit bored too ? the rain has not stopped in 3 weeks, I am sending some to Sunni.

And the Sausages are roasting in the sun in Scotland !!!! Oh my!

Almost sold!!! Are they going to keep torturing you like this?

Dizzy, I did that sooooo many times, never made my cold any better. Hope you feel a little livelier, ginger helps a lot and big hug from me.

As for cheering you up, here are a few clips from the Eurovision contest + the live facebook commentary I got on last night (the best jabs that I remember). Sugar, I bet you have a thing or two to say about the Irish lads.

The Russian disco babushkas came in at #2 .
?This is what ?Girls Aloud ? the Reunion? will look like?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKNRGc71hjc[/video]]Buranovskiye Babushki - Party For Everybody (Russia) 2012 Eurovision Song Contest - YouTube

Romania
?Moon walking bagpiper-check, hot singer - check, atrocious music - check ? Eurovision classic?
?Don?t ask why but this will become the new #1 line dancing number at a lot of weddings?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccXEQfdGo7A[/video]]EUROVISION 2012 | Romania: Mandinga - Zaleilah / Semi-Final 1 - YouTube

Ireland ? Sugar ? insert comments here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_9QaVC-NKw[/video]]Jedward - Waterline - Live - 2012 Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final 1 - YouTube

Greece
?I?d love to see Greece win only to find out if Germany will end up paying for the hosting?
?Somewhere up the Parthenon the Greek ministry of culture is praying she does not win ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFOzbmCqkJA&feature=related[/video]]Eleftheria Eleftheriou - Aphrodisiac - Live - 2012 Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final 1 - YouTube

Italy ? ?They tried to make me go to Eurovision , I said Noo, Noooo No?

Sweden ? the winner, I thought she deserved it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SCb0nrjVno[/video]]Eurovision 2012 Sweden: Loreen - Euphoria (Melodifestivalen 2012 - Semi-Final) - YouTube

**sugarbeat** · May 27, 2012, 05:10 AM

AF Daily - Sunday May 27th

Ah Shue, I'm so sorry for you(and not in a patronising way), this freckin thing is a bitch at times. I hate seeing people gettin dragged down by it, and having their beans stole again. It's the most baffling thing (apart from falling in love

) that I have ever come across, but this one is a bad baffling. It was a slip not a crazy binge but its crazy how much effort you put into the sober life and to be so quickly blindsided again and a get to the point again of picking up a glass.

I suppose its the whole 'what you resist persists' thing kickin in. I might be wrong but you kinda felt it coming but the old defences were low. To be honest I've know answers shue, I'm still figuring it out myself but I'm sending you good big genuine positive vibes. As they always say around here get back on the horse again, and keep searchin seeking praying for your truth on this journey, taking what you need from each experience, the lessons you still needed to learn(but you abviously know this) and moving on, no wallowing now

**sugarbeat** · May 27, 2012, 05:22 AM

AF Daily - Sunday May 27th

Oh my god shue how stupid was that show, a continental embarrassment to put it lightly

And the freckin Russin Grannys, its hard to discribe how bad it was, as I say every year I am never watchin it again, and poor Jedward God love them, it was liked they were pulled out of space and the politics, don't get me started

For anyone who has heard of Father Ted, remember this skit when Ireland was trying not to win!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzYzVMcgWhg[/video]]Father Ted | My Lovely Horse | Channel 4 - YouTube

shueaddict;1323737 wrote:
As for cheering you up, here are a few clips from the Eurovision contest + the live facebook commentary I got on last night (the best jabs that I remember). Sugar, I bet you have a thing or two to say about the Irish lads.

The Russian disco babushkas came in at #2 .
“This is what ‘Girls Aloud – the Reunion’ will look like”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKNRGc71hjc[/video]]Buranovskiye Babushki - Party For Everybody (Russia) 2012 Eurovision Song Contest - YouTube

Romania
“Moon walking bagpiper-check, hot singer - check, atrocious music - check … Eurovision classic”
“Don’t ask why but this will become the new #1 line dancing number at a lot of weddings”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccXEQfdGo7A[/video]]EUROVISION 2012 | Romania: Mandinga - Zaleilah / Semi-Final 1 - YouTube

Ireland … Sugar … insert comments here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_9QaVC-NKw[/video]]Jedward - Waterline - Live - 2012 Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final 1 - YouTube

Greece
“I’d love to see Greece win only to find out if Germany will end up paying for the hosting”
“Somewhere up the Parthenon the Greek ministry of culture is praying she does not win “
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFOzbmCqkJA&feature=related[/video]]Eleftheria Eleftheriou - Aphrodisiac - Live - 2012 Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final 1 - YouTube

Italy – “They tried to make me go to Eurovision , I said Noo, Noooo No”

Sweden – the winner, I thought she deserved it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SCb0nrjVno[/video]]Eurovision 2012 Sweden: Loreen - Euphoria (Melodifestivalen 2012 - Semi-Final) - YouTube

**shueaddict** · May 27, 2012, 05:23 AM

AF Daily - Sunday May 27th

aww, shucks, thank you , Sugar. I really don't want to go back to the dark side.

OMG!! FATHER TED !! such a hilarious show ... I have all the series on DVD ... "aye, you will, you will , you will"

thx, Sug, this really cheered me up!!!!

**sugarbeat** · May 27, 2012, 05:57 AM

AF Daily - Sunday May 27th

Oh god Shue I looked at this clips again, and ya they did make me laugh, I'll give it that much, and as one of the comments said it does look like Ireland had the Power Rangers representing them!

**Lavande** · May 27, 2012, 06:31 AM

AF Daily - Sunday May 27th

Good morning Abbers!

Shue, I'm glad you stopped yourself after two & came right back

Handling stress without AL is a skill that we have to learn on this journey. I just kept tellling myself (and still do) that there are tons of people in the world who successfully handle stress without the 'help' of AL & I want to be one of them. I'm just not sure that I have another quit left in me & that thought helps me to say NO when the drinking thoughts creep in.

Greetings sugar, hope you are having a great day!

Can't stop now to watch all the videos you guys posted, will try to do that later.
I am hoping to squeeze in a BBQ today even though thunder storms are predicted along with very hot & humid weather.

Have a great day!
Lav

**ThreeDogNight** · May 27, 2012, 06:33 AM

AF Daily - Sunday May 27th

Good morning, Abbers!

Well, I, too have to fess up. I had a slip on Friday. What led up to it isn't important, but involved being very angry at Mr TDN and knowing there was a bottle of whiskey in a boot in the attic which he had told me about a couple of months ago. I had seen it when looking for something right after that, but it didn't "call out" to me. So I poured some over ice, it tasted very strong, but. . . I wanted that relief that Dizzy spoke about. I didn't drink the quantity I would have in the past, but I did get mean with Mr TDN when he got home, ranted about him to a friend instead of enjoying a nice dinner with them.
I know what is in my tool box and what I should have done, but I chose not to. The difference this time is that I confessed to Mr TDN the next morning. He was angry and upset, but we eneded up having a good talk and I think he gets it that I will never be CURED. And my friend was wonderful when I called to apologize for blaming Mr TDN for things that happened in the past when they were not all his fault. And I didn't spend the day wallowing in self pity and hatred. I knew I was throwing away six months of sobriety, but I also knew it was not going to be a relapse.
I have to tell my AA sponsor, but I am not going to tell the group. There has been a lot of anger and discord lately and there are a number of people therewho do not respect anonimity. One happens to be my former LDAC counselor, and there is a good possibility that she could be the instructor of the alcohol course I have to do sometime in June. The instructor can recommend that you lose your license for even longer than court ordered to, and I don't want that. And some really have an issue with power. I did tell the frind who works with me at the shop, and she agreed that it is sometimes better not to share with the whole AA group. She also admitted that she had slipped recently, and we talked about that. It is good to have somebody who understands.
Shue, Sunni, Dizzy--we have to step up our vigilance in the fight and learn from this. I don't want to leave an AF life, for sure.
Kas, thanks for the pics. Lovely as usual. Will go back and re-read yesterday's posts, as somebody else posted a nice pic and I ca't remember who:H
Walking in a bit, then have to get ready for church, then home for a few hours and then work later this afternoon. Going to be another beautiful day, and I am happy to be sober to enjoy it.
Thank you all for listening.

**momof3** · May 27, 2012, 07:57 AM

AF Daily - Sunday May 27th

Good Morning Fabber Abbers,

Okay gals, get back on the wagon.

One thing that continues to humble me is that there will always be a poured glass of wine, an open bottle, etc. that is only a reach away.

I had a few relapses before I quit for good and I would tell myself that I relapsed because of stress. Heck, sometimes I created the stress so I would have a reason to relapse. However, as Lav says, there are many people who ride the waves of stress without drinking.

One thing is for sure, there will always be stress, change, and tests. It takes strength, commitment and courage to make the choice to NOT drink. I can tell you this though, when you learn to manage the challenges without drinking, it builds so much strength and confidence. Look out world.

M3

**Kaslo** · May 27, 2012, 09:22 AM

AF Daily - Sunday May 27th

Good morning Fablistics. Thats a lot of people topping off the wagon all in one go, lately. Yesterdays confessions must have made an impression on me. I had a vivid dream of being sequestered in an insane asylum, and breaking into the fridge to get at the tiny bottles of vodka, it was SO real, could taste it, could feel the effects of it, and in my dream wondered what y'all would do to me during the butt kicking I was going to get on MWO the next day. Honestly TDN what were you thinking? And Shue, AND Diz. Well climb up gals. That is too close for comfort. Resorting to AL as "medicinal" cure for stress and disquiet in our lives is a social falsehood held over from pre-Prohibition, when it was used medicinally, and its been the biggest excuse ever since. Sunny said she wasnt that worked up about it, and I get that, i wasnt either when I had the champagne last June... but then I read about how often these little faux pas become the thin edge of the wedge. I woke up in a cold sweat by the way.

Just watched Shus batch of Eurovision songcontest videos AND Father Ted. Hilarious, really. Also wondering what ever happened to walking on stage with instruments and singing a song? Why the need for windstorms, fire jets and so much elbow grease? I guess those days are over. Watched Father Ted before the Eire entry, the twins with the hair and the medieval space outfits...and got the connection there. Those bagpipes on the Romanian entry were something else again. And as for the Russians.... . Thad cude leetle Baba there, so tiny. Oy. They need vocal coaching, and a dentist. And possibly Russian Retirement Home. Is this a sign of Russian demographics?

So Lav and Mo3 are right on. Build yourselves up. Be a man. Ok, but you know what I mean.

Kaslo

**LVT25** · May 27, 2012, 09:48 AM

AF Daily - Sunday May 27th

momof3;1323782 wrote: Good Morning Fabber Abbers,

Okay gals, get back on the wagon.

One thing that continues to humble me is that there will always be a poured glass of wine, an open bottle, etc. that is only a reach away.

I had a few relapses before I quit for good and I would tell myself that I relapsed because of stress. Heck, sometimes I created the stress so I would have a reason to relapse. However, as Lav says, there are many people who ride the waves of stress without drinking.

One thing is for sure, there will always be stress, change, and tests. It takes strength, commitment and courage to make the choice to NOT drink. I can tell you this though, when you learn to manage the challenges without drinking, it builds so much strength and confidence. Look out world.

M3

Hello friends,

Well put Mom3.

One of my biggest concerns after I quit, was I going to be able to handle all the stuff life threw at me sober??? I couldn't imagine since I had relied so heavily on AL for so much of how I handled things and who I was really. It was really hard at first--but I knew I was retraining my brain to find new ways to handle situations. Fights with my husband, my sister's illness and her passing, watching my best friend's husband fight cancer and lose, the stress of raising kids/teenagers......Not to mention the other reason's I drank. It was my reward for a long day at work and trust me, I've had plenty of those in the last 4 years since I quit al. I know you realize we make up these excuses to drink. When we are tired, hungry, etc...it is easier to give in. I just want you to know that it can be done--it takes lots of resolve and the real desire to be totally committed to AF. It is ultimately completely and totally up to you and you alone. But you know you always have support here at MWO and the daily AF thread. :l

I am enjoying my "vacation". If the weather would cooperate I would enjoy it more. The freakin wind just won't let up and I have had about all I can take of it. The wind-the dirt. But--it is perfectly calm out there right now so I am going to get my A$$ in gear and head out to work in my yard.

#1 son went camping last night. No late night texts or phone call so hope he was a good boy.

Have a great sober day all!:h

**Kaslo** · May 27, 2012, 10:20 AM

AF Daily - Sunday May 27th

You said it much better than me LVT.

**papmom3** · May 27, 2012, 12:01 PM

AF Daily - Sunday May 27th

ok fabbers-no time for niceties and handholding. Cut the crap, put your big girl and boy pants on and start dealing with life without the crutch of AL. As every single one of you found out this weekend, AL did NOTHING to take care of the problems you were facing. Did it numb you for 5 min or an hour? Possibly but at what price? TDN, you had confess to your DH and your friend and now you risk someone not keeping their mouth shut and your instructor finding out and quite possibly reprocussions. Shue-you knew this was coming, took some steps to avoid it but did nothing to address what was behind the slip. Avoidance doesn't always work-somtimes we have to figure out what is really going on and address it. Dizzy-you have had this anger building up for a while now along with other stressors. It's time to jump in to this relationship head first or cut the line. This land of nowhere is driving you crazy. All of us have to learn to deal with anger, disappointment and sadness without turning to AL. And there are other ways. 90% of the human race deals with everything we deal with without turning to drugs or AL.

I'm not saying I'm perfect. Far from it. I slipped twice in my first 2 months of trying to be AF. But after that second time, I got it. And I got my ass kicked too. Not the first time, the second time.

Here is what I'm dealing with now and I'm sorry for not sharing sooner. It's not earth shattering but each little thing builds up. I'm also giving you my way of dealing with it all in hopes you will find some tools that will work.

1. Possible job elimination. Boss won't talk to me about whether its for sure and if so what will happen to me.

How I'm dealing: I use the "worst case scenario" strategy: I lose my job completely. My house goes into foreclosure because I can't find a new job and I am homeless. Not so fast. My brother has a cottage on his property that isn't ideal for 5 animals and one human but it will do temporarily. I move there, rent free. I babysit, help him with his website and business, try to get my own business off the ground, join a quilt guild and take whatever job I can get at the University nearby. I have also interviewed for another job that may or may not pan out, I've expressed interest in another position at my university that may open up and if I get offered my friend's position when she officially retires, I will take it if I don't get the local job.

2. New neighbor moves in behind me with a new 5 mos old puppy. Quite a surprise as I didn't know the house was for sale. There is nothing between this puppy and my highly reactive dogs but a chain link fence. Now I have to worry about letting my dogs out when dogs on all 3 sides of me might be out. On 2 sides I can see the dogs. Behind me I can't. Too much shubbery blocking the view and the yard is huge and the dog is black (this will cause problems at nite). For now the dog is tied out far from the fence but their first priority is to fence in the rest of their yard soon so she can run free. Yay. This news really threw me for a loop yesterday. Feelings of being overwhelmed, angry because I can't just sell my house and move somewhere more private, angry because I don't have the skills to train my dogs not to be so reactive and angry because I can't replace the chainlink with a stockade-no money.

How I'm dealing: I've spoken with the neighbor and we've shared our worked schedules but it's going to be trial and error. I need a privacy fence quickly but can't afford hardscape. What can I afford? Possible bamboo fencing tied to my fence OR fast growing vines using the fence as a trellis. Probably the bamboo as the dogs will rip the vines apart trying to get at the other dog. Also possible a hedge of Ornamental large grasses.
I'm also going to a seminar in July especially to learn skills to deal with fearful and reactive dogs.

3. After I got home yesterday, I decided to mow and trim the jungle as I couldn't even see the poop anymore! This despite 90 degree weather but I was psyched. Got my brand new mower out and WTF???? it wouldn't start. wouldn't turn over at all. Gave it 30 min rest and tried agan. Nothing, In desperation I gave it one more pull and smacked my upper arm against either the metal fence pole or my camper. I thought I had broken my arm!!

How I dealt: I gave a large angry cry of pain, my fav swear and went into the house crying my eyes out. I cried in pain, in frustration and in self pity. I can't do it all alone anymore. Its not fair. Why me? Why do I have to fight for everything? Yada yada. After about 30 min I realized the only thing I could do was call the guy that did my spring cleaning a few years ago and beg him to come today to take care of the jungle. Then, I had to somehow get that mower into my Jeep and to Lowes for repair. Might as well buy an AC for my bedroom while I'm at it. I came out of lowe's with a window fan, no ac (overkill), privacy film for the window so I can keep my curtains open and a new baby gate to replace the one I broke in anger a few months ago. I now have a beautifully mowed lawn minus $50, a cool bedroom and some privacy.

Moral: I didn't drink even tho I felt I was at the end of my rope (did I mention the 2nd degree burn on my other arm from my iron? I look like the walking wounded!!). Did I want to? Oh god yes!! so much!! But I know that brain chemistry wise AL would do nothing past the hour of numbness for me. I'm way past punishing myself with AL and that's what we do when we use it to deal with a problem. We are punishing ourselves: for not being good enough, for not being strong enough for not being (fill in the blank). We need to be confident in ourselves that we can handle anything life throws our way. Where would our dear lav be today if she had gone back to the bottle when FH walked out on her 2 years ago after 37 years of devotion? One of the most devestating things to happen to someone short of losing them to death yet she knew AL was not going to bring him back and she knew she had to rely on her own strengths to get through this. And she did. this is just one example of a role model for all of us. And there are so many more.

It will get easier I promise. Obtaining new skills does take practice and work but you can do it. Each time you use a skill other than AL to deal with a blow or strong emotion, hang in on your brain wall as a trophy and go back to it the next time you are in danger.

I love you all and my greatest fear is losing one of you to the beast forever. If I have to kick your butt every once in while to prevent that then I will. I also have tons of love and hugs when you need them to and here they are:
:l :h :l :h :l :h

**Turnagain** · May 27, 2012, 01:18 PM

AF Daily - Sunday May 27th

Wow....PapMom....

You are my idol. She-rah - Towanda x infinity.

Here is a hug for you!

:l

**shueaddict** · May 27, 2012, 01:48 PM

AF Daily - Sunday May 27th

Oh my gosh, Pap,

I am close to tears and in a good way. You saw right through me. Something has been up with me and I cannot put my finger on it. I feel I am changing. I thought maybe this is because I no longer see things through the AL glasses.

Thank you for putting things in perspective and putting yourself out there, showing me how you do it. And for the love, most of all.

Have a great night, all.

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