Sunday 18th February

[YoungAtHeart]

Sunday 18th February

Hi again, all. Does it look like I will make up for my lack of posts by bombarding you all with posts? I hope not, or at least not unwelcome posts, anyway....I was just messing around with my settings on my computer, trying to get my smilies back, but no such luck yet. Poop!

Victoria, I'm glad you pulled through your cravings. It is such an example for all of us that you can never REALLY be complacent. You and AFM are BOTH doing great! I haven't gotten there myself--I never seem to get further than 3 or so weeks before I mess up, whether a little or a lot. Even when I feel badly about myself though, I have to remember that, on the whole, I am doing so much better and am healthier than I was before, when I couldn't even conceive of being one day AF much less two or three weeks.

Nancy, I'm glad I haven't made a visit to the porcelain altar in quite a long time, not even Friday, although goodness knows, I probably should have! Yuck. Don't feel bad for me, though. I learned something important Friday night about tempting fate and spending time with people that I shouldn't be spending time with. I am so glad to hear that your son hasn't been called to Iraq. I am praying for you that "YET" doesn't come.

Macks, I don't mind your laughing. I had to laugh myself that I read this damn book, but I'll be darned if I remember it! It is both funny and not funny all at the same time. At least this time I WILL remember it!

Also, welcome SueCanDo. I don't think we've said hi, yet, so here's the welcome! I'm looking forward to seeing more from you.

Anyway, back to work for me. It's supposed to get warmer this week so that some of this darn ice can melt! Oh, and some really terrific news--Maddy got accepted into her 1st choice university, University of Maryland and so did her best friend. I feel that the universe is smiling on me DESPITE my bad choices sometimes. It's a comfort.

Hugs to all,
Kathy

[vinophile]

Sunday 18th February

Hello Abstainers,

I have been offline for quite a few days so I'm enjoying catching up with you all,,, in fact it's been so long that I almost feel like a newcomer.
I had a great AF February until last Friday night. So about 18 days until I caved.
Kathy, I guess we are similar in that we get to a certain point and then sabotage ourselves. However I think AA has a saying "progress not perfection" and I do know that I have made progress with my drinking. I do know I feel so muich better without the booze and am trying to" think beyond the first drink" to what awaits me on the otherside of it... more drinks which I will not enjoy and a hangover.

I look foward to re-connecting with you all this week.
Janet

PS Kathy,I too, have read books after several glasses of wine and forgotten what I read. It distressed me until I re-read a book I know I read stone cold sober. I didn't remember all of that book either......Now that really bothered me!!!!!l

[Lucy Van Pelt]

Sunday 18th February

Hi guys

Just wanted to post here..because I feel so self-centered posting on my own thread! Anyway, I don't think I ever read enough of the posts on abs to realize that some of you who post here actually have "slips"...that makes it somehow easier for me to feel comfortable to be here. Anyway, you guys also have awesome success here..and lots of wonderful support. Thanks for all your support to me in the last couple of days!! I am still in the good fight!! Drank a little tonight, but actually not very much, haven't smoked since Friday, and I know this isn't a quit smoking site, but the thing is, I have gotten honest with myself in a big way in the last couple of days, and that is huge. Cant promise that will stick, have no idea, just hope. Anyway, I am so impressed with how well so many of you are doing,, and want to stick near you...hoping some of it will just come off on me???

Kathy...thanks for your PM!! Victoria, accountable...how do you do it??? Nancy...My new friend..I never should have pre-judged you...my mistake...

Well, good night all. I guess, overall, I feel proud, in the last 4 nights, I have made progress, not perfection...but definately progress, and you have been there with me, cheering me on, and I think if you weren't there, I would have just thought..."Beth, you are a total failure, so give it up..." and I would have.

You are the best...I mean it...

Night all

Beth:h

[happycamper68]

Sunday 18th February

Beth,
You smoke? Never woulda thunk it! Love you and all the rest! :h

[Accountable for Me]

Sunday 18th February

Beth

Well, I can't say it is easy. It is far from easy. Not the cravings - only had one real bad craving last Saturday. It was a doozy to say the least. I had to pretty much crawl to my vehicle that day instead of going from the grocery store to the liquor store right beside it. It was a toughy. But one craving in the last 51 days isn't too bad.

The toughest part are the emotions and the raw nerves from being AF. I was on such a high for weeks. Coasting along in 'la-la' land. Then bang! The last several days have been utter hell. My moods have been so low and I have been extremely agitated. Even the noise from the TV and my cat's meow set me off LOL! My nerves feel as raw as skin badly scraped. This is the hardest part I believe. It would be so easy to go and get some alcohol and take these feelings down a notch. I think that is why many go back to drinking to be perfectly honest with you. Ultimately, I don't want to have to start over again. If it means having to go and see a doctor for some Valium I will. I know if I start to drink to calm the nerves/emotions I will end up drinking on a daily basis and then I will have to go through all of this again. And who knows - it could be worse the next time around. I honestly feel so darn crappy right now but I wouldn't pay a single penny for a drink to subside this. I need to ride this out and realize it is a part of the body's way of healing. I PM'd a person here today and asked for advice because honestly it is rough. She was super supportive and gosh, I thank her ever so much for it!!!

Perserverance, suffering, leaning on people here and trying to deal with the emotions is what gets me through this.

Beth, it takes commitment. It takes awareness of the possible overwhelming cravings or emotions you may get. It takes so much to get through this but it will be worth it. The habit first needs to be broken. Then you need to ride waves. Good and bad. I know you have it in you to do it. I can sense that about you. You have to keep on trying. You just have to. Don't give up. You will get there. Trust me. I was a super hard core drinker. I would drink until I was drunk almost nightly. I knew it was time. I wish you all the strength, love and support. :l

[Accountable for Me]

Sunday 18th February

oh... and

actually..... I have to thank everyone for being here. I shouldn't single out just one person. You all are truly awesome people. You all bring something very special to this place. I wouldn't of even dreamt of getting this far without you all. I have one thing to say to you all. Never give up the fight - ever!!

Much, much love,
Accountable:h :h

[kitkatsue]

Sunday 18th February

Hello everyone!!

I haven't posted in a while, I have been keeping up with the drink tracker. Which helps allot not to mention reading all of the wonderful posts. I'm 25 days AF, and I don't even remember the last time I went this long.

I usually mess up after two or three weeks and I came so close to buying my ritual PMS big bottle of wine, it doesn't help that the boiler is broke and I got the last half of my shower in cold water. I have that same cold shower to look forward to in the morning before work. But I didn't cave. being AF for 30 days means to much to me.

Congratulations to everyone no matter were you are as long as you are determined to keep on going, I owe my resolve to MWO forum and its many wonderful members.

Have a great evening or night as the case may be!!!

kitkat

[YoungAtHeart]

Sunday 18th February

I just had to add a little more to Beth. You say this isn't a "quit smoking" site, but funnily enough, both smoking and drinking both impact the neurotransmitter dopamine, and therefore have an awful lot in common! If you are struggling with both, I think that it is fine to post about both here. Also, congratulations that you haven't smoked since Friday.

I have been struggling with smoking since my sister came to live with me. I had a compromise going where I only smoked around my family--3-4 days a couple of times a year--then back to non smoking. It was only a struggle for a day or so afterwards. It's been much harder with my sister around. I got hooked again, and I hate it! I just bought those commit lozenges, and I want to get back to being smoke free as well. She's been away, and when she comes back in a couple of weeks, I don't want to pick it back up again.

So Beth, when I have a craving for a cigarette, I'll think of you, and if it helps you, when you have a craving, think of me. Keep up the good work. You ARE going in the right direction!

Hugs,
Kathy