Thursday morning!

[Lou]

Good morning to all abbers....it s 5.40 am here and i aint slept yet!!!!
Just wanted to say good morning to you all and wish you all a lovely day...am off to try and sleep again so i prob wont be back till this afternoon....i wish this insomnia would stop!!! everything else is good and i am happy...just wish i could sleep!!!!
Wishing you all a good day

Lou-Lou x x x

[Accountable for Me]

Thursday morning!

Oh Lou, that must suck! I am the complete opposite - I could sleep and sleep and sleep! I wish I had one full day on a weekend to just sleep................ ahhhhh........

It is 10pm here Wednesday and that is where I am hopefully heading now. I wish you the best on getting some rest!

I will post more tomorrow in this thread, when it is my tomorrow.

Nighty night!

[lucky 2.0]

Thursday morning!

I need Wednesday to last a bit longer please!

[bear73]

Thursday morning!

morning day 5 for me - cold developing now so hopefully at least should be able to get rid of it if it actually breaks out.
not sure who posted this but i am going to try the exercise for 10 mins if i can't face whoe lot- feel bit ill but mostly tired with cough,big glands and a stuffy head - not exactly flu!
has become bit of an excuse i think- will goto gym as itsforecast prety much non stop rain here for 4 days -eliminates the weather excuse - i have to cycle 10 mins each day to get to work so can do do 5 mins to do something i want/need to do.
out for mate's birthday tonight - not in mood for it to be honest but will go and maybe leave early- will be very drunky affair and have full on week at work /plus am not drinking ro smoking.
feels good though!!not devoting all my time/energy to worrying about how much to drink/recovering/stressing about it frees me up time and energy to concentrate on weight and exercise - and what i'm going to spend my saved cash on!!!
have a good day all, shower than work for me x

[Changeling]

Thursday morning!

Bad Day

I had a really bad day yesterday.
Spent the day with some old friends that are here in spain on holiday. We went to their hotel for the day about 1 hour from where we live.

The whole day was about drinking, they were either doing it or talking about it. All their stories about their holdiay revovled around drinking. How much they had had, what fun it had been.

My husband joined in with all the drinking throughout the day.
It was really difficult for me, for the first time I really felt like an outsider. I felt that I could not connect with them at all. They wanted us to stay for "Happy Hour" but I persuaded my husband it was time to leave.

I drove home feeling so depressed and isolated.
Well day 57 for me today and suddenyl I'm not feeling so good about it all.
any thoughts???
Changeling

[Mackeral]

Thursday morning!

Good morning all,

Day 6 today, still feeling really confident about it this time. I think this is my longest stretch AF this year for me upto now.

I had to do something the other day i never thought i would..My eldest 13 confronted me about my drinking...This is something i thought would never happen...It must have really been bothering her for her to say something because its just not in her nature..At 13 your biggest worry should be where is my next t-shirt coming from..Not is my dad gonna drink himself to death..She was so adult about it..so i treated her with the same respect and came clean...But as it goes she already knew...Like when i went to detox i told her i was working away...But she had clicked that when i came back i wasnt drinking..I'm proud of her for speaking her mind...But it made me wonder what the younger children were thinking and what they were going through...It breaks my heart thinking about it.....
The best way to stop that happening is not to drink...So that is the most important thing in the world for me right now..

Changeling, i remember last year when i got to around the 8 week mark i started asking questions...How good a grip have i got on this now?..Is it worth missing out?...Curiosity does kill the cat..For me anyway...I wish i had never let it get the better of me..Because all it does is put you back..I'd be 9 months af now...and not be struggling like i am.

Bear, sorry to hear about the cold..We have got the crappy weather also...Roll on the summer eh...Its good you got a plan for tonight..and the extra cash is a good thing all day long

Hiya Lucky

Accountable, i hope you get a good nights sleep..It sounds like you will

Lou, i know exactly where your coming from with the sleep thing, and i feel really sorry for you..It does suck... my nights have started getting later again the last couple of days..I can go to bed early but just lie there awake for hours...Have you seen your doc about it?...I saw mine but he was useless...He gave me anti depressants ....Big hug Lou:l

Will be back on later hopefully...Have a good day all

Love Macks

[Java]

Thursday morning!

Morning all, I am running short on time so forgive me for not addressing everyone. I am on day 41, and I am sad. I don't know what is wrong with me. I am not sad with anything alcohol related just sad. I don't know. I have been crying a lot and putting on a smile in here for you guys, but I have been hurting a bit, some of it I have reasons for, but some of it I can't explain. I don't want medication or a diagnosis. Everything seems to be upsetting me lately, and I don't know what to do about it.

Victoria

[YoungAtHeart]

Thursday morning!

Hi Everyone,

It is good to see you here today, even if you're not feeling that great. I haven't been AF as long as any of you at one stretch, but reading in Long Term Abs, it does seem that people come up on those periods when they get blue.

Changeling, I think it was completely normal that you would feel down after not having connected with old friends. You say that all they talked about was how much fun they had drinking and how much they were going to drink. With your awareness and sobriety, how could you have felt like an "insider"? You have changed, and I guess this is a painful part of the change....Do your friends know about your commitment to living alcohol free??

Victoria, it is sweet for you to try and put on a smile for us, but please just be yourself! If you want to share more about what's going on, please feel free; we're all here for you. Meanwhile, I'm sending you a hug. ((((Victoria))))

lucky, I wish I was a clock goddess for you!!

Lou, I feel for you, honey. Insomnia is a beast. You seem much nicer about it than I would be.....when the NHS finally agrees with your diagnosis and gives you the appropriate medication, I think it will help with you sleeping issue, too.

Hope you had a good sleep AFM-- ;-)

Keep up the good work, bear--cold or no--you are doing great and sounding about as motivated as one can be while feeling ill!

It sounds like you handled your daughter well, Macks, and it sounds like SHE HANDLED YOU PRETTY WELL, TOO! She sounds like a remarkable young lady already--must take after Lisa. At any rate, it is very clear that you cherish your children, and I'm sure they know that. I'm glad, too, that you are feeling better and stronger now that we're a little further into 2007.

Anyway, I'm just so-so today--mostly because I have too much to do. Getting my taxes done is coming along, and I still have some sewing to do, and soon I have to start billing again for February. It feels like a lot to get done.

At any rate, I'm going to hit send now, and hope this post doesn't go into cyberspace. That's been happening a lot lately.

Hugs to everyone! (((Hugs)))
Kathy

[southernbelle47]

Thursday morning!

Good morning Abers,
Good to see all here .
Lou....have you tried Melationin about thirty minutes before bed? I take about 2mg and it works for me...
Macks.....I know you are proud of your daughter. Things were rough with my daughter and me at that age. I think it was a Mom-daughter thing... She is STILL daddy's girl!
Lucky....I hope things will be much better for you soon. I need my Happy" duck back!:l
Victoria.....Changeling....Kathy....Bear and Account...many :l to you

I had a "God stop" moment yesterday..
After a conversation with hubby, I felt rejected and unloved and not understood at all.
I sat down in my reading chair and put my ear buds from my MP3 player in and started to read some. My player was a gift from one son and the younger son put some music on it and I'm just learning to turn it on....
So there I sit in all my "hurt feelings" and what comes on but a Josh Groban song from his album "Awake"...
The song is "You are Loved".....Here are the words..

"Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When you heart's heavy
I will lift it for you.

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I will break it for you.

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you

Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up

Because you are loved

Don't give up
Its just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside!
I'll be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you

Everybody needs to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world

Don't give up
Everybody needs to be loved

YOU ARE LOVED

:h Nancy
__________________
To God, our journey is as important as our destination.

[mikeupnorth]

Thursday morning!

Hello Absville,

I wanted to say hello and hope everyone is doing well.... Things in my life have begun to settle back down after all the transition. I'm in my new condo and my new job, and the stress level is down tremendously from where it was a couple of months ago. I'm still sober (just celebrated 5 months) and plan to stay that way (God willing). Resisting the urge to drink isn't such a daily struggle, but it's still there, and I suppose it always will be.

Changling, I can relate to feeling left out when everyone else is focused on drinking and having fun.... I just wanted to share something about that. This time around I've finally been able to change the way I think about drinking, so that I don't think of it as fun in any way, shape or form. It's not just that it's not fun for me -- this is also true for those people still using alcohol, whether they use it "moderately" or to unhealthy levels. Alcohol, like any other drug, provides a temporary and unnatural sense of fun. If that's what they want, then more power to them. But now, when I'm with people who are drinking, I'm very aware that I'm in the company of people using a drug. It's just as if I were going out with a group of people who were snorting coke or shooting up heroin all night -- the only difference is that alcohol is legal and socially acceptable. Would I envy the "fun" that a group of heroin users were having, even if they were using it moderately? Would I feel unhappy and left out? This might seem to be an extreme view, as alcohol has been a part of our culture for centuries... but a drug is a drug is a drug. Your brain doesn't know the difference. Anyway, it has helped me to put things in perspective and feel a little less left out when others are having their fun. I've had enough of that fun, thank you. I know where it leads, and don't want to go back.

And Victoria, I think that these periods of sadness might be a normal and natural part of the process of change. After all, we're letting go of something that used to be a big part of our lives. Even though we know we are doing what's absolutely right, we mourn the loss. It's just a thought -- perhaps if you're feeling blue and don't know why maybe that's it.

Anyway, it's good to "see" everyone here. Hope you all have a great day!

Mike

[lorisunshine]

Thursday morning!

Feeling your pain!

Good morning all,
Have had a crazy 2 weeks and could only scan your posts and did not have time to reply. (Did anybody miss me??)
Those damned stress triggers. Sorry about the sleepless nights, I do remember them. Sorry for the cold bear. Don't you hate tax paperwork? I do hate it so much. Even thought I'm on about 52 days of AF, I don't feel good about it, the enthusiasm has gone right out the window. I get no support and have to distance myself from my husband in order to stay on the straight and narrow. How long can I keep this up for Gods sake.
Deep down I know it is all going to be worth it in the end. I feel really sad and empty and have that sort of "what next" feeling. It's good to hear from our Alaskan. Mike your success is very encouraging to me and I am clinging to my silent mantra of "it is not an option", blah, blah, blah.
Sorry to be so downtrodden. I'll be back when I can be more cheerful.
Love you all buckets in your various struggles.
Lori.

[YoungAtHeart]

Thursday morning!

I missed you Lori--please don't wait to be in a good mood to come back again. I don't think we should only post when we're feeling good! It gives a very unrealistic perspective of sobriety. I'm sorry about having to distance yourself from hubby, that stinks.

Anyway, I'm taking a break from taxes and sewing a little today before work. It's a nice change.

It's nice to see you visiting Mike! You're still just one of my absolute favorite people (((hugs and smooches))).

Okay, back to the salt mines.

Hugs,
Kathy

[Lou]

Thursday morning!

Hello again!!

Well i managed to get a few hours sleep before i had to go about my business for the day....but i feel awfull, think im coming down with something im all achey and just feel out of sorts. Feelin all sorry for myself :-(
Thanks for the kind words guys...macks thanks for the hug, it helped.
Mike....lovely to hear from you and to hear that your still going strong x x x

[Accountable for Me]

Thursday morning!

Good morning Absville!

Hugs to you all. :l

Macks: It must be hard for your daughter to come face to face with you about the drinking. Good for you for speaking to her like a mature adult about it. She probably appreciated it a lot. It is a good thing to keep the lines of communication open. 13 is a tender age. Our children are very good reminders for why we are trying so badly to make this huge life change. I bet she gave you the encouragement to stay focused although she may not have expressed it in those words exactly. It sounds like you have a very lovely family.

Bear: Hang in there. The more time you get under your belt the better you will feel. Good job for coming back to the AF train.

Lou: Glad to hear you got some rest. Tis the season for colds and flu. Your lack of rest and good sleep will bring on a 'run down' feeling. Try the Melatonin. It is good stuff. I don't use it anymore, but when I went through bouts of insomnia it really helps!!

Nancy: Sorry to hear you were feeling unloved last night. Hang in there. It is hard at times when we don't have the 'cheering section'. Unfortunately this is a battle we must fight for ourselves. We are going to feel this way at times. But what helps me is I know I am doing this for me. And you have to keep your chin up and tell yourself the same.

Victoria: This will pass. Although I knew why I was feeling blue, a lot of it was not turning to the bottle to relieve the periods of sadness. I rode through them, and it was super tough. Hang in there. It seems from the people I have read about who hit the 40-50 day mark are/have experienced the same thing. It is par for the course I am assuming. At least it seems that way. And, hey, you don't have to be brave and keep a smiling, enthusiastic face here. The boards are here for the good and the bad. It would probably due you a lot of good to dump it out you know. It really, really helped me immensely!! :l

Young: Taxes are on my menu for today. They don't have to be done until the end of April, but I figure I might as well get them out now while I have the time to do it. So much fun. Although I didn't work this past year (home with the child) so mine should be easy as pie. Good luck with yours. They are never fun no matter what!

Mike: Good to see you. You always have a way of brightening up peoples days! You are such a valuable source of wisdom for us people on the AF train. Congrats on your 5 months. Your brutal honesty about what the alcohol really helps me keep focused that is for certain! Thank you for that.

Changeling: Gosh, I have this family get together this Saturday as my sister has moved into her new home. It is a celebration of her graduating college, having a baby and her new home. Well, my family are all big drinkers and this will be my first challenging event. I will be the ONLY person there sober. Good Lord, give me strength. I am totally going to feel as you did. Left out. I am trying to use all of my mental powers to psych myself up for this. You did a fantastic job staying sober. I honestly believe the more we expose ourselves to these situations and remain strong it will get easier.

Lori: I completely understand what you are feeling right now. I am finding hard to stay motivated at times too. Now that the novelty has worn off some, I constantly trying to stay focused. You are doing such a fantastic job!!!

I hope I haven't missed anyone!! If I have it is because of short term memory loss!!! I love you all to bits, and I hope you all have a wonderful day!! Day 55 for me.:l :l

Accountable.