I hope all is well. If any of you out there want to join in on this thread, please feel free. If you're struggling w/sobriety or relapse, this is a good resource, even if you are not an AA member. I haven't relapsed since I joined AA, but I did plenty of relapsing before...even though I was a member here at MWO. As discouraging as relapsing was, I learned something each time. I learned that I really cannot take that first drink. I can't drink moderately regardless of how hard I try, regardless of how many restrictions & rules I put on myself. I also learned that if I go back to drinking, even after a long time abstinent, I go back w/a vengeance at the levels (& then some) I was at before I relapsed. I've heard this fact over & over at speaker meetings. When we go back to drinking, even after a long period of sobriety, it doesn't take long before we are drinking at the same levels & even more than before we stopped. I had the gift of desperation. I had really bottomed out w/my drinking. I had been hospitalized w/an alcoholic overdose, I was spiritually bankrupt, & I felt that I was going crazy. I knew I couldn't stop drinking by myself. I needed some kind of fellowship to help me. I really value the sober lifestyle today. It's something I live on a daily basis & going to meetings throughout the week is what keeps me sober.
Sobriety is different for everyone. My brother gave up drinking on his own & is happy w/how he feels & functions. I understand that AA isn't the only path to sobriety. I don't feel like a fanatic. It's just that I personally couldn't have gotten sober wo/AA. I would have progressed into deeper alcoholism.
I hope all is well everyone out there.
Mary
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