Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

    Hi AAers et al:

    I hope all is well. If any of you out there want to join in on this thread, please feel free. If you're struggling w/sobriety or relapse, this is a good resource, even if you are not an AA member. I haven't relapsed since I joined AA, but I did plenty of relapsing before...even though I was a member here at MWO. As discouraging as relapsing was, I learned something each time. I learned that I really cannot take that first drink. I can't drink moderately regardless of how hard I try, regardless of how many restrictions & rules I put on myself. I also learned that if I go back to drinking, even after a long time abstinent, I go back w/a vengeance at the levels (& then some) I was at before I relapsed. I've heard this fact over & over at speaker meetings. When we go back to drinking, even after a long period of sobriety, it doesn't take long before we are drinking at the same levels & even more than before we stopped. I had the gift of desperation. I had really bottomed out w/my drinking. I had been hospitalized w/an alcoholic overdose, I was spiritually bankrupt, & I felt that I was going crazy. I knew I couldn't stop drinking by myself. I needed some kind of fellowship to help me. I really value the sober lifestyle today. It's something I live on a daily basis & going to meetings throughout the week is what keeps me sober.

    Sobriety is different for everyone. My brother gave up drinking on his own & is happy w/how he feels & functions. I understand that AA isn't the only path to sobriety. I don't feel like a fanatic. It's just that I personally couldn't have gotten sober wo/AA. I would have progressed into deeper alcoholism.

    I hope all is well everyone out there.

    Mary
    Wisdom, Courage, Strength
    October 3, 2012

    #2
    Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

    Mary thanks for your post. The vacation went well....right up until the point my entire family was fighting. I did not have enough tools/time under my belt to make it through. And yes, that first drink triggers it all. I am always amazed at people who go to AA and never relapse. Good Lord....I have so many day 1 chips....its embarrassing. I do remember years ago how great it felt to get to get that 6 month chip.

    Here my struggle today....I know that the life is better. But, right before vacation I got a message from my ex-sponsor that she did not really want sobriety back (after 13 years sober she went back out). I questioned myself as I had gotten sober 2x in AA for 9 months each. And I went back out. If sobriety is so great...why would I have gone back out...and have an ex-sponor who is relishing her wine at dinner.

    My struggle is getting a sponsor. There is not a whole lot of women here with a decent amount of time. As soon as I get one.....they go all hands on board....if you drink at all I will drop you. And you have to go a meeting a day, you have to do this and you have to do this. I am an alkie and if you threaten to drop me if I drink at all....then I drop you. Its stupid. But, I am a sick person.

    My life has not fallen apart. I have done a ton of stupid things.....but, I always say I know what my true bottom is. And quite frankly I don't want to get there. I know that I am spiritually bankrupt. As much as I go to church and meetings....I don't seem to get that connection....and I never really had it when I was sober.

    A friend in my meetings reached a tough spot.....went to a place where they were all drinking and she did not. She said....when a friend questioned her on her not drinking....she said she knew she could drink..... it would put her relationship with God in jeporady and she was not willing to risk that. I guess I feel like....I never had that. I never got a true connection with him....as much as I seek it.

    I have spent enough time at step zero. And feel like it was very important. But, how do you take step 1? I feel like I need to be dunked in water, like something has to happen to SHOW I took it. I have meditated on it....and when I am all done with it....I don't feel anything. I do believe in a higher power....that I call God....I just don't feel it. I guess I still have a hard time thinking he really cares about me personally.

    My hubby and I talked about all the shit going across FB....that you should have to be drufg tested to get food stamps. Thank God we have never had to go there.....but, I so disagree with it.....because of the the kids who suffer. I have been apart of several food banks and they talk about....Friday lunch is the last day that kid gets any food until Monday. Regardless of whether you Mom or Dad is an addict....the kids suffer.

    Enough of me today Thank you for being here Mary. I know that many people do not post here.....but, I do want AA. And I really think you are going to be key to me getting there....not just in person. So you are doing a great service. I love everything about AA. And I can't wait to be the person....who is actually able to help someone.....and you are a great role model. Thank you!

    Comment


      #3
      Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

      SF: I didn't like everything about AA...especially in the beginning. I just went & tried not to think about it too much. My main concern was staying sober ODAT. Regarding the God thing: a guy in a meeting said that when he questioned God/HP w/his sponsor, the sponsor told him to read "The Chapter to the Agnostic" every night before he went to sleep. He said that helped.

      I've never heard of a true alcoholic turning into a social drinker who could have a glass of wine w/dinner. Maybe it happens, but it wouldn't be possible for me. As far as a sponsor is concerned, keep an open mind, go to different meetings, & your sponsor will happen for you.

      Good luck.

      Mary
      Wisdom, Courage, Strength
      October 3, 2012

      Comment


        #4
        Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

        Good morning all.
        I did the 630am meeting this morning. Great way for me to start the day. Almost 3 years I had to make a decision whether I really wanted to stop drinking. I probably spent time from April to December of 2009 making that decision. Geez....that seems like a long time, but it takes what it takes.
        Life is still life, still struggle with it, but you know what? No matter what happens, I don't take that first drink.
        Simple enough for me.
        Have a great holiday y'all.
        Love and Peace,
        Phil


        Sobriety Date 12.07.2009

        Comment


          #5
          Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

          Hi guys; back on day 1 and very determined! Although I don't go to AA I always find your posts and experiences really helpful, so hope you don't mind me popping in....
          IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
          Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

          Comment


            #6
            Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

            daisy: Thank you so much for popping in. Today is day 1 for you & independence day in the U.S.A. Let this be your independence from alcohol. Use the tools if you feel like you might slip:
            -remember the bad times.
            -get busy & do something.
            -call someone.
            -go out.
            -eat something.
            -whatever works for you.

            AA isn't a requirement for everyone's sobriety. It is for mine, but everyone gets sober in his/her own way. You do this Daisy, because you want it. The sober life is so much better than the drunken life. I can't imagine why I drank the way I did. I don't take my sobriety for granted though. I know I'm one drink away from my next drunken binge.

            Mary
            Wisdom, Courage, Strength
            October 3, 2012

            Comment


              #7
              Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

              Wow, glad I found this thread.
              Day 6 AF for me.
              Was away from the program for a year and am now back. Found a home group and with them and MWO I think I may make it this time.

              Comment


                #8
                Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

                Thank you Mary; I recently got 68 days AF and know that I want the sober life - I really admire anyone who goes to AA and although I don't, I will not rule anything out.....I am hungry for anything that will help me, but for now I will post and check in.
                IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

                  daisy & porquois: I tried to get sober for years & years. I joined MWO in 07 & had some abstinence for periods of time but always relapsed. I was in denial for a long time but eventually I had to finally own up to the fact that once I start drinking I cannot stop. A very ugly drunken experience in Feb. 09 is what caused me to join AA. I realized that I could not stop on my own even w/MWO to help. I needed face-to-face support. I needed a fellowship of other alcoholics. I certainly felt out of place at first. I started alcoholic drinking late in life & joined AA when I was 64...a grandmother...& felt so different from many of the young male alcoholics I saw at meetings. I just turned off my judgemental brain & made myself go to meetings. Eventually, I joined a meeting & got a sponsor & saw many women close to my age. Keep going one day at a time. I just passed my 3rd sober anniversary in March & can honestly say I hardly miss drinking at all. I've had my ups & downs in sobriety, but I wouldn't want to numb out for anything in the world. I'm learning to deal w/life on life's terms. Take care & good luck. Please come back. Mary
                  Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                  October 3, 2012

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

                    Thanks Retteacher
                    I agree, I missed that fellowship when I stopped. I'm glad I'm back.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

                      This morning my sponsor & I visited the wife of one of our AA friends who was being operated on for cancer. He's a big part of the local meetings I go to, & we wanted to be there for his wife at this difficult time. I see now that the AA program is so much more than about not taking the first drink. It's about support & living the right kind of life. I had a great talk w/my sponsor about working steps 10, 11, & 12. I'm coming to an end of this round of working the steps. While the change in my life is not dramatic, it is there & evident, especially to me. I'm honest about myself & feel comfortable in my own skin. Ironically, that was the feeling I was looking for in drinking. Alcoholism, though, has the complete opposite effect. I couldn't be an alcoholic & be honest, & I was never comfortable w/myself. I guess you can see from this post that I'm pretty grateful to be sober. Mary
                      Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                      October 3, 2012

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

                        Hi everybody! I just got back in AA, three days sober because of the amazing women in my city, and I am so appreciative. The alternative for me is losing everything. I am finally at the point of realizing it.

                        So, I am interested in this thread and thought I would introduce myself!

                        Liath
                        Liath

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

                          L: You will be a welcome addition to this thread. There are wonderful people here. I love MWO but need AA to stay sober. Please come & share any time you feel the desire. Mary
                          Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                          October 3, 2012

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

                            Anxiety

                            On day 4, I experienced terrible anxiety, which really made me want to drink. I have a major anxiety-producing examination for grad school coming up... but I think my mind was trying to trick my body into going to the liquor store.

                            Instead I went to my second meeting of the day.

                            A question for you all--

                            Are there many people in AA on this site? Or is it mostly those who are trying to do things the MWO way? (It didn't work for me! No amount of supps and subliminal messages was going to relieve me of my insanity..)

                            Thanks,
                            Liath

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Weekly AA Thread - July 3 - July 8

                              L: There aren't a whole lot of people who share at this thread. But, we are, for the most part, active AA members. I go to 3 - 5 meetings @ week at this point. I do service in the program & have a sponsor & home group. Those were the suggestions that I took from the very beginning of my membership in AA. I don't take suppliments or any kind of anti-drinking drug (i.e. antabuse).

                              I drank because of anxiety which only made it worse. It got to the point where I was very isolated & afraid even to drive my car. I can honestly say that my life has opened up since I got sober. I have had many challenges in the 3 years since I stopped drinking but have gotten through them all wo/alcohol.

                              I came here to MWO in 07. I found it valuable in terms of breaking down my resistence to admitting that I'm an alcoholic. I was in deep denial. But, I needed face-to-face contact w/other alcoholics (i.e. AA) in order to stop drinking. I couldn't stop relapsing even w/MWO as a support system. I still come here every day but really need meetings & a connection w/AA members in order to stay sober.

                              I hope I answered any questions you might have Liah. Please keep asking if I didn't.

                              Good luck.

                              Mary
                              Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                              October 3, 2012

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X