sunday morning

[bear73]

hi everyone up about 8 again - just don't need the masses of sleep that i used to.off to gym in a mo for 30 mins then out to London gain with family.cleaned kitchen loor this am -dont be too impressed my house is a mess and needs lots of cleaning/tidying.
have a good un everyone - pmt is awful crying,sad bla bla anyway tomorrow should be better hormonally

[Changeling]

sunday morning

Day 60 - Yipee!!!!

Sunny sunday here in spain.
I'm off to play golf today - my game has improved considerably lately (Coincidence - I think not)

There seems to be a theme going on here -
People so pleased when they manage to stop drinking and put a string of AF days together
Start noting all the ways life has improved - emotionally, physically, financially
Yet
When we reach a certain point be it 30 / 60 / 90 start thinking about moderation - trying to go back to occasional drinking.
This really scares me - I did that last year (after 7 months AF) tried moderation and ended up within 3 months drinking more than i ever did before, completely out of control.
If we really remember how bad the drinking made us feel - why would we even want to
"just do it occasionally"
"just have a few at celebrations"
anybody else having this conversation with themself???
Best wishes to all
Changeling

[dilayne]

sunday morning

Mornin' Changeling..
Yeah, I think some of us have as difficult a time accepting the good in our lives (the feeling of sobriety) as we do the hard and difficult things (hangovers, remorse...) It can't be all or nothing. The good comes with some bad, and the bad comes with some good..so we think, I guess...the only good I see in using alcohol to feel 'good' is that we trick ourselves into thinking we don't have to face life itself..face ourselves or to go through the process of growth, which can be painful. We think we can live without growth? We might as well be dead, heh?

Feeling lousy..I've relapsed with flu symptoms and I have to admit it has me down..it's raining here and I feel myself just feeling weak, a little negative and feeling old..when I get like this way, I feel so insecure..I actually get in touch with some of my hidden fears and anxieties..they are always there, I guess, I'm just more conscious of them right now. YUK! I'm trying to think more positively..making my gratitude list, even working on a vision board to help me feel positive and hopeful about some things I want in my life right now...just daring to dream is scary and trusting that I can create the life I want..I know I can, I've done it many times, but the last few years, I kind of stopped dreaming...I focused a little too much on my dissappointments...which, if you believe in the Law of Attraction, will just bring more...I decided a few months ago that I want to move closer to my work instead of commuting. This has come after realizing I have a pretty good deal with my job..I'm old enough now to actually be considering my retirement..I'm 48, but could retire at 60..I'll be at my job 4 years next month, vested for retirement in 10..not too many jobs around here that would give me that benefit..so I've become pretty humbled in thinking about that and making plans for my future....my husband commutes in the opposite direction for his work, so the whole process has involved enrolling him into the idea..he is a carpenter and moves from company to company and does side work. I think we are getting on the same page with this..but it's a brought up a lot for us. Basically that we both do harbor a belief that tells us that we won't survive unless we both have to give up our lives for work...we are turning that around now..not without resistance.

OK, I'm rambling..I guess I want to say that making the decision to go Abs (over 4 months now) has moved us both in this direction. It is really scary..it means we might actually be able to create a life where we have lots of time and energy to do the things we love..and that we might actually not have to sacrifice our entire lives to our work...imagine that!

Have a good day everyone!
Namaste!
Dianne

[Accountable for Me]

sunday morning

Good morning Abs!

Day 58 for me. (Not too far behind you Changeling!).

Up VERY early today. Gosh, I really wish my kid would sleep. I am going to snap soon. She wakes up around midnight and stays awake until 2 or 3 in the morning. This is KILLING me!!!! Why oh why wont she sleep? This has been going on for over a week now. There was only one night she slept through and that was because I brought her to bed with me out of pure exhaustion. The last thing I want is for her to be sleeping with me though. If it continues I will take her to her doctor. I know there is nothing physically wrong with her - this is so frustrating. The bags under my eyes are so huge. I look just as bad as I did when I was drinking. Anyway........... rant over.

Going out with my mom today to scope out some more potential homes for her. She had an offer on her condo this week, so she needs to find something quick. I LOVE looking at real estate. I am happy she is buying a house this time. I guess with three young grand kids, she figures she needs a yard. Plus she is an avid gardener. Should be fun. Need to pump in more caffiene into my system by 9am though.

Changeling: I was having those thoughts about possibly moderating the last couple of days. I was thinking maybe next Saturday I would, but I have since decided not to. I am not certain I would be able to control my drinking. I really enjoy being sober. I like the freedom sobriety brings. I think maybe I was feeling a bit complacent. I watched a movie yesterday afternoon, 28 days. It is about this woman who is ordered into Rehab after crashing her sister's wedding and doing a bunch of other crazy stuff. I have seen this movie a couple of times before (once in rehab LOL) and it was a reminder for me how crazy my life was while under the influence. It couldn't of come at a better time quite frankly.

Bear glad you are feeling better. Have fun in London.

Dilayne: I hope you feel better soon. The flu and the bad weather is a downer for sure. Snuggle up in a nice cozy blanket and take care of yourself.

To the rest of you to come, I wish you a happy Sunday! :l

[Mary Anne]

sunday morning

Good Sunday Morning!

Good morning Di, accoutnable, bear and Changeling!! I am sorta new here, migrated over from the mod forum for at least a few months if not for good:new:

I have really struggled the past month and 1/2 w/ trying to moderate, don't really think it is possible for me, may work for some,but once I start, may be able to mod. for a few days, then I go WAAAAY overboard! (I'm talking 24/7, not even enjoying it anymore, drinking everything in site just to keep myself "numb"??!!) Anyone else relate?? Changeling, I relate to sooo much that you said.......

I am determined to try to kick this thing, even going to AA, but don't know how involved I will get Tried it in the past, with no luck, but maybe this time is different?? Maybe this time I have hit my bottom!:upset:
It was painful enough, a week ago, I couldn't get out of bed cuz I started drinking wine at 6AM!?!?!?!? CRAZY!

anyway, now I am rambling.
I am so thankful to be a member of this wonderful organization!! THANKS RJ!!!:h
Love to all,

Mary Anne

[Accountable for Me]

sunday morning

Mary Anne, welcome! Good for you for giving your body a break! I have been where you are. It got to the point where I would have a drink in the morning too towards the end. That is when I knew I was in trouble big time and needed to do something about it. That is when I came across this website. Out of pure desperation. I cannot express enough how grateful I am of this place.

Take it one day at a time. Treat yourself super nice. Embrace your days without the alcohol. You can do it! There are a lot of us who cannot moderate. I was thinking about it, but honestly who knows if I can and do I even want to try?

Hang in there. We are rooting for you!!

[cpn1004]

sunday morning

Happy Sunday Everyone.
Great words posted by all of you.
I feel strong about facing the beautiful day the Universe has given me.
Love and Peace,
phil

[Newyear]

sunday morning

Good morning bear, changling,dianne, accountable, mary anne

To moderate or not to moderate - that is the question. I think this is an on going dialogue I have in my head. I would like to think I could go out to dinner and have a glass of wine. But I'm just not so sure that I could. I have another issue too - I have rosacea. I love red wine and it is the worst for rosacea. Sometimes I can drink and nothing happens, but other times I can have a half a glass and my nose and cheeks get beet red.
It is very embarassing. And the anxiety after turning red makes it ten times worse.
I have left parites before because of it.
I can't even cover it up with makeup.
So that fear has kept me from wanting to try drinking again in public.
If I knew I were going to drink when going out - I would have a glass or three before leaving the house - just to see if my face was going to get red. Being tired usually made things worse too. Anyone else have this affliction??
Well, this is one reason I started drinking alone at home.
My cats didn't care about my red face. So, when I think of moderating I think about this too.
I am too scared to buy a bottle of wine for home - for me to drink at home alone.
I'm pretty sure that would lead me back to where I started.
The rosacea is helping me say no thanks in public places now.
Funny, I was out to dinner the other night with two girlfriends. They both had a glass of wine with dinner. I went to the bathroom and realised my face was flushed ( not realy bad but I knew it). Guess just the idea of it makes me flush some.

Anyway...thought I would share. Sorry you are sick dianne - hope you feel better soon.
Happy house hunting accountable- sounds fun. And welcome mary anne - glad to see you here.

:l
Lisa

[dilayne]

sunday morning

Hi Mary Anne, glad to see you here. Trust your heart with this one. It's just true that some of us can moderate and some of us can't. I gave it a darned good shot, and had to realize that just the effort was not worth 'the right to drink'...when I closed the back door on the option, I felt much freer to get on with my life. I guess you have to just really do some soul searching to find the answer to the question..is drinking worth it? It helped me a lot to just put it in perspective...my husband is actually the one who came up with the question after we started drinking together after 16 years of alcohol free drinking..after the kids group up, we said, "what the heck."..."let's let our hair down"..well, we both have addictive natures anyway and it wasn't long before we would find an excuse to have a bottle almost every night..a big one. We struggled with how to handle ourselves..(he never has admitted that he had trouble moderating) it was when our therapist suggested that we deal with it from a relationship standpoint..my husband realized that I couldn't moderate and that it would be very hard for me to if he continued drinking...he finally asked the question, "what's the big deal about drinking"...somehow he was able to look at it that way, he knew he could take it or leave it and it just wasn't worth the anxieties and the efforts that it was causing. I don't know why I couldn't look at it like that at the time...I was clinging so tightly to the idea that I would be able to do it without a struggle. Good Luck!

Thanks Accountable! I'm making myself stay in bed (I keep trying to pretend that I'm not sick)..I'm reading books now...

[dilayne]

sunday morning

HI Lisa..maybe the rosacea is really a gift in disguise...it tells you quickly that the wine isn't good for you?

[dilayne]

sunday morning

oops, clarification...I said above, "we started drinking together after 16 years of alcohol free 'drinking'..I meant alcohol free LIVING"....sorry...can't type and think at the same time!

[mikeupnorth]

sunday morning

Good morning all,

Lisa -- your rosacea situation reminds me of a line that a counselor of mine used to use when I was in outpatient rehab. She said, "I have an allergy to alcohol. When I drink, my life breaks out in problems." How true that is for me....

I've been dealing with some urges to drink here and there, but I haven't had the delusion that I could start drinking moderately. I know that if I drink, there's no such thing as moderation. (That's my experience, anyway.) And for me to want to drink moderately, I have to buy into the lie that there is some benefit to doing so. As far as I can tell, there aren't any benefits of drinking moderately. At least not for a person who has the risk, as I do, of slipping from moderation back into heavy, alcoholic drinking. The risk just isn't worth it. So I don't let my mind settle on that fantasy at all. Don't get me wrong -- my mind wanders to the thought of a drink, sometimes several times a day. But I just don't let my mind focus on it, I don't sit and daydream about it, I don't let myself become obsessed with it. I remind myself of why I stopped, I remind myself that drinking is not an option and that I'm happy I don't do it any more (which I am) and move on. Other days I hardly think about it at all.

Life really is better without it... and I just try not to feed the beast, so it can't get the better of me!

Anyway, laundry calls. Have a great Sunday~

Mike

[southernbelle47]

sunday morning

Good morning Glories!

What a great day today after all the storms last night!
Belle and I both broke out in hives over the thunder and wind and rain!
She actually hyperventilates!

We made it through!!!

Off to a church service....Will check back later.
:h NAncy

[irishlady]

sunday morning

Well its evening here now so Good Evening everyone,
I've been working today and just got home about an hour ago.....Just wanted to put in my twopenny worth as regards moderation....NO WAY....A few times over the last few months my little sober friend has tiptoed to the wall and looked over at Moderation Valley with nostalgia, thinking, well, I've gone this long without a drink surely I can handle it now, where's the harm in perhaps a couple of glasses of wine on a Saturday night... As soon as I become aware of what is happening, I put on my heaviest walking boots and kick my little sober friend in the butt, as hard as I can....He knows by now, moderation is NOT an option for me... Oh for a week maybe, I would be okay, but after that I know I would be drinking heavier then I was before...

For me, that would be like someone opening a door to show me this wonderful life I could have, then when I reached out for it, slamming the door in my face

The life I have now bears no comparison to the one I had when I was drinking, its never been better, and, as time goes on I know it will get better still....So, give all that up for few glasses of poison, NO THANKS....

Keep Well,
Louise xxx

[lorisunshine]

sunday morning

Rosacea sufferers!

Happy sunny Sunday to all,
It's a beautiful day today. I hope it is not the proverbial calm before the storm. They have promised us another storm for tonight and tomorrow. Hope I don't have to drive far.
You are all doing really well and I, in turn draw strenght from you. Thank you for that.
Lisa "with the numbers", I just want to briefly address the Rosacea issue. I also suffer from this annoying affliction. Having paperthin, nordic skin, my capilaries would shine through very pink anyway. It gets even worse at the slightest excertion, like tennis in the summer, a hike on a very hot day or just bending down doing gardening. All alcohol is a killer for this. It is hereditary. Short of having laser surgery, there really is nothing out there that helps on a permanent basis. I can be deadly ill and everyone still thinks I look healthy.

I have found a wonderful product that was developed in the US by a dermatologist in order to help cover unsightly scarring, rosacea, birthmarks or just high colour. It is called Dermablend. It comes in little pots. One dabs it onto moisturized skin until all that you want to cover is done. Let it dry over a minute. Then go over with the colorless dermablend powder and let that sit for a few minutes. You can still go over with another foundation, as long as it is not too oily. This make-up stays on almost all day and you can even go swimming with it. If you cannot find a shade that is perfect for your undertone, you can buy 2 colors and blend them right on your skin.

At night emulsify your face with an oil based cleanser and wipe it off completely. Then carry on with whatever regime you are used to. It has been my saving grace.
I don't know why I haven't thought of sharing that with you all before.
Give it a try Lisa, you might just like it.

All of you have a wonderful "Oscar" night.

xoxoxoxo Lori