Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

[scottish lass]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

here for you Daisy, you have a lot on your plate - do what you need to do to get thru it all. You have awareness of your drinking and that is a step in the right direction, you will be able to take care of yourself really soon and will be in a better place to kick this beast. Do not be too hard on yourself, that will not achieve anything. Take care, be strong....reach out as you need to and are able to.....with love, SL

[Byrdlady]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

This is a time for strength, and AL won't do anything but pull you down. Please try to get thru this with a clear head so you can make good decisions and not break down. I know how it is when so much is dumped at you....and you were there when it was happening to me...I want to be here for you, so I'm going to kick you in that flat behind and tell you gather yourself up, and stay the course...you will never regret staying sober. AL doesn't give us strength of any kind...nor better judgment, all it does it HURT. Look what it has already done. This is the time to show what you are made of...and I know you can do it!! Your family needs you! Please keep us posted! Byrdie

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Thank you Byrdie and Scotlass; it has been a rough ride for sure. After spending all day today ringing doctors to try and get some answers, we finally got an appointment for this week with one of them. Had to fight hard for it as they weren't going to see us for another month....
More bad news came tonight; my God-daughter's partner committed suicide today so I am just back from her house....I have never seen a Summer like it!
Really, with so much going on, I have to say I have not been drinking all Summer but this past few weeks took their toll and I can feel myself creeping rapidly down that horrible road since the weekend. I will be on day 1 tomorrow and would so appreciate you being there....I know the drill and am ready....

[scottish lass]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Oh good grief Daisy! Unreal.....
Well done on the commitment to add more AF days to your progress - we will be here cheering you on the way....

[Byrdlady]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

2012 has been one of the worst in my memory. And I've been sober the whole time!! I just can't believe that yet another stone has been added to the pile. I'm so sorry. We will be here for you and Day 1 will pull you out of this downward spiril. Please don't go back to that lonely dark place.
So glad you have an appointment this week, hopefully you all can get some answers. Thinking of you at all times...Byrdie

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Shit happens!! Up to me how I deal with it....so time to take action.
Today I am taking control. I will try to get on here as much as I can; just so much going on. I am picking up my Godchild's toddler now. There are 3 young children. I'll have her for the day so that will be nice.
I really appreciate your support and will do my best not to let you or myself down....

[patrice]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Hi Daisy,
All my strength to you for taking back the reins...and its great you can help your god daughter at this awful time..

take care
Patrice

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Patrice, thanks for the support; well, I am happy to report day 1 done and dusted......
Up today and happy to see a sunny day - I feel a bit like I have climbed my way out of a dark cave and found sunshine....
I will have the baby this afternoon again but will have to leave her with my daughters for a few hours as we have another meeting at the hospital with my dad....hoping to get some answers today about his sickness, treatment and when it gets started. He is very tired and gets a bit down....the waiting game is very trying...
Last night, I ended up spending 4 hours at another hospital as my sister's young girl had to be rushed up for an emergency meeting with a doc....again, all ok, but exhausted with it all.
I know I want to be there for people but it is getting too much - need to concentrate on my dad and my own children. My family have a habit of knocking my door as soon as something happens....sorry, just having a bit of a rant....
Going to go and do a bit of exercise now and get showered....get this day off to a good start.

[mauritiusdodo]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Daisy I don't know what to say :l so sorry for all the awful things you are having to deal with :l thanks for your email it means a lot, I hope you are ok x

[Wildflowers]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Dear Daisy,

I just wanted you to know that I've been keeping you & your loved ones in my daily prayers!!!.... Everything that you've been dealing with is horrific, tragic to say the least. I pray that you have a good support system, that you reach out & perhaps speak to a grief counselor if needed. So much all at once to bare!!!. Life can just be so unfair. Often there are no answers. These are the times to take good care of yourself, surround yourself with people you love & trust. Hold onto your faith no matter what it brings. I pray for strength & courage!....

Love, :h

Wildflowers :l:l:l

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Just a wee update. After many calls between myself and docs I eventually got my dads first treatment date moved from mid October to 17 September. He is in hospital and had his chemoembolization yesterday (chemo directly into liver tumours). They will keep him a few days to monitor him. He is in great form so we are happy - so far, so good.
Cancer has brought my family on a journey we did not expect. There are good and bad sides to everything in life - I have watched members of my family and friends and been amazed at qualities in some that I did not expect; others who I expected to be strong, have crumbled.
We are a big family who see ourselves as always griping about something or other and my mum and dad have always been twisting or sniping over the years - I am so happy to see us all come together and really feel and see the love my mum and dad really have for one another. We do not invite this disease into our lives, nor do we want it to stay, but I am so grateful for the gift we have recieved through that ..... it is such a comfort to see that we 'are' a family who love one another and when the going gets tough amazing things can happen......

[scottish lass]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Thanks for the update - I have been thinking of you. Well done for being an advocate for your father - and you sound so positive! Good Luck on your journey...

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Aw, Scottishlass; so happy to hear from you. I have been reading and see you've had a few struggles, but you know what? This too will pass.....divorce and all its wranglings tend to hold you in limbo. It will all come good - my divorce lasted a horrible 4 years and it was a shit time.
And, 2012 isn't over yet; I love that you just keep on keeping on - you will get where you want to be - your a determined oul spud!!
I have been keeping my head down and concentrating on the sober life I have built around me; where alcohol has lost it's space.....so I am happy to tell you that in a half hour I will be on 14 days AF!!!! Yes!!!
I had a lot of stuff going on and was afraid I couldn't get started again....I still don't feel confident enough to put it out there going by my past slips, but hey ho, here I go....
I have got back to my swimming as of last week; getting up early every morning and being productive as much as I can. I started my course last week which is 4 hours 2 nights a week; it looks like a lot of extra home-work will be involved. I am doing this with the hope of getting to University after 2 years - better late than never, I say. Also started a Calligraphy course which looks like I am going to enjoy.
My sleep patterns are something I have always felt were a contributor to my not getting sober; so I am making moves to make sure I get up early, do enough to tire myself daily....it appears to be working. After years of going to bed at anywhere up to 4am, I am finally getting myself a better routine and I honestly feel it is making a big difference. Instead of swimming midday or evening I am now able to do an 8am swim which in turn sets me off to a great start.
Okay, enough of me......is it obvious I haven't posted in a while?

[scottish lass]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Well done - you are great! 2 weeks will be wonderful and with all you have going on! Amazing. I will have 5 days today, if i get thru this evening, which I will.
The divorce etc is so horrible, I had my head stuck in the sand for so long and am left in such a huge financial mess - I have no choice but to get thru it, but holy moly!
You are really getting life in order - keeping busy and making good time routinues, it can only feel better. You are a great auld spud too:l
Checking in at work, I will be in touch later - I am also feeling positive, but the weekends have bitten me in the butt, so I will have to gear up for this weekend - maybe we can chat on here and you can remind me how well you are doing???
Take Care Daisy, you do me proud girl, hope you are proud of yourself too...

[Byrdlady]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Daisy, look at you!!! 2 weeks!! That is fantastic! Here are 2 full moons for you! :moon::moon: I am so happy that you are getting your head back. It is amazing how quickly your whole mood can turn around with just a few AF days under your belt. SL, good to see you...we will get you thru those weekends!! Stick close! Hugs to everyone today, stay strong, and don't give in no matter what and no matter who!! XXOO, B