Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Wildflowers, hope you are doing good. Thank you for your prayers and kind words.
Thanks Byrdie and Scotlass; Scotlass, you are doing great! Getting the first weekend is the toughest - I find changing your routine to make it more like a weekday is best.
You had your start day just before the weekend and I think that is always a great idea as your first one is out of the way, so we will be congratulating you on week one before the next one comes, won't we?!!!!
I have already declined dinner out on Friday night with my family; my brother is coming home tomorrow morning from Boston. It is a surprise for my dad. They are going to the Indian, which I love, but it is the only meal that I associate with wine therefore a no-no for me.
So let's stick together over the next few days and we can 'virtually' hold each others hand as we get to Happy Monday!
Picked my dad up from hospital this morning; by the time I got there he was packed and dressed ready to go. He is looking and feeling so good. Hard to believe how ill he really is. Nearly all the other men in the ward were really ill and yellow, God love them.
I think this is also playing a part in my quest for abstinence - how dare I do damage and risk my life and well-being when there are others who simply never had a choice....
Anyways, all good here; swim at 8am and full of energy all day.
Also back to taking all the supplements and vitamins - going the whole hog here!!!

[scottish lass]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Evening Bryd!
Daisy, glad your Dad was looking well, my father has survived prostrate cancer, and he hated his appointments for treatments as all the other men looked so sick, it was demoralising, but good for my Mum as she saw him looking good beside them all.
Indian - I love a good indian, I don't find nearly as good as I got when I was in Nottingham here in California. Yummy - i don't associate Indian food with wine thou - a beer or two, which I don't drink very much at all any more. Good for you recognising and removing the temptation!
You are right, I did drink Friday and not Sat/Sun - so I just have to get thru Friday!!! Yahoo!!
I totallu get what you are saying about the message to look after our health better when we see others fighting to live. There is a quote somewhere about what someone would give up to cure their cancer - and we struggle to stop killing our liver - irony!
Hope your swim was good - it is 8pm here, so settling down a bit.....witching hour closing and another notch in my belt...

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

How is your dad now? When cancer comes into your life, all of a sudden you start to hear who else has got it and I am amazed just how many there are.....I suppose our family have been fortunate not to have had to deal with something like this until now.
Getting ready now to go and see my wee brother (he's 38). He lives in Boston but hasn't seen my dad since he was diagnosed, so I think it will give him some peace of mind to see how well dad is doing.
I woke up this morning mad at myself, at my lack of willpower, that I had f**ked up again. I was going for an Indian, bought 2 bottles of red wine and a big bag of ice. Took me a minute or two to realise IT WAS A DREAM! Phew! I think it must have been in my head that this weekend, with my brother home, is going to be a temptation......I am on my guard!!!!

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

I decided to up my game a little; I am sober. I want to make the most of every day. Trying to do today rather than putting off til tomorrow. The result is that I am getting more done in one day than I would do in 1 to 2 weeks while drinking. It is shocking how much time I have wasted through drinking.
Everything is falling in to place. Getting up early to exercise, maintaining my house, inside and out, cooking, keeping family commitments and working on my course...
All of this stuff is not complete but I am taking small steps towards something which I previously looked upon as being 'too much'.
Sleep pattern is the best its been in years which going to bed exhausted plays a big part in...
Tomorrow, I am having a free day where I can do what I please.....might go for a swim or read or get my paints out....don't know yet but I do know I won't feel guilty like I used to because I have accomplished things this week....

[Wildflowers]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Hi Daisy,

Your fine plan is in place & is being executed!.... I love the fact that you are practicing Mindfullness too!... Recognizing when you do need a small break. This is self love, self care. Emotional Sobriety is a key component to lasting sobriety!!!..................................Part of a healthy & strong recovery plan!!!.................

You are also motivating me, showing strength even in the face of pain & adversity. Not easy at all! It's OK to rock back & fourth to. Staying sober during those wobbly times, will help so much!

I love the fact that I too am accomplishing far more then I have in a long time, because I'm sober!.... I'm also practicing setting up what's realistic for myself & not comparing, nor competing with others.

I'm feeling fortunate, blessed during this season in life. It's harvest time. Hard work, suffering's, faith, trust, tests, patience, tears. We are seeing light & peace. Yet, we know from life's long experiences, it can easily turn around. I hope & pray that when it does, we will trust & have faith to endure again.

I'm thankful prayers are being answered for you & your family!!! The way you all are bonding tightly together, for recognizing this deep love that your parents share. This is love, this is family, it's treasured, it's strong!... You will prevail!

I think it's no mistake that you & scottish lass have ea other & others here to hold hands with, making this sometimes very rough, mountain terrain easier to navigate. Hang on tight to ea others hands, feel ea others pain & draw strength, cause there's victory waiting on the other side.

Love, :h

Wildflowers :l

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Wildflowers, you have such a way with words! You had me tearing up there. I will use this post as my booster when I need a little bit of extra strength. Thank you so much.
We are all here to motivate one another and learn; as much as I do not want someone else to slip, it can be used as a warning for myself. I find inspiration from so many here through their failures and successes and pray we all get where we want to be.
At college this week, a teacher said something that really hit home for me - people who tend to be depressed live in the past (not letting go of regrets etc), those that are worriers live in the future and those that tend to be happiest live in the 'now'. I really thought about that and want to implement it into my life. I recognised that I was doing the others and not the 'now'.
Am I right that you are 4 months AF today?

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

OMG! Just 15 minutes ago was out cutting my hedges for Winter with an electric chainsaw......saw a spark....cut right through the cable!!!
I am in shock...imagine!!!!
Glad I was nearly done though, so off now with my saw and clippers.....

[Byrdlady]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Daisy!!! You're not supposed to do that!! Holy smokes! I hope you are ok! That sounds like just the sort of thing I used to do when I had a few under my belt! Yikes...the stupid things I did...BE CAREFUL out there!

WF, that really was a beautiful and thoughtful post. You just have a serinity about you that is so comforting.
SL, thinking of you and hoping that you are hanging strong.
I wish we all lived closer, I'd sign us up for a pottery class. Wouldn't that be a howl??? We could MAKE all our Christmas presents this year!
Daisy, are there any left handed Caligraphers? Wouldn't they smear the ink?? You must have a mighty steady hand ...I can't wait to hear how you do.
I had a dream last night and Robert Redford was in it!! We were at a Republican convention, of all things. Some girl went by drunk out of her mind, and I turned and said to him...'that stuff'll kill ya'. He said, "yep, it sure will". Imagine! I'm now having SOBER dreams! What a pleasant change!! Robert Redford was soooo handsome. It's a crying shame that I woke up before it got good....(story of my life).

Hope everyone is doing great today....may I hold onto your hands too, if you don't mind. Some days I struggle too...Love to all, Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Daisy, I notice you are a senior member now!!! Congrats!! B

[Mick]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Hi Daisy..keep your head up...no matter what..you are needed.take your time and think things through first...dead easy to say..bit harder to do,but try...thinking of you
Mick

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Hi Mick and Byrdie; well, I'm still standing....phew. Only realising what a close call I really had. I was saved by my welly-boots!!!
This is my second close call; almost choked to death a few years ago. Starting to think there is a definite plan for me on this earth so I intend to make the most of it.....
Byrdie, one of the ladies is left-handed and they talked about it in the class - apparently no problem, so seek out a class.
So sorry you woke up early from your dream - oooooh, the fun you cudda had......doesn't bear thinking about....
Mick, I am doing fine, apart from nearly writing myself off, that is! On day 17 now. Concentrating all my energy into my sober life leaving little time to think about the oul booze. Adopting the attitude of gratitude and not too bad so far; know from past experience to be on the ball though - those voices are never far away! How you doing?
/

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Byrdlady;1381547 wrote: Daisy, I notice you are a senior member now!!! Congrats!! B

Shucks, ta Byrdie; feel being a senior member that I should earn my place....mmmmm, work to do.....

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Well, after deciding to have a lazy weekend and not feel guilty, I ended up spending 2 days in my garden; scratched, blistered, sore and tired, but......feeling great!!!
My garden is all ready for the Winter weather. Had I been drinking, there is no way I would have been so well prepared. So a productive weekend after all....
Taking dad to hospital for another appointment tomorrow, then my class tomorrow night.
Reading around the different threads I see a lot of positivity which is so good. I find being positive, or negative tends to have a ripple effect, so it is nice to see how this MWO community is in a good place right now........

[Byrdlady]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Daisy, I'm so glad you got your garden in order. It seems that this is a trend as we get our intermal 'house' in order, so goes the other stuff around us. As if we are taking control of all the aspects of our lives instead of the other way around. It's a good feeling, whatever the motivation.

I think you are also right about the MWO community...it's a lot closer knit than I would have thought, when the whole of it is doing well...there's a feeling of contentment I have. It is great to see people taking back their lives, one at a time, one victory at a time...and yes, one day at a time.

I will be thinking of your family this week as you trudge off to drs appointments. Stay strong and you will be amazed at what you can handle. Hugs, Byrdie

[Kradle123]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Byrdlady;1381546 wrote: It's a crying shame that I woke up before it got good....(story of my life).

Byrdie! You did wake up- got sober- and Now it gets good

That's The Story of your life! IMO :h

Daisy Im sending you a pair of Manual Sheers...I'm glad you weren't hurt. That is scary. :l

Mick how do you animate yor Avatar? It's wonderful!