Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Shucks, thanks Byrdie! Taking it nice and easy.....

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Hi Daisy,

I just wanted to say congrats on the 30 days that have come and gone! I am back at Day 1. Your thread is very inspiring! I wish you the best. I have had a similiar history of getting sober for a few months and then giving it up...only to go back to the day to day grind of drinking that leaves me feeling like crap and ashamed. My life begins to revolve around drinking...no matter how hard I try to mod. I have to give it up for good, I know.

I just wanted to say hi and wish you well and let you know how inspiring you are.

Blessings,

BlondeAF

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Hi Blondeambition; well, better back to day 1 that not back at all, eh?! Hope you're still on board - I've been away for a while so haven't had time to read back.
Right back with you. Day 1 for me again today! Kick up the arse time again!
Was it worth it? NO! Was I happier? NO! Any blackouts? YES! Cancel any important dates? YES! Shame? YES! Regret? YES! Days wasted? YES! Moderately done? NO and NEVER! Same as every time I do it? YES, TOTALLY!
So, when am I going to get it into this nut that going back for a night is never going back for a night? It 'always' turns out the same - always!!!
I want this, so all I can do is keep on going and get smarter!!!

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Hi guys; I appear to have lost my way - yet again! I'm finding it hard to gather up the commitment for sticking with a good quit.
Have had a really tough couple of weeks, running to hospital daily with my dad. I have a few issues with family members not pulling their weight and unfortunately it doesn't look like things are going to change. I ended up mentally and physically exhausted.
Had to cancel my calligraphy class to do another hospital run last week. I texted my family to ask for help, but no go. Excuses, excuses, excuses...........some of us don't have the privilege of using them because we're too busy doing!
I have also got 2 assignments to do for next week. I think I just became overwhelmed. I know I can do it, but I feel I have lost something. Because I feel so annoyed with some family members, I find I am becoming a bit resentful and I don't like myself for it.
Sorry for having a moan; need to value myself and make my sobriety matter.

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

So here I go again!

[Byrdlady]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Off we go! I'm here with you, Missus Daisy!! XO, B

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Thanks Byrdie......gonna get stuck into those assignments today!
Did you have any problems with the storms?

[Byrdlady]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

No problems here....just a lot of work to bring things that might fly around into the garage. Any potted plant I care about had to be moved or it would be torched by the sandy/salty wind. My heart is bleeding for the folks still in the path...its exhausting and stressful. Thanks for asking! Hugs, B

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Glad to hear it Byrdie; I have a lot of relatives in New York - I hope it passes safely.

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Need help - back in that pointless, poisonous world! Feel so under pressure from all directions. The course I am doing is tough. What is going on with my dad and lack of help from my family is doing my head in. I want to do my calligraphy course and there are so many appointments, I just can't make it. The drama group I volunteered for last year rang me and want a backdrop for their show - in 4 weeks! My head is fried and I need help.....too much!

[scottish lass]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Hi Daisy, somehow I lost this thread and just found it - sorry to hear about your struggles to look after your Dad, that is sad that your family is leaving it up to you. How is he doing? I hope treatment is going well. I hope you do take some time for yourself, it is important to selfcare. Look after yourself OK????:l:l

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Thanks Scotlass; I think everything was piling up and I felt like I just had too much to deal with. After a lot of reading yesterday, I decided to get up today and start over. Not sure if I will be able to keep it all going but I sure want to give it my best before I do. Obviously drink was rearing its head an affecting my feelings. Alcohol brings so much negativity into my life. Everything changes. I need to make this stick and I need to do it now.
I do feel good today - a little lighter. I am going to the course tonight; I'll give it another while....the work is intense......spent 6 days last week at my kitchen table doing assignments and feeling stressed. So something may have to go but I want that to be an informed, clearheaded decision and not one where alcohol is clouding my thoughts and abilities......
So back to leaning heavily on you all while I get my shit together....

[scottish lass]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Daisy, we can all support each other - I have a lot going on persoannly and keep struggling with the need to make things better with wine - and only make them worse. Right now I have just managed a week, so really hoping I can keep this one going, but sit waiting to see what the world will throw at me next. We can be there for each other and try our hardest to offer the support that we each need and gentle reminders as to why we really want to get our shit together - hang in there, and it will come:l:l

[daisy45]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Hey Scotlass, with alcohol out of the equation, everything else will fall in to place. I will always be here when you need an ear. So glad you got a week. Well done!
Yesterday I thought I was falling apart; today I feel so much better. It wasn't just being AF for a day. I had to dig deep and change the direction my thoughts were taking me. I need to keep this up.

[scottish lass]

Reaching for the stars - after a good kick up the ****!!!

Well done Daisy - I sincerely believe that we drink due to a multitude of other things and unless we address the other things we will not manage to conquer the beast - so no wonder you felt better when you addressed your thoughts!