AF day Monday 6th August

[Mick]

Morning everybody....how are we all today then?up and raring to go?Got this funny feeling going to be one of those days..computer shut itself down for no reason, tried to restart it and it is running really slow!we shall see. Coffee and tea on the go...Olympic tea as well I hasten to add..saw some advertised Just normal tea in a fancy wrapper.Had a cup last night and to be honest, didn't exactly give me a life changing urge to do the 10,000 metres!!

Morning Sausage ..how are you today??I was born on the east coast, Dunfermline, but then we moved..you round that area or higher? Most of my family lived on the west coast,Glasgow,Ayr etc.What are you up to today?Take it that it is still the 6 week holidays?

Hi Lifechange, how are you today? grab a coffee.Glad you are feeling more positive.thats the thing about here..no one will crticise you for failing..as long as you put the effort in.we have all been there to some extent ,whether nictine or alcohol..me I stopped smoking the first time for 6 months then started..how mad is that.
Mind you..not so sure holding a dinner party in the early stages is that good an idea...Pretty much like Custer giving Winchesters to the Apaches!!just think..this time when we talk next week you will have over a week in.. go for it

Morning Satz.. how are you?yep its raining here too .You can tell its summer though..the rain is warm!!how is life treating you?anything exciting going on?

Good morning Lavande... Olympic tea for you or just a normal brew?Still suffering with the heat an humidity?whats the plan for the chickens?Thanks for putting me on your car list...sure we can sort something out.What are your plans for today?My list is made for this week, though pretty sure there will be a lot of deviation.,especially with the weather.

Hi the sunflower, how is your day/night depending on where you are?So you enjoyed that do without the aid of alc?Its amazing the number of places that do not serve alc and also the number of people that don't take it either.Is this a new thing, or a perspective I have never looked at before because was drinking.When I was younger, the big emphasis on wherever we went ,whatever we did, there had to be alcohol involved.But now that I am just over 21...ha ha ha, I realise it has minimal if any contribution to my life. Coffee time..and you??

Porquoi..aka known as the 60 day tracker......what are you doing to me??We have just started and you are trying to have me over!!I started on 4/7..so I reckon not including yesterday..5/8 I am on day 32..Did Itell you I was Scottish..might be a wee bit slow..but hey when it comes to being ripped off..on the ball :H:H:
Anyway how are you today?Start of a new week for you..Any shift in the legal wranglings due this week?Fingers crossed for you.
Hope your meeting went well.
By the way..anyone else in that 60 day area..please send your name to our head checker outer.

Morning Cantoo...well the name change is???Day 11 for you well done.I have just read the first post you put up.You would not think that it is the same person. Your attitude has really changed.Its good to reflect..and you think..how did I ever get into that position.ANyway well done you ..keep it up.enjoy your declutter.

Hi Kas, how are you this fine day?well you certainly shocked me with your opener..."I have an opinion on the matter"..thought to myself Kas an opinion..no never!!

Thanks for the comments on the garden..I would like to say I modeled it on myself on the points you mentioned..but thats a pile of crap and probably falls into the same category as your statement!!
How did the jazz fest go ?was it good. love the idea of going for a quiet paddle afterwards.
Was trying to figure out where I had read about going back on your old posts now I know, so Cantoo its down to Kas the last part of my message to you..

Good morning Dest..glad you went to the meeting and didnt spend your life outside collecting car numbers!!Maybe get some answers at today's meeting.. whatever works to beat the demon is worth doing..What is the chip angle??.Let us know how you get on Dest...thinking of you

Hi Milly 53 ..welcome..judging by what you are saying and Lavs comments bout welcome back..guess you have been here before?How are you doing ..welcome to the madhouse..baby steps Millie and lets see what your brain says.

Few people missing off this site at the moment..guess they must be busy.. that's the thing about giving up work..you think everyone else has too!!Probably work harder now than I ever did in a different kind of way.
Take care everybody..including those I havent put names to..have a great af day
Mick

[satz123]

AF day Monday 6th August

Mornin Mick and all to come.
Still in there Mick and swear I'm finding it quite easy - few twinges here and there - like it's a Bank holiday and have not been anywhere . Every thing revolves around al.
But I'm ok and very happy have dropped 2 kilo.
Do you think people have weakened and don't feel they can post here . That's why they are missing? Just makes sense?

[shueaddict]

AF day Monday 6th August

Good morning everyone,

This forum has always been about honesty so here I come … (grab a sandwich).

I did not drink while my Italian friend was here. I got Lav’s message while we were in a posh restaurant and I told her then and there I am no longer drinking because I feel that I can't always stop, I just like the stuff too much. (thanks Lav, that did feel liberating). I did not expect her to understand ( she did not, just looked at me with big bug eyes) but she respected my decision (and ordered a wine mini bottle).

After she left on Saturday afternoon I was clearing up and drinking Perrier – I saw leftovers in the wine bottle and poured it in my tall glass. I drank it and did not feel anything. But my mind has been in turmoil for the rest of the day:

No.1 – although it was a small amount it was sneaky drinking, I checked to see is if hubby was looking (not good – addict behavior).

No.2 – the whole last week I did not do enough to prevent this, I was not working on my sober “growth”. I neglected the exercise; after firing that woman on Tuesday I did nothing to alleviate my own stress; I did not make it to the church, like I planned. I let myself be controlled by events instead of controlling the circumstances and looking after my priorities. Complacency is not good.

I spent most of Sunday looking after myself, cooking for my men, getting into the right mindset that if I am to beat this I need to work harder at it. I need to work harder at bettering myself. So I started with proper rest and healthy eating (planned a detox for this week). Went for a long walk and a hike, these early AMs. At this point I feel that exercise is the best antidote (and best source of legal highs), I just need to make it a top priority.

I am still cheerfull and full of beans … after being mad with myself and spending quite a bit of time in introspection. I’ll just keeping doing what I do best – not give up. I really don’t think I am more intelligent than the average person but everything I have achieved so far has been the result of 2 things – hard work and the willingness to try another and another approach until I get it right.

Sorry for the me me me post …

[Mick]

AF day Monday 6th August

Hi Shue... where have you been? not know why but I had a wee feeling that all was not well with my mate in Shueland.Glad you are still full of beans though.Dont think its a case of bettering yourself..just my thoughts now..been there with that thinking before and I think you can do damage thinking like that. (lot of thinks in there!)You then become fixated with it to succeed at all costs and that's the bit..all costs.you need to be careful other things dont suffer and you lose objectivity.For my money just stick to your original plan and tinker with it to get to the bit where it went wrong, ie before you poured the remains into a glass why did you do it? did you need to etc.Again only my thoughts for what they are worth.
What you up to today? are you in busyland today at work?
Shue keep smiling..at best it will make you feel good..at worst everyone will wonder what you are up to :welcome:

Mick

[LillyE]

AF day Monday 6th August

Hi all,

Oh Shue :l Others may have other things to say but it doesn't sound like too much harm has been done because at least your thinking is on the right track and you're jumping quickly to correct where you think you went wrong. But I hope you haven't been beating yourself up too much. That was the first drink in... how long again? It can't not feel like a big deal but you can - and are - overcoming it.

I have had an old arm injury flare up and it hurts to type right when a new project that involves lots of typing has just started so I may be quiet and type-lite for a bit but I'll be reading along and with you in spirit.

Had some slippery thoughts myself this weekend post a birthday dinner at which I didn't drink but it felt hard. I had fun in the end but I hate how - currently at least - being AF makes those events feel like more of a trial than fun. And, sure, we can avoid some tempting Al situations but some we just can't and this was definitely one of those. Still, day 36 today.

Thanks Porquoi re the drink tracker - my quit date was July 2nd

Dest - good ON YOU re the AA meetings. I still haven't gotten up the guts to go. Keep going and keep us posted.

All else, sorry to fly in and out and not comment on other stuff going on but poor arm needs icing and rest.

Hope all is well in everyone else's worlds...

Lilly

[satz123]

AF day Monday 6th August

Hi Lily. We are the same in many ways. I agree it's a trial now to go to a wedding where the focus is drink. I'm in Ireland. I have one coming up and it's a 2 day one.
Mick et al - I NEED ADVICE

[shueaddict]

AF day Monday 6th August

Mick - you’re right on the money – trying to figure out what went on in my head before I poured the drink down my throat … Now I can see the build-up of the week ( heck .. .month probably) but not the 10 second during which all of this has happened. Last time I drank it was with hubby, about 2 months ago … for ole’s times sake, when we used to share a bottle and a laugh … I wanted to go back to that person again, the girl who did not need the whole bottle. Call it nostalgia. But now, I just don’t know. It all happened so quickly.

Lifechange – Since my home was my favorite bar, not keeping any vino in the house did the trick for me on many AF stretches. All the previous times I slipped, I slipped at home. It took a lot of posts from Pap, Mo3 and Kas to get it into me that having AL at hand is just too risky.

Lilly – I felt that if I don’t come here and readdress my plan the slip could easily turn into a relapse. Sorry to hear about your arm … as for parties and events –not every one of them is all that fun and a lot are boring anyway (regardless of whether you are a drinker or not); but now that you are not drinking you could be a better judge.

Satz – I have been married to an Irishman for 11 years now. I have yet to see a family event that did not involve AL (even bridge evenings for over 80’s when you’d think one would want their remaining wits about them). Apologies for the generalization, I don’t mean any disrespect, I love my family. But honestly, getting through an Irish wedding AF has got to be like winning the Olympic decathlon. You’d need to sprint, run, jump, hurdle, high jump, pole vault and kick the hell out of AL - left, right and centre … over and over again. What does your “coach” say?

[lifechange]

AF day Monday 6th August

hello abbers!!
i'm very late today so i know the coffee is cold--i brought along a liver detox tea.mmmmm!
Mick, i love reading your posts--thank you so much for always starting us off on the right foot in the morning. i'm selfishly glad that this is part of your work at the moment.

this will be a quickie as i have to pick the girls up from school--amazing how fast a 6 week (far too short IMO) summer break can pass.
Shue, i'm very happy to see you. i was missing having you here. i don't know what i can possibly say (seeing that i'm in the process of rethinking and replanning everything) except that i agree it's important to remember what was going on in your head those 10 seconds before you drank. for me exercise is also so important--i think for many. now i have, "vigorous exercise" going through my head like a mantra.

hi and hugs to Lilly!! don't let those slippery thoughts get the best of you! i think it would be great if you could somehow focus on getting to that next goal with as much power as you did working on getting to the 30 days. this is where that blind faith has to kick in again. it must get easier at some point. all the "old timers" say so. you are so busy with work, i know, but is there some other sort of goal that is very meaningful to you that you could work hard on getting closer to right now? i liked this article on the spiritual river site very much--i'm sure you've read it.--about how important it is to be growing and bettering our lives each and every day. i was definately lacking there.

[lifechange]

AF day Monday 6th August

hugs to you, too, Satz--you're doing so well! great going on losing the 2 kilos. have you been watching your nutrition and exercising, too? i can't remember. i don't know what to say about the wedding. scary!! i'm sure some great advice will be coming along, though!

see you all soon.
Life

[porqoui]

AF day Monday 6th August

Morning Mick, Shue, Satz, Lilly and Lifechange and of course all to come....

Sorry Mick, The Opening Balance has been corrected!

Legal issues back on the table this week. Only difference is I'm not going to let it consume my waking hours. Just taking it one day at a time.
Eye on the mend. Sight still pretty cloudy, like my brain.:H How's your T&T going?
Great meetining yesterday. Fewer people and one looking for a hand out. Good sob story though.

Satz whish I could give you great words of wisdom. In my case, weekend at the west coast, I just caved and went to the rodeo instead. A no show at the wedding may not be a choice for you. If I come across some coping stratedgy I'll pass it on.

Shue can totally relate. Especially the part why? It reminds me of me. I'm good during the crisis but tend to fall apart after it's over. Could be thinking a congrats drink for getting through whatever. How stinking thinking is that! Anyways I don't consider that a slip, maybe a hickup but you didn't actually fall down.

Lilly when I get those thoughts the first thing I conciously think is GOD'S TESTING ME! And since I hate failing it's enough to turn my thinking around. Chin up.

Other than a noon meeting I'm just going to enjoy my day off and putz.

Have a great AF Monday everyone. PQ

[Lavande]

AF day Monday 6th August

Good late morning Abbers!

90 humid degrees here already Mick so I'd say the weather still sucks :H
Hope you are in healing mode for your boo-boos.

Satz, nice on the weight loss
I was disappointed I didn't lose even a pound when I quit drinking. Then two months later I quit smoking & ending up gaining 13 pounds, yikes! I have all that worked off now but it has been a serious struggle. Must have something to do with my granny-like metabloism
About your upcoming two day wedding celebration -
I see two clear choices:
1. Choose to stay home
2. Go & choose to not drink
What do you think?

shue, great that you were honest with your friend! I believe in honesty - takes the pressure off....in the long run. Dumping the leftover wine down the drain instead of in your glass is all part of the learning process! You'll get there!

Lilly, sorry about your arm, hope you are feeling better very soon!
You know every time you resist those AL thoughts you are strengthening your 'No Thanks' muscles

Greetings Life & porqoui!

Positive thinking is like a coat of armor - keeps you in safe territory!
AL never has been & never will be a reward. It's toxic & poisonous to our bodies & our minds. What kind of reward strips you of your self-esteem, robs your soul & leaves you morally bankrupt, huh?

Have a great day kids!
Lav

[YoungAtHeart]

AF day Monday 6th August

Hi all; I'm an oldie but goodie, and I used to post a lot on this thread. I hope that I can get to know all of you better as I start again (sigh) with abstinence.

I'm on day 1 today, and I am going to hit an AA meeting this evening. I have very mixed feelings about AA. When it's good, it's great, but sometimes meetings leave me cold. At any rate, I am committing to going to at least 3 a week, and posting here daily, if you'll have me.

Despite an earlier period of 2 1/2 years of AF, I have been drinking off and on for the last 2 1/2 years, and it is scary to stop again. I have to remember how good I felt when I wasn't drinking, but the beast has a way of making you forget when you are in the throes of your addiction.

It seems that you are all quite committed to remaining AF, and that makes me happy.

I look forward to getting to know all of you better. :new:

[Lavande]

AF day Monday 6th August

Hello & welcome back YoungAtHeart!

Yes, we are all absolutely commited to remaining AF here & have a great group!
I hope your AA meeting is OK for you tonight.
Remaining absitinent has turned out to be a lot easier for me than trying to drink moderately. I failed & failed at that for years

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[porqoui]

AF day Monday 6th August

:welcome: Back.....YoungAtHeart.

Glad you're here. This is a great place, made this my "home thread".

See you on the wall. PQ

[Mick]

AF day Monday 6th August

Hi Satz if its advice about the wedding...then I am in the same boat as you...I go to a wedding Sept 2.. someone I worked with on and off for probably 32 years..so we need to gert our heads together!!.If you want pm me if it is anything else..

Hi young at heart..welcome to you..take it slowly and settle in

Mick