AF day Friday 10th August

[Doggygirl]

AF day Friday 10th August

Hi fABbies! It's been a long time since I've posted but I'm here and sober still. It's great to see both long timers and fresh faces still here going at our AFness one day at a time!

Lav - I love olympic gymnastics and many of the stories of the gymnasts started with "he/she was climbing all over everything....." maybe some tumbling tot lessons are in order????

This summer has not been a very nice one here is Doggyland. When school got out in late May I moved directly into spending lots of time with my Dad who continued to decline. He passed away on July 2. The last few years of his life were so filled with pain and misery. I wouldn't wish that way of going out of this life on anyone.

Mom is being a trooper getting through the adjustments in her life. There are things she needs help with and I am the nearby child, so helping her keeps me busy.

A couple weeks after the funeral I had some horrible oral surgery - the result of years of neglecting my teeth. Who wants to go to the dentist with alcohol breath, right??? Well, now I'm paying for it. I "get" to have the other half of my mouth done in December. I got the stitches out a few days ago and am starting to get back to normal.

It has been easy to fall into some "poor me" thinking through all of this, yet my life is so rich with blessings compared to so many. Continued AA participation has really helped me keep a better mindset about things through the rough patches. The good news? I haven't even considered having a drink through this whole summer. The thought doesn't even cross my mind. THAT is a blessing for sure.

I'm hoping to reconnect a little bit around here. MWO has been such an important part of my recovery and I miss all of you! (I believe in both addiction and recovery based on the known science of brain chemsitry, and based on the criteria for alcohol dependence as laid out in the DSM-IV, and based on the personal expeirences of many, many people who have suffered with addictions whether they ever found recovery or not, FWIW)

One thing is for sure....whatever this day brings I will NOT be drinking over it!

DG

[SAUSAGE]

AF day Friday 10th August

Hi everyone

Great to "see" you back here Doggygirl. You have certainly been through such a lot recently and I am so glad to read that you were not tempted to drink.

Today is day 169 . I'm going to make sure I post fairly regularly again as I've been having quite a few moderation thoughts and I know this is bad. I'm nearly at 6 months once again - see my signature for what happened after one drink at 8.5 months last time.

Today as per doctors instructions my thyroxine medication was doubled ( for those of you that dont know , I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism 2 weeks ago). I'm not yet really feeling that different, yet as obviously the medication hasnt really started to kick in - except feel starving all the time! - I have however lost 3 lbs in the last week or so though.

My 6 yr old son started karate tonight, I think he's going to really enjoy it.

That's all In Sausageland for now, have a great AF day / weekend everyone.

[Lavande]

AF day Friday 10th August

Lifechange, take great care to depart that party long before any problems arise

DG, so great to see you back!
I'm very sorry about your Dad but know that he is at peace now. & that's a blessing.
I hope your Mom is adjusting OK.
My monkey-like grandson Will could very well turn into an Olympian. He's a piece of work, really.
Hope you are able to stick around & keep us on the straight & narrow

Sausage, I can see my other grandson's interest in Karate growing. His mother has been in Karate classes for a while now & I'm fairly sure he will end up there too. Hope your son enjoys himself. Keep your focus now, you are doing great & there is no point in repeating past mistakes, right??
I'm not going to......been there & done that

[TheSunFlower]

AF day Friday 10th August

Super quick check in. Been extremely busy! Lots going on this weekend....Great to read everyone's posts!

[Doggygirl]

AF day Friday 10th August

Thanks for the welcome back!!

Sausage - congrats on 169! That is awesome! When I first sobered up I went AF 60 days, then celebrated with a drink. SURELY I could control it, right??? Like you, that one drink set the wheels in motion for a long and horrid relapse. My mind wanted to say "well, if it doesn't work out I will just quit again...just like I just quit. I can do that." The problem was that it was NOT as easy as it seemed it should be to get back on the wagon. Sounds like you've been down that road too. Let's neither of us go there again, K??? :l

Lav - it's amazing that the GKs are turning into little people now with their own interests, etc!!! (table climbing is an "interest" right?) How is YB these days? (you can ignore that if I shouldn't ask!)

Sugarcarbies are still kicking my ass just like AL used to. I am really determined to get off that bus. Which brings up.....food. I'm making a really good chicken recipe tonight - mustard lime chicken. Let me know if you want the recipe! I made it last week too. I HID the leftovers in the fridge. DH, who hates leftovers, dug around until he found them and ate the rest - didn't leave me a single bite. :b&d:

Time to go put it in the oven! One thing is for sure.... There might be some whine with this dinner but no wine.

DG

[greeneyes]

AF day Friday 10th August

Hidey ho! Logged in feeling like a stranger and lookie who's here! Hi DG!

I have to scan back, I have no idea what's happening with everybody.

All good in greenieland.

And YAH!! Good to see you gettin' yer game on!

Love to see all the new avvies! Yay busy thread!

I've got to run buy a b-day card & drop in the mail.

[LillyE]

AF day Friday 10th August

Hello fabbers!

DOGGY!!! - What a treat to see you here. You were the first person to welcome me (warmly) to MWO over a year ago and I am still so grateful to you for that. I might well not have stuck around were it not for your early posts. (It took me a whole YEAR to get to 30 days and tomorrow it'll be six weeks. Onward and upward.) I am so, so sorry to hear about your Dad and that it's been a rough patch but that is amazing, miraculous and inspiring that you haven't even thought of a drink through it all - that tells me you ARE recovered. I clearly remember when I went through a very stressful month about a year after I'd quit smoking. I only realized in hindsight that it hadn't even occurred to me - even fleetingly - to have a cigarette. it felt like SUCH a turning point. Remind me how long it's been for you now? Am I right in thinking a few years? 3 or 4? Anyway, I really look forward to seeing you here more.

Sausage, I am really worried for you. Please, please, please keep posting here every day if you can and reread your threads. You KNOW you don't want another year, two, three, god knows of drinking misery and that's right where "modding" will lead you. I know you know this but we can kick your arse if you need us to?

Life, oh, I just want to give you a hug. You poor thing. But hang in there, it WILL get better. I think I said already but I was soooo tired for a month or so and sleeping all the time but I'm leveling out now and sleeping so much better. I'm also relieved to hear that about the party - I thought you meant another party in your flat which just sounded like asking for trouble. Remember that you don't HAVE to go AT ALL if you don't want to (being antisocial? pfffttt? your sobriety is more important) and you can just make a quick appearance and escape. Have a back up plan if you can't face it. Somewhere else to go? A movie? In bed with a book? Or come on here and talk to us instead hang in there and stay AF ok? We've got your back.

Life, I have to admit that I'm actually not up on Aussie authors generally speaking. I can't remember if I've mentioned this but I'm actually from New Zealand so I didn't grow up here and, to be perfectly honest, some of the classic authors I've tried to read just don't speak to me, perhaps for that reason. But this guy is an amazing inspiring young author. (Wait, I just googled him and he's actually only a year younger than me, so not *that* young, but he looks really young in person - bastard - talented and genetically blessed He's best known for his incredible book, The Book Thief, which was an NYT bestseller: Markus Zusak - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

YahYah, I love that nickname. Makes me think of a beloved Polish grandmother. Don't ask me why?! The sad irony about planning a drink six weeks from now as a 'reward' for that six weeks is that you'd just be undoing all the fab benefits of six weeks AF for very little! Have you seen that 'Deprivation vs Gratitude' post in the Toolbox. Guitarista just reposted it on another thread causing me to read it yet again. Will repost again below just in case anyone hasn't read it already or needs a reminder.

Right, soooo much work to do... onto it...

[LillyE]

AF day Friday 10th August

For you YahYah...

Do You "Deserve" a Drink, Today?

I can't count the number of times I have seen someone come here and write a post in which s/he says that s/he has relapsed, or "slipped," because s/he had been doing well for a while, and decided that s/he "deserved" a drink.

And our alcoholic thinking does this to us. It totally bypasses the memory of the devastation, humiliation, and destruction that alcohol has brought into our lives, and it presents alcohol as a GOOD thing, a prize, a reward, something we want to give ourselves for a job well done.

I wrote a post a few days ago, about this way of thinking, but it was kind of buried in another thread. And I saw people talking about "deserving a drink," again today. What I wrote about was about changing our way of thinking from this self-destructive "Deprivation Mode" to a winning, successful, positive "Gratitude Mode." Here it is:

I don't think we can begin to truly grow into a successful, lifetime, AF plan until we have managed to make the shift in our thinking from the "Deprivation Mode" to the "Gratitude Mode."

In Deprivation Mode, we think alcohol is a good thing that we are being deprived of. We are sad, and grieve the loss of what had felt like a friend to us. We consider it a treat that we never get to give ourselves again. We are envious of others who "get to drink."

In Gratitude Mode, we recognize that alcohol is (for us, because of our brain structure, genetics, physiology, etc.) a toxin, a poison, something that nearly destroyed us. Mentally, physically, and spiritually. We recognize that we have the most amazing opportunity to rid ourselves of something that makes us very sick in all those ways. We recognize the craziness of voluntarily damaging our brains, minds, bodies, families, jobs, futures. We are really, really grateful for that opportunity, and we guard it and cultivate it carefully.

Most of us start a recovery program in deprivation mode. Some people stay there forever. Those people tend not to be able to create a consistently successful program, or life, of freedom from alcohol and its devastation. Some of us transition into gratitude mode.

For most of us, Gratitude Mode does not just happen all by itself. We have to make it happen. If we want to shift into gratitude mode, we learn to cultivate it. We cultivate it by being careful about our thoughts, and about what we notice. If we find ourselves thinking about how wonderful it would be to have a drink, we deliberately shift attention away from this train of thought, and we deliberately choose to think about how good it is to know we will never humiliate ourselves with alcohol again, never again have another horrible hangover, never disappoint our children again with the way we are when we get drunk. We notice alcohol advertising, pay attention to how it makes us feel, and detach from the message by noticing how distorted the message is.

That kind of thing is crucial. We literally can BUILD a new way of thinking and feeling about things. And I think that's something to be grateful for, in itself!

[Guitarista]

AF day Friday 10th August

Hi y'all!

Haven't been here for awhile. Saw Greenie post, and cause i haven't seen her for some time, jumped in. Glad too hear all's well Greenie! :h

Great to see you too DG! :h

All good here in G land.

And a big hello to Mick, and all the HOT chicks who make up this thread.

[YoungAtHeart]

AF day Friday 10th August

Hi Greenie and DoggyGirl! So nice to see you here! It's good to have a busy thread.

I had some drinking thoughts today, it's being Friday and not really feeling like doing much. So I read for a while and then went out to Costco to get some stuff I needed. Now I'm safely home with my iced tea and will probably have an early bedtime.

I so appreciate all your support!

:l

[YoungAtHeart]

AF day Friday 10th August

Wow, Lily, THANKS! I do need to cultivate an attitude of gratitude! It is very easy for me to feel deprived at this point, so your post is very helpful!

Also, hello Guitarista.

Have a wonderful night!

[Lavande]

AF day Friday 10th August

I didn't know it was Homecoming Day today!!!!
Appearances by DG & Greenie :yay:

DG, you asked about YB ~ well he finally let his Doc put him on Cymbalta. I think his head is slowly but surely being expelled from his ass. Pardon me if I offend anyone but the truth is the truth :H
He's been on it about 2 months now, results are pending!!!! The grandkids are definitely showing individual talents & interests. I just signed another 1 year contract for Curves.......gonna need all the energy I can muster.

Greenie, glad you are back in one piece

YahYah, how far south in MD are you? Maybe I can interest you in some coffee & chicken chat? :H
Gratitude is what got me here in the first place. The arrival of my first grandchild made me see that I just had to give up the wine once & for all. Here's a place with some great reading:
The ToDo Institute: Mindfulness, Procrastination, and Gratitude using Morita and Naikan Therapies

Lilly, wishing you a happy 6 week AF anni - good job!

G, glad you popped in today as well!!

[LillyE]

AF day Friday 10th August

How exciting, it's just all going on around here. Good to see you back Greenie. Come on and join the party those of you who've been a bit quiet of late - there seems to be a crowd gathering.

Thanks Lav, on the congrats on six weeks (tomorrow) Whoo! I'm going next for 60 days, 90 days, 100 days. Not sure what I'll do to celebrate 100 days but something special. A bit at a time...

I was feeling flat after *finally* reaching 30 but I think I'm getting my Al-arse-kicking mojo back - thanks in large part to the good folks around here.