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**retteacher** · August 14, 2012, 08:49 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 13 -16

Last night's meeting was a fifty-second anniversary meeting. One of the speakers was a older guy who had 52 years of sobriety. He really spoke from the heart. Great time. Mary

**cpn1004** · August 15, 2012, 10:24 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 13 -16

52 years, wow, that is incredible. That guy missed out on light beer.....oh well.
Hope you all are having a good week. I'm home this week so I get to attend the 630am group. Wonderful way for me to start my day.

**GinaCA** · August 15, 2012, 11:29 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 13 -16

Hi there, my way outters! My name is Gina, and I was on board here from Nov 2005 til some time in 2007. I really like that there is now an AA section on here as AA is what finally got me sober (along with a few consequences that were LONG overdue!)

I wasn't able to piece together any time beyond 5 months on my own efforts, but usually just a week or so. I would buy into the lie, once again, and didn't have a program to free me of the restless, irritable, discontent feelings that would over and over again return to haunt me. I started here in 2005 after a "drunk in public" arrest at a bar, which scared the hell out of me because any arrest can affect my nursing license. I was fortunate that the charges were dropped, but not really, as it kept me out there much too long. Maybe that was God's plan...he knows how stubborn I am and how I need to exhaust everything imaginable and beyond to stop drinking....all the things in Chapter 3...yeah, done them all! This time I was arrested Nov 9th, 2011 for a DUI. I was turning into my neighborhood, steps from my house and nearly hit a car pulling out of the neighborhood. She could tell I was plastered and called 911. (Imagine that? I couldn't have looked that drunk eating a McD's ice cream cone, wearing an unbutton coat without anything underneath and no shoes or socks on....what's wrong with that picture?) Thank GOD I didn't hurt her. That is where my disease was headed for sure!! I did not even remember going out for ice cream that night. I had taken a shower and gotten ready for bed! I had been out drinking earlier with a friend, and called my husband for a ride home! I was arrested with a bac of 0.22% by breath and 0.19% by blood, and subsequently sent to a psych ward because I verbally expressed thoughts of suicide due to knowing what impact it would have on my career. I got a letter from the state nursing board basically saying "we know". I had to choose between a diversion program, or try for probation, which isn't much better as it stays on your record forever, and requires an investion by the Attorney General costing tens of thousands of dollars! I chose diversion which forced me to quit my job, but truly saved my life. I cannot work again until the program sees me as fit, usually about 2 years, but will be in the program for at least 3 years for monitoring. I went, and am still in an outpatient program since 5 days after the arrest, go to AA mtgs at least once/day, pills anonymous once/wk, nurse support group once/wk, aftercare program once/wk, and have random urine drug tests 2-4 times/month, all paid for by me. But, I am alive. I was completely dead and miserable inside before all this happened. True joy is returning in my life, despite all the financial insecurity, etc..and that is a miracle! I truly thought AA would NEVER work for me as I had been there, done that, but never worked the steps beyond step 3 because I didn't "buy" it, and thought it was "too much work"...crazy! Anyways, enough about me. Great to see how well you are all doing and will definitely look forward to reading the wisdom that is shared here! Gina

**retteacher** · August 15, 2012, 06:05 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 13 -16

Gina: What an incredible story! I too didn't want AA but a truly disgusting drunk landed me in the hosp. My loved ones, daughter, SIL, & husb were humiliated by my behavior. That was it! On March 23, 2009, I took my last drink. I couldn't be happier. Has life been completely smooth in sobriety? Of course not! Life has a way of throwing curve balls, but at least now I'm learning how to deal. Please feel free to come here & share. There's often a lively discussion. This is another way to stay sober. Mary

**cpn1004** · August 15, 2012, 09:58 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 13 -16

Wow, great posts today. Thanks to you all who keep this going.

**GinaCA** · August 16, 2012, 08:04 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 13 -16

Thanks, Mary. Yes, I think MWO will be helpful to me because so many times I am at home alone and really need an outlet when my head goes to that bad place. I still tend to isolate at times, and I know where that can take me.

I found a website that has about 6 or 7 daily meditations that I really like, recoveryreadings.com. I try to remember to start my day with them as they really do help and relieve the anxiety that creeps into my head.

Tomorrow I have to give a deposition for a lawsuit against the hospital I used to work for. I was one of the nurses who took care of the patient. The attorney said I wasn't one of the ones who did anything wrong, but the patient still seems to be targeting all of us in general. He thinks it may go to trial. I have never been in this situation in my 23 years of nursing! I am extremely nervous about this, and for the first time since I became sober am having serious Xanax fantasies. It's challenges like this that truly test my sobriety, as I haven't had to face any adversity thus far. I am in the early stages of learning to live life on life's terms. I am blessed with a very patient, supportive, loving and sober husband. My 3 boys, ages 18, 17, and 11....the same.

I have my regular women's 12x12 today that I look forward to the most. It's usually a small mtg...7 or 8 of us, but 4 of the women have 24 years plus. There is one lady whom I just adore, who has 38 years. She got sober in her mid forties like me. These women give me SO much hope! I love the wisdom they share about their program and their solution.

Thanks for being here, peeps! I look fwd to getting to know each of you. I am glad there are so many ways to make this journey a little easier! Have a wonderful day!!

**retteacher** · August 16, 2012, 09:15 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 13 -16

Gina: My biggest challenge has been living life on life's terms...not drinking through the downs of life. Once I get through situations, I have a huge feeling of accomplishment.

My husb too is very supportive. He often comes w/me to AA meetings & learns about this disease.

Mary

**GinaCA** · August 16, 2012, 09:47 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 13 -16

Wow! It's interesting to look back on old posts. I actually came here initially back in 2005, not 2006 as I previously stated. I wish I still had the same user name as I did back then because there are only a few posts left that I posted when I made a brief appearance back in 2007 and assumed a new name. It tells me I really need to keep up on the journaling, so one day I can look back and, hopefully, see how much I have grown.

**GinaCA** · August 16, 2012, 10:05 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 13 -16

Phil...I kinda remember you from my lurking periods and when I participated in the daily drink count section. Your drink talllies were always quite impressive and very honest

. You are certainly a miracle of the program, and I am very happy you are doing so well!!

**Doggygirl** · August 16, 2012, 04:54 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 13 -16

Hi all! Thanks Mary for keeping this fabulous weekly thread going!! I was going to say " and here we are on a new week..." but it's almost Friday. :egad: Where does the time go?

Mary - I am so happy that your son has found recovery.

Phil - good to see you as always. Are you saving up for Atlanta??? (same question to Mary and all others who post on this thread!! Less than 3 years to save!!)

Gina - Welcome! I first came to MWO in 2007 - my original quit date was July 11 2007. That was the start of 60 AF days (in a row - shocker!!). Then came the "I can have just one.." relapse and rough road to follow. Anyway...the good thing is that no matter where any of us have been in the grip of AL, here we are today sane and sober. What a blessing! Good luck with the deposition.

I'm working on another volunteer coordinating project for an upcoming local "Rally 'Round Recovery." The event is hosted by a coalition of treatment providers. It's a family fun day in one of the big local parks. One of my AA friends is the emcee - he's very funny. Last year that had a guy there with a HUGE crocodile putting on a show and giving croc rides too the kids. :egad: I will have class that morning but another AA friend is going to check in the volunteers since I can't be there. I love getting involved in all this recovery stuff. I recruit lots of volunteers from AA and also from one of the local treatment centers - clients who want to get involved in the positive side of recovery.

There is SO MUCH good stuff to do in this life. Why did I hide in my room with my bottle wanting to kill myself???

DG

**cpn1004** · August 16, 2012, 06:50 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 13 -16

Gina,
Yeah that drink tracker thing is quite a story. It is embarrassing to think about that now. Imagine drinking 12 Cokes a day. That would be crazy, right? But drinking 12 beers a day was no big deal to me. Now that is the insanity that we talk about in AA. And you wanna know some more....I built spreadsheets in Excel for my drinking record (I'm an engineer and maybe a little bit of a nerd). My AA friends laugh out loud when I discuss the "graphs" of my drinking. No.....I didn't have a problem.....so happy I can laugh about now.

**Doggygirl** · August 16, 2012, 07:03 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 13 -16

Phil, I liked the finest wines available in a box. A BIG box. That way I couldn't tell if I was drinking 12 wines or not. Actually, *I* knew but thought nobody else (aka husband) would know. :H:H Insanity Indeed.

Have you seen this months Grapevine? It just came in the mail today so I haven't had much of a chance to read it. It should be good though - it's the HUMOR ISSUE!!!!

Phil thanks for the walk down memory lane! It's grand we don't have to live that way any more.

DG

**TheSunFlower** · August 16, 2012, 07:53 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 13 -16

Phil I am glad that your drink tracker graph has flat lined

I have not been able to get to very many meetings this week and missed my favorite tonight. I have been so busy at work....and some might say I was putting work in front of sobriety. But, the truth is...if I did not get this stuff done....I would be irritable and discontent.
I love my job and when I was drinking....it bothered the hell out of me that I was not putting my best foot forward.

Some weeks I make 9-10 meetings. So when I say I am light on meetings....I've been to 3 and I've been able to read and get deeper into my recovery books.

Mary...so cool that your son is in recovery too.

Welcome back Gina!

**GinaCA** · August 16, 2012, 07:55 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 13 -16

Phew, I'm glad you took my mentioning that little bit of info in a good way, Phil!

I would only post on the tracker if I could honestly post a zero because I really had no clue how much I was drinking on most days! I would dilute my "two buck Chuck" (Charles Shaw chardonnay from Trader Joe's) with 2/3 water and drink it all day long sometimes....so usually between 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 bottles/day. I thought it was ok because I was keeping myself very well hydrated, and pleasantly numb (until the middle of the night hit and started to detox!).

That's funny stuff about the spreadsheets!

My son is starting engineering school next month.

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