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    AF day Tuesday 28th August

    morning everybody.....how are we all today?start of the normal working week over here today.Weather over here was pretty poor yesterday..sure Britain sunk about 3 inches!!
    Yesterday was probably one of the hardest af days I have done for some reason...dont know why, but Ihad this urge to drink.I can only think it was because of the weather I didnt get done what I wanted to do and turned into a major stress head.Even thought about jumping in the car and nippping to the off licence.Did everything that I put into my plan , but still..so it shows some flaws there.In the end it was like an internal fight between 2 factions,took probably about an hour to calm down...couple of points did arise which are interesting, firstly you have to slow everything down,and dissecting it all later, I remember thinking just have one, no one will know,and something else saying you are actually being dishonest with yourself and that is what this was about.The other thing was going through my mind was..how could I come on here and tell everyone,or go on here worse still having a drink and not telling anyone?Do not underestimate the power of this forum..use it to your advantage.Bottom line is I didnt drink,but found it hard for about one intense hour, so you all subconsciously helped :thanks:

    Right lets get the tea and coffee on..who is for a brew? I am

    Good morning Lilly E...how are you today???Pretty close to the big 60 mark now..me I was pretty close to start again time but thankfully didnt happen..need to work out why aand what to do about it though.Not too keen on chai...had some in India when I was in Delhi..massala flavour and I remember thinking, why am I drinking a curry?As for buying something yep got my eye on a couple of things..dvd/tv combi wall mounted in my spare room to watch when I am on the treadmill,and also a bike..so we shall see.dont have to get my hair cut..nature helps out..I just shave the rest!!

    Morning big G..you ok..thats 2 of you on together now you and Lilly..must be wide awake time down under

    SF..great to see you.Glad you are coming back round to us.have a brew with me (my number 2)and have a great day.re pm you are welcome.

    TDN..Good morning to you..how was your day off yesterday ?recouping energy?hmm sounds like your child watching was a bit of a trauma!lot to be said for looking after them..and then being able to give them back!!!Talking about nappies..my daughter who is in her last part of midwifery, asked me to show her how to fold up a towelling nappy with the pin..(in before disposable nappies)Jeez did that make me feel old!!fortunately I still could after 20 odd years!!now that is sad.
    Hope your legal wrangles take on a positive note for you..fingers crossed on that one for you.

    PPQ..how are you today?didnt sound like you were too enthrallled with your meeting yesterday!!!have a great smiley day

    Good morning Lav..and how are things in your household today?Take it you are up and running about already?Was thinking about you yesterday..dont take this the wrong way.there was a programme on the radio I was listening to..all about the hippies and children of the hippies..Think it was sparked off by the death of Scott Mckenzie, but then it was all about the 60s.Woodstock, the drafts to Vietnam, the protests in London,then on to the CND and the peace camps at Greenham common.in the late 70s,early 80s..(I was there as a soldier)Finished off wit the hippie national anthem...blowin in the wind..Do you remember any of this or am I mad? as I say dont know why your name sprung into my head!!Have a coffee!!

    YAH..good morning to you ..how are things with you today?hey did I tell you..my head is shaved? :H Aint getting into a major discussion over thongs..dont wear them, but reckon as a woman you need to have the bum cheeks and figure to carry wearing one ..otherwise guess it would look and feel like John Waynes saddlebags on a horse!! :H
    Where are you going on your holiday?hope you enjoy it.


    Morning turnagain..you ok..had to read your post couple of times..quite deep but interesting..So you and apple are coming to the end of the line?Maybe apple will up their game after the Samsung payoff!!a mere billion in compensation..not bad eh?

    Cantoo..how are you today? nice photo.Which one is yours?Like you,I found the copy and paste trick which I now use all the time...that is after losing a zillion posts and nearly having to get the window repaired which would be quite expensive after looking at it lovingly with laptop in hand!!!:H:

    Right folks thats me..off to do some gardening surgery.Take care all have a great af day..

    Mick
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 12

    #2
    AF day Tuesday 28th August

    Good morning, Mick! Good morning all Abbers to come!
    Thanks for the coffee, Mick! Mine is extra strong today. Didn't sleep really well, and was up at 5:30. But did get to sleep by 10:00.
    I had a good session with the counselor yesterday, but have to find out from court for first DUI exactly what I need to complete--counselor saw that it was recommended that I have six AF months before getting my license back and complete counseling. I will not go back to the other counselor--even the current one knows her and I can tell she has a poor opinion of her. But she thinks I need to get three letters notorized--from people who can say I had six months AF. UGH! I'll sort it all out. We did talk about my childhood, etc. and it brought back some sad memories. She also sees that I am a perfectionist and need to start giing myself permisssion to do things less than perfectly. I already knew that, of course. And when I was back home, in the afternoon, I felt like you did, Mick. Really started thinking about a drink for the first time in almost three weeks. Had to think of what got me into my whole legal mess and even then, it was hard for a while. Also have to stay AF in preparation for Bud's passing, which is inevitable and will send Mr TDN into a depression. And second dog could also go at any time. Drinking would only make it worse, but the desire to drink was sure strong yesterday!
    G-Man, forgot to say "hi" to you yesterday. Always good to see you and your purple thong:H Mr TDN has a pink thong that the girls at the gym gave him as a joke last winter. Too funny!!
    PQ--how are you today?
    SF--hope things are okay there. Lots to deal with. Will try to find the post on money. My drinking has cost me LOTS of money and more to come, sadly.
    Lilly--that modders thing has gotten out of control, and there have been some downright mean posts. Hopefully, it will end soon. Awful mess. Two more days--well, less with your time there, I guess--for 60 days. We'll be here to celebrate!!
    Turn, great post yesterday.
    Yah, Yah--road trip sounds good! Where will you be going?
    Lav, CanToo, Shue, Kas, and everybody else--hope you all have a good AF day!
    Just ordered DRY. Think some of you have read it? Will check out the book recommendations thread. Am now reading ACT ONE by Moss Hart, recommended by a friend, and am loving it! Nothing to do with drinking, but so ery interesting ans well written.
    Okay--rain seems to be letting up, so may get my walk in before heading to work later this a.m.
    :lTDN
    "One day at a time."

    Comment


      #3
      AF day Tuesday 28th August

      Morning Mick!

      Let me be the first to congratulate you on staying strong and on coming here and being completely honest with both us and yourself. That is huge. Don't beat yourself up for the feelings - they are NORMAL - and you didn't cave, which is AWESOME!

      Look, for all the benefits of being AF, the plain truth is that sometimes it is just HARD and sometimes it even SUCKS, particularly for those of us still early on in the game. And while 60 days is great, it's still early days, right? Accept that you are going to have those moments/hours/days but it will get easier in time, as is clear from the wonderful posts of people like Turn who are longterm Al free. If this were easy for us we wouldn't be here, as we wouldn't have a real problem with alcohol.

      I was where you were at on Saturday night. Despite seeing people behaving like complete twats at a bar I still felt edgy all evening long and the little voices were asking me 'why are you doing this again?' And I have been grumpy as fuck lately on and off, which isn't like me, and a bit depressed and anxious too - weaning off the ADs is taking its toll - but, hey, I figure it's all just part of the process of adjustment and it'll even out. So I'm trying to focus on the positives.

      So, reread that list of yours. Hell, print it on a poster and memorize it while you're on that treadmill if you have to. You know why you're doing this. And learning your triggers is a huge part of it too. So obviously in this case the trigger was stress, right? Anything else? So, next time you're stressed maybe you'll be that little bit more prepared for the craving? I also think, if you are feeling vulnerable, be extra nice to yourself right now - eat well, get lots of sleep, reduce stress where you can, take the pressure off yourself a bit.

      Also, your comment about the chai made me laugh. Thankfully my chai tastes not at all like curry and it is very yummy. I have become addicted to different types of tea since going al free (licorice-pepperment in my cup tonight). Gotta have something more interesting to drink than the eternal soda water and lime and I'm not a fan of soft drinks. (Waste of calories if you ask me, I'd much rather have chocolate.)

      Day 58! (Or is it 59 already for you?) We are doing so well. I booked my special Day 60 haircut today for Saturday, the 1st day of spring here - whoo! I like your ideas. Something that is also good for you because it will encourage more exercise is a smart plan.

      CanToo and TDN, I had to bite my tongue from saying any more on that mod thread and decided to just leave it, as it was getting out of hand. I cannot believe people here who make nasty personal attacks on others (firstly, just grow up and also… really?) and there was indeed a little too much defensiveness on the behalf of one party in my opinion. All-in-all though I thought it prudent just to drop it. People have strong feelings on the topic here for obvious reasons but I don't get why it has to degenerate into some weird 'us vs them' competition and petty in-fighting. Sad.

      I REALLY hope my AA comments wouldn't dissuade anyone from discussing AA here though! That was not my intent at all. I really want to hear how Life and Guitarista are finding it - all good I hope! And I've been listening to AA podcasts. Will check out what Mary has to say, thanks Sunflower.

      TDN
      , I just saw your post. I'm so sorry to hear you've had a bit of a struggle yesterday too - something in the air? - but like Mick you should be really proud of yourself for getting past in AF! You are doing so well. I loved Dry! And funny you should mention as I'm just now reading his new book, "This is How" which he calls an 'anti-self-help self-help book'. It's a bit mixed - like some chapters a lot more than others - and I don't agree with him on everything - but some bits of it have really hit home with me and made me think. He's a smart guy, also very funny.

      Yay all of us!

      Love,

      Lilly, worshipper at the Church of the Purple Underpants on the Cranium

      Comment


        #4
        AF day Tuesday 28th August

        Comment


          #5
          AF day Tuesday 28th August

          Good morning Abbers!

          Is that a self portrait Lilly? Love it :H

          Greetings Mick!
          Having a drinking thought, a smoking thought a whatever thought is completely normal. You managed yourself very well yesterday, be proud
          At this point, when one of those unwanted thoughts enter my consciousness I immediately repeat my mantra "i don't do that anymore, I don't do that anymore' & the thought soon leaves. Practice makes perfect
          It's funny that my 'hippiness' is still with me & can be detected thru the internet :H
          I am what I am & I'm happy with myself! I was still in high school when my brother was drafted & sent to Vietnam, such a stressful time. It really made a huge impression on me & influenced my thinking about everything. I was a bit too young to go to Woodstock but boy was I aware of the whole thing happening!

          Greetings TDN! I hope the counselor can help you sort thru everything! Just keep your eye on the goal of getting your license back

          Well, no child care for me today but I will be having a visit with my daughter & grandaughter. I'm making black bean burgers for lunch ~ how's that for a hippy lunch? :H

          Have a great AF Tuesday everyone!
          Lav
          AF since 03/26/09
          NF since 05/19/09
          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

          Comment


            #6
            AF day Tuesday 28th August

            Good Morning Mick, TDN, Lil, Lav and all to follow. Dog Duties done. Boy I never thought I would hear myself say Can't wait to get back to my couch at home. But you know what they say, home is where the heart is.
            Mick So glad you were able to work through those feelings. You are my rock. :goodjob:
            TDN Doing great. Looking forward to my old routine. My routines are like Mick's lists. Glad to hear this councelor is a step up from the last one. Hope you get all the #$*)@%( worked out soon. Glad to hear you've booked the 60 Day Doo.
            Lil
            Sounds like a soap opera on the Mod thread. Might have to go check it out.
            Lav
            Had to go back and check out Lil's avitar. I had to laugh too. I liked what you said "I am what I am & I'm happy with myself" That's the way I've been feeling lately. Isn't it great?
            Check in over onward to my day. Have a great AF one everyone. :HPQ

            Comment


              #7
              AF day Tuesday 28th August

              Morning all!

              Thanks for the coffee, Mick! So sorry you had to go through a difficult time yesterday, but I agree that you handled it well. I'm glad that thoughts of us helped you. It's hard when we can't do what we want to do. What has helped me is having a good book and/or a craft/sewing project that I can work on when I can't (or don't want to) work on what I should be. At any rate, good job!

              As for thongs, I hate the damn things, and I certainly don't have a hard body to rock one, either!

              TDN, I'm glad you had a good session with your counselor yesterday. Sounds like what you have to go through is a pain in the ass, but you will deal with it and be better for it. I am so fortunate that I have never gotten a DUI. I certainly have deserved it, many times, in the past.

              Lilly, I hope your mood improves. It is hard to get off the anti-depressants. Keep up the good work!

              Lavande, I am an aging hippie, myself. Thankfully, too young to have gone to Woodstock as well, since goodness knows what trouble I would have gotten into there! We must be similar in ages. I'm 56.

              I hope you have a great day, Porquoi, now that your doggie duties are finished.

              I had a freaking drinking dream last night. I was so happy to wake up and know it was just a dream! I was back in my hometown in New York with friends and my sisters, and there was also a fire, but I couldn't get it together to call 911. Yuck, what a dream! I think I need to spend sometime on my own toolbox, as I believe that even though it was just a dream, it means that the urge to drink is in there somewhere.

              As far as my road trip is concerned, my sister is flying down to Maryland from New York, and then we are taking off down to Charlotte, NC and on to Savannah. My sister is thinking she wants to move to Charlotte in a year or two, and she wants to scope it out. We will be back here then for a few days, and we will go tubing and to the county fair for a day. We will have a good time together, and I am so happy that she wants to be AF with me.

              Anyway, that's all folks! Have a great day!

              Hugs,
              YahYah
              AF as of August 5th, 2012

              Comment


                #8
                AF day Tuesday 28th August

                Morning all!

                I think I need to come here and start posting again. Been having nasty thoughts - although I HUGELY know of the consequences of those actions.

                I have been to the mainland for a month today. I am now about to go for my second interview for employment since being here! Talk about the land of opportunity! My old town had nothing to offer in means of sustainable employment. Now that I am feeling better.

                So, I am about to head out to a small Animal Hospital for a job as a Vet's assistant. Soooooo excited! I am hoping all of the volunteer work I did with the SPCA will give me a leading edge for the job. Nerves are getting the better of me because I want this job so bad. My last interview was at the hospital here; although I was offered the job - to start mid September.... I am NOT excited one bit! It is definitely a rewarding opportunity, but I so want to work with the animals!

                Anyway, I should run. Just had to get it out there to calm myself down a bit. If I don't get it, I will still not drink!!!!!

                Lots of love! xo

                Comment


                  #9
                  AF day Tuesday 28th August

                  Hello Fabber Abbers Near and Far!!

                  It has been a long time since I have posted on this thread. It has been a very busy summer and I have found myself drifting away from this wonderful forum. It is great to see so many new folks here who are in the alcohol free groove. Hoorah for you!

                  I would like to share an incident that happened to me last week while on vacation. I was camping with family and friends and we all were all drinking out of opaque plastic cups. Well, instead of picking up my lemonade, I picked up someone's cup of wine and took a large gulp. I was in a complete PANIC after it happened since no alcohol has crossed my lips in over 4 years. The good news is, it tasted like rotten vinegar to me. Blech!!! And, white wine used to be my drink of choice. The scary part is that I woke up the next morning with that very familiar anxious and jittery feeling I used to get after a night of heavy drinking. It was pretty scary but at the same time I am grateful that I felt that way.

                  The experience has not triggered any desire to drink on my part but it is a huge WAKE UP CALL for me to not let my guard down and be extra careful.

                  So AFM, I'm with you. I need to be around here more!!

                  :h
                  M3
                  AF Since April 20, 2008
                  4 Years!!!
                  :lilheart:

                  Comment


                    #10
                    AF day Tuesday 28th August

                    hi abbers!
                    i apologize for being absent the past few days. i have way too much on my plate at the moment!
                    am off tomorrow for the 10 day retreat so i'll not be able to be in touch. but i wish you all strength these next 2 weeks-- i'll be thinking of you all, though i'm sure i'll be told to empty my mind!!
                    xoxo, Life

                    Comment


                      #11
                      AF day Tuesday 28th August

                      Have a good time, lifechange!

                      AFM and Mom of 3, it is so good to see you here!

                      All the best....
                      AF as of August 5th, 2012

                      Comment


                        #12
                        AF day Tuesday 28th August

                        Wow,
                        I was just thinking about you today AFM & glad you are OK, You too M3
                        I hope you get the job you really want AFM but any job in this day & age will do, right?
                        Accidently grabbing the wrong cup would freak me out too M3. No AL has passed these lips in 3 1/2 years

                        YahYah, even though we are all 29 on this thread my year of birth ends in 53 :H
                        I hope your trip with your sister is fantastic!

                        porqoui, the only one who stirs up bad feelings in me anymore is my spouse who no longer chooses to live here with me ~ just as well, huh?

                        Life, I hope your reatreat is awesome, can't wait to hear all about it!

                        I had a great visit with my daughter & grandaughter today. We went to a plant farm & I came home with my car trunk full of ornamental cabbages & kale, some pretty mums, etc to spiff up my gardens for the Fall season.

                        Hope everyone is having a good night!
                        AF since 03/26/09
                        NF since 05/19/09
                        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                        Comment


                          #13
                          AF day Tuesday 28th August

                          Morning all'

                          Now can everyone please take a moment to just admire my underpants, as I really need to take them off my head soon because I'd like to post in other threads and people may not get the joke.

                          Welcome Accountable! Glad you're back. Sounds like you've been here before and so likely know others. How long have you been AF? I love this group - great support. Good luck with the job! Think how much easier it will be, and how much better you will do, with the clarity of being AF. Booze could only hurt you right now and it sounds like you're on the right track doing what you love.

                          Mom of 3 - welcome back too! Your posts have really inspired me in the past so I'm happy to see you around though also happy to hear you haven't needed to be here so much. That is truly frightening about the drink. Do you think it could possibly have been post panic anxiety about the idea of drinking or do you think it was - it sounds like it was - a purely physiological reaction?

                          If the latter, from just one gulp, that really makes me think, given my issues with anxiety are a big part of what is driving me to be AF - as my drinking spiraled out of control so did my anxiety and depression. I am still struggling with anxiety - especially as I'm weaning myself off medication right now - but there's no doubt it's much better than when I were drinking heavily. I can relate to that anxious jittery feelings post drinking well *shudders*. Can I ask, do you remember how long it took for you to feel a real change in this department when you first quit?

                          Life! Once again I was worrying about where you were, so nice to see you! I missed that you were definitely going on the retreat. The meditation retreat right? Will you be completely silent? Anyway, enjoy! I think meditation is a great tool for all of us learning to live in the now.

                          Have a lovely day, especially you Mick
                          , Mr 60
                          ! (Well, I think it will be when you wake up and read this, is that right?)

                          L x

                          Comment


                            #14
                            AF day Tuesday 28th August

                            Hola All....and a real special howdy hi to AFM and Mom3.....we've been missing you!!!!!

                            AFM ....You sound so excited and just.......happy. I hope you get the work with the animals. You are perfect for that position - your love and respect for animals really shines through.

                            M3 I had the same swig - gag issue at a party a month ago....I took a big gulp of gin or vodka or something clear that I never could drink in the first place. I managed to spit it all out...but omg - I just about threw up! BLEAH!!!!!! It's great that your former drink of choice registers like vinegar to you now. The stuff is toxic.

                            I remember having to really WORK at learning to enjoy the taste of alcohol in the early years. Beer smelled like moldy Skunk piss and I can't tell you how disappointed I was that wine didn't taste like Hawaiian Punch. Yet...I soldiered through because I liked the buzz. What a waste. Glad that's the past now.

                            Mick - WAY to go on dealing with the craving wave. You just burnished your big muscles. I feel the glow over on this side of the pole!

                            LifeChange...you will be missed....I can't wait to hear about your retreat time. You deserve this time to recharge and revitalize....

                            And YAH - wow...ROADTRIP! What a great experience...and AF, too. "If you're going to San Francisco....be sure to put a flower in your hair...." PEACE, LOVE and Flower Power on all your travels.

                            Lillye - you wrote some very powerful posts in the thread asking about moderation. You state the facts with clarity and compassion....no doubt....your words will make a difference in someone's life....

                            Porquoi.....are you French? I've always been curious about your choice for a name...hope I'm not being too nosey....I just like to know!

                            Lav...NOW I understand who the Insanity Twins are. I always thought you were talking about grandkids!

                            Hugs to all....
                            Sober for the Revolution!
                            AF & NF July 23, 2011

                            Comment


                              #15
                              AF day Tuesday 28th August

                              :H LillyE love the underpants. And I'll throw in my Congrats For your 60 days now as I won't be here tomorrow night

                              Mick - you have rocked your self all the way to 60! :yay:

                              I'm pretty wiped tonight I'll have to re-read Thursday but I do know it was another AL free day for all of us.

                              Movement day #2 was a 30 minute walk to the local WalMart. But then a thunderstorm moved in and I called the youngest to come pick me up.

                              Nite
                              Cantoo'd my way into another guilt free night
                              AF Since July 27, 2012:jumpin:


                              "Don?t be satisfied with the norm if you want more. It?s okay to want to achieve special results. The world needs folks who dream and achieve big things. Never give up."



                              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FS...e_gdata_player

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