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**CanToo** · August 30, 2012, 02:17 AM

AF day Thursday 30 August

Good morning Mick.

Yes I am up late after a volunteer gig at bingo. I love the birds. Must be something to get that close to them.

Have a great day!

**LillyE** · August 30, 2012, 03:12 AM

AF day Thursday 30 August

Morning Mick!

I was just typing a reply to yesterday's thread - it's so confusing sometimes down here! - and then saw your lovely message. Thank you

*takes a bow* I'm very happy despite the fact that I seem to have been awarded with either a nasty cold or a killer case of hay fever, can't work out which yet, for my 60 days, but no mind. Definitely onwards to 90. If we can do 30, then 60, we can do 90 no sweat, right? And I quite like the idea of some special treat for Day 100! Absolutely get the DVD/TV. You deserve it!

I've been saving my $100 a week so I've got more enough for the haircut and then some, though finances are a bit squeezed so that other money may end up going on bills ultimately but, hey, that's still better than pissing it against the wall as you so eloquently put it WELL DONE US! I found that the last 30 days were much easier than the first 30, did you? I mean, apart from the big wobble the other day? Still, we can't get too complacent.

Yes, $120 is outrageous for a haircut - if not that unusual in the stupidly expensive city I live in (now officially worse than New York - GADS - but that's why it's a special treat. Whenever I go to this guy I get sooo many compliments for weeks and it holds its shape well for months.

Welcome Chef! What type of food do you specialize in? I love food and cooking. We have another chef here (Life) although I'm still not quite sure if she works at a restaurant or school or what exactly. In any case, good to meet you and look forward to learning more about you. 'Peas be with you' - HA.

Wait, do we literally have a barista here? Or are we referring to magic Mike?

MomOf3, thanks for that info re anxiety, that's good to hear. I know that my drinking was both a form of self medicating and also that it made it far worse ultimately. I'm currently weaning off the Lexapro I've been taking. I really hope I can find a way to be ok with it all without meds. Lav, your posts have made me wonder if I should look into amoryn. Though I wonder how much has really been caused by the drinking all these years. I'm doing well on both the exercise and nutrition fronts so hopefully that'll help too.

Turn, I'm interested what you said about GABA and Tyrosine. I have both in my fridge that I must have bought after reading something about biochemical repair but then I got on the ADs and read you shouldn't combine. I may try them again now I'm almost off those. How do you take them both out of curiosity. I looovvvveeee hearing from people whose depression and anxiety is gone post drinking - it really gives me hope. I can say that already both of mine are magnitudes of order better, if not entirely gone.

TDN, that's good news about Bud! Here's hoping he continue to do well. Do you mean Kale plants? I bought some beautiful white flowers for a friend recently and was most surprised to find out they were kale - who knew? They are lovely. From your comments re the convention I gather you're in Tampa? I hope you, YahYah and all your loved ones are fine from Hurricane Isaac - scary stuff.

YahYah, almost 30 days?!! That's terrific. I think that's a special milestone because it can be such an uphill battle to get there. Took me a year of trying anyway. So, yes, we have some celebrating to do. As far as the boring, I hear you, although it's getting easier as I get more used to it and engage more with other activities. And all you have to do to remind yourself how boring drinking can be is go hang out with a bunch of drunk people when you're stone cold sober. Talk about boring, OMG. It makes me cringe realizing how often that was me.

Accountable, hooray for the job!!!! Congrats!!!! And also, amazing you've been sober for over a year! I don't know if your craving a drink is necessarily self sabotage. I mean, it may be, but personally I find I crave when I'm feeling extremes of emotions - either really happy/excited or sad/down. I think that drinking gives us these highs and lows life doesn't normally bring so when we do experience those feelings it can be a trigger. Just my two cents. In any case, why beat yourself up for the feeling? You thought it through and didn't drink and that's what counts. AND you have a new dream job you will do soooo much better at if you're not hungover

So sorry to hear about your friend though, that is very sad. I like the idea of a 'fuck cancer' hate I have to say. I think I'd really want one of those too if it were me.

Ha, Kradle, I just read on and saw your post. So we're on the same page re the emotional extremes clearly. Hope you are doing well over there?

**LillyE** · August 30, 2012, 03:36 AM

AF day Thursday 30 August

Sunflower, I don't think I have the heart to rehash my thoughts on the whole Modding vs Abs thing again to any great degree as that thread just got way too depressing with all the ridiculous in-fighting, hyper-sensitivity, unnecessary defensiveness, and downright nasty personal attacks. If I were the original poster it would have just scared me away entirely, which is hardly helpful.

There's a whole lot I could say on this topic but in short: I agree with you that it's not a one size fits all thing. People are complicated and so is addiction. But I do understand why some here are so adamant about abstinence and not encouraging people to mod when it has literally been a life or death matter for them. (And when denial is known to be such a key part of addiction.) That said, I also understand why, if you were drawn here due to the supposed moderating approach of this site, those responses could be disheartening or upsetting. If, say, you were a problem drinker who could genuinely learn to mod, being told you were just delusional would naturally be infuriating (though those people are clearly, sadly, very much in the minority here).

However, I for one am NOT going to get drawn into those conversations again here. I know what I need for ME right now is being in a place where people are focused on total abstinence, as that's what is right for me. That does not imply judgement on other people's choices. If modding is working for them, super! I hope they're getting the support they need in the mod thread.

Over and OUT for me on that one. That whole palaver on the Newbies thread was what drove me over here - and very glad I am it did now - so I don't really want to rehash it again elsewhere.

But thank you for your intelligent and measured thoughts on the topic. Clearly it's something a lot of people here can't seem to discuss rationally and objectively.

**ChefRobaire** · August 30, 2012, 04:21 AM

AF day Thursday 30 August

Morning All, happy to say another day under my belt. Lil, I am an Executive Chef and specialize in all food types, some I'm more versed in than others. I prefer to cook with the seasons, and definitely into the Slow Food movement and Farm to table, to support our local farmers. Again, thanks to all for the kind welcomes, I look forward to a long AF relationship ...Happy Hollandaise! Chef

**ThreeDogNight** · August 30, 2012, 05:57 AM

AF day Thursday 30 August

Good morning, Abbers!

:yay:Lilly!!!! So happy for you on the sixty days! You've done such a great job, and your posts throughout this journey have been so full of wisdom and inspiration!! The haircut on Saturday should be a wonderful reward for the hard work--even if it does cost a small fortune

Mick, guess you are the barista! Coffee, tea and assorted goodies every day--quite a gift to all of us! And you always share some wise thought each morning. The supermarket analogy is a good one! It is a shame that a thread got so out of control. I will stay out of the fray--need to stay focused on staying AF.
Chef--guess Robaire is for Robert?? Anyway, would love some recipes for slow food, which I now can't remember what it stands for. Somebody will clarify, I'm sure. We are so lucky to have lots of nice summer veggies, and today I am making a zucchini, summer squash and tomato "pie," though it is really a casserole. Cannot find the recipe a friend shared, so will be working from memory, which can be scary. LOL!
I don't live anywhere near Tampa, Lilly, but in New Hampshire, fondly referred to as Cow Hampshire! It is where Romney has a summer home.
I watched the RNC last night, Mick, and I will tell you that one of the most inspiring speeches came from Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice! I have liked all of the speeches, really, but hers--and that of VP candidate Paul Ryan-- really inspired me. I don't get involved in politics--leave that to Mr TDN--but am ready for change.
Yesterday was another one of struggling with the AF thoughts. It is so frustrating that after all I've been through while drinking, the thoughts still pop up. But I kept thinking positive thoughts and kept focused on having my license back in a few months. I knew I could hop on here when I got home and read posts on all the threads and would feel better.
Lilly, the anxiety does come hand in hand with drinking, but I take the Amoryn just to insure that I stay on an even keel. I am not sure about the Tyrosine, although have that--and about fifty other vitamins/supplements--in my cabinet. I took one last night before bed. I used to have GABA, but must have run out at one point. I was trying to follow the protocol in SEVEN WEEKS TO SOBRIETY, but the number of supps and vitamins you have to take is daunting!! Plus on the one or two days I managed to take most of them, they upset my stomach:upset: And at that time, I was truly convinced that if I went to AA and took all the supplements, my alcoholism would disappear. Nope! No magic.
Day off today, and have friends coming later this afternoon for a boat ride, then dinner, but we have to work around the timing so that we can all watch Romney's speech. Also waiting to hear from the guy I am going to do some per diem work for in educational sales. He wants to chat today, but not sure what time. I have tons of samples and tons of things he emailed, so lots to learn!
Walking at 7:30 this a.m. and yesterday I was actually cold when we walked! Cool nights and mornings, and very warm days. Perfect, really!
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day!
:lTDN

**porqoui** · August 30, 2012, 06:48 AM

AF day Thursday 30 August

Good Morning Mick, CanToo, Lil, ChefRob and TDN...and all to come.
I too want to say CONGRATS LILLYE ON 60! WAY TO GO!
Well it's not an up day or a down day it's just a day. I've been procrastinating with the lawyer issues, needed some down time, and now I've got to get my ducks in a row again. Geeze...I just want it all to be over. I keep telling myself patience, this is the right thing to do, but it seems to be dragging on and on. Oh well, this too shall pass.
Have a great AF Thursday everyone.

PQ

**Lavande** · August 30, 2012, 07:05 AM

AF day Thursday 30 August

Good morning Abbers!

CONGRATS to you Lilly on your 60 days AF :yay:
I know what a great feeling & accomplishment that is - be proud!

Good morning Mick, thanks for the coffee as usual

I have lots of bird feeders around here & enjoy watching the small & colorful birds stop by. But I stopped filling them a while ago when I realized a kestrel was picking off doves who also show up ~ kinda gross to witness

I am firmly stationed in the abstinence camp, no question!
I tried to moderate for years & years before arriving at MWO & it simply does NOT work for me.

Greetings Cantoo, Chef, porqoui & TDN!
I hope everyone has a wonderful AF Thursday! I have lots to do today to keep me toeing the line

Lav

**YoungAtHeart** · August 30, 2012, 09:28 AM

AF day Thursday 30 August

Morning all!

Thanks for getting us started again, Mick. You're da man! Keep up the good work!

Chef, I am excited that you are into the slow food movement and eating local. I have been learning more about it, and I am sold. Where are you located, if you don't mind my asking? I want to buy a good pressure canner so I can can my own food, etc., and have been finding local sources of grass-fed beef and free-range poultry. Meanwhile, I am trying to change my diet a little at a time. Of course, that's about me. Congrats to you on adding another AF day to your tally!

Thanks for the pep talk, Lilly. It can be such a struggle to get those first days done, but it does get easier with time. I can still miss those days when I could have a glass or two of wine and be fine, but I certainly cannot mourn the drinker I had become. My experiments with moderation have never worked. I'm sorry you have gotten drawn into the fray in the past, but many people who come to MWO want to mod, but learn they really must be abstinent. Kudos to those who can successfully moderate; so many of us really can't...

At any rate, a big CONGRATULATIONS! for your 60 days!

Hang in there, TDN. You can't help the drinking thoughts, they will come whether you like it or not. The most important thing is to remember where your drinking got you and how painful it has been to let it go, and that will help you keep making the right choices. I'm probably preaching to the choir here, so I'll shut up.

Have a good day, Porquoi!

Have a happy, busy day, Lavande!

I have a very easy work schedule today, so I have some pants to take up and maybe go buy a few new blouses for my vacation. That will be fun.

A big hello for all to come!

Hugs,
YahYah

**CanToo** · August 30, 2012, 02:28 PM

AF day Thursday 30 August

Hello everyone,

I'm playing catchup and will read today's thread later on tonight. For now I'm commenting on AF Wednesday.

Lilly - thanks for mentioning the quit it app. The brain Fog has eased but I still have to think about which day I'm on. Day 35 AF and day 4 of movement. I hope you love your new hair-do. You have earned every penny of it.

TDN - I am also looking forward to showing the 'kids' how it's done once again.

Hello Chef. Happy day 10

Momof3 - I love the strength your avatar shows.

YAH - 26 days by now if I'm not mistaken. I get the drinking out of boredom. I liked Turnagain's the idea of investing the non drinking money in activities to ward off the boredom and to better ones self.

AFM - Hi and CONGRATULATIONS!

Sunflower - :applaud:

Well I'm out of here for now - have the day off because of the late volunteer bingo I did for a boat club. Today's movement will be a dragon boat practice with a team I was thinking of joining. Next years Nationals determine which club teams get to go the worlds in Italy in 2014. The last two years were derailed with surgery and a whole lot of self pity and drinking of course.

Cantooing my way back to health one day at a time

**ChefRobaire** · August 30, 2012, 08:25 PM

AF day Thursday 30 August

TDN: Slow food is the opposite of Fast food....you have to wait until it grows..
YAH: I live in North Carolina. Eating local food that you've canned in the summer, and eat in the winter gives me the chills...pardon the pun

Our state really emphasizes the importance of supporting the local communities, it's a cool place to live...and I live on the beach. Good stuff for this ole hippy!!

**Lavande** · August 30, 2012, 09:03 PM

AF day Thursday 30 August

Hey Chef,

Old hippy Lav has fresh brown eggs up here in PA. Can you move here? :H :H

**TheSunFlower** · August 30, 2012, 09:26 PM

AF day Thursday 30 August

I am so sorry if I upset any one here. I do agree that Mods stay with Mods and us AF's stick together. I don't know if mods leave because they have it under control or they leave because us Ab's people can be harsh.

We traveled a harsh road....and would love to save anyone from it.

I do know that if I had to come back daily for help to moderate daily....I might need to face the facts. But that is not for me decide.

Sorry for anything....I need you Af's!:thanks:

**Turnagain** · August 30, 2012, 10:11 PM

AF day Thursday 30 August

LillyE - You are soaring, my AF friend! Congratulations on these 60 days of freedom. Enjoy that luxurious, swingy haircut...you deserve to feel happy and proud of breaking away from addiction!! SHE-RAH!!!!!!

**ChefRobaire** · August 31, 2012, 02:34 AM

AF day Thursday 30 August

Lav: I used to live in Hazleton

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