Simply Sober September

[dill]

Simply Sober September

“I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t understand why the happiness never came, couldn’t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn’t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn’t made me feel good in years.”
― Heather King, Parched

Hello Chef, and welcome.:welcome:
Greetings Chill and Lav.
IMT, I'm glad you are feeling better. There is so much wisdom in your outlook. "I just need to ride these waves when they present themselves and be stronger after each one conquered." You have set your intentions and have been true to them. I still get such a lift from your posts! I'm curious about your virtual world. If you don't mind sharing, could you tell us a bit about your virtual life, family, occupation, pets, etc? If you're not inclined, that's ok. No pressure.
Cyn, “Simplicity is the nature of great souls.” I think the quiet ones, or introverts if you prefer, are the glue that keeps society safe, sane, secure and functioning!
Hello Star, my fellow Midwesterner.

It took me a while to see how different my experience was with and without alcohol onboard, that probably sounds absurd, but I had never tried to quit before, let alone had enough alcohol free time to really clear it from my body, mind, and spirit. Making an informed choice at this point is a no-brainer.

LBH, You are once again speaking my words for me. Thing is even with that knowledge it sometimes takes great strength and tenacity to persevere against the physical/psychological addiction, greater than I have had available at times. It's so important to pick yourself up an move forward no matter what, and I am so glad that I did so those many times.

Well wishes to anyone struggling today and to all, have a great AF Friday.

[Stargazerlily]

Simply Sober September

Good morning to all...

I'm up early as I have to meet someone at 8:30 in a different town to discuss business, then off to my Dad's for the last time...someone is at his house cleaning and getting it ready to sell so I need to see what I can do to help. It will be so great to get it over with, I have had such a difficult emotional time with all of this. It is just the way life is, it moves in cycles, just like the seasons, and I AM in the fall of my life, not the winter of my life like my Dad. However, just because it is natural does not mean it is easy...

LBH, what a lovely description of the autumn scenery in your area...I also appreciated your description of the process of being AF. So often we have to find our way out in our own time with several tries, but as you shared with Dill, people do get better.

Dill, thinking of you and hoping you are finding time to enjoy the cooler weather that is coming and the fall smells, sights and the feel of crisper weather. Sometimes I get so caught up in my current drama that I neglect to attend to nature, that is always there with new delights if I only take the time to notice.

Chill, I would love to meet you too, so will have to start saving money to travel. It is so inspiring to think of all the changes you have made in the last few years, and you are right, being in a relationship is work and a new set of challenges. I have been married forever and there always seems to be something new to address, but it is mostly all good. It is life. I think it is naive to imagine that living with someone is or should be easy and romantic 24/7...

Chef, good morning and enjoy your day, AF.

Greetings Lav, what did you think about the DNC speeches. I though Biden did well, the press makes him seem like such a buffoon, they can put a twist on what they want.

To all, have a great day.

[itsmytime]

Simply Sober September

Happy Friday,

Ok, rollercoaster is slowing down lol feeling better and looking forward to getting stuff ready for the party.

Dill - I don't mind sharing at all, I am a happily married woman with two amazing sons. I love animals and we have a beautiful 13 year old dog that we have had since she was a pup. I am in administration in the social services field. I am very spiritual and love to meditate, garden, read, dance and workout. I absolutely love music and my family is musically gifted - not me so much lol The reason I drank was to numb my losses, I have had too many losses at an early age and suffered from anxiety terribly. I was the happy drunk - on the outside, but emotinally, I was hurting real bad from it. I was always the life of the party and happy..to others. What scared me is that recently I started to black out and binge really bad these past couple of years after losing more loved ones in such a short span of time. My hangovers lasted for days, not only physically but emotionally which was worse.

Now I have taken the bull by the horns and am going to be here physically and emotionally for myself, my family and look forward to a long, healthy, sober life.

I am happy to be part of this community :l

[rustop59]

Simply Sober September

Hi everyone

Quick check in from me. Hope to get back to my routine next week. Great discussion as usual, I have enjoyed reading even if I have not had time to contribute. So much of what is written strikes a chord with me.

Itsmytime, you have joined the right thread, lots of animal lovers, people interested in meditation, exercisers, you will never be bored.

Cyn- welcome back, great to hear from you. Everyone else big hello.

Rustop

[Lavande]

Simply Sober September

Good morning friends,

IMT, we are happy to have you here with us
Long term anxiety & the resulting depression gets many of us diving into a bottle or two of wine everday. What's wrong with looking for a little relief, right?
That routine always backfires though, I truly understand.

Dill, your quote had ME written all over it, no kidding!
I wanted to be sufficiently numb enough just to get through the day with the hope that tomorrow would be better. Guess what? It wasn't! I am so grateful that thinking is history
Hope you are well, your family too!

Greetings Chef! I will have my porridge after my Curves workout this morning! Don't want to be bouncing around on all that!!!

Chill, my Lavan-ittude is my safety shield! I never attack ~ I defend myself & anyone who needs a little help Have fun with the Tolle videos, he does get you thinking!!!

Star, wishing you the best with your chores & yes, life does go on. I had to go through all that with my parent's home & things many, many yeras ago. It was not an easy task.

Greetings cyn, Rusty, Rustop, Papmom & everyone!
OK, off I go!

Lav

[ladybirdheart]

Simply Sober September

Dill that quote certainly summed things up for me, I laughed and cringed reading it. Thank you! IMT I am with you in having too much early loss, I became incompetent to handle new loss later in life, didn't have words for the feelings, didn't have hope, didn't have bearings. Drinking worked really well in bringing me around from the shock and later anxiety but I remained alone and never learned anything new emotionally. Lav, thank you for the link to the Eckhart Tolle series. I love that quirky fellow, such sweet, self contained words that find their way right to my marrow. Hello to everybody on the bus. Love, Ladybird.

[Lavande]

Simply Sober September

Good morning Sept friends

Awaiting strong & gusty T storms here with the promise of cooler weather tonight ~ finally. Getting kind of sick of being cooped up in the AC (not to mention the electric bill )

I hope everyone is happy & having a great AF Saturday!
Lav

[dill]

Simply Sober September

Hello Simply Sober Ones,
Lav, I am enjoying the cool weather the thunderstorms brought in their wake. You're going to be very pleased.
IMT, thanks for sharing. I'm very happy for you that you have made such a firm commitment and are enjoying the benefits. Thanks for giving us a description of your virtual self. Would you care to learn about our virtual selves or have you been reading these boards long enough that you might already be familiar with us? I do believe you and I have a lot in common. I share your interests in music, meditation, gardening and reading, but I'm not keen on dance or working out! For exercise I simply like to take long walks. I just turned 60 this year and hurt my back last spring so that I had to give up walking for the duration. I'm back up to par now and am able to take brisk walks once again. My dog is very happy about that.
LBH, You seem to be enjoying retirement, keeping yourself active and continually learning. Do you think the retirement phase has helped you break away from drinking or do you think it made quitting more difficult for you?
Star, it's funny you should mention turning to nature. I have indeed been taking time nearly every day to be in nature. I have been taking early morning walks and often when I am stressed I recall the feeling of peace I have inside during those excursions. The midwest does not have the spectacular, awe-inspiring landscapes, but there is a gentle and comforting peace in the landscape, don't you think?
Hi Rustop, I'm glad you are still with us even if you aren't able to post as regularly at present.

[dill]

Simply Sober September



Here's Tessa. I don't know how to make the picture smaller or I would.

[ladybirdheart]

Simply Sober September

What a lovely dog, strong and doggy-expressive. And a good question, Dill. Because having a stiff drink at the end of a long, stressful or scary work day was something I usually did (...or to "celebrate" a good one?you know the drill, there is always something...), I assumed that when I no longer had work, I wouldn't want or "need" to drink as frequently. The problem was, however, that my job also kept me from overdoing drinking on a work night; there was no way I could do the sort of work I did with any kind of hangover, and as I went in at six AM and didn't get home until around seven that evening, the external structure served to keep me effectively muzzled from my own inclinations. The overindulging I allowed myself on my nights before a day off became a habit and when I retired from full time work and then increasingly from part time, I became increasingly invisible and unaccountable, nobody cared what I did, I was alone and seemingly unfettered. In retirement I drank to excess nearly every night without obvious consequence until I started experiencing what most others do, that waking up at two or three with a pounding heart and veins full of dread. Time to pull the plug. It is a hard thing to kick but alone is harder. It is good that you are doing this now as I think retirement is among the other myths that I told myself would make it easier to control or quit my drinking. At some point we each just have to do it, there is never a perfect time that stretches on forever. I realize that if I am ever going to live with any authenticity, well-being, and joy, I can't also be holding onto a double scotch. Love to all, Ladybird.

[cyntree]

Simply Sober September

"I realize that if I am ever going to live with any authenticity, well-being, and joy, I can't also be holding onto a double scotch."

Ahem, what perfection in a phrase, thanks LBH. And thanks Dill for the quote earlier, all of these words are great reminders. Lav, I look forward to seeing the Tolle link, I haven't quite made it there yet. Speaking of being on the bus, has anyone heard from Sooty? Rustop, good luck getting back in a routine; I absolutely understand. PMom are you OK? Hello to all - gotta run down to the basement now, big storms and tornado watch going on...

[FreeFly]

Simply Sober September

Hope you don't mind me jumping in here. Just wanted to thank you Cyntree for the Quiet link. Checked out Susan Cain on TED - interesting. Definitely in the Introvert camp and have the book on order. Thank you

[Lavande]

Simply Sober September

Good evening friends,

Finding myself more tired than usual, think it may be allergy related. Everytime the seasons change I seem to go through another round of allergy funk.
Having two rambuncyious little boys here for dinner the past two nights might be part of the problem

FreeFly, stick around for a while, glad you are here!

Dill, I love Tessa! Simply beautiful & I'll bet she enjoys those morning walks

cyn, hope all is well!
I heard there were two tornados in NY today - geez!

Greetings LBH, hope your day was marvelous!

Think I'm going to call it a day!

[Lavande]

Simply Sober September

Good morning!

I'm back & rested
The nice weather has arrived Dill ~ thank you.

Have a great AF Sunday everyone!
Lav

[Stargazerlily]

Simply Sober September

Good morning to all...

Woke up to rain, I thought it was gone. It turned out to be a beautiful Saturday, 60s, windy and sunshine, a perfect early fall day.

Dill, love your doggy, he is so cute, he looks like he's ready to go for a WALK! I love my midwest scenery, so much green, growth, and peacefulness. I know I am home after a trip. You are right, it is not dramatic, no mountains or oceans, but lots of beautiful trees, flowers, streams, lakes, gently rolling land....home to us. Regarding retirement, I wonder whether you do in retirement is what you did all along...if you were busy and active while working, you continue. Same with drinking. Time has to be filled with something to do.

LBH, your description of the progression of your drinking sounds familiar. Having the next day off can be killer, while work and routine encourage some type of limit. Isn't it great to be in a new habit of being AF?

Lav, glad the cooler weather has reached you, it is so nice to have the air off. Any special plans today? I want to create some new veggie dishes, I took out "the get healthy, go vegan cookbook," by Neal Barnard and it has some really tasty recipes. Last night I made Pretty Stuffed Peppers, no meat, and it was delicious. Hummus pizza was easy and really tasty too! I am determined to be vegan, I want to feel better. I know you have been emphasizing vegatarian fare for some time and wondered if you notice health benefits? Please let me know, thanks.

Cyntree, enjoy your time to yourself, it is well earned. Were you in the East last fall? I sometimes think autumn is the best time of the year...hope you are well.

IMT, welcome, good to hear you are doing better and better...

Papmom, miss you, hope to hear from you soon.

Hello to Chill, Rusty, Rustop, and everyone, hope you have a serene Sunday.