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**LillyE** · September 2, 2012, 02:17 AM

af Sunday Sept 2

Thanks Mick. I've only left the house in the last 3 days to get supplies and have literally been in bed all day today but I am starting to feel a bit better - just in time for work Monday, yay. And it's been a gorgeous spring weekend here too but ah well, what can you do? I think the lemon-ginger tea, fresh juices and organic chicken veggie soup are kicking the bastard's arse. AND I reboooked that haircut for next Saturday so expect a report and possibly even pictures.

I just PM'd Miss Shue. Hopefully she has just lost Internet connection for some reason,

FABULOUS on getting the TV/DVD Mick, you totally deserve it and that's a great reward as will help keep you even healthier.

DEFINITELY onwards to 90! I am confident we can do it so long as we don't allow ourselves to get complacent. I guess we'll need an even bigger treat then hey?

**satz123** · September 2, 2012, 02:32 AM

af Sunday Sept 2

Mornin gang. Just to let you know I didn't slip last week ... and maybe I was selfish to post about it. It can be disheartening to read I know for others.
I DECIDED to 'have a go' at a 2 days wedding here in Ireland.
I am delighted I did. It was not great tbh and I know now I'm missing nothing.

**TheSunFlower** · September 2, 2012, 02:33 AM

af Sunday Sept 2

Mick....so early! I am back on track and have been for while now. I quit smoking on the 31st....so I am counting that as my day 1....to give me the motivation to stick with both. I am saving my my diet Pepsi addiction for another day.

We are currently visiting family. We stay at a friend's house who has been sober over 20 years. That said.....i got violently sick quickly from a slalad that I ordered for dinner. Thank God our host was not at home.....but, hugging the toilet bowl sober is real eye opener. Gosh, I am not missing those days!

I just woke up with a nasty headache and there is no aspirin in the house. It occurred to me that sober people probably don't consider this a life or death item in the house

Went to a place earlier today, that signaled my brain to have a drink. It's like an adult game room of sorts. I felt my body tense up....and boy would it not be nice to have a few drinks to loosen up. It's a holiday weekend here and all. My problem was that it was 2pm.....and once I start I really don't like to stop until I go to bed.....so, I start to take inventory of the drinkers...... 5 out of 30! And two looked like they were just holding theirs for show.

I am just becoming so aware of how warped my perception is. In the past all I could ever see were the drinkers....and since that total stranger was having a drink....I could too. Not only was my over drinking out of place....but, my drinking at all was. As long as I am not in a bar....it seems like drinking has gone out of style.

I am faced with people drinking at times.....but, I am realizing my brain way over magnified it.

Well, back to bed for a bit. Meeting my mom and a friend for yoga. And it's with one of my favorite teachers of all time....who just returned from 2 years in the peace corps. I don't care how sick I am....I am going! Anyways.....I have much practice living through all them hangovers

My friend just got out of the ICU about 2 weeks ago from trying to committ suicide. She nearly succeeded this time around. It's so sad because she had years of sobriety and in the last year she has been to 5 rehabs, tried to committ suicide several times, quit her job of 10 years while drunk.....and just has spiraled out of control. Now she is completely dependent on a man she has only been dating for 5 months. Even sober she went through men like crazy. But, I think this one likes the fact that she is so dependent on him. Her, him and I are going out to lunch.....All I can do is be there for her. She hasn't drank for nearly 2 weeks....but, 10 days of those were spent in the hospital. Anyways.....it is a good reminder of how al can pounce on you at anytime.....and you never really know where it's going to take you. Oddly, enough I met this person while I was on a lengthly sober stint....so her and I have never drank together.

Ok...back to sleep for me. And I am still loving Smart Recovery....I just like the approach. It's a choice and I just repeated that mantra to myself when my body was signaling for a drink. Regardless, of what my brain or body tells me....it's still a choice I would rather not make.

Lilly hope you are feeling better! Satz...I know of peole who purposely drink after some sober time....many find they like it again....others feel just like you....you ain't missing a damn thing!

**Guitarista** · September 2, 2012, 02:50 AM

af Sunday Sept 2

Greetings Mick, Satz, Lilly, Sunflower and fABBIes near and not so far,

Congrat's again on 60 days Mick. Heavy duty stuff bro!

Get well soon Lilly. Didn't realise you had the flu, but sounds like you're onto it.

Sun, adult games room? Care to elaborate? Wait, maybe don't......:H

I hope your friend can get herself better.

Right, off to find some__________________________:h

One thing's for sure........Have a great weekend everyone. G.

**shueaddict** · September 2, 2012, 04:15 AM

af Sunday Sept 2

Hi Peeps, thank you so much Lilly and Turn for the PMs, they did the trick ... Mick, sorry I missed your coffee - I was busy on holiday but also I drank.

Well - this is what I wrote a few weeks ago, before leaving on hols ...

shueaddict;1364892 wrote: But I know myself, I will relax, let my guard down, turn off my blackberry and think that I need a break from everything, including trying to quit AL.

That is precisely what happened ... 11 days into my holiday ... no one pushed me, I just switched my brain off and took the first drink ... 3 days later (that was yesterday) I drank a bottle of wine (kind of my max). I was not surprised.

So, while I still have the power to turn that first drink away I'd better do it. Day 1 again, today. Tomorrow is back to the office and I have a long list waiting.

Sorry for letting you down, folkes. Not checking in here has been my downfall. Thank you so much for your kind thoughts.

**satz123** · September 2, 2012, 04:30 AM

af Sunday Sept 2

shueaddict;1372552 wrote: Hi Peeps, thank you so much Lilly and Turn for the PMs, they did the trick ... Mick, sorry I missed your coffee - I was busy on holiday but also I drank.

Well - this is what I wrote a few weeks ago, before leaving on hols ...

That is precisely what happened ... 11 days into my holiday ... no one pushed me, I just switched my brain off and took the first drink ... 3 days later (that was yesterday) I drank a bottle of wine (kind of my max). I was not surprised.

So, while I still have the power to turn that first drink away I'd better do it. Day 1 again, today. Tomorrow is back to the office and I have a long list waiting.

Sorry for letting you down, folkes. Not checking in here has been my downfall. Thank you so much for your kind thoughts.

Hey Shue
I did the same - made that decision.
Wonder though how you feel about it?
I learned from it. Don't really like the booze any more. But found it 'useful' in the circumstances I found myself in

**LillyE** · September 2, 2012, 05:13 AM

af Sunday Sept 2

Ah, Shue, giant hugs. I'm just glad you checked in and we know you're ok. Are you ok? How're you feeling for drinking?

Someone wise said here once that one of the worst things that can happen after a slip is... Nothing. I know that would be true for me as that's what would spiral me back into continued heavy drinking until something bad actually DID happen. Maybe this is an opportunity to review why you want to be completely AF - assuming of course that you do? In any case, no judgement here, just :l

GUITARISTA!! What was with the intriguing 'off to find lurve' comment? are you seeing spinach lady tonight??!! I respectfully demand all the gossip

good luck and go well.

Lilly xoxo

**ThreeDogNight** · September 2, 2012, 05:18 AM

af Sunday Sept 2

Good morning, everyone.

So I join Satz and Shue. I drank (wine) yesterday and have no excuses. It was day 23. Made the decision. Wasn't even feeling the urge to drink, as I had the past week. Not at all. I was with my co-worker and somehow thought it would be okay to have one with her. Maybe because summer is coming to close and we probably won't be working together after today. Don't really know. The whole time I kept thinking of how horrible I'd feel coming back here and admitting it. And I do. Mr TDN suspected something, as I fell coming into the house. Partly due to the shoes I was wearing, as I tripped on a step at work before drinking, but I was also tipsy. Went to bed and stayed there all night waking up and dreading getting up this a.m. I know I cannot have that first drink, and still I let this happen. I never get sick, Det, but the sickness in my head is awful.
So back to day 1 and have to face MR TDN and make excuses again.
Hope you all have a nice AF day.
:upset:TDN

**ChefRobaire** · September 2, 2012, 06:06 AM

af Sunday Sept 2

Morning All,
Mick~ I do have a plan, STAY BUSY! Generally some sort of exercise works, I am fortunate that I have the beach and a pool 150 yards away...it helps. I also have 5 or so sober friends on speed dial

. Thanks for starting off the threads every morning...two things I've been looking forward to since I became AF and that's morning tea and coming here. I come here frequently throughout the day as well to catch up on other threads. It's a huge help. Thank y'all for your support.
Satz~ Where in Ireland are you from? I have dual citizenship, my grandparents were from Meath and Galway.
Have an awesome AF day everyone....let's make the day count! Chef

**shueaddict** · September 2, 2012, 06:53 AM

af Sunday Sept 2

Satz, Lilly - I hate it . Something did happen, I blacked out - stupid here hardly ate anything yesterday - also stayed off carbs for a few days prior .. duh ... is there really any surer way to get drunk?

I feel terrible, dissapointed in myself and a tad hungover. But at the same time this just goes to prove I really need to be completely AF ... that still is my goal.

TND - sorry to hear it ... we need to repeat "I will not drink under any circumstances" a few hundred times each day.

Sunflower - I think it's time for me to join SMART recovery too. Glad to "see" you posting here.

ChefRobaire - I love that name !!!! Are you really a chef?

Mick - do let us know how the wwedding went

**satz123** · September 2, 2012, 06:54 AM

af Sunday Sept 2

ChefRobaire;1372577 wrote: Morning All,
Mick~ I do have a plan, STAY BUSY! Generally some sort of exercise works, I am fortunate that I have the beach and a pool 150 yards away...it helps. I also have 5 or so sober friends on speed dial

. Thanks for starting off the threads every morning...two things I've been looking forward to since I became AF and that's morning tea and coming here. I come here frequently throughout the day as well to catch up on other threads. It's a huge help. Thank y'all for your support.
Satz~ Where in Ireland are you from? I have dual citizenship, my grandparents were from Meath and Galway.
Have an awesome AF day everyone....let's make the day count! Chef

I'm from Dublin but married to a man from Meath who's father was from Galway

Small country

**ChefRobaire** · September 2, 2012, 07:06 AM

af Sunday Sept 2

Shue~ I am a Chef, that's my trade, and I LOVE what I do...I think I saw another saying on here something to the effect of, I will not let anyone or anything get in the way of my sobriety...
Satz~ Awesome, I was there in '99, had a great time. I plan on coming back soon, maybe to stay, or maybe not...we'll see what the universe has in store

Erin Go Braugh!

**Lavande** · September 2, 2012, 07:15 AM

af Sunday Sept 2

Good morning Abbers

I am in fine shape on this cloudy morning & looking forward to a day with my family!

Mick, thanks for the reminder - it was White Rabbit not Jackrabbit :H
I have such a granny brain anymore!!! Congrats on the new TV - sounds very cool!

I am not going to hang here talking about the reasons we choose to drink. We have all been there & done that & already know the results

The end result will always be the same ~ shame, remorse, guilt.......
I've been done with that BS for a long time now & choose to never go back.

Wishing a wonderful AF Sunday for all of us

Lav

**Kaslo** · September 2, 2012, 07:28 AM

af Sunday Sept 2

Hey everyone, cant sleep. Or dance (gramma has the waterskiis).

I have been absent, preparing for a hearing and there is not enough time in the day. I wake up thinking about it and go to sleep thinking about it. But I have been reading here.

I used to come on here when I first quit for good because there were people here who would dish out a royal shite kicking, and I felt a bit like I needed that climate of peer pressure. I dont sense a whole lot of ...anything. As LillyE puts it.

On the one hand I sympathize, but on the other hand I dont. I wonder whats come over some of you. Deeply convinced you must not drink... needing to quit for legal, marital and most important of all PERSONAL reasons related to health and safety.

I just cant anymore. Im 58, my health was getting close to being shot. The Rain in My Heart documentary... the list of symptoms, i understood the tox issues, and I was tired of it. But most importantly, I knew that if I continued on I would soon ramp right up to 100 miles an hour again, and I then really would not stop till it killed me.

Some of you are not being honest with your self and others, its not just a fecking decision to drink, its a self delusion to drink. And y'all know it.

I am off to Kootenay Lake. Have a nice day. I mean it.

Kas

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