af Sunday Sept 2

[caysea]

af Sunday Sept 2

Hi All

I read the AF tread daily and today thought I was in the mod section by mistake. People have relapses. Part of getting sober. Just seems a pretty casual attitude in regards to getting AF. There is no bigger threat to my life then AL. I will do any thing it takes to be sober. Not what makes a situation easy. Not what makes someone else happy with me.
I have always said no person or thing or situation will take away my recovery. It will only be me making a bad choice. Why did you make a bad choice? Find the answer. You will be presented with the same problem again.

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[LillyE]

af Sunday Sept 2

Turnagain;1372738 wrote:
Addiction is powerful and the mechanics are not yet fully understood. What is known is that all of us are here because addiction has resulted in serious problems in our lives and diminished the quality of our daily life and our health.

What I personally know is that AMBIVALENCE about abstinence was destructive for me. I spent YEARS of misery desperately clinging to the idea that somehow I could bring my drinking under control. Once I completely accepted that this was no longer an option, my life began again. No need to white knuckle...no need to worry about relapse. I KNOW what will happen if I were to drink again. Sure I could have one or two. I would want more, though. And it wouldn't be long before the brain chemistry that I worked so hard to repair rushed back into the loop of addiction. Dopamine be damned.

So....I no longer drink. No matter what. And, after a lot of work and a lot of support....I don't need to drink and can truly say.....I don't WANT to.

I wish I could wave a wand and ping everyone (who needs it) on the head to share this incredible freedom.

Since I don't have that power, the best I can do is offer support, encouragement and FACTS to those who are struggling.

ETHANOL is a TOXIN. Once its use leads to abuse, it inevitably leads to addiction. Alcohol damages every cell in our bodies. It damages the heart, the liver, the kidneys, the pancreas, the intestines, the stomach, the skin....and most of all....the brain...that marvelous command center that controls our ability to think, feel and function.

You don't have to go through this crap any more. My HOPE is that everyone who is addicted will come to embrace the REAL NORMAL of daily living. Normal as in the state of having a brain that doesn't demand any amount of chemical alteration. There's no secret or mystery about finding NORMAL. It begins when we end our relationship - ONCE and for ALL - to alcohol and any other addictive substance that runs- and ruins - our lives.

Also, this is terrific Turn. It really spoke to me and is the kind of thing I really need to hear at the moment. I read it a few times. I will add it to my motivation file. I hope it helps others too. Thank you.

[Lavande]

af Sunday Sept 2

No one is tearing anyone down on this thread!

Maybe some of you don't fully understand where I am coming from.......

Nearly 12 years ago I awoke in an ICU having no idea how I got there. Talk about being scared to death!!!
Apparently, after a day of sluggling down God knows how much wine I fell down a full flight of steps & landed on my head. I fractured my skull, developed a large sub-dural hematoma & underwent an emergency craniotomy. Painful as holy hell!
It took a full year & a half before I even started feeling human again & regained my sense of smell & taste. Let me tell you how hard it is to eat even your favorite food when you can't taste or smell it - it gags you. Rebuilding myself & my life after that was extremely difficult but I did it & eventually began drinking again. Why? Because I was chronically depressed about not getting what I needed from my marriage - love & emotional support. Never got that from YB & now I never will. He left because he is also a chronic depressive & couldn't tolerate me being sober & happy.
My point is this - I damn near killed myself all those years ago for nothing. I felt sorry for myself!

I just don't want another human being to go through the pain & suffering I did. I learned my lesson the hard way but the rest of you don't have to do the same.
Choose to not drink & make your lives better, now!

Lav

[greeneyes]

af Sunday Sept 2

Jackrabbit!

Hey ho fabbies! Looks like some great progress here lately for Destiny, Mick, Lilly, Sausage... :goodjob: And some steps backwards for some folks. It's still AF for me here in greenieland. I'm so glad to be in the place where I have both the certainty and appreciation of that. "That" being AF is my life. I know what will happen if I drink. So it makes it sort of simple really. A simple that is respected though; not taken for granted. Life is short, make sure you're spending it how you really want to. :l

[greeneyes]

af Sunday Sept 2

Holy shit Lav! I never knew that!

[Lavande]

af Sunday Sept 2

Queenie greenie

I am happy to see you here tonight, have missed you

I probably have never really explained myself to people here - hate thinking about my past events. Life is too short to damage yourself with AL or any other substance for that matter. I am eternally grateful for my sobriety & choose to remain sober & safe

[greeneyes]

af Sunday Sept 2

Awww thanks lav :l I know what you mean about past events.

[Kaslo]

af Sunday Sept 2

Hey Greenster, good to see your smiling toes. Thanks for saying something cheerful.

If it makes you guys feel more comfortable, I will climb back under my rock for a while. But before I do, I just want to say that I spoke the truth. Not lying to yourself is hard, its not easy, its much easier to tell yourself a crock full, then drink like a FISH, seriously fall off the wagon, etc., sometimes for extended periods, then put yourself and others thru hell, and make a bunch of excuses for it. I did it myself. I was the WORST. I am not saying all this stuff because I want to be a mean bastard, I am saying it because I believe if you dont own it, recognize it, and fix it, you are doomed to repeat it over and over.

Its hard to quit for good. But it is possible, and it is worth it.

[Kaslo]

af Sunday Sept 2

And Lav, yes, I did know this. And you managed to quit for good inspite of this. What an inspiration you are.

OK....BYE guys, I will check in again and see how you are all doing. If you want to kick MY arse, be my guest

kas

[LillyE]

af Sunday Sept 2

Oh Kas :l Please don't go crawl under any rocks. I think we need your wise (if tough) words here.

Look guys, seriously, can we PLEASE not disintegrate into a mess of hurt feelings and bickering and threats to leave and sulks and etc. C'mon guys?! We are better than this. This is a great little group we've got going and I don't want to see it turn into this. And I don't want to see anyone storm off OR slink away.

No one here wants anything but to help each other get better - I believe that 100%. Smooth your ruffled feathers. Kiss and make up. And let's get back to business.

:h

[Turnagain]

af Sunday Sept 2

AMEN!

[Turnagain]

af Sunday Sept 2

Hey Caysea and Greenie! Great to see ya'll......

[Lavande]

af Sunday Sept 2

Lilly, my feathers )and Stella's) are just fine

Kas, don't go anywhere!
You & I have both been seriously hurt by AL - one way or the other!
Trying to save our mutual friends here from the same hurt & suffering is what we're both all about

Just stay put everyone, we're all grownups & need to learn these lessons once & for all!
Peace & love all around..........

[porqoui]

af Sunday Sept 2

I agree. I need all of you. You have become my family. Please don't anyone leave. PQ

[Kaslo]

af Sunday Sept 2

ill be baaaaaaack. i often check out for a while to give myself a breather. k