Thursday, 1 March 2007

[Paddy]

G'day Absville,

Hope all of you are keeping fine. This is the first post in a long time here in Moderation town. I feel 'worthy' again to post. Have been on Topa for 5 weeks, and have been truly moderate - average 1 glass of wine a day, but aiming for complete abstinence. In fact, I titrated up to 175 mgs topa today. No probs typing this message, so quite happily typing away here.
Cravings are also under control, so really happy about this, too. I'm just really sorry to read about a few female members on the site that have to deal with hair loss while taking Topa.

That's a real bummer, as we males take hair loss as an ok trade-in, in exchange to year-long addiction (well, I do, that is ...). Even though, my addiction never really took me all the way down to being drunk every night, but got me worried enough to think about stopping the booze .... 1 bottle of wine a night is NOT normal, even if people around you might do it as a habit ...

Anyway, I gotta get back to work. Hope you guys have a wonderful day wherever you are.

:l

[Popeye]

Thursday, 1 March 2007

Good Morning Paddy,
March already. Time really is flying by. As I get older, the months turn into years so quickly.
I'm doing fine. I hope you all are too.

[Paddy]

Thursday, 1 March 2007

You're right Paul. Here's to age, a few quotes, yes you guessed it by ole Groucho Marx:

- A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
- Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
- Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- At my age, flowers scare me.

Have yourself a good month after all ;-)

[bear73]

Thursday, 1 March 2007

morning everyone day 12 here for me as tday at work this week - have day off tomorrow can't wait. I'm off for a spa day as a treat mmmmm...
plannign to run tonight for half hour with friend.still feeling bluesy/anti social.
OH is trying to be helpful but not really working. sayig things like ' i can't let myself get down' I was saying how i just didn't feel like seeing anyone, he said i should try to force it.
problem is he blocks all negative feelings(sadness/anger) and pretends they don't exist.
i think i'm maybe feeling stuff more as i have no destructive outlet anymore.
i think i should stay in sometimes but if it goes on for any length of time then i do need to gently push myself out of the door.

that being said saw friend last night, and friends eve before and before that and had v. nice time - more sitting around house chatting type of thing than going to pub/bar with tonnes of people. That's what I'm not really in the mood for.

part of it is is I feel too fat and not attractive and it's getting me down, I have 2 - 2 and a half stone (28-35 pounds) to lose so I'm overweight. I know i shouldn't compare myself, i'm 33 i think i'm regressing to 16 or 18 again.

i guess it will pass I'm trying to experience ' negative' feelings rather than block/try to change them straight away - and then use their force as an impetus to change.when i had couselling we worked out that i don't 'sit with' my feelings but try to rationalise them away/worry about why I'm feeling it or pretend it's all fine
I get so impatient I want it all to happen now - like I worry about whether i will drink 3 weekends away I worry if I will lose 2 stone by summer!
practicing living in the moment may be good I think, as would sticking to my daily goals to get to my big goals e.g. no booze today, exercise today,eating 1500 calories today - hmm.
from thinking a lot for this time in the morning bear.
good day everyone xx I think I may need a lie down now

[Ilex]

Thursday, 1 March 2007

Hello Everyone - thought I would check in here and say Hi as I have rather neglected this board recently!

I'm good and tend to post on the mod board at the moment - I did my 30 days AF and am now officially moderating; but haven't made or set any goals so I'm not sure how long it will continue without me having to do so!

Good to hear everyone's news - Bear, I understand what you are saying. I'm 33 too and have the old weight issue / body image problem. I am trying to go to the gym and get fit but it is a struggle sometimes to keep positive! Stay smiling!.....

Love to all before and all to come.... x

[Mary Anne]

Thursday, 1 March 2007

Good morning/happy March!!

hey all, happy Thursday! I am on day 11 too! I have found that for me, when I stop drinking, the weight issue is SOOOO much easier to deal with......the pounds just seem to drop off, give it some time(I am 43, so it is possible:specs: !)

Also, I found out (because I promised someone I would) that when I focus on the joys of today, not the failures....and promised them I would act "as if" I am not worried about tomorrow (it will always take care of itself), life is so much more enjoyable! I used to always obsess about what was going to happennext week, next month, tomorrow etc, but it is sooo much better to just focus (sometimes not so easy), but worth it to try to focus on today!!

Anyway, that is what is working for me!!

Love and hugs!!!:h :l

Mary Anne

[Ripley]

Thursday, 1 March 2007

Hello people

:h - nervously dipping my toe into the stream of abstinence... 'tis day 3 for me (YO! Still can not belive it!). had a few weeks of faffing about (drunkenly) since finding this place , then finally got all the "gear" (supps, topa, adrafinil, hypno cd, kudzu) and boy has it made a difference... Early days, but have looked at husband's wine for 2 nights running and thought- really - , nope, don't want any...

still, as a long term over-indulger (1-2 bottles wine a night) who has also struggled with nicotene addiction, eating disorders etc most of her adult life, I'm not expecting this to be an easy ride all the way.

I'm 39, nearly 40, so don't want any sob stories about being 33 thanks very much guys! i want to lose 25 lbs so we can all get skinny and sober together. Planning to eat along the same lines as Paddy (Topamax survey thread) - steering clear of sugar, refined carbs, drink lots of water.

anyway, looking forward to getting to know you all kate.

[YoungAtHeart]

Thursday, 1 March 2007

Morning All,

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I don't seem to be losing any more hair than usual from the topa, thank goodness! Paddy, it's nice to see you leading off the thread again! Welcome back! Love your Groucho quotes, by the way!

Hey Popeye! It's always grand to see you too.

Ladies, MaryAnne has the right idea to focus on the joys of the day. (I have to practice that myself too, I must admit!)

As far as weight loss goes, bear, I think you are setting your goals too high. Break it down into smaller goals and go for that, like 5 pounds at a time. I'd be so overwhelmed if I felt like I had to lose 25 pounds by the summer!! I'm with Kate about cutting out the refined sugars and carbs, etc. And at 50+, my metabolism is a definite enemy to weight loss. I have to be careful just to maintain my current weight! Ugh! I'd like to lose about 15 pounds, but I have lost 15 pounds since 2001. It has been lose a few then gain 1-2 back then lose a few more then gain a 1-2 back. I think the whole trick is to slowly make lifestyle changes and stick to them, one by one. Please love yourself as you are and THEN rejoice in every pound you lose!

What does it say in the Desiterata? "Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself." Those are good words.

Anyway, I see I am lecturing too much, and I hope you will take it in the supportive way that it is intended.

Welcome Kate, it is good to see you here! Make yourself right at home!

Anyway, I'm off to sew and do more taxes (urgh!) before heading off to work.

Hugs,
Kathy

[Java]

Thursday, 1 March 2007

Morning all,

My boyfriend invited me out last night with him and a friend, he said he had a guy at work who was kind of bored and needed a night out and they were gonna go have a bite to eat and a few beers, he asked if I would join him, and said If I Did not go, he would happily not go (I think that is B/c I am going out of town saturday for a while) I said I was cool with it and I would join them. He asked if it was cool if he drank in front of me, I said yes, and to be honest, it didnt bother me that much.

I just came back from a weekend with two friends who kept trying to get m to drink, i knew he wouldnt, and i knew he woulndt get drunk or anything, and surprisingly, when he invited me into the situation, it didnt bother me at all, I simply said "sure!"

I went out with the two of them, they ordered their beer, I ordered my water, we ate some dinner, had some good conversation, and stayed for about two hours, I had a pretty good time. I didnt envy either of them for being able to drink that beer, and i wasnt overly consumed by the fact I couldnt, which is something I was dealing with earlier on in my AF days, I guess you could have called it the drink envy then.

I am nowhere near cured, but it was really nice to be in an old situation where Iwould have previously have gone overboard, or left early to come home and drink, and he able to sit and enjoy the company, without the cloud of the alcohol, and I was shocked that I didnt realize until I came on here to post this morning about my experience that the thoughts of having to remain AF through the evening had not consumed my evening, it was interesting to see how I had changed.

Thanks for listening, and congrats to you all on your accomplishments!

Victoria

[lorisunshine]

Thursday, 1 March 2007

Good morning,
to Paddy, Popeye, Ilex, Bear, Mary Ann, Kate, Kathy and Victoria and all Abbers yet to come.
There is not much excitement happening around here. Its the same old, same old... I am glad you are all doing well. I think I have replaced the drink with food. I am forever cooking and baking and eating it too. This has to stop.
I need to find a new "benign" addiction. Any suggestions?
There still is that hole in my sole that I am trying to fill up with something.

All you, have a grand day.
Lori

[Accountable for Me]

Thursday, 1 March 2007

Good morning Abs!

Great board already this morning. Some days are definitely quieter than others. Welcome Paddy! Glad to see you here.

lori - I know all to well about substituting food for the alcohol. I still feel 'the empty' hole where booze was once used to fill. I can't offer you any suggestions for this sorry. I wanted to acknowledge your feelings tho. If you do find something let me know eh!

Good morning, Popeye, Ilex, Bear, Mary Ann, Kate, Kathy and Victoria. You are all doing great!

Day 62 for me.

Have a great day all! :h

[rivergirl]

Thursday, 1 March 2007

Victoria - you are doing so well - I read your posts and just smile - what a great gal you are.
Lori You hit on a key issue there with the hole in your sole statement. After all besides chemistry that is why we drink. Writing here helps, I don't have that answer - but exercise and meditation are good ones that help. That hole is not so bothersome for me this time as other AF times.
I hit 61 days today - didn't have time to post yesterday but it was the 60. I flew home last night after a big corporate meeting that focussed on my work. It was very successful and I was reading a novel that talks frequently about drinking - port (used to one of my favorite treats) chilled chardonnay - and champagne... weird but I could almost taste the drink they poured in the book. - kind of gave me a wake up call that I need to be on my guard full time. I bought an oatmeal raisin cookie from Starbucks when I got off the plane. I'll just keep listening to the CDs and checking in here and being on my guard.

Best to all Riv (Very beautiful here this morning the snow fell heavily last night and the exposed rocks in the river have lovely snow caps on them)

[kitkatsue]

Thursday, 1 March 2007

Good morning to everyone,

Looking forward to March and spring, Lori I know what you mean about filling up a hole. I've been feeling the same way so I have been filling my time looking up neat things on line.

Anyway have to get ready for work!
Have a great day everyone!!!
Kitkatsue

[gabby]

Thursday, 1 March 2007

Hi Paddy and Popeye - good to see you men around here.

bear - good on day 12 those early days are hard

Ilex - good on 30 days AF and good luck on moderating

MARYANNE!!!!!! Day 11 Three WOWS! I am so happy for ya!!!!!!!
(don't mean to act shocked or anything just haven't been around - sorry)

Hi Kate - good for day 3.... I know those days were so hard at the beginning. Glad your here.

Kath my ole buddy - well not old....I mean ole` Big smiles to ya.

Good goin Victoria....that all had to be hard.

Lori, I still do the eat more food thing instead of drink. (why do we do this?)

Accountable - Man....62 days.....you are doin sooooo good! Keep that up!

And oh Rivergirl...you too. I am impressed with both of you!

Hi Kitcatsue - love that kitty shot.

I'm chuggin along you all. Not drinkin.....stressed out and wonderin how I got here. Just keep workin everyone....that's what I have done and it has paid off.

hugs you all