Simply sober September week 4

[rustop59]

Good morning everyone

Just thought I would start us off on our 4th week. Any ideas for an October name?

Becoming very autumnal here, still playing catch up after the summer but gradually getting through my list.

Will check in again later.

Rustop

[dill]

Simply sober September week 4

YOU HAVE THE POWER TO SUCCEED

Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility.
Your life to a large extent is what you make of it.
Nothing will happen by itself.
It will all come your way once you understand
That you have to make it come your way.

Choose the thoughts and actions that will lead you to success.
Nobody can do it for you.
Only you can make it happen.
You're the only one that has to live your life.

The day you take complete responsibility for yourself,
the day you stop making excuses,
that's the day you start on the road to success.

You have the power to succeed at anything.
The power to fulfill your dreams is within you.

?2005 by Max Steingart

I copied this from G on his "Older Drunk" thread a couple weeks back. I gave it to my son and it really seemed to resonate with him. Thought I'd share it here as well. Thanks again to Mr. G.

Thanks to you as well, Rustop, for starting us off. I'll be thinking of names for October. In fact, that sounds like a fine thing to do as I sit at a boring meeting today at my office. No one will be the wiser and I will have my little escape!

OK, so now I feel left out. I never had Swedish pancakes and feel quite deprived! :H I shall have to google it. Cyn, are you making any friends in your new area?

Pmom, your day with your family sounds really nice. I hope FB helps alleviate some of your dad's loneliness. I'll bet it will.

Lav, glad your hens are back in production. Approximately how many eggs are you getting per day at this point?

Rusty, la croix with lime is just fine with me, too! How much do you share with your friends about your reason for not having al to offer? Are these friends you used to drink with or is it a non-issue all the way around?

I had yet another jam-packed day yesterday and by the time I was able to sit down at the computer I was "too pooped to post". (I'm assuming most here are familiar with the slang phrase "too pooped to pop".)

Have any of you ever heard of suboxone or know of its effectiveness in treating opiod dependence?

Have a lovely AF Monday.:h

[Stargazerlily]

Simply sober September week 4

Good morning to all...

I was so busy that I did not get on the computer for a day or so...

Great shopping trip with my daughter, had lots of fun and as usual ate too much. Oh, well, it is Monday and I am back to normal.

Wow, it is really cold here, in the 30s. We had our fireplace working all day yesterday. Time to get out the warmer clothes.

Hey, Rusty, you sound busy and happy. Did you entertain much in the past, or were you traveling all the time?

Dill, loved the poem, it is so exactly right. No more excuses, except what is, take responsibility and the outcome will be so much better. I have heard of suboxone, with mixed results. Withdrawing from opioids is supposed to be very difficult with physical pain, depression, sweating, etc. If suboxone can help, it would probably be good to get someone over the rough spots. I just always am wary of meds as they all have SIDE EFFECTS. Temporary use may be necessary to withdraw and detox, pills are hard to get over. Just like alcohol...

Rustop, thanks for starting us off on this last week of September, it is going by so fast...

Papmom, so good you are back. Lots of family, pets and work...busy is good.

Lav, what a cook, YB is lucky you will feed him.

I don't want the weekend to be over...but off to work in a few hours. Hello to all, have a good day.

[cyntree]

Simply sober September week 4

Thanks, Rustop for starting us out this week. Hello Dill and Star, so glad you had good busy weekends. Yes, Dill, I am pushing myself out of my 'dogs and house' envelope to cultivate friends - even a phone call to life-long friends that I haven't connected with in awhile is a challenge for me (though I did that too last night). Even with a long period AF behind me, I see that the behavior of a kind of 'tunnel vision' is still very much in operation. So, come to think of it, I had better 'take responsibility' for changing that...

I leave Friday to go to Germany to be with Mr T. Instead of being excited, I am a bundle of nerves about how to get everything done, I have a pit in my stomach about leaving the dogs again, etc. (Does it sound like I could use some meditation on how everything with be ALL RIGHT?)

So I will practice angst-be-gone today, and walk the AF path with you all - - - happy Monday.

[Lavande]

Simply sober September week 4

Good late morning friends,

Have been to Curves, fed myself & all animals now I need to turn my attention to work for a while, believe it or not :H

Thanks for getting week 4 going Rustop - time does indeed fly
Someone else has to name the October thread or I'll come up with something completely lame again :H

Dill, taking resposibility for oneself is the hardest thing of all to do but the most important thing, huh? We would remain in our self-made ruts forever just wishing things would change for us
I don't know a whole lot about Suboxone because it's an outpatient treatment. I do know though that like with Antabuse you need to stay away from alcohol & other sedatives beacuse of possible dangerous interactions. Suboxone is a tool used to treat opiod addiction like Antabuse is used to treat alcoholism. But you don't stay on these medications forever, you need a lot of behavioral counseling to move on to a better life.

star, the morning temps in the 40's here are making me happy

cyn, if I could leave tomorrow morning to go to Germany I would be happy & ready to roll!!!!!
Try to put your worries aside & don't let them ruin a nice time! Think about the change of scenery, the adventure, spending some time with Mr T, etc. But, if you would rather send me in your place - just let me know :H

OK, work time. Wishing everyone a great AF day!
Lav

[papmom3]

Simply sober September week 4

Hey all, I need some input quickly. The recruiter is asking if I am 100% committed to commuting to Boston from Worcester as she had someone back out of an interview today due to the commute.

I've run the numbers and with a $25K increase in salary, I would be netting an extran $625 a month. Sounds good until I put that against my monthly budget numbers (which currently I am in the red by at least $200) and the increase drops down to $323. Now take into consideration the pros and cons:

Pros:

great school
good bennies
great salary
would walk at least 30 min a day to get from train station to school (back and forth)
a job I'm much more interested in (although nervous I don't really have the qualifications)
Boston is fun!
Wifi on train
would be able to work, read or nap or watch movies
Remote possibility I could move to Boston area and rent after a year or so

Cons:
Commuting costs would be about $377. I am currently budgeting $435 and I would keep that amount in the budget as I would still need gas for local travel.
I would be gone at least 13 hours a day
I would have to leave my house at 6am to make the train and I am NOT a morning person
The boyz would be alone for at least 13 hours a day
If I brought in my old pet sitter, assuming she is available, it would cost $256/ month if her rates are the same. That would leave me with a paltry $67 a month extra. If I kept my PT job but only worked one weekend a month I might be able to bring in an extra $100/month for a total of $167/month extra.
Remote possibility I could move to Boston area and rent after a year or so-increase housing payment by almost 900/month to do this so not sure the decrease in commuting costs would offset this.

I am really conflicted about this decision. Of course if offered the job my acceptance would still be based on salary and bennies and I could still say no. I think what she is upset about is that they set up the interview and then the person backed out.

Can you see any negatives to telling her so far I am comfortable with the commute and costs even if I end up not taking the job (assuming I get offered)? Should I feel comfortable with the commute and the costs or am I trading time for money?

All input is appreciated.

[dill]

Simply sober September week 4

Pmom, my only input is that you must do what is best for you. You need not worry about the other's situation. Just yours. Decide what you are comfortable with. Proceed from there.

I hope that helps.

[papmom3]

Simply sober September week 4

thanks Dill! You are right of course. I just can't decide what would be best for me and the kids. Actually I do know-find a job in MY city that pays the same as the one in Boston LOL!!

[Lavande]

Simply sober September week 4

Papmom ~

That's a lot to consider
Not to be harsh or anything..........
I wouldn't let the dogs have that big of an influence on your decision. You have to work to support yourself & you have to do what is best for you first. Trying to find a rental in or near an expensive city like Boston with several dogs in tow is going to be quite difficult, don't you think?
Could you possibly find a less expensive way to take care of the dogs like a high school kid looking to earn a few bucks after school? They could let the dogs out & feed them before you get home.
Or like you said, maybe find a similar job closer to home. Wishing you the best regardless :l

[rustop59]

Simply sober September week 4

Good morning everyone

Papmom - it's a difficult one but as usual Lav has given some good advice. Any way to check out the high school kid option before you have to make a choice?

Cyn safe travels, you will enjoy it once you are on the road.

Lav, Rusty, Dill and Star - you all sound well these days. Thanks for that reading Dill,must copy it down.

Monsoon season here, walked this morning in the lashing rain, got fed up waiting for it to stop.

Big hello to everyone I did not mention.

Rustop

[Stargazerlily]

Simply sober September week 4

Good morning...

Papmom, lots to think about, what a decision. You sound as if the cost and commute plus time away from home are negatives that will take you away from you life. It is interesting, when we have a chance to change, we realize the positives in our current situation... To leave dogs alone for 13 hours is too long, I agree. That is one reason we have cats now and not dogs. Some days we are gone 12 hours, and that is too long for the dogs we had in the past. Cats, not such a big deal, but I can tell they still get lonely. I know from your posts you have been very unhappy in your current job, unappreciated, and ready for change. In the new position, if the work is more interesting, that is a big plus, and I know you can do it. I commute now, 35-50 minutes a day, and in the winter it is scary, but I do not regret changing jobs. The stress previously was out of control. Just exploring some of the topics you brought up, hope that is OK. Sometimes there is no right choice...

I have started to keep a dream diary, as I want to remember my dreams. I woke up this morning with no memory of a dream, just a strong message that to feel healthy I have to stay NF, AF, exercise and eat plant foods, not processed and junk. I got the feeling that I am slow at work to give myself time to take care of my health. As I have shared, I have had problems with swelling, allergies, and don't feel quite right. On the weekend I ate out, badly, and too much. I feel kind of sick again and weak. I know that this can be controlled by good health practices and my inner self is confirming this. I will continue to try to go inward to just be more aware of my body, my purpose and my journey. Does anyone else explore their dreams?

To everyone, have a great day.

[papmom3]

Simply sober September week 4

thank you Star, Lav and Rustop. As always you all bring some great insights and opinions to the table.

If I can hire someone to let the dogs out midday without cutting into any gain financially I might get from taking this job, I think I would feel much much better about commuting. I don't feel comfortable hiring a high school kid because of DD's issues. but there is a young married woman a few doors up from me who has rescued 2 dogs-both boxers. I don't know her work schedule but she was out walking them yesterday afternoon. I will broach it with her. She's very nice and understands dogs and I think would be just fine with DD. If I could pay her a nominal fee just to let them out in the yard for 15 min a day, that would do it for me.
Sorry Lav but the boyz do have a big impact on my decisions in life. They are my kids, I am responsible for their health and welfare and leaving them for 13 hours with no potty break is neglect in my book. I have to have balance in these decisions. It does no good if I am 1.5 hours away, trying to learn a new job and be a leader and I'm all consumed with worry. Thing always happen for a reason and I am confident this will work itself out for the best.
Yes, star, I am very unhappy in my job and very disillusioned with how I've been treated by hiring managers in general. No one will give me a plausible reason why I was not hired for 2 positions and why I was denied the promotion. Although there are some perks to this job, the negatives outweigh them and I MUST move on. I have hopefully 20 years left to work and I want those 20 years to be happy and fulfilling.
You are also so right in how we treat our bodies. I have been abusing mine for far too many years to the point where I can almost envision me being "one of those" ladies who have to get around in a scooter if something doesn't change drastically. This week is the perfect opportunity to start to make some changes. baby steps for sure but I need to start moving forward.

Love you all! Have a gorgeous day! Sorry for the monsoon Rustop!

[cyntree]

Simply sober September week 4

Wow - PMom, it sounds like you have gotten very clear on all this through the input of Lav, Dill and Star. I'm sorry that I didn't pop on again last night to give you support. I agree, no matter what job you have, you have to factor in the dog care, I completely understand that. Your neighbor with the rescue boxers does sound like she could handle DD - after a lifetime of owning boxers (before my current weimys), I can attest that she must have some good dog skills to be handling her rescues. You sound very clear that the commute itself would be no problem and the job would be a good challenge. Best of luck on all this!

Lav, your good-hearted comments to me yesterday helped get me to a new place. I have already realized that I torment myself with worry, and recently saw that it was becoming a habit, but yesterday I got a new look at the behavior...after reading your comments, I 'surfed' a little here on MWO - something I do about once a year! I stumbled across a posting by "Nancy" - not sure where I found it now - that had a great quote from Pema Chodron (I'll try to re-find it and post the link). That post had given rise to a huge discussion that I just skimmed, but I saw someone post a recommendation for Chodron's book "Getting Unstuck", so I've downloaded it (with hopes that I can figure out how to put it on my phone to listen to as I travel). The idea that has captured me is that: though everything is impermanent, we often spend a lot of time trying to make ourselves comfortable with the way things are at a particular moment (especially if that moment is uncomfortable) by investing ourselves in a behavior that is harmful (drinking, worrying etc). That concept lit a little candle in my mind/body...

Star - I used to do a lot of dream work, and I want to get at it again because I am having some interesting dreams since I moved. Again, in an curious coincidence, I just heard an interview with an Englishman who has written several books on dream work - ?Ross is his name? I'll try to find out and let you know. Good for you for listening for that inner path...

Rustop, I'm sorry about the rains for you as well - hang in there, and good for you for walking anyway!

Cheers all for an AF day - hope you are well -

[Lavande]

Simply sober September week 4

Well,
My plan for today was shot to hell last night at 10:45 pm when my DIL messaged me that she forgot to schedule the babysitter for this morning......
SO, I am watching the boys until my son gets home from work hopefully by 10ish this morning. On the one and I am grateful to be flexible enough to help out but on the other I'm a bit annoyed for still not having complete freedom after 35 years worth of parenting, if you know what I mean

Papmom, i'm sure you'll figure out what's best for you & the dogs. We would all be happy, I'm sure to see you treated better at work:l

Star, i have been making every effort to listen to my inner voice for some time now. I ignored it for way too long while I was busy with jobs, children & a spouse who was never capable of being happy.
There is no harm in listening to those messages we receive while we sleep - they are coming from a good source

Rustop, sorry about your weather. I'm sure you will find some interesting indoor projects to keep you busy. You can always fly over & paint few rooms for me :H

Oe kid is up,waiting for the second one to join us, fun, fun!
Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Tuesday.

Lav

[Lavande]

Simply sober September week 4

Cross post cyn!
I'm glad to hear your thoughts are changing