Simply sober September week 4

[Lavande]

Simply sober September week 4

Good morning Abbers!

Well the rain is sticking around here for a while - oh well!

Chill, I hope you can find some fulfilling employment soon. There's just something wrong with working for the paycheck on;y......
Yes, my younger brother has lived his entire life different & away from the rest of us. He is just a different person altogether & I sometimes wonder if he's actually related to the rest of us :H
His longevity will be due to his lifestyle choices, no doubt.

Greetings Dill. Star, Papmom, IMT, Rustop & everyone jumping in today.
Trying to decide where to go & what to do with the girls later today. I'm sure we'll think of something

Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Friday!
Lav

[dill]

Simply sober September week 4

Greetings Sober Ones,
IMT, thanks for stopping in and letting us know you are doing well. I'm really happy for you!

There was a bit of a fog this morning. I went outside in the pre-dawn hour and stood looking out at the fog on the fields. There was a deep sense of tranquility in that pre-dawn fog. I wished I could bottle it up and take it with me!

Chill, Star, Lav, Rustop, Pmom, et al., enjoy a peaceful AF Friday evening and night.

[Stargazerlily]

Simply sober September week 4

Good morning...

Up early, after an early night to sleep. I was tired as we had gone on a fall ride...drove around and stopped at various places to view the fall foliage, lakes, points of interet. It was fun, and I am so happy I was outside and able to appreciate the area, as it is very beautiful.

Lav, I am sure you will find something fun to do...

Dill, how lovely, predawn fog. I enjoyed a similar landscape in the early morning a few days ago...the midwest is really lovely. I hope to get outside today, too.

Chill, I think I do need to invest in a gym membership. I agree that being fit and releasing energy through exercise does affect mental health, besides the physical component. However, I love being outside, too. It is chilly here this morning, so I am getting my sweatshirts and fall coats out. Finding meaningful work is a challenge...with acceptable hours, pay, etc. Just remember, (as I remind myself) if it doesn't work out, you can always look for something else.

Enjoying my morning cup of coffee...hope all of you do too...have a great Saturday.

[Lavande]

Simply sober September week 4

Good morning friends,

Ugh, the stink bugs have returned Big time!!!!
I spent most of the day yesterday vacuuming up these stinkers. Figured out they are actually entering via the fireplace. Using a flashlight I could see hundreds of them up in the chimney They're ugly, stinky & depressing.....
Brown Marmorated Stink Bug — Entomology — Penn State University

Star, these bugs know that your cold weather is on the way here
Glad you got to enjoy the foliage yesterday - leaves are still green here.

Greetings to everyone & wishes for a fabulous AF day!
Lav

[papmom3]

Simply sober September week 4

HAPPY SASSY SATURDAY EVERYONE!!

I had a wonderful overnight at the Cape visiting with my friend. We took beach walks, looked for Great Whites (didn't see any), and explored the main streets and back roads (borrowed from Chronicle, the New England TV magazine on every week nite at 7:30pm) of the outer Cape. She showed me places no tourist would ever find. So neat. She also took me to the pond her family took me to one time while in High School and I was visiting them for a few summer days. This pond has always stuck in my mind. IT was the cleanest, most pristine, calming and restorative pond I'd ever swum in. I remember laying on a float for hours, just letting the sun warm me and watching the fishies below me, yards from shore. I was never able to find that pond again by myself so she took me there. Exactly how I remembered it although this time I didn't get to swim. Heaven. We had long talks-bless her soul she tried so hard to solve all my problems. We are such kindred spirits!! The boyz had a wonderful time too-lots of exercise and new smells/sights/noises. It is such a different lifestyle down there and my dear friend has been given such a gift to be able to live out the rest of her life there with her dear new hubby of almost 1 year. Her mom and dad stay 4 miles away all summer/fall, and her sis also has a house there along with tons of cousins. I believe I may have to step up efforts to find a job down there. My vision of walking the nearby beaches every morning with the boyz is very strong and it is a lifestyle that seems more natural to me than any other. I believe I would finally be comfortable in my own skin down there. I've always been a water child.
For those of you not on FB, here a are few pics I snapped, just to give you an idea:

The View from my bedroom window Thursday Morning:


Closest we came to seeing the real thing:


Picnic Lunch in Orleans:








Yesterday I invited my hoarder friend over for a sewing day. I cleaned the house in the morning and we spent all afternoon on our projects then had dinner. She's getting a new puppy in 3 weeks (something called a Picard breed. Not even recognized by the AKC). Didn't tell me of course because she knew I wouldn't be supportive. I was updating her windows phone for her and saw some emails from the breeder. The woman is out of freakin' control and she won't admit it. Oh yes, and all the cleaning she told me she did over the past two weeks? Nada. House is worse than what I saw last year. I was very frank with her, told her she needed professional help but nothing would change until she accepted that. I also told her I knew she told me what I wanted to hear and that I don't believe anything she tells me anymore. The breeder is not doing a home visit, shame on him. I know she takes great medical care of her animals but to bring a puppy into that filth is just not fair. She says she'll have the front part of the house all cleaned for him. Sure she will. Good thing they have asthma meds for dogs now. Anyway, that was the downside of a wonderful trip and a great vacation so far. I did get the baby quilt panels all sewn which would have taken me 2 class sessions to do. I think the rest is fairly easy.


Everyone sounds great. Chill-revamping your resume is a very smart move. You have more skills than you know you do so don't be cheap when it comes to putting them down. Ask friends and family for your strong suits. Problem solving, time management, teamwork-all things employers look for. In fact, I read an article that said they would rather have a new employee who lacked some skills that could be easily trained who fit in with the company than a new employee who had all the skills down pat but wasn't a good fit. Good luck and keep and open mind!

Lav-rained dogs and dogs yesterday here!! Hope you had a nice sleepover with daughter and GD. How is Matilda doing?

Rustop-so happy to hear your rain has stopped. Yes, it must be nice to live in a more temperate climate so outdoor activity is not curtailed too much. I remember some pics you posted (I think it was you?) and your landscape is awesome. No wonder long walks are a part of life for you!

Star-good luck with the career change. I've gone through 3 of them. Its not all that bad. Kind of exciting really. Looking forward to the next one!

Dill-you sound so peaceful these days. Thank you so much for the quotes. I do enjoy them!

Cyn-have you left for Germany yet?

A cloudy damp day here. Maybe more showers. Will do some light grocery shopping for me and dogs, some laundry and possibly more cleaning. Yardwork may have to wait until next spring :H. My friend left her new/used embroidery machine with me, not sure why, but I will fire it up and see what software is installed and try to figure it out. Its a regular sewing machine with a computer and accessories to do embroidery. Should be interesting!! Lav, I may be calling you!!

Have a great day everyone! It's good to be AF!!

[Rusty]

Simply sober September week 4

Good Morning Sober Ones,

How do you feel about October Optimists or AF October Optimists? They're probably names we've used before but just checkin.

Lav-I have the same problem with stinkbugs and I'll be damned....you're right....they're coming through my chimney. Time to call the exterminator. I'm glad you got to spend your time with your daughter and Lily.

Chill-you mentioned CV in your previous e-mail. What does CV mean? I'm glad you found a gym.

IMT-wow, you are really racking up the AF time, and you sound like you're happy and full of energy. Awesome!:goodjob:

Dill-thank you once again for your quote. I thought of it several times during the week. I'm glad you are able to be fully present for your grandchildren, and I know your son appreciates it.

Cyn-I hope you're having a fabulous time in Germany.

Rustop-I give you credit, along with most Europeans, to be willing to take long walks in the rain. I am a fair weather walker/runner. If it's raining, I'm not going....because I absolutely hate carrying an umbrella. You're always so positive, and I need that positive energy.

Pap:lI think of you often, and earlier this week, you were on my mind, so I Googled "What to do if you're passed over for a promotion" and "Job Seekers' Support Groups in MA" and there were a bunch of links on both. I know you've probably looked into this alread, but just thought I would share with you. Love love love the quilt.

Can you guys stand 1 more story about my aunt? She and her husband live in Alexandria, VA, where I was working last week. Even though she has been sober for going on 5 years, the aftermath of her alcoholism has taken such a toll on her body, and her marriage. A few times each year, she has to have an endoscopy so she can have pre-cancerous lesions, caused by 30 years of drinking, removed from her esophagus. She has heart disease, and a host of other issues. When I had dinner with my aunt and uncle last Monday, even though their marriage is better, it's still not good. My uncle made this snide comment about how rather than fully enjoying his retirement, he spends a huge amount of time driving my aunt to all her doctors' appts. They sleep in separate bedrooms. The irreversible devastation AL causes. It reinforced my commitment to remain AF. I know my aunt is filled with regret that she didn't address her alcoholism sooner and be committed to her sobriety. She said she couldn't believe I quit drinking without going to rehab and AA. I said, "those two things were never options for me."

LBH-can't wait to hear about your mini-vacation in Seattle.

Looking forward to enjoying Fall with all of you. A shoutout to people I miss: Sooty, sdlovespackers, Shelley, and Dewdrop, FlyAway...please drop in and say hello.

To everyone I didn't address, have a wonderful AF Saturday. I will be outside enjoying this spectacular weather without a pesky AL monkey on my back.

[Rusty]

Simply sober September week 4

Papmom-sorry, cross post! I love the pictures of the Cape. Oooohhh....what a view! I'm a water baby, too. When's your birthday? Mine is Feb. 10 so I am an Aquarius. My aunt and uncle (the ones I spoke of in my post) were just in the Cape two weeks ago at a wedding. I simply must get there some day. Wow, you have a hoarder friend....what does she hoard? My uncle told me his brother hoards WINDOWS....his house, garage, and his front lawn are stacked with them. And this is a guy who has a Master's Degree. Ok, time for grocery shopping and errands. But, I'll be back.

[papmom3]

Simply sober September week 4

Hi Rusty,
so good to see you again. I'm so sorry about your Aunt and Uncle. It sounds like you Aunt has taken responsibility for her past actions and is trying to live the best life she can but your Uncle has not forgiven her and is bitter. Not a nice way to live that's for sure. I do hope things improve for them soon.

I'm a Saggitarius-not sure where I get the love of water from but its always been there.

My friend hoards animals and stuff. She won't admit that is what she is-she still says she has a "clutter" problem that has gotten out of hand. She admits it is all too overwhelming for her to tackle on her own but again, I think she just agrees with whatever I say to avoid confrontation. She will NEVER clean that house up and it will fall down around her and the dogs.
She has 2 horses, a dozen or so sheep and 11 dogs: paps, border collies, GSD and a cattle dog. her new puppy will be #12. We went down to MD last September to get her latest BC. I will NOT be accompanying her to NJ to pick up this new dog. Today she is at a Leonberger Specialty. I guarantee she will have a puppy of that breed before next year is over. She can't stop. She sees, she wants, she gets. She also hoards cars. She has a pickup, an Element and 2 weeks ago bought a Dodge Caravan. There are only 2 rooms you can actually walk through in her house-her very small LR and you can barely get to the couch, and her kitchen but only on one side of the penisula. She has a huge Great Room off the kitchen that is so packed with stuff you can't even open the door. It is not finished either-needs drywall and a floor. She plans on retiring next year but she has blown through all of her retirement fund from the hospital already and will only be living on SS. No one in her family will intervene but I guess that is normal. Her grandkids cannot visit her. She has to go to them. She says she only has one storage unit but I think she is lying about that. If it wasn't for our bond with quilting and DD, I would not give her the time of day. But she loves DD and would do anything for him and I love quilting and don't want to give up my weekly class. I fit in and love everyone in it. We've all gotten close.
It is obvious I just can't go to her house anymore, or at least not go in it. I get to angry seeing the squalor her dogs live in.

Anyway, glad you are having such gorgeous weather. Ours was last week.
Thank you for the info on the job seekers. I haven't actually looked at any of those groups because I am actually employed whereas I think they are not. But it won't hurt to get more info.

:l :h

[Lavande]

Simply sober September week 4

Papmom, maybe a call to the local officials about your friends living conditions might spark a light under her butt to clean the place up ~ just sayin
It's a shame people get like that & it just shows how untreated mental/emotional issues often put others (even animals) in harms way. She probably has fire safety issues in her home, infestations, etc.
Well, I'm glad yuo enjoyed your time away! I'm a December baby too & like the water but have never felt driven to live nearby. Maybe I should give it a try someday.

Rusty, there's no point in calling an exterminator for the stink bugs. No one has developed a product that works on them yet. I can't have chemicals in my house anyway because of allergies & the kids. Yesterday's massive invasion seems to have come to a halt, thank goodness.
Not sure what to say about your aunt & uncle except that maybe some of your uncle's unhappiness is his problem & not a result of her past behavior. YB was never a happy person, regardless of what anyone else was doing & that hasn't changed.

I think I am really tired tonight. The past few days have been really intense, for one reason or another. Wishing everyone a great AF night!

[dill]

Simply sober September week 4

Good morning Lav, Rusty, Pmom, Star and all to come,
My SIL is a hoarder as was her mother before her. In each case, their living quarters became literally pathways amid junk. Newspapers and magazines were a biggy for SIL because she liked to learn. I haven't been to see her in years now as they are divorced. I wonder if the advent of the internet has solved any of her hoarding problems.

I doubt it.

Rusty, I appreciate your stories about your Aunt. They are food for thought. I kind of agree with Lav that after 5 years if your Uncle is still resentful the problem may be his, not hers and maybe he was a large factor in her years of running to the bottle. When I hear about her health issues I wonder how very much she had to drink to bring those on or if she also had a genetic predisposition to them. Like everyone else, I suppose, I see a part of myself in the stories of other alcoholics. I do hope your Aunt finds the AF life quite livable and even enjoyable. You must be an inspiration to her with your positive attitude and gratitude seeping out of every pore.:h

Looking forward to another beautiful day here. The colors are coming on very nicely here in southern Ohio. Enjoy an AF Sunday, friends.

[Lavande]

Simply sober September week 4

Good morning Dill & everyone!

Sunny & 45 degrees here in southeastern PA!
The leaves remain green & still on the trees around here. Mid-October usually brings about some color.

No kids to watch today so I'll be completely on my own. I guess I could choose to use my time wisely & start cleaning windows or something

At some point I'll probably end up in the kitchen - I'm in the mood for something tastey!!!!
Wishing everyone a terrific AF Sunday!
Lav

[Rusty]

Simply sober September week 4

Good Morning Everyone,

Wow, it's going to be another gorgeous day here....and an unhung one, too.

Dill....you always have something so kind to say to me...thank you for your sweet words.Yes, my aunt is soooo happy with her AF life. I didn't always want to have contact with her right after my family confronted me. Against my wishes, my mother told my aunt that they had done an intervention with me, and right away, my aunt called me, urging me to go to treatment, AA, etc. Hence, I wanted to have nothing to do with her for awhile and I told her so. Yes, regarding my aunt's health issues....oh, yup, ALL related to drinking....the aftermath of suffering a brain injury after falling off her 2nd floor deck onto her cement patio below, headfirst, taking diet pills(addicted there, too) whilst drinking strained her heart so badly, etc. Lav is right though... some of his resentment is baggage he had long before my aunt started drinking. Lav, I thought of you because you've mentioned YB's mother and my Uncle John's mother was the same way....a mean old bag of a person, and a narcissist, yes. Dill, my apologies that I didn't answer your question about how my family/friends have responded to my AF status. Fortunately, they never question why....and I'm so lucky. Conversely, when I stumbled off the AF path back in May, it happened to be in front of my family, and I got no stern looks at all because they knew I'd jump back on the sober bus the next day, which I did. My friends always respected my privacy and when I said, "I think I'm done drinking....it just doesn't fit in my life anymore, they were fine with that answer. Lucky me. I cannot imagine what people go through who so desperately want to stop drinking, and yet are surrounded by only drinking friends. So you had in-laws that were hoarders, too. Geez....it seems more common that I thought. The colors here are fabulous, too and I'm getting ready to go outside for a run. Dill, how is your son doing? Did he find a job?

Lav-I hope you have a peaceful day-free of babysitting, stink bugs, etc. Thanks for the tip on the stink bugs. Bummer for you that you can't get rid of them. I also have box elders everywhere, too.

Pap-I, too, was angered about your friend's hoarding of animals. Inexcusable. You are a good friend to have, and I am especially glad to know that you are setting boundaries (like not going in her house) for yourself.

Ok, I have to run now....a little bit of work and then exercise, then an afternoon with my mom and sister. To everyone I didn't mention, have a fabulous AF Sunday!

[Rusty]

Simply sober September week 4

Sorry Lav-cross post! No babysitting:clapping2::cheering:

[papmom3]

Simply sober September week 4

rainy cold day here in NE but I am thankful as I get to do more sewing and laundry and ease back into preparing for 6 more weeks of working 7 days a week. Sounds horrible but when I see that paycheck get deposited it means I might just break even this time.

yesterday my battery died again so when AAA came, I had them install a new one as even when he jumped the old one, it didn't hold the charge after running for 10 min. Luckily I've been very frugal this month and was able to pay for it without running to Dad. Bad enough he paid for the brakes.

Anyway, I went food shopping and did some other errands yesterday as well as worked on my budget and did a little preliminary job hunting on the Cape. One huge hosipital down there, really the only one, and they are implementing a new system and have tons of job openings in IT. I may go for one of them even tho the rental market down there is iffy (you can get good deals for 9 months but have to vacate over the summer and then rents shoot sky high). No harm in trying.

Lav-animal control has been called on her numerous times by a vengeful (she says) neighbor. It turns out she own ANOTHER horse that is being stabled at this woman's barn. It almost sounds like the woman has acquired the horse by default or won't return it to my friend. Either way she is convinced my friend doesn't take care of her animals and twice a year calls AC. They come out, look around, check the horses, sheep and any dogs that are out and declare everything fine. To my knowledge they have never been inside the house. They do know the number of animals she has as they can count the livestock and she has to declare all the dogs on her kennel license. So, if they are not concerned, it won't do any good for me to call and it would just cause huge trouble for me. If the breeder she is getting the puppy from doesn't see fit to do a home visit, then shame on him. The puppy will do fine, hopefully not develop any allergies and live a long life. I guess my main concern is that if she gets sick or passes, what happens to all the animals? I've already told her I can't take even one dog.

Dill-interesting about your former SIL. I do think its more common than anyone imagines and I do strongly believe it is a form of addiction.

Lav-yes, her house is a fire waiting to happen. Scary.

Rusty-you do indeed have a great group of friends and apart from the intervention, your family has been so supportive as well. I'm glad you forgave your Aunt for her role in all of this. She had nothing but your recovery at heart and although you didn't do it the way she did, you have been soooo successful and have embraced the AF life to its fullest. You are such a role model and inspiration.

Lav-enjoy your non GK day and find something fun to do!!

Dill-enjoy your crisp fall day. You too Rusty!!

[Stargazerlily]

Simply sober September week 4

Good morning, another beautiful fall day...

Hoarding is about anxiety, I think, and even with treatment, people don't change unless they want to. Kind of like drinking, we don't change until we are ready. I feel really sorry for kids who have to live in hoarder situations, and the poor animals. Yuck. We had a guy down the street who was a hoarder, he died, was found two weeks later and had to be carried out over his junk. Sad and disgusting at the same time. And you are right Pap, family members distance themselves as it is so upsetting.

Rusty, I have met people who have been helped by AA and insist it is the ONLY way to get sober. But, we on this site know that is not true. It is a good organization, all meetings have their own flavor, some people are able to utilize it, others are not. It is a shame that the courts force people to go to AA meetings...but the rehab and treatment places always shove AA down people's throats, as they do not know what works themselves. Your Aunt sounds like a lovely person, so sorry to hear about her health issues.

Dill, hoarding can sometimes be taught if you grow up that way. The emphasis on things as important for memories, love, etc., is misplacment of feelings. I say, love something that can love you back. People. Animal hoarding is so cruel. My daughter adoped a dog that was in a hoarding situation, and he was caged all the time. Isn't that just horrible? That doggie has a good life now.

Lav, since the stink bugs are in the fireplace, can you make a fire and smoke them out? I have a few outside, but will close off my fireplace for now. They are stinky.

Just want to say I am so grateful for this thread...reading other threads and there seems to be people fighting and other stuff, we are all, always respectful and helpful. So, I again, want you all to know how very grateful I feel for all of you.

I will be going for a walk and enjoying the outdoors, hope you all get a chance too, also. Have a great day.