Simply Sober October - Week 3

[Rusty]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Good Morning Sober October Belles and Beaus,

My apologies for being MIA....I have been reading, though.

Nellie-good to see you here again! Oh yes, I think that cockiness has done many a person here at MWO, even after 3 or 4 years of continuous sobriety. Stay with us. We like having you here.

Sausage and Blonde-how are you doing today? Saucy-feeling any stronger?

Yesterday, I spent a lovely day with my new friend, Shelby, whom I met on the plane to Pittsburgh. We walked along the lake path for two hours, and it was so good to be with someone who enjoys the simple beauty of the fall colors. Like her father, she's a photographer and she was delighted to take pictures of EVERYTHING, and kept repeating how grateful she was that I had invited her. She's a lovely person and we talked non-stop....our day came to a close at 11:00 p.m.:H

I didn't mention something to all of you earlier last week. I have to retake 6 questions on the environmental exam I took last week after my class. Yes, I got 6 questions wrong and must retake them within 3 months or no certificate. All the memories of me flunking the exam last May kept flooding back, and I was determined not to drink over it. As most of you know, in a moment of numbness and despair, I drank after flunking the automotive exam in May (on the 3rd retake) by 1 question. Still, I guess I know why they call this recovery. I have had to change my 51 years of self-doubt habit, and fight off the overwhelming feeling that just because I flunked the automotive, that I will not necessarily fail the environmental exam. Despite numerous efforts to overcome the constant feelings of self-doubt, they are so ingrained in me. Changing my thinking has been a real journey. At dinner last night, Shelby and I were talking about how important it is to sever ties with toxic people in our lives. She mentioned one friend who she said was a mean drunk. I didn't tell Shelby about my AL problem and how I could be very snide when I drank, but told her that I supported her to decision to end the friendship. I told her I had done the same and felt incredible relief that I dumped some way-too-heavy baggage in my life.

Lav-so sorry about your hard drive!:upset: I hope your customers are understanding and I'm sending you good vibes that your data could be recovered. Had you done a back-up at all? I have an external drive and I back up my computer weekly. So YB has a pipe dream to move to FL? SIGH.

Pap-maybe just letting the U run its course is the way to go. Maybe if you're not so focused on it, and start pursuing fun hobbies, etc., that dream job will fall in your lap when you're not looking.

LBH-I loved your description of your road trip and the Navajo culture. I love how you find exhillarating(sp?) and simple joy in welcoming experiences with different cultures.

Chill-good for you for deciding to part ways with Mr. S.:goodjob:

Ok, beautiful day here and I am off for a run along the lake path and some rigorous exercise.

Big hellos to everyone I didn't mention...Rustop, Dill, Star, Cyntree, Kas, IMT...have a fabulous AF Sunday.

xo
Rusty
AF4ME4EVER

[ladybirdheart]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

I also keep coming up with same thing everywhere I turn which is to stop resisting what is, to not seek solace, or success, pleasure, or security outside what is already here. It is so easy, effortless really, but I have to practice holding on to it. Having nice things and accomplishing various goals can be fine in their place just as solving practical problems feels good, but one's sense of self, safety, or happiness needs to remain separate, just a simple connection to what is. It is liberating, Pap, as you noted. Dill had a quote the other day about the space that arises when something is lost and how we can fill it peacefully with who we are. It is certainly easy to apply that to losing bad habit like alcohol, but I think he meant it with regard to the loss of our illusions and even to people, pets, hopes, and more material things that are genuinely precious to us as well. I am with you in your "tests", Rusty, it is so elemental when we are used to breezing through many things and are suddenly faced with "no". The lessons for us are probably greater than the specific questions per se. Back later. Love, Ladybird.

[dill]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

It's been an extra busy weekend for me with little time for the internet. It was busy in a good way, so I'll not complain. It was all just taking care of things that needed attention, switching out summer to winter clothes being one of the items on the agenda. There was a farewell party last night for a colleague. It was at the home of a non-drinker so al was not a part of the equation. But OMG! There was a variety of desserts. I must have had at least 1000 calories! This friend moved to the country a few years ago and has really gotten into the spirit of rural life. She has 4 horses, 3 dogs, several cats, a rabbit, and she had goats but got rid of them recently. Her dogs are so sweet. She has a pyranees mountain dog, a sheltie and a cocker spaniel, all were well groomed. I got tired just thinking about the grooming! I think her hb helps a lot with the animals, especially the horses. In addition, she has 4 children (2 in college) and she works full time as an occupational therapist. I guess it's good she doesn't drink, she wouldn't have the time!!!

Rusty, hang in there. Well done on not turning to the bottle. It would most definitely not help.
LBH, your mention of my quote from last week made me think that it would be a good idea for me to review The Power of Now. I downloaded 3 Tolle books to my ipod. Did you ever listen to A New Earth? I also downloaded a Dean Koontz book. I happened across an interview and became fascinated with his life story and how it affected his world view and his writing.
Chill, Pappy, Nellie :welcome: (great to see you back, although I'm sorry for the reason. You'll get back on track!), Lav, Rustop, Blonde, Sausage, Star, everyone, Have a great AF Monday.

[Lavande]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Good morning friends,

The sun is rising, not too cold outside, nice

Rusty, I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now. I feel for you having to face those big exams. I just don't feel I could or even want to face one again. The last I did was about 8 years ago when I got myself certified to be a legal nurse consultant. The funny thing is I never did do anything with the certification once I had it & that was largely due to being depressed & trying to drink it away
Hang in there because you are in a much better head space these days, things will work out

Greetings sister Dill, LBH, papmom, Star, Chill & everyone else who jumps in today.
I'm off to the dentist - yay......

Have a great AF Monday!
Lav

[Stargazerlily]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Good afternooon to all...

I have been working on getting better, with nothing interesting to post.

Rusty, I hate those darn tests! I have taken enough of them in the past few years and it is so anxiety provoking. Good luck to you.

LBH, I have been trying to stay unattached, calm, and sometimes it works, othertimes it doesn't.

Dill, you sound well, the party sounded fun. No alcohol always means a better time with everyone themselves, not overdoing it.

Lav, I too feel tired of working at this time in my life. I need time off.

To all, have a great day.

[nellie78]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

day three and three words: i feel like ME, i feel RELIEVED and I feel FREE! x nighty night! and thank you everyone once again, all so so kind!

[papmom3]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

evening all!

Rusty-I'm so sorry you have to face more exams!! But you definitely sound better this time around. Remember, if it's meant to be it will be. I'm so glad you are not going to turn to AL this time but face your fears, anxieties and frustrations head on. I bet the outcome will be very different because of your new attitude!

Star-sure hope you start feeling better soon. I'm sure stress had something to do with this cold coming on so soon after your son moved back home. Hang in there!!

Dill-you were so productive this weekend! good for you! What a nice party! Your friend sounds like my friend with all the animals but big difference-she's not doing it alone and is able to recognize when she needs to pare down. My friend just got yet ANOTHER dog this weekend-the puppy she bought from NJ. Sigh. I don't even know his name yet and refuse to ask. She said he is a lot of dog and very different from anything she's ever had. Well, she's made her bed...... Anyway, your friend has such an interesting trio of dogs!! Love all those breeds!

LBH-funny you should mention being faced with "NO" in your post. One of my favorite things to do on Sundays now before work is to tune into the Joel Osteen infomercial/sermon at 8am. I really like him and his themes every sunday seem to really speak to me. Having just heard a NO on Friday, wouldn't you know his theme on Sunday was getting through all the NOs to get to the YES. Its out there-but one never knows how many NOs we have to go through before finding it. Rusty-your NO on the exam could have been your last one and you'll finally see/hear the YES. Same with me. Check out his website if you ever get the chance: Joel Osteen Ministries

Nellie-so happy you are feeling like yourself again! hang in there and hang with us!!

Nothing to report from this weekend or today. Same old same old.

[Lavande]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

:yay: The computer guy just called to say he's extracted 50,000 embroidery files from the fried hard drive :yay: He's going to put them on a flash drive & mail it right back to me
I still have to go buy a new computer for the long run but at least I'll have my 10 years worth of work back.
I am definitely going with an online backup service called 'Carbonite' from now on. I'm getting too old to be terrorized by power failures, aging computer hard drives, etc

Greetings Star, hope you are feeling better today. I went to the dentist this morning to have a tooth prepped for a crown so I spent the afternoon drooling on myself as the Novocaine wore off - geez, getting old is not fun.

Dill, you did have a great weekend ~ nice!

papmom, sometimes 'same old same old' is comforting!

Nellie, glad you are doing well!
Greetings LBH & everyone!

[papmom3]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Great news Lav and thank God for computer tech geeks!! I'm so happy you didn't lose your files!! Hope you can get a super nifty new PC that will last for a while. The online backup sounds great-make sure they can also backup actual programs, not just the files within. When I got my new laptop last year and bought a 1 trig harddrive to transfer everything, I didn't realize the programs and exec files didn't transfer. I had to reinstall just about everything! What a pain! but once I did, the linked datafiles went right in.

I seem to remember drooling as a kid after novacaine so I don't think you have to blame age on this one!

[Stargazerlily]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Good morning to all...

Nothing new to report, just trying to get through the week, before taking off on Thursday. I agree with Pap that stress was part of getting this infection.

Nellie, good to hear you are feeling better, just think, you can hold on to that feeling by staying AF. It is so worth it. How do we forget the bad feelings? Yet we do. Alcohol holds nothing good, just illness, grief, and not being who we really are. The great part of this journey is that we can truly be ourselves, healthy and productive, with integrity and peace. Finding balance is never easy, but more possible being AF.

Anyone watch the debates last night? I did, and my view has not changed.

To all, have a great day.

[Lavande]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Good morning Star & everyone!

Yep, I watched the debate last night Star.......I still feel the same way too

I'm watching the grandkids today, they'll be here in one hour so I'd get better showered & otherwise prepped
Have a great AF Tuesday everyone!
Lav

[Stargazerlily]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Good morning to all...

Quiet on this thread. I have been reading threads for Just Starting Out and General Discussions, there are so many opinions on quitting, staying quit, moderation, etc. IMO what works for one person, may not work for another. Just like other illnesses, we respond differently to various cures. This is a difficult subject, and I am glad that we are all in agreement to be nonjudgemental and kind to each other. No one wants to drink too much and get sick...but over time it can become a way of life. So, I appreciate the fact that there are so many here with their various experiences, willing t share and help each other.

I do recognize that being humble, willing to do whatever it takes, can be a factor in making progress. But not always. Lots of people die from drinking, so again, whatever it takes to get and remain sober and healthy.

Lately, I have been struggling with getting older. There is just not the same joy in life, and the physical deterioration is scary. Even with healthy eating and exercising. Does anyone else experience some of this?

Don't want to be a downer, but just want feedback.

Have a good day. We are having really warm beautiful weather today in the Midwest. Wow.

[papmom3]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Hi Star and all to come-yes the journey is different for everyone and the sickness, passing out, covering up does become a way of life until one either dies or doesn't want to live that way anymore. It took tremendous effort for me to quit-AL had become my best and almost only friend-despite 5 loving animals at home, AL was what I looked forward to the most. But the sickness got to be unbearable and the excuses to stay home running out. This is why I know I don't have another quit in me-it was a comfortable life apart fromt the hangovers. But of course I was delusional and in denial. I am one of the lucky ones so far who haven't relapsed after significant AF time and unless I lose my memory totally (could happen ) I don't think I will. I see my future in my Aunt who at 86 has just suffered her first TIA/stroke and now has kidney issues. Heavy drinker in my opinion but only at night when cocktail hour came around. Not sure she drank alone but might have. Anyway, I want to lessen my chances as much as possible to get to that point where my independence is now being compromised and decisions are being made on my behalf and that means no AL ever again. And yes, the signs of aging are in my face daily. My whole core is weak, I still barely have enough energy to get through the day, never mind do the right thing and take the dogs for walks when I get home or on my free weekends. My back and hips hurt constantly and when I look in the mirror I see a much older version of myself (and fatter) and I don't like it. My mind still thinks I am 20 but when I can't put on hose or a sock I get a good dose of reality. I try to think of a time in the future when I will be 60 lbs lighter, have more flexibility and stamina, have an aboundance of money so i am not stressed every single minute and not obscessing over my bank account, enjoy going to work, can retire early and can run with my dog again. I am working towards most of those goals-I'm getting exercise 3x/week now, I'm working diligently on my budget, looking for angles to decrease expenses and trying to eat healty through out the day. Night time and the sugar crazies are still an issue.
I am determined not to age complacently!! I'll try for gracefully but it won't be meekly and resignedly. I see the last half of my 50s as being better than the last 20 years. We'll see if I see the future correctly in time.

And on that note, hope it was the feedback you were looking for Star, I will say G'Day and get ready for another glorious day of data entry and zumba after work!!

:l

[Lavande]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Good morning friends,

At least I think it's morning, there is no sun.......

I admit to having a fear of growing older but I come by it honestly. I spent nearly 30 years around older people in all sorts of shapes & conditions. There were damn few who really impressed me as someone who 'aged well'. My own Mom was healthy all of her life then suddenly taken down by a series of autoimmune diseases & was gone by age 65. I will be turning 60 in less than 14 months.

I refuse to be victimized by all this so I am being as pro-active as possible
Keeping my quits, eating what makes my body happy, getting my behind to Curves, keeping my thinking positive with lots of reading & meditation, keeping my mood balanced with Amoryn is my PLAN
Also - letting go of my need to control everything, stepping back a bit & trusting the universe to take care of things helps

Wishing everyone a great AF Humpday. I'm off to Curves & deliver eggs, then a few hours of babysitting then back here where hopefully that flash drive is waiting for me in my mailbox. Let's hope!

[ladybirdheart]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Greetings on a gorgeous afternoon. Star, thanks for prompting the thoughtful posts on aging. It certainly can bring up all kinds of distress and fear. It is one of our last big challenges to do well. I know that I think more about those same existential things that struck first in adolescence when I realized that underneath all of the vanity, striving and acquisition, I had to come to terms all by myself with what my life and death were going to be about. I have lately been having a lot of frustrating aches and pains but as I also had a mysterious visitation of them in my thirties and recovered spontaneously after a time, I suspect they may be independent of my status as the oldest person on this thread. I have some uncorrectable problems with my vision but that can happen to anybody at any age, and I probably look better without glasses anyway. I am lucky, in fact, in that I generally look considerably younger than I am; my new, very young, primary care doctor thought my 1947 birthdate was a misprint and that I could not be on her Medicare plan. She then called in another doctor to peer at me and guess my age. I told them that I used to drink a lot and was probably "pickled", and that all the wrinkles and flabby spots were on my soul. All that luck aside, I think I do have control over much of how I look and feel at any age. I have control over my weight, what I eat and drink, what exercise I can adapt to do in spite of pain or changes in stamina or balance, what I create in my environment, and what I think about. Just as with money, I think it is sort of a fun challenge to make the best out of what one has especially it if isn't much. I see people around me who are far more messed up and thirty years younger as well as some people in their eighties who look twenty years younger which is what the doctors guessed about me They probably have visual problems also:H. Love, Ladybird.