AF daily: Wed 17th October 2012

[BlondeAFAmbition]

AF daily: Wed 17th October 2012

Geez, look at all you early birds! A quick hello as I'm late for work...Hi Saucy!!! Congrats on your 8.5 months! Nice to see you are doing so well. As for me, I'm back on track. Feeling good at day 3. Have a great one everybody!

[Lavande]

AF daily: Wed 17th October 2012

Good morning Abbers!

Hope you found time for a nap Sausage
Don't let fear interfere with your success. You have a great quit going so keep your thoughts positive!

Greetings to everyone & wishes for a happy Hump day
Gots things to do so I'll take my coffee & go!

Lav

[ronnie]

AF daily: Wed 17th October 2012

Evening all
Lilly i really liked your post from yesturday and can totally relate to it.
Sausage you did,nt confuse me honey, infact it was the next morning here when you posted :H
Mick i hope your mood lifts soon :l
Well i have had a good day today and i hope you all have a good day :h

[Turnagain]

AF daily: Wed 17th October 2012

Lavande;1394224 wrote:
Don't let fear interfere with your success. You have a great quit going so keep your thoughts positive!

This is such a powerful statement, Lav. I remember dealing with fear a while back and you wrote something similar to me. It helped me make the necessary course correction and it continues to guide me in all areas of life. There is so much power in the thoughts that we allow to populate our minds. It's work to stay mindful of this and it's not always easy (at least for me!)....but wow - the outcome is so worth it.

Fear, ambivalence, apathy, complacency are like creepy cousins from a dysfunctional family line. Why spend time with them when time is the most precious commodity in our lives? When these specters show up in my life now, I simply acknowledge them and then show them the door. I work to fill the space they left immediately with exactly the opposite feeling - confidence, clarity, positivity, and purpose. I really do view this mind retraining just like I view my weight training sessions. It's really cool to see the difference all this makes, and while results aren't always obvious on a day to day basis, it all adds up to dramatic change.

Molly, you're right that a lot of this is a mind thing. The alcohol has created a lot of havoc in the chemistry and synaptic wiring in our brains. When we derail the negative, fearful, defeatist trains of thought we clear the way for efficient streamlined bullet trains of thought that can take us to a new and better place. We are seasoning the chemical soup with all the right ingredients instead of overpowering it with the poison of ethanol. And while it takes the time and effort...I can tell you from my own experience....it's incredible to have the dopamine working right.

So Saucy...you keep steaming straight ahead with confidence. Tell yourself over and over and over that this final quit is ALREADY different than the last time. Because it is. Hit the eject button on even the whisper of a thought that it is anything else.

Lilly....you are not nearly as ambivalent as you think. You wouldn't be here now AND you'd be way back in the bottle if you were really wanting to give up and go back into the addiction cycle. You've been out and you know how GOOD it is. And it really only gets better. Addiction is powerful. But YOU are more powerful. Spend some time every day visualizing yourself completely free of addiction and at peace with yourself. Maybe use a situation as a scenario for this new you and get detailed. Your brain will read this as if it is actually happening. During this time blast away any negative thoughts. Pulverize 'em.

I'm off to try to pulverize some frozen ground today. Got a dozen little junipers that need to get into the dirt and covered with leaves before any more snow falls....

hugs to all you lovely fabbers....and good to see you here Ronnie!

[LillyE]

AF daily: Wed 17th October 2012

Mick, sorry to hear you're struggling with the CBA feelings. You are doing so well. Take some time to appreciate where you've been and how far you've come and give yourself a much-deserved pat on the back.

Moll, for me, I can't even claim it's truly thoughts that I can moderate. I know full well I can't moderate. Yes, there are the odd occasions I might actually just have a drink or two but they're the rare exception. Generally once i start I just want to keep going. Not necessarily til I'm blacked out or passed out but long enough that I've drunk far more than I should and feel very ill the next day. So it's not even that - it's perhaps worse, just trying to willfully ignore the fact that I have an alcohol problem and therefore should not drink.

Having said that, even a brief stint back to drinking is rapidly reminding me of why I went AF. And while I know that I haven't undone all the work in learning about how and why to live without alcohol I do feel like physically and emotionally the positive benefits of those 80 days have been undone frighteningly fast. In a way this is not a bad thing as the contrast is stark. Apart from anything else I'd forgotten how very badly I sleep when I am drinking and how flat and unmotivated I feel.

That was a terrific post Turn and I need to spend some more time digesting it - it's going in my personal AF inspiration tool box. Thank you.

Also, once again a post on Spiritual River really resonated with me this morning. THIS really helped remind me of why being AF feels so good - that sense of growth and progress and clarity - and why I want to get back there. Also a good reminder of the challenges we face in doing so...

>>>If you push yourself to grow and make positive changes in your recovery, then your life will slowly but surely transform into something incredible. You will start to care again. You will care about your life, about the people in it, about those you can potentially help, and so on. You will look forward to each new day. Opportunities will abound. This is exciting!

But of course, it takes some work. It takes effort before your life becomes exciting again in recovery. It does not just happen over night. You cannot just stop drinking or using drugs one day, go to detox, and then wake up the next morning to have this glorious new existence.

No, there is some transition there. There is a growth process that you have to get through first. And as you are making your way through this growth, at some point you will stop and realize that you have come a long way, and that you also have a long way to go, and that the gift of recovery is the process of growth itself. You will suddenly be able to appreciate the process itself, rather than focusing on some destination in the future, something “out there” or “down the road” when you might be happy again some day. Instead, you will realize that you are happy now, and that your happiness is based on this wonderful process of learning and growth that you engage with each day. You will see your struggles in life and you will know that there will always be more challenges and you will accept that and embrace it and even look forward to those challenges. Because it is all worth it in the end and even though it takes guts and energy to take positive action in recovery, it is bringing you some incredible rewards and you realize now that it is so much better than self medicating with drugs or booze every day.>>>

[Lavande]

AF daily: Wed 17th October 2012

Aren't we supposed to wake up every morning, look in the mirror & say 'I love you, I really love you' :H :H
Positive affirmations sound a little weird but they do work especially after years of beating ourselves up daily with AL. We do have to push ourselves to grow & make positive changes

I had a great lunch with old friends today, especially great because there were no kids in sight!
Tomorrow will be one of those way too long kid days.......

Turn, sorry to hear you have snow already ~ way too early for little old me!!!!!

Lilly, hope you are well!

Wishing everyone a peaceful AF night!
Lav

[BlondeAFAmbition]

AF daily: Wed 17th October 2012

Hi Wednesday crew!

Lav, I embrace Louise Hay all the time...her affirmations that is . Every morning when I wake up, I hug myself under the covers and say to myself, I love you. I love you even more today than I did yesterday". Then I go on about how the day is going to be great and how I accept all good things in my life now. It really does make a difference in how my day goes. Of course, it is much better to say these things enthusiastically when waking up sober instead of hungover and feeling like crap.

I had a bit of the devil in my head on my way home tonight. Like Sausage said...romantic thoughts of AL. But they are just thoughts and I didn't not act on them. Instead, I came home and wolfed down dinner . And selzer, and diet gingerale with lime and one cup of tea so far. No booze. Another day AF and I am all the better for it. Coming on here helps too. Wish I could do an afternoon check in at lunch but I don't have access at work, darn.

Well, hope you all are enjoying a wonderful evening. Be well and be healthy. Love yourself more today than you did yesterday, and even more so tomorrow.

[TheSunFlower]

AF daily: Wed 17th October 2012

Miss a day or two....and then you are lost on this thread

I'm in LA now. I am visiting a yoga friend and brought one with me. I have not seen my friend that we are visiting for over 2 years...and we clicked right into place. She is showing us around to all the best yoga studios and vegan food. Both know about my issues with AL, but neither drink so I am in good hands for the next few days.

LillyE....thanks for posting. What you are going through is no different than anyone else. No one wakes up sober one day.....and then never ever thinks of drinking again. Its the opposite....and it is tiring.

For me....what keeps me going is quote..."if you keep doing all the right things everyday, then one day you wake up a different person".

I have found myself tired. I got tired of all the ways I was going to drink and now I am tired of thinking of all the ways I am not going to drink. Sobriety can take alot out of a person.

So I have stopped thinking about it either way. I just keep one foot going forward in doing what is best for me. Today it may be going to an AA meeting or not.....or even logging onto here. Working out....or do I need to veg in front of theTV?

For me....I take those (mind) rest periods and it works. Before I felt like I had to be working all these steps all the time....24/7....and going to a meeting even if I didn't want to. They have little sayings in AA that 'if you did not feel like coming, then that is when you need us most". No I just need a break. It became tiring....though I still go when I want to or feel like I need it.

When I pushed myself (to be sober)....I always went out an drank. The "I have to" to "I want to"....is powerful. Now my mind is more filled with other goals that I have in my life.

I did not have to get sober. Sure life wasn't a bowl of flowers...I saw the depths coming....but, I had done sober enough times to understand clearly that I liked it more than drinking.

For me its working....because drinking doesn't fit into any of those goals. Something else that stuck with me...."people change their drinking to reach their goals, alkies change their goals".

Now I am changing my drinking.....and the opportunities I see ahead of me....are awesome.

Ok...off to a yoga class and late dinner. I love these gals.

[CanToo]

AF daily: Wed 17th October 2012

My dearest Lilly,

During my first days here I used to cry because of your support and now I'm crying because I feel your struggles. You guys are always teaching me what my mind and body are unwilling to embrace. Thank You for posting here.

I wanted to share with you what you shared with me on my 2nd day here. Your pros for not drinking....


"Ok, this is both for me and CanToo… a reminder of why life is better even just after 29 days AF. Cantoo, I know how hard it is to hang on in the early days, when you're still suffering the detox effects and possibly cravings but keep going and even after a week, two, three, you'll see positive changes. Have you quit for any length of time before? Sorry if you have a thread elsewhere I haven't seen. I have some MWO catching up to do...

After 4 weeks sober…

I feel calmer, happier, more positive, less anxious, less depressed

I am sleeping better and my allergies are, not gone, but much better

I have been working out, eating healthily and as a result have lost over 2.5 kilos and can see signs my fitness is improving

I have spent sooo much less money and saved money. I've put $100 a week aside each week I haven't drunk into a special account (including the month of June in which I only drunk on two nights) with which I've saved enough to buy myself an iPad and treat myself to that dinner Friday with $200 in the account now awaiting another treat…

I feel more present with my friends without booze getting in the way

I feel proud of myself for tackling this

I feel more focused on the future, not just bogged down in present drinking misery/worry

I am setting goals for myself

I am learning HUGE amounts about myself and this addiction. Sometimes it's painful but mostly it's great and way better than the dark fog of denial

You CAN do this CAN TOO and we will help you"

Please stay close Lilly, so we can help you regain your strength.

If I CAN - YOU CAN TOO.
:l

"I promise you that if you can hang [here] your mood will lift and lift with each day AF" ~ LillyE

[CanToo]

AF daily: Wed 17th October 2012

Det - bootcamp is a group exercise class that has you doing full body exercises and cardio for an hour straight. I like the group aspect because I have a little bit of a competitive edge to my personality.. However those 20 something's have been kicking my butt lately. I'm checking out a couple of personal trainers is week, makes me more accountable when I'm paying someone of a little one on one time. ($ is justified by what I'm not spending on beer). Will see. It sucks when you're single. I have to join a bunch of groups to have people to "play" with.

Anyway, I just cooked the biggest yam I've ever seen Det. Seriously it took 2 hrs to cook. Today was a good food day. Not perfect but pretty darn close! :thanks:

[Determinator]

AF daily: Wed 17th October 2012

whew, happy late night check-in for me. Kudos all on sobriety times and great thoughtful posts. nice little crowd on today which is great to see.

tired from a big day of training and one more day tomorrow. lots of male ego testosterone to deal with and even as a guy I get tired of it, but it goes with the territory. anyway, alls well and managed to do my AF drinks at dinner with clients tonight even though they drank.

going to be a verrrrry big day tomorrow so must rest up.

I could go for a bootcamp and then a giant yam CanToo! enjoy!

be well everyone

[LillyE]

AF daily: Wed 17th October 2012

I just swung by quickly before heading out to see that lovely message Cantoo. THANK YOU!!!!!!!! :l

[hulagirl]

AF daily: Wed 17th October 2012

Aloha All! Making a late (well not that late) check in. There is no way I can do the morning conversations. I try and get out by 7 am, but am always "late" and leave by 7:10. Oh the pressures we put on ourselves. My work just has so much preparation, I can't seem to get ahead. There is a lot of last minute planning, grading, posting, copying, organizing, emailing, etc. and etc. I seem to be struggling to make it through the week. Meaning "Is it Friday yet?" keeps coming into my thoughts. I just feel like it have some time management issues and no matter how much time I have I easily get destracted, begin several things at once, find myself spending time in fruitless tasks, and never seem to feel on top of it. I'm not drowning, just treading water, enough to keep afloat. On top of all that I question my competency. Is is Friday yet?