Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

[Solitaire]

I thought I will start this week, as it is Monday for me already, and most of you are still enjoying your Sunday night rest! :happyheart:

I attend 6 meetings a week, but 5 different venues. I have my favourite, but my soul gets fed where ever I go!

We have a Big Book meeting every Saturday morning, in the gardens of a beautiful Anglican church, and weather permits, we do it under a huge tree (it is summer here).

I take the work very serious, surprising how many folk just attend a meeting a week, no step work, and they seem ok? I committed to the entire programme... So, I go home late morning on Saturday, and got busy with Step 4. Having done much work on myself, spiritual, self empowerment, regressions, etc, I didn't think that I carried much resentment. So, I kept putting it off, as I "have done the forgiveness" bits. BOY! I got up to 44 names!!! My sponsor asked me to just put names down, and the causes, but... I went all the way. I was left feeling quite negative about myself, and my sponsor was out of the country for the week-end... The thinking was: can't I be JUST selfish OR inconsiderate OR dishonest... Needless to say, I realised I am it ALL... And it is ok...

At last night's (Sunday) meeting, an old-timer summarised the BB: Trust God, clean house, and serve others. So I gather, the cleaner my house, the better I can serve! I now, want to get through it all, so yhat I can share with others what was given to me!

Here is tot wishing all of us a good week! Mary, once again thank you SO much for the service you do here!

Love to all! xxx

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Hello fellow travelers! Sol - thanks for getting us started this week. I like your reflections on Step 4. What a shocker to learn that we all have character defects that affect our relationships (including ME ) and that rather than trying to hide them, I can just honestly work to clean house and make better decisions today than yesterday? What a relief!

Going back to last weeks thread and the topic of mentioning MWO at AA. I cannot suggest what anyone else should do - only giving my own side of why I do it. The main reason is that I could not honestly tell my story of recovery without mentioning MWO. Regardless of anyone's opinion of it, it is an important part of my journey. I try to not worry what others will think, and just tell my story with as much honesty as I can.

It is in my nature to keep things to myself when I think someone else might have a negative opinion of me. Of course every detail of my life is not everyone's business. But when it comes to talking about my recovery, I don't feel I can be honest about it by keeping MWO a secret at AA, or keeping AA a secret at MWO. If that means I get into a lively discussion with an old timer, so be it!

Setting aside personal involvement, I think there are legitimately pros and cons to everything in life. That includes internet recovery sites. I think the possibility of isolating too much with the computer (just like with the bottle) is a potential downside. The up side that I often mention when in these types of discussions (it comes up at school too) is that people might find hope and a path to recovery who are not willing to openly admit their problem to someone else. In my own example, I would have had to get a lot sicker before I would have been willing to talk to my doctor, go to an AA meeting, etc. Considering the amount of time I spent considering suicide and collecting pills, I might have died if not for MWO.

My story is what it is and I tell it just like that. I don't push others to pursue the same path I did - I just share what it is.

DG

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

morning!

whatever works...that's my opinion! if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to use it in their recovery.

went to a good meeting this morning. mary there was a lot of people there dealing with relapse. many said the same thing, they felt supported and a lot of love from the group after coming back and telling everyone. that is the power of aa, fellowship through it all. i love that.

i talked today about feeling like the group was my higher power (for now) and that it feels like a form of church for me. it helps center me and carry me through the day with that fellowship and honesty from the morning's meeting. i really appreciate that about aa...i'm not alone and it feels good to know that!

have a good one doggy, solitaire, mary and all who come in here today. i'm 16 days in today...feels good, but tenuous...will keep going to meetings!

adios!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Hi Everyone:

I just got to the computer & was so delighted to see that the thread has already gotten a great start. I haven't mentioned MWO by name, but I have spoken to my sponsor about this thread, & how I come here regularly. I too am much more "comfortable" at home alone w/the computer. It's ALWAYS good for me to go out of my comfort zone & interact w/people. Also, though MWO is where I first confronted my alcoholism, I couldn't stay sober w/just MWO. I really needed the fellowship. It was too easy for me to stay closeted w/MWO...nobody knew I was here...not even my husband. I certainly love coming here every day but am realistic enough to know that MWO alone won't keep me sober. Been there, done that.

This morning's meeting was on meeting challenges sober. At the first sign of trouble, I drank. Now, I'm needing to deal w/life on life's terms. I think I'm learning how to do that ODAT. I try to remember that when I did relapse, it wasn't over something big. There was no real reason for it, other than I'm an alcoholic.

Thanks so much everyone for coming to this thread & making it so special. I don't get around any other forum or thread, so this one means a lot to me. I read it thoroughly.

Mary

[SAUSAGE]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

On the subject of MWO and how it is viewed elsewhere.

I haven't any experience of AA, only what I've read on here and what I've seen on TV and what friends I know who have used it have told me. I would very much like to participate but it is just not possible at the moment mostly because I'm a lone parent a lot of the time ( husband in the forces and away a lot) and I also work part time and study and so I have very little spare time. Im also uncomfortable about attending meetings in my own area as I am a health care professional and going further afield is about of the question at the moment. Thus, MWO has been a lifeline for me. I can log on whenever I have time / feel vulnerable . I appreciate face to face contact would be better and I can understand the argument that it is possible to isolate yourself with the Internet, however I have lots of people contact in my life though my job, my kids and their activities etc and I am always out and about so I don't feel this is an issue for me.

Although I am surrounded by people all the time, I felt very alone with regard to one hidden part of my life, until I became involved with MWO.

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

hi sausage, i don't know if you would want to try it, but there are online aa meetings...just fyi

[Solitaire]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Hello all and sundry! (us "alkies " at times reminds me of a box of smarties or Liquorice All sorts
Regarding being open about MWO at AA meetings: The one (HUGE) pillar of AA is rigorous honesty, no? An integral part of my cleaning-house exercise, is the fact that I can be 100% honest, and still be accepted in the fellowship! Some of the "old-school", or some call them "hard-core" memebers, politely smile and look away, but never have I been criticised. I drank through some of my online times, but nobody was none the wiser! Going to a meeting though... I now know that NO gum or sweet, not even garlic Det, can mask the smell of booze!!! In a way, that helped me in the 1st few days
Well friends, at 4pm I am meeting my sponsor to polish myStep 4, and possibly moving on to Step 5.... I feel apprehensive, but very driven to get through it!
Sober love to us all!!
Sol xxxx

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Hi all!

Bettygirl, congrats on 16 days sober!!! The early days can sure seem like forever and you are doing great. I remember counting the days to 10 (more than once LOL) and it seemed to take F-O-R-E-V-E-R to get to "double digits." After going to AA I take all that a bit more relaxed - just worry about today.

Sol - Steps 4 & 5 are so freeing! I hope you feel as good as I did stepping up to that task. (pun!! )

Sausage - the important thing is to do what works!! I'm so glad you are here with us working through the recent feelings. How are you doing? Are you feeling a little more secure in your sobriety today?

Mary - I too drank at the first sign of a challenge. Heck, I created drama at times (especially with DH) to have an excuse to pour a drink outside of my "time limits" (which were a joke). It really is different to confront life and feelings and situations without the old crutch. A continuous learning process for sure. Since my Dad passed I am realizing I still am carrying some old baggage about my Mom. I thought I had let that stuff go but it's back. I can see that our job is never done.

I get a "thought for the day" e-mail from Hazelden every day. It's an e-mail thing you can sign up for on the Hazelden site. I like todays message:

A.A. Thought for the Day

Many people are creeping through life on their hands and knees, merely because they refuse to rely on any power but themselves. Many of them feel that they are being brave and independent, but actually they are only courting disaster. Anxiety and the inferiority complex have become the greatest of all modern plagues. In AA we have the answer to these ills. Have I ceased to rely on myself only?

Meditation for the Day

When I am in doubt, I am not going anywhere. Doubt poisons all action. I meet life with a "yes," an affirmative attitude. There is good in the world, and I can follow that good. There is power available to help me to do the right thing; therefore I will accept that power.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may go along on the venture of faith.

I think it really fits in with our discussion about AA and MWO. In whatever way we use one or both of these groups, we are finding that we can do things together than we couldn't do alone.

Hello to all yet to come today, and anyone just reading along! Have a good day one and all.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Sausage: I too have that "hidden" part of my life until I came here to MWO. It felt good to read about people who were struggling w/the same issue I had (drinking).

DG: I read that reading this morning too. Sometimes I forget that I don't have to struggle along w/my own puny resources. I have a power greater than myself to turn to.

This morning's meeting was from "Living Sober." It was very emotional, because we read the chapter on remembering your last drunk. People just cried remembering the damage they had done themselves & others...even the high-bottomed drunks (people who hadn't lost everything). I've always felt that one great tool in staying sober is remembering the most painful drinking episodes. No romance, no denial.

Mary

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

thanks doggygirl!! to me it seemed easy for the first 2 weeks, and the past couple of days have been really hard! i'm glad i have an alternative to isolating myself and saying f*ck it, why not drink! i have also taken the "crave is just a wave" saying to heart, and that helps too. it's a journey, not a destination, eh?
thanks for sharing that e-mail...i'm gonna look into hazelden. i remember my parents reading books from them when i was a kid...

mary, WOW...that is a great idea. i have been focusing on how crappy i felt the day after drinking, and the health crisis that drinking caused me this summer, but to remember the actual drinking episodes is good as well.:thanks:

sol...i totally get the 100% honesty at aa...i am really learning to do that through the program. i have an easy time smiling through a lot of things and letting them roll off my back, even if it might be causing me pain or turmoil, but i want to be honest and forthright about my issues and problems, and i think aa is the place for me to start...at the age of 41, i'm finally starting to be honest (with myself, mostly!). :upset:

sausage, i hope you are well! i understand your hestations with meetings. i was in the same boat last year. we moved halfway across country and now i really am annonymous, so it was much easier to go to meetings after the move. i did try online meetings, but really, nothing compares to the fellowship that an actual meeting brings. nobody there will jusge and the annonymous part is really emphasized. after all, we are all there for the same reason, especially in closed meetings.

have a peaceful day all! :h

[porqoui]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Just wanted to pop in and say :hello: to everyone. Made it to work through the snow and the trip home should be easier. I have to tell you I don't get as anxious and worried about daily circumstances since quitting AL and for that I am very grateful.
Have a great day all.....PPQ

[GinaCA]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

This thread is just getting better and better! Thank you Solitaire for starting it out. I am so inspired by you and your motivation to take action and work a great program. Good job! I've been in a slight slump getting going on the rest of my amends. I've done most, and grew greatly from them. The ones I have left are the ones I must reach out to and make plans to meet up with. A couple of people whom I haven't seen in quite some time. I don't like the feeling when I am in inaction.

Bettygirl! Congrats on 16 days!! That is huge! It's great that you know and utilize your alternative to isolating and recognize those triggers. I have the feeling you will do great!

Still enjoying the change of scenery of the hotel my family is living in. We have about 5 more days here. Nice that life, mtgs, school for the kids, etc...still continue despite the change in locale. I will surely miss the maid service!!

I look fwd to reading here all the wisdom so freely given. It really helps a lot!!

[GinaCA]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Mollyka~ You sound much more confident and happy everyday. Very uplifting posts here! Really gives testament to the program.

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

whew...i'm still on the 2nd step! one day at a time...

i am so grateful to be sober today...my husband is at a conference in new mexico and was having vision problems. he went to the er and found out he has a retinal detatchment. i have to be present and ready to help in anyway i am needed and i couldn't do that if i was not 100% sober. if i was to eb hungover tomorrow, i would drag and have a hard time making the calls i need to make to get him home and in to the opthamologist asap.
i am his partner and he can count on me...that feels good.

goodnight all!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Hi Everyone:

There's so much to comment on! Regarding honesty: I've heard in program: "You're only as sick as your secrets." That was so true of me when I was drinking, as I was a secret drinker. The hiding was almost as addictive as the drinking itself. So, I speak about that openly & honestly at meetings, as it's a pretty common practice among especially women alcoholics.

However, every single thing doesn't have to be revealed at open meetings. As long as we reveal necessary info to someone (especially our sponsor &/or people close to us), we are doing OK. Sometimes, in the spirit of rigorous honesty, people will say things at meetings which would be best kept private to a few close AA friends.

Regarding getting a sponsor: The hardest part for me was asking & possibly being rejected. I like my sponsor, but she isn't the closest person to me in some ways. Our sponsors don't necessarily become our dearest friends. Their function is to guide us along the AA path. When I relapsed, she told me what I had to do. She took me through the steps & is doing so again. So, if you hear a person share who has solid sobriety & is the same gender, it might be a good idea to ask if she would sponsor you. Going out of our comfort zone is a good thing. Alcohol kept is very bound up in our own little world.

Mary