Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

thanks mary...were you on a particular step when you got a sponsor, or did you do it right away (sorry if you've already answered these ?). i am hesitant to get a sponsor until i feel ready. i don't know if that's what aa advises, but it's what i'm doing. i feel like just starting the meetings was a huge step for me, and i can only do what i can do right now. the meetings are working wonders, and i really like the fellowship. i guess when i'm ready to go deeper, i'll take the plunge.

i hope everyone is at peace today...

i got my big girl pants on today...no drinking for me, i got sh*t to do!

peace

[GinaCA]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Good morning!

The sponsorship part of the program took some time for me to get comfortable with. I have had a few sponsors during previous stints in AA because that was what everyone said I had to if I wanted to stay sober. I didn't like calling someone everyday, and didn't really like much of the advice, at the time. I was very confused about a lot of things and didn't make clear to my sponsor that I wanted to get moving on the Steps. My first sponsor did things a bit differently and had a much slower approach. She didn't feel I needed to get moving on the Steps so quickly, and by 8 months we hadn't even met one-on-one to start working them. The only time I saw her was at a weekly mtg we both attended. In a way, I guess I liked having a sponsor "by name only", but I truly hurt myself by not asserting myself, not looking for a new sponsor who would work the steps with me, and by just sitting on the wall with ambivalence about the whole thing and not taking action.

When I sought out a sponsor this time, I went to a lot of meetings! I watched, I listened, and I tried to find someone whom I admired and whom seemed to work a good program, live a good program, and didn't just "talk the talk" like many I have come across.

My sponsor has been a godsend! Calling her daily is just a routine part of my day. The call is usually just a minute or two, as most days things are just fine. It's just a "check-in"...not a social chat. BUT, when things aren't going so well, this is when it really helps to have that routine in check, as it makes it much easier and natural to pick up the phone and call her. She has given me much wisdom and guidance during the rough days, that I am so very grateful for.

Most sponsors I have come across want you to work the Steps from the very beginning of Step 1 with them, regardless if you have done them on your own, or with another sponsor. It helps them to understand you better and to help you better.

I see my sponsor as a mentor. We do not socialize outside of the program as of yet, and that works well for me. I feel like the student who is finally ready to soak it all in, with honesty, openness and willingness.

[GinaCA]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Just wanted to add, nowhere in the Big Book even mentions the whole sponsorship thing. That came about over time, but it still is not part of the program, just a suggestion by those in the program who have worked the steps. So for those who say "you won't get sober without one", are wrong. It does make things much easier for me and makes me feel more connected. I don't think I'd have the discipline to do them on my own.

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

wow, thanks gina...great insights...i did not know that one didn't "have" to have a sponsor. i will do what it takes and if in the future i feel like i need one, i won't be afraid to ask. i am always on the lookout for a good mentor, and i have met a woman who does seem like she has what i want in my life...she even gave me "her card", so it seems she was reaching out to me. time will tell.

i had an annoying meeting today (people bring up politics and devisive issues and that bothers me...i thought this was supposed to be non-affiliated!). i am going to a different meeting at noon, a new one that i have never been to...i need to find a less conservative/christian group...i don't like the way this one always talks about christ and fox news! i have a hard time taking what i need and leaving the rest when my personal beliefs are being mocked (even though they don't know they are mocking them). i can't change the group, but i can go to a different one...i just have to keep on seeking.


anyway...thanks for being here. and i in no way am anti christian, i just thought aa was non-denominational and this particular group is soooooooooo christian, it feels foreign to me.

peace!

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Hi all!! Mary - I agree with your entire post about honesty in the right place and time, sponsors, etc. I had my ups and downs with early sponsors. In reflecting back, I see how the issues were mine - not theirs. I have grown a lot in my maturity and ability to have adult relationships as a result of working through the relationships with various sponsors. That is a benefit, IMO, beyond just someone to guide the steps. I can still be very immature in my approach to relationships, but at least now I'm aware.

I think meetings I don't like are another opportunity for learning and growth. Rather than "getting mad" at "all of AA" which was my instinct at first, I am now better able to just acknowledge that all of us as humans are attracted to people who are similar to us. So there are going to be meetings where many people there are similar to each other (beyond just our alkie status) and NOT similar to me. That's OK. I always know we have ONE thing in common (:H) and I'm also grateful that in my area there are tons of different meetings to choose from. It's all good. Lord knows back in my drinking days if the only bar open in town was one where people hung out that I couldn't stand, I would have been drinking there anyway. So I can definitely handle an hour now and then with just about anyone.

Today is my long day at school. I am VERY glad I'm not hungover for this!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

BettyG:

You're absolutely right that politics & religion are NOT supposed to come out at AA meetings...whether you agree w/them or not. The traditions are very clear about that. So, you may be right to avoid that meeting. I wonder what an old-timer would have made of such a meeting. My guess is that he/she would have had something to say. I can only say that I've been to dozens of meetings in my area & in FL, & I've never had that experience. There have been meetings that I haven't loved for one reason or another ("run-on" people, drunk people, rude people, etc.), but the traditions should be pretty carefully carried out.

I didn't get a sponsor until I was well into the program. I didn't do anything about the steps either. I just concentrated on going to meetings & feeling a part of the fellowship. The time came when I could call someone whose sobriety I admired & asked her to sponsor me. You'll know when the time is right.

Good luck.

Mary

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

thanks for the feedback guys!
the noon meeting that i went to was really nice...everyone sharing about their stories (there were 3 of us newcomers to talk to!), and it was all about recovery. i think i'll go back to that meeting from now on. just gotta keep on learning!
dg, you are soooo right. we learn from everyone, and i don't begrudge that, in any way. i can learn from everyone, and i should learn from everyone. we all have our place. i just don't want to hear people talking politics when we are all there for recovery. i'm sure fox news or msnbc or cnn hasn't helped anyone recover! ha! it's ok, it's working for them, and they all seem really comfortable there. i'll just move on there are plenty of "us" out there, right!? i have learned a lot from the meetings i've been to and i do appreciate it, even if they deviate from the traditions. it's my responsibilty to take what i need and leave the rest.

ahhhhhh...life!

oh, my husband is having surgery to re-attatch his retina in santa fe tomorrow...i can't believe this all happened the one week out of the year that we are separated and he is hundreds of miles from home!!! there is a lesson there somewhere, right!? ha!

take care...boy have i been rambling here...i think i'm kind of using this as journal after meetings...i hope thats ok!?

peace to all!

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Hi Everyone,
Going back a month ago i had about 3 chairs to do in 1week i hate that when that happens because i compare myself on the feed back i get at different meetings. Anyway am glad it happen i think my high power was saying to me here is your chance now of getting honest about your smoking so do it so i did. Got really good feed back from meetings. But it was good to know that one person share back and said how i help him.
I have share in my chair about mwo because for me thats where i started getting my help and it played a big part of my life, and i do let them know there is a really poweful strong AA thread on here as well.
( i have gone through the steps again a few months ago)
There is so much goooood post on here, I learn a lot from you's

There is a BIG Question, i like to ask what would you do ?
Would you take them through the steps or not !
Some1 recommended me to sponsor some1. The person that recommended me has had 9yrs sobriety and relapse last year and is coming on to a year next month.
Was not sure what to do meet up with her and got honest with her about my smoking and she seems to be ok with me still taking her through the steps. At first i was not sure if i should do this, someone said to me that i could be giving her the wrong message. But this is AA not NA even though i know now its AL/Drug addiction where dealing with.
In my head am thinking that this will help me in a selfish way but now i want to see that person get well and the excitement in there face when there going through the program.

Take care All x

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Hi all!

BG - I sure hope everything turns out OK for your husband! Isn't it a relief to know you are clear and present for this!!! Keep us posted, OK?

Mary - you are so right about the traditions! I'm guessing it is pretty rare to have groups who regularly talk politics and religion because of the traditions. Usually there is an old timer in every crowd who will remind about those! :H And that is a blessing of the program helping keep things on track.

Hi Catch!! It is SO GOOD to see you here! :h Do you have a sponsor yourself? If so, what does your sponsor guide about sponsoring this woman? One of the things I love about having a sponsor is that I can really trust her for guidance on matters like sponsoring others. And on the smoking.... I'm just glad you are here and working on it! Our addictive minds are so tricky. Many of us have sought out other addictive pleasures. FOOD is a big battle for me at the moment. You are not alone.

DG

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Hi all,

I haven't been on here in a while, but I feel the need to post tonight - hope that's OK. In fact I haven't been to AA or anywhere much for the past few months except the docs and the hospital.

I've been very ill on-and-off since June - nothing life-threatening I don't think. I'm getting a head scan on Monday to check, but I'm pretty sure it's not serious, but it's been horribly debilitating. It all started with a sinus problem and then that led to vertigo, so I could barely stand up for weeks. I couldn't even read as my eyes were going crossed!

The funny thing is, when I was in the acute stages of it, after an inital panic and not dealing with it well, I actually got very good at practising acceptance, patience etc (I had to wait nearly a month to see a specialist, despite being very non-functional and able to do nothing much more than sit in bed). I am proud of how I coped then - but now I have started to get better, I am finding it really hard.

Prior to this illness, I was flying along happy as Larry, doing a lot with life. Now I am fatigued all the time and am experiencing periods of depression. I wouldn't even mind if it was my thinking that was causing the depression, because I could work on myself, but it's not. It seems to be clinical, coming out of the blue for no reason. I guess it's a result of nerve damage and the isolation of not being able to go out.

I'm doing the best I can. In fact, on paper, I look like I'm nearly back to normal. But I'm not. I still feel very isolated, because most of the time I feel too fatigued to go out or do anything. I'm doing a chair next week, so at least that will get me back into AA a bit.

It's just really hard, and I keep wondering when this is going to end. I have no doubt that this depression is medical, but, unlike the vertigo, which I can tell if it's getting better, it's not measurable. I seem to have a constant low mood, and then severe lows every day or two. I have had some amazing news this week, but I've barely raised an eyebrow. This is not like me at all. My life is amazing, but I'm not feeling it right now. It's very sad and frustrating.

Sorry, I just needed to let that out. I haven't been able to share, so I hope you don't mind me doing it here. Hope all you guys are well - at least it's nice to connect again

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Kimberly: It was so good to see you here. You were very right to try, even w/your compromised health situation, to touch bases w/MWO & AA. Try to remember that "this too shall pass," but in the meantime, it's very hard to stay upbeat. Keep your chin up & do the best you can w/the readings, meetings, MWO, as best you can. I'm wishing you good luck w/all you have ahead. Mary

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Thank you Mary - I really appreciate being able to share and having your support. I'm trying to think 'this too shall pass' but it's difficult when it doesn't seem to be going away. At least I'm not getting too wound up in negative thoughts. I know it's unlikely to last forever. That does keep me going. Very hard in the meantime, but my life when I as a drunk was incredibly hard too, and I still survived it. Guess I can survive this too x

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

kimberly, at least you aren't drinking too, right? that is so positive and kudos to you for making it through without picking up. i don;t know about you, but in the short time i have been going to aa, when i am feeling lonely or sad, and i go to a meeting, i always feel better afterwards. so hopefully, after that meeting next week, you begin to feel better emotionally, and that in turn might help you feel better physically. my heart goes out to you. :h

mary and dg, HI!

catch, i assume you are talkng about smoking pot or cigarettes? it seems everyone smokes cigs in the meetings i have been to (well, after or before). if it's pot, does the program help you with that? i don't see why it wouldn't? anyway, it's so cool that you get that feedback after meetings...i felt some really good stuff after some meetings lately that really encouraged me.

i was called on last tonight, the chairperson said i had been smiling and nodding my head a lot (i didn't even notice!), and that i must have sometihng good to say...well i got tears in my eyes and said "i am so glad that i am not alone anymore!". it felt so good to hear people's stories (this is my favorite once a week meeting) of overcoming isolationa nd loneliness and sadness. to now have fellowship and acceptance from a bunch of people who know things about you that you might not even tell your closest friends and family. things that make you feel like such a loser or degenerate...things everyone in that room understands and hears and in the end, we can laugh at it! i really like alcoholics!!!:H

thanks for being here you guys, i appreciate you all and am thankful for your wisdom and honesty.

peace!

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

oh, and i was invited to go to a weekly women's big book study at a really neat woman's house...i'm so stoked!

[Solitaire]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 22 - 28

Hello there! A sunny day today (Friday) after a few overcast ones!
I feel disgruntled:
Yesterday was very hectic for me: my birthday coming up, a friend is flying from Namibia to visit, so some preparations there. My daughter (13) not well, my eldest writing finals, planning my mom's 90 next week, venue etc, volunteered to take over a Monday meeting which is not well structured, other son got hit by a car whilst cycling (by the grace of God he is ok), amongst the usual stuff... So... I decided to go to a Thursday night meeting for the 1st time. It was horrible!!! If Bill was there, he would have resigned from AA immediately!!! There were 2 old-timers, 11years sober I think, and it was there CONCERT!!!!
Two newcomers shared, and were reprimanded?!?!?! "You should never do this or that" and some marital advice?!?! Cross talk etc.
So... I decided to speak up and told them some AA stuff, like: read the Book and work the steps!!!! And guess what I was told?
There is a life out there, don't take it so seriously, God does not feature early on in AA, it has to be you you you initially?
I left there, and the only gratitude I could find in my bones, was the knowing that I would NEVER EVER go back there!!!!
If AA was a business, I would have reported them to the authorities.
Despite all happening in my life at the moment, my soul is well, and I owe it to AA and the fellowship, no doubt! I just KNOW that I would have had a shot or to around lunch time was it not for being in the programme.
So... Our Serenity Prayer.... I HAVE the courage to change "that meeting", I just don't know how, awaiting response from my sponsor, who is a "big shot" in AA here in SA... But mainly, I feel so sorry for the 2 newcomers, as it is the only meeting they attend so far... I sure as hell wouldn't have taken my sobriety serious after listening to all that last night.
Sorry about that, but AA has been so good to me, I want it for everybody out there who also wants it!!!
Hugs,
Sol