Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

[Doggygirl]

Good morning everyone! I'm thinking Mary might be at the early morning meeting. Those can be addictive!

My sponsor is celebrating 15 years sober this week. We had a good long talk yesterday afternoon and she really helps me appreciate the value of walking through this life sober. I'm glad I no longer need alcohol just to function each day, or to "get through" difficult times. I like those moments of reflection that make me truly appreciate the gift of sobriety and what it means in my day to day life.

Hope everyone is off to a great start on the week!

DG

[porqoui]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

Morning Doggygirl....

My sponsor has 30 yrs and has now just admitted to the group (others privately) that she is 1 yr "clean". She had been dealing with health issues and got hooked on pain killers/sleeping pills. She wanted to reset her sobriety date to this date but I don't think that's right. She has been AF for 30 years and isn't that what we're here for? a desire to stop drinking?

Due to family issues, I wasn't able to attend my home group/birthday meeting yesterday and I hope everyone talked her out of negating her 30 yrs.

As you say DG, being able to appreciate the value of walking through this life sober is precious.

Be safe all.......PPQ

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

Hi PPQ! I think the choice of how to regard ones sobriety when multiple substances are in play is a very individual choice. I'm not in her shoes, but maybe to her, based on her own suffering and overcoming of another addiction, that 1 year being completely free of both AL and pills is more significant to her - makes her feel better, then thinking in terms of 30 years sober from 1, and 1 year sober from the other. I of course have no idea how she feels, but I have encountered a lot of people who have gone through such issues, and I think it's just a very individual thing. However she decides to approach it, I would just suggest respecting her wishes about it.

Todays opiate pain medications are a very slippery slope for anyone, and especially, I think, for those of us who might be more prone to addiction than others. I know quite a few people in AA who have had a heck of a time coming off meds such as Oxycontin after having surgeries, back problems, etc. Very scary stuff.

I like the Hazelden message today:

Resentment

Of all the negative emotions, resentment diminishes us the most. It brings unwarranted anger toward those who have something we want, and self-pity for ourselves. It drains us of the energy we need to change our lives and work toward goals. Resentment keeps us in a rigid judgment of who "should" and who "should not" achieve success; all "should" attitudes are pointless, breeding discontent and wasting time. Above all, resentment is ugly to see and even uglier to feel. When I'm resentful, I feel hatred toward others and myself.

Today, I ask for the humility to accept my limitations, without resenting others who have exceeded them. I ask for the courage to pursue my own goals, not comparing myself to others.

This is an extremely timely and powerful message for me.

DG

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

thanks dg, good food for thought.
i always appreciate your insights and messages from various places...i can never think too much about all things recovery lately. i'm not in the pink cloud, just really working actively towards being free (a lifelong porcess, i know!). i'm sure it levels out after a while, but right now it is the most important thing...without it, i have nothing.

last night at the big 90 minute meeting, a few folks spoke about pills...that's a slippery slope. i don't think anyone should have to be in pain, but as addicts, we are scared of goign there. one awesome older biker dude who has 26 years said he was afraid of his meds (after back surgery) and didn't take them for a while. well, his wife (who is also in the group) told him he better do something because he was becoming unbearable to live with...he was in such pain that he was isolating, sleeping a lot and just being mean. well, he takes his meds as prescribed and is going to meetings everyday, sometimes 2-3, just to make sure he gets through this without getting stuck in a pill rut. i respect that. why be in pain?

i really enjoyed the 90 minute meeting last night...sometimes an hour just doesn;t seem long enough!

today is day 23 for me...woohoo.

havea good one all!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

I think that a sobriety date is a personal thing. I know people who had very short relapses & keep their original sobriety date. I'm still grieving my old sobriety date, but i have to remember it's just a date. The important issue is that I have to live w/myself honestly whether I have 1 day or 30 years. Isn't 1 day of sobriety all any of us have?

As far as meds are concerned: I'm grateful that I don't need them at this time. I'm not sure how I'd do w/them...especially at night. Insomnia is such a trigger for me that I could see myself using them long after the pain subsided.

Yes, I was at the AM meeting. It was filled to capacity in spite of the oncoming storm. Alcoholics are a pretty crazy bunch.

M

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

oh boy, stay safe mary!!!

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

Stay safe Mary!!!!!

Bettygirl - I can relate to putting our sobriety first, and if that means spending 24X7 on it sometimes, well, so be it. Lord knows I spent lots of time in my life basically spending 24X7 on booze, between planning to drink, drinking, and recovering from drinking.

I am not an advocate of any AA member telling another one what to do regarding meds. (And I hope my post did not come off that way). I think the number of "old timers" who would step over the boundaries and tell someone not to take a med that a doctor had prescribed are fewer and fewer.

Especially when it comes to opiate pain killers, I am personally very cautious and if I ever have another back surgery which might require a significant course of pain meds, I would seek alternatives to opiates, even if they are not as effective. That's just my view of it. Through my volunteer work I've also gotten pretty involved with people who have had mega trouble with drugs in this category so I guess that serves to make me cautious too!

I hope everyone who might be impacted by this storm is safe...

DG

[GinaCA]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

Good Morning!

I attend a pills anonymous meeting because of my history of Xanax usage. The cross addiction issue does scare me. I know I am an addict through and through. My Xanax usage, though more "controlled" than my drinking..(taking small dose as prescribed most days), was still an obsession. The instant relief it gave me from all the things I drank over was very elusive. I would get nervous if I forgot to put some in my purse (just in case!). I would count them out several times to make sure I had enough and would arrange for days where I could take more if I took less on other days. I would mark on my calendar the earliest day I could refill the prescription as allowed by the system, and would get annoyed with myself if I forgot. I would medicate before any perceived stressful event (ie: work!) where alcohol would absolutely be a no-no. It was my solid form of alcohol. Today, I still fantasize about it at times, and think maybe I can go back on that once I am done with the nursing diversion program I am in. I have to remind myself how, in the past, when I would be "sober" off alcohol, I would still take the Xanax which would eventually lead me back to the drink because I wanted a better high than the Xanax alone. For me, while taking them, I was never truly sober. My intention was wrong. I still couldn't live life on life's terms despite stopping drinking. Fortunately, pain meds make me extremely nauseated, but I will definitely need to be careful of any meds in the future and be honest with my doctors.

Went to a mtg last night where they have a speaker discuss a Step on the last Mon of the month. The speaker, who has cancer for the second time in two areas of her body, spoke on Step 10. She was wonderful! She has 24 yrs sobriety, and was just so real and honest, esp about how she still catches herself being selfish, self centered and dishonest. It's just now, she is aware of it and makes amends right away. She tries to write a daily inventory and shares it with her sponsor, something that sounded like a good idea to me. She shared her funny perspective, line by line, of the Daily Meditation on pages 86-88, and how, geez! we are still human!! She said we tend to beat ourselves up too much in program and we need to be gentler on ourselves. She said, though she doesn't recommend it, it took her 5 years before she got past Step 3. She said she still benefited from just sitting in meetings and trying to "get it" through osmosis, because she stayed sober. Her life did improve dramatically once she got moving, but needed those years to come to the conclusion on her own.

Thinking about my oldest son turning 19 on Friday. I missed so many things over the past 8 years due to my self centeredness and selfishness by not being fully present due to my drinking. I prided myself on being a great mom for the first 10 years of his life, and I have always held on to that esteemed view of myself as a form of self preservation. I was really in denial that I became an unfit mom on and off over the past 8 years of his life. The reality hurts, but I need reality to shake me up enough to change. I'm still working on my amends letter to myself.

Wishing you all a great day!

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

i can see how easy it would be to start taking something else in lieu of drinking...i find myself fantasizing about legalization of pot in washington, and how i could totally quit drinking if i had poot to smoke...EGAD!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! stinky thinky

thsi summer i went through some withdrawals and ended up in the er...well, as anyone who's gone through withdrawals knows, they give you atavan to quell the symptoms...i had fun with the 25 extra tabs they sent home with me. thank goodness they are gone, or i'd probably bust into them at some point...it never ends! i'm glad i have the tools and can apply them to all these crazy addictive thoughts before i put them into action!

i better get to my meeting!!!

peace!

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

HA! "poot", thats about the size of it! :H

[GinaCA]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

I did the medical marijuana for a short time, and I don't even like pot!! I was curious, it's legal in CA, and I thought the edibles would be better than smoking it. Lucky for me, I had a bad reaction that scared me enough to stop!

[GinaCA]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

Love this one!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

Slow progress is a good thing. Thanks for the cute poster.

I missed my AM meeting this morning. I'm so glad I can get to one tonight. I really feel like I need one. I have that strange restless feeling.

I absolutely know beyond a doubt that I'd be taking pills if I had them in my home. We had some leftover from dental work etc. but took them to the pill recycling a while back. When we got there w/our small bag of pills, there were 2 state troopers standing there w/the collection people. I guess there are plenty of people who would do pretty much anything for the cache of pills that were at that collection center.

Mary

[GinaCA]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

Mary~ I am sure I would have a strange, restless feeling if I lived in your neck of the woods. Pretty scary stuff, that Sandy brought! I'm glad you have a meeting you can make tonight!

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct 29 - Nov 4

Hi all! Love the turtle pic!!!

On the troopers at the pill depot - ONE oxycontin pill around here will sell for $50 or more. It's crazy. That's how a lot of these kids end up on heroin. Heroin is WAAAAY cheaper than buying opiate prescription pills on the street.

Our stinkin thinkin really is something, isn't it? Thank goodness we have each other. Left on my own, I can really think up some crazy stuff to change the way I feel rather than deal with it.

DG