Morning folksies,
Well here we are again..the eve of poets day prior to the weekend!! cold and miserable...yep and the weather isnt much better either!:H
Just reading yesterdays thread..boy think someone must of spiked the tea and coffee!!
So how are we all today?
Afternoon Kuya...you ok?Cheers for the thread start yesterday oh and "How quickly times have changed, when I was a child I was told certain behaviours made you go blind".....thats why its better to get someone to do it for you ...takes the problem of going blind out of it for you!!!!!!:H
PPQ...and how are you?........sheer natch poetry there!,Lazy start for you yesterday..think you set your lappy to automatic!!So youve still got a moose loose in the hoose?Nice picture post of the orange..in fact its very apeeling
Morning Lav..coffee for you?..so how did your busy day turn out?..............no dont say busy!whats your plans for today then? No rain yet?Happy to share some of this with you
Morning YAH..you ok? you did really well with that af wine:goodjob:My wife got some af rose wine the other day...she seems to like it...but also likes al wine too.Why not turn your thinking around a wee bit?Instead of thinking cant live life avoiding alcohol..what can you now do now that you dont need alcohol?
SL good morning to you..youve settled in well.. you ok?...yep you are right about your dream list.........almost..spending money :shocked:whats that then?theres certainly some strange jockanese genes there!Got to agree with you about the hols..we never got so may when I was at skool cos we was tu bizzy lerning fings..Reading your jokes..wow reminded me of school..Chicken licken and Hen len!!
Morning CB...see that didnt take long did it? you ok?If you right click on the pic ..click save as and it will be in your downloads...that was a bit of a dramatic entrance with all the jokes..well done you!aplogies PPQ...see you have said the same
Hi Rabsy...the storyteller you alright ?
Morning Det..you ok mate?As for your bosses telling you about the increased taxes etc...be better to wait and see what happens..so keep your chin up mate
Hi Ronnie..hows you doing down there?Still got the sunshine?you dont if if you goiming or not?..who is going to be a busy bee getting all tidied up!!!
Morning Cantoo..you ok? despite your drive in the white stuff?take it easy out there...oh and enjoy the choccy
Morn ing Daisy 45 hows things in the emerald isle...as for the jokes....cant possibly coment if you get my drift..sure there's not a Paddy n Mick involved in it somewhere? :H
Hi my mate down under how you doing? keep trying it will happen..Lills theres always a place reserved here for you :l
Well thats it for the off now........
How many American tourists does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifteen. Five to figure out how much the bulb costs in the local currency, four to comment on "how funny-looking" local lightbulbs are, three to hire a local person to change the bulb, two to take pictures, and one to buy postcards in case the pictures don't come out.
A gas station in Halifax was trying to increase it's sales. So the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex With Fill-Up." Soon a Canadian pulls in, fills his tank, and then asks for his free sex. The gas attendent tells him pick to a number from 1 to 10 if he guesses correctly, he will get his free sex. The Canadian says, "7" The gas attendent says, "You were close, sir, but the number was 6. Sorry, no sex this time." A week later, the same Canadian, along with his buddy, pulls in for a fill up. Again he asks for his free sex and again the gas attendent gives him the same story and asks him to guess the correct number. The Canadian says, "5" The gas attendent says, "Sorry,it was 4. You were so close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, the Canadian says to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex." The buddy replies,"No, it ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week."
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll go?”
The kangaroo said, “About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!”
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up for a date but she'd popped her clogs.
I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed. I never knew they worked.
A young blonde fears her husband is having an affair. She goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she finds him in bed with a redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps off the bed and starts begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically, the blonde responds to the husband: "Shut up, you're next."
I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts". Well, YES. That's what I bought them for. You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out.
Well here we are again..the eve of poets day prior to the weekend!! cold and miserable...yep and the weather isnt much better either!:H
Just reading yesterdays thread..boy think someone must of spiked the tea and coffee!!
So how are we all today?
Afternoon Kuya...you ok?Cheers for the thread start yesterday oh and "How quickly times have changed, when I was a child I was told certain behaviours made you go blind".....thats why its better to get someone to do it for you ...takes the problem of going blind out of it for you!!!!!!:H
PPQ...and how are you?........sheer natch poetry there!,Lazy start for you yesterday..think you set your lappy to automatic!!So youve still got a moose loose in the hoose?Nice picture post of the orange..in fact its very apeeling
Morning Lav..coffee for you?..so how did your busy day turn out?..............no dont say busy!whats your plans for today then? No rain yet?Happy to share some of this with you
Morning YAH..you ok? you did really well with that af wine:goodjob:My wife got some af rose wine the other day...she seems to like it...but also likes al wine too.Why not turn your thinking around a wee bit?Instead of thinking cant live life avoiding alcohol..what can you now do now that you dont need alcohol?
SL good morning to you..youve settled in well.. you ok?...yep you are right about your dream list.........almost..spending money :shocked:whats that then?theres certainly some strange jockanese genes there!Got to agree with you about the hols..we never got so may when I was at skool cos we was tu bizzy lerning fings..Reading your jokes..wow reminded me of school..Chicken licken and Hen len!!
Morning CB...see that didnt take long did it? you ok?If you right click on the pic ..click save as and it will be in your downloads...that was a bit of a dramatic entrance with all the jokes..well done you!aplogies PPQ...see you have said the same
Hi Rabsy...the storyteller you alright ?
Morning Det..you ok mate?As for your bosses telling you about the increased taxes etc...be better to wait and see what happens..so keep your chin up mate
Hi Ronnie..hows you doing down there?Still got the sunshine?you dont if if you goiming or not?..who is going to be a busy bee getting all tidied up!!!
Morning Cantoo..you ok? despite your drive in the white stuff?take it easy out there...oh and enjoy the choccy
Morn ing Daisy 45 hows things in the emerald isle...as for the jokes....cant possibly coment if you get my drift..sure there's not a Paddy n Mick involved in it somewhere? :H
Hi my mate down under how you doing? keep trying it will happen..Lills theres always a place reserved here for you :l
Well thats it for the off now........
How many American tourists does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifteen. Five to figure out how much the bulb costs in the local currency, four to comment on "how funny-looking" local lightbulbs are, three to hire a local person to change the bulb, two to take pictures, and one to buy postcards in case the pictures don't come out.
A gas station in Halifax was trying to increase it's sales. So the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex With Fill-Up." Soon a Canadian pulls in, fills his tank, and then asks for his free sex. The gas attendent tells him pick to a number from 1 to 10 if he guesses correctly, he will get his free sex. The Canadian says, "7" The gas attendent says, "You were close, sir, but the number was 6. Sorry, no sex this time." A week later, the same Canadian, along with his buddy, pulls in for a fill up. Again he asks for his free sex and again the gas attendent gives him the same story and asks him to guess the correct number. The Canadian says, "5" The gas attendent says, "Sorry,it was 4. You were so close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, the Canadian says to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex." The buddy replies,"No, it ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week."
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll go?”
The kangaroo said, “About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!”
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up for a date but she'd popped her clogs.
I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed. I never knew they worked.
A young blonde fears her husband is having an affair. She goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she finds him in bed with a redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps off the bed and starts begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically, the blonde responds to the husband: "Shut up, you're next."
I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts". Well, YES. That's what I bought them for. You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out.
enguin:
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