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November Survivors ~ Week 2

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    #46
    November Survivors ~ Week 2

    Good Morning Everybody. Oh dear Pap, we certainly find out what elderly failing infrastructure means all at once (and I am NOT talking about myself this time). I live in a beloved old city neighborhood and we have sinkholes, leaks, and threats of "contamination" from long gone business ventures. I hate it when the water goes back on and it is all muddy as I fear my own old pipes (and I am still NOT talking about myself) will not be able to handle it. I hope your car roof can also be repaired soon or at least the leak stopped even if the roof may not be operational. Thank you Chill for the good intention reference. I who avoid the doctor at all costs had my two dreaded eye appointments nearly back to back, I feel like a lacrosse game has been played on my corneas. I am still not "correctable" (but you knew that)...with glasses that is, but fine to drive in the daytime which has me thrilled. I also don't need medication for my high eye pressure at it "doesn't seem to bother" my optic nerves. How polite of those nerves. The rest of my nerves are still overreacting to the "small stuff". I hate this but there is nothing I can do except continue to work on my thinking and physical strength and health. Drinking used to calm me down but we all know that when it wears off there is a rebound. I realize that it also would undermine my self confidence which has never been my strong suit; no matter what I accomplished I always felt like an impostor who somehow snuck through and could be discovered at any moment. Drinking is really, really bad for that so I'll skip it. I am half-way through a Tai Chi Chih class which I am also hoping with ground me a bit and settle my rattling soul. The teacher is really cool. Love, Ladybird.
    may we be well

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      #47
      November Survivors ~ Week 2

      Good morning all...

      Pap, I wonder what else will happen out east due to storms, earthquakes, antiquated pipes and who knows what else. Lucky you can go to your sister's house for a shower.

      LBH, it is hard to deal with our fears and anxieties...I too have felt that despite my degrees, hard work and good jobs, I am an imposter. Never good enough. It is a heavy burden to live with. I have noticed it is bad in the morning, so have a list of positive things to think of, correct my thinking and therefore my mood. It is just as easy to think positive as it is to cut yourself down. I like to think, right now I am fine, good, all my needs are met. It is true. I scary worry about a future that could happen, but hasn't and most likely won't. According to the book the Buddha Brain, we are wired to think like this to survive. What do you think?

      Chill, how awesome to get more work writing. Lovely. Is it cold there or could you hike or walk? Twenty two miles IS a long way to drive to exercise, but if it makes you feel good and we know it is good for you, go with it. Hope your exercise equipment gets there ahead of schedule. Any luck on the job front? I have been updating my resume and it is alot of work. I dislike the online thing for applying to jobs as you may never hear back and there is no human interaction.

      Lav, what do you do about food prep for T day if you find out at the last minute? I am going tomorrow morning to buy a turkey and soda, as they are both on sale. I need time to defrost the meat. I loved the article that Chill offered, and agree with you that we can control our thoughts, but we have to want to and practice. I think that is hard for so many, the daily practice.

      Dill, it is even chillier here now. Whew.

      Nrdl, lucky you to have a trip next week. Enjoy.

      Off to exercise and get ready for work. Have a great Tuesday.
      Formerly known as redhibiscus

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        #48
        November Survivors ~ Week 2

        Star, I think there is a boatload of evidence that we are hardwired in favor of fear and avoidance and that it is easy to respond in that same ancient way even though the world we have created is now far different from the one in which we evolved. It's not so useful anymore and for some us far too central in our perceptions. I feel a knot in my core most of the time. I used to think I was stressed because I had an often genuinely stressful job but now I don't have that excuse and the anxiety and vigilance that plagues me just attaches itself to something new. It's not rational, it's not helpful, but it's there in the background, all the time. We can learn more adaptive strategies for our animal nature's fear just as most humans have regarding the "fight or flight" response, and I sort of see that as a last frontier I need to cross to do justice to the life I have been blessed with. I love that on this thread there are often helpful hints, quotes, and stories. Step one, don't drink. Love, Ladybird.
        may we be well

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          #49
          November Survivors ~ Week 2

          What a beautiful sunrise this morning. I woke up at just the right time today.

          I am not busy today at work so I only work a half day, kinda nice, right before Thanksgiving. A little shopping is in order, and a list a mile long. I love cooking on that special day.

          Anybody Black Friday shopping? I may, but never buy anything as I am too tired. Last year it was one in the morning and I thought, what am I doing. But, it was fun.

          LBH, you are so right that drinking seems to promote that natural anxiety. I find it is so peaceful to sleep well and start the day healthy.

          To all, have a great day.
          Formerly known as redhibiscus

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            #50
            November Survivors ~ Week 2

            Good morning friends,

            In a rush to get myself together then out to Curves, drugstore, babysitting, etc. etc.

            The only Black Friday shopping I do Star is online

            LBH, I have had lifelong anxiety too & I am certain that my Dad was the original cause since we are not born with anxiety. Then there was 1st grade & being dropped off at a Catholic school, another extreme anxiety producing situation. It just kept going on & on from there
            Drinking wine was a great relief after a crappy day but we all know what happens when the beast takes over. Now I seek more mindful ways to calm myself

            OK, gotta go for now. Wishing everyone a great AF Wednesday!
            Lav
            AF since 03/26/09
            NF since 05/19/09
            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

            Comment


              #51
              November Survivors ~ Week 2

              Good Morning Survivors

              Star - Im loving the writing work, its what I really love to do but its not paying much. My friend is only getting her business off the ground and I know if sucessful there will be much bigger roles for me in the future. The difficulty is I cant hang on much longer before I will have to take any job to pay the bills. I have given it till the end of 2012 and if she isnt any further forward I have to move on. Im relaxed about it, its out of my hands and im handing it over to my higher power.

              It makes me sad to hear you feel an imposter. Like LBH says fear is such a human condition but its such an unnesessary one. We are born with only 2 fears, fear of falling and fear of loud noises. Everything else we learn from society. I wish we would teach good self esteem in schools. Going back to you feeling like an imposter, I know exactly what you mean, I have spend my whole life looking at others around me thinking how much more capable, cleverer and smarter they are than me. Then last year I met a childhood friend who has make it big in the business world and is incredibly sucessful. I mentioned to him that I didnt really know what I was doing work wise and he let me into a secret..... nobody really does and they are all bluffing! He says he sits at board meetings where everyone talks a good game but they dont really know the answers, he says that acumulatively with them all doing this, it somehow works! I was amazed and look at work rivals slightly differently now.

              Sorry to sound bah hunbug but the shopping frenzy at this time of year gets me annoyed. People buying gifts they cant afford for people who dont really need them or even particularly want them. Its insane! I will only be buying for my Parents and intend to do that online. I niavely went into town last Saturday and was round 3 different carparks trying to find a parking space. I intend to stay well clear of all shopping areas until next year.

              Lav all my crappy days used to end in wine and that just made sure the next day started crappy too! Now a relaxing soak in the bath, soothing music, candles and maybe a treat to eat all work the magic to let me unwind for real. Then after a good sleep I wake up brand new! AF life is good.....
              "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
              AF - JAN 1st 2010
              NF - May 1996

              Comment


                #52
                November Survivors ~ Week 2

                Greeting Survivors!

                Looks like everyone is busy this week

                Chill, I hope you can get your work situation squared away soon. Doing something new & different is exciting though
                This is my super busy time now & I'm doing my best to not let it make me crazy! People get so bizarre under the pressure of holiday shopping. And I am no longer in the sin-eating business :H

                OK, back to work for me. Hope everyone has a good AF Thursday!
                Lav
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                Comment


                  #53
                  November Survivors ~ Week 2

                  I have really been super busy here in Dill-ville, but have taken this afternoon off work to babysit g-baby girl so that her brother can go to a dental appointment. I've just put her down for a nap and am crossed-fingers hopeful that she will take it. I'm one pooped G-ma and I need a nap myself!!!

                  Happy af Thursday everyone.
                  Dill

                  Dont forget, you can: start late, start over, be unsure, try and fail AND STILL SUCCEED!

                  If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

                  Comment


                    #54
                    November Survivors ~ Week 2

                    I hear ya granny Dill :H :H
                    I had my grandsons from 5-8:45 tonight. Fed them, washed their faces & put them into their PJs & that was enough. Phew.....it's not getting any easier but I really do enjoy them

                    Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to do some outlet shopping with my daughter & grandaughter. That should be an experience too :H
                    It's 9:30 & I'm back at work, oh well.....
                    AF since 03/26/09
                    NF since 05/19/09
                    Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                    Comment


                      #55
                      November Survivors ~ Week 2

                      Good morning, hope everyone is well and AF.

                      Going on an overnight road trip today to see my daughter who lives 4 to 5 hours away. This is thejust to visit visit, she will have minor surgery in a few weeks. It is hard to live so far away, but it is awesome to be able to talk everyday and with facetime. We have sunny weather in the 50s to travel through, so that is perfect.

                      Work was tough this week, for lots of reasons. Just wanted to say that drinking never even crossed my mind, and I am so thankful. I find that sticking to eating less and well promotes sleeping and feeling stronger the next day, so I am going with it.

                      LBH, thanks for the input on the imposter phenomenon. Again, that inner critic just doesn't stop unless we recognize it and correct our perceptions. I think it comes from our childhood messages, but also is just part of the primitive brain, so we get a double whammy. Drinking or any other drug is a temporary way to stop the hurt, but later, it hurts even more. Learning to just feel whatever feelings and know they will pass takes practice. Any special plans for next week or do you andLordBH go out?

                      Chill, part of feeling like an imposter is that when things go wrong, that inner critic starts saying, "you're not good enough, of course this is happening." I have been recognizing it, but it is still hard to work through the anxiety it brings on. I enjoyed the information about you friend in business, that everyone is just, "actiing as if," they knew what they were doing. I hope doctors don't act like that although I know some that probably do. Good luck on your job search, persistence is the key. I was told that the better the job, the longer it takes to get. I wonder ifyou would be good in human resources? I know that is a field you can move up in over time. I think I would like a job in human resources. Have you met any neighbors or made any friends in the area? I admire your ability to fearlessly start out in a new area, meet people, and settle.

                      Dill and Lav, your interaction with you grandchildren sounds so fun. Good to hear you are both doing well.

                      This thread has been quiet this week. Hope everyone is AF and doing well. Have a great day.
                      Formerly known as redhibiscus

                      Comment


                        #56
                        November Survivors ~ Week 2

                        Happy AF Friday Guys

                        Yes where is everyone??!!

                        Star - Its a great feeling when we look back and realize that when a stressful situations occurred we no longer even had drinking thoughts. We have come a long way. I have a nephew in HR and he is doing great, its hard to break into these areas and I find many companies are looking for young hungry graduates to train. I have a quiet confidence that the right thing will turn up if I keep myself open to every possibility. No I havent really made any new aquaintances although all the neighbors I meet when out dog walking are very friendly and we usually exchange pleasantries.

                        if im honest my apparent "fearlessness" at starting over is really due to the fact I feel totally displaced, like a refugee who has lost their own country. Portugal is still where I consider home and I dont feel I belong anywhere in the UK. I do really love this part of the Country and hope in time it will feel like home. The Landlord of my little apartment would ideally love to sell it and my dream would be to buy it. Of course financially that would be impossible but Im holding that intention and hoping somehow a miracle will make it possible.

                        It has gone very cold today and I dont intend to venture very far over the weekend.
                        "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
                        AF - JAN 1st 2010
                        NF - May 1996

                        Comment


                          #57
                          November Survivors ~ Week 2

                          Hi All, I am on the plane after missing my connecting flight from Atlanta toMilwaukee yesterday. My trip to MS was a disaster. Nice people but horrible airport experience.

                          Chill-I am glad you atr forgong ahead and keeping aa positivr spirit with regard to finding work. Also, don't let the nausayers grt you doen on the he gym. I have always wanted to ask you..why did you drop out of school when you were 15? Gotta go. Love, Rusty

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                            #58
                            November Survivors ~ Week 2

                            Loads of typos sorry

                            Comment


                              #59
                              November Survivors ~ Week 2

                              Good morning friends,

                              Running a bit behind already today ~ oh well!

                              Rusty, wishing you a safe trip!

                              Chill, it's going to take time for you to feel settled anywhere. You have made lots of moves over the past few years, it's hard. Although I'm not loving the area where I live now I have no idea of where else I would want to be. Seems kind of ridiculous at this age & stage of the game

                              Star, have a great visit with your daughter. I'm seeing my daughter later today too

                              Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Friday!
                              Where is rustop & Papmom??

                              Lav
                              AF since 03/26/09
                              NF since 05/19/09
                              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                              Comment


                                #60
                                November Survivors ~ Week 2

                                Well, I think I've just proven that I cannot text well from my Iphone!:H Sooo....now that I have wi-fi on Delta, I thought I would pop back in and correct my typos using my sleek new Lenovo (formerly IBM) laptop.

                                Chill-what I meant to type was that don't let the people who are trying to talk to you about getting a home gym get you down. I mentioned to my mom the other day that I thought I would get a portable stairstepper....the kind you can fit under your bed, and she tried to talk me out of it....saying I would never use it as I have 4 gym memberships already. Yeah, I know...then why am I not thin? So, I think I will buy it anyway!:H Lots of times, I don't have the time to drive 25 minutes to my 24-hour gym, and while I belong to a gym only a 1/2 mile from my house, the hours aren't always convenient. Just go for it. As I said before, you are very disciplined when it comes to exercise. I was wondering....since you call Portugal home...is there a way you could take a class in Portugese? I remember when you lived there you said the job opportunities were nil because you didn't know the language. Maybe learning the language will give you a new goal...a new mission and intellectual challenge....especially if living in the UK doesn't work out since your landlord may sell the apartment. Just sayin.:l

                                Star-I know what you mean about being an impostor. I feel like one every day of my life. I have suffered from low self-esteem since childhood. I use self-depracating humor to deal with it. Sorry about the bad work week. Same here for me.

                                Dill-I hope you had a fun day with your granddaughter. It's much easier to look after little ones when we are AF. I know that's the case for me.

                                Pap-I hope you took the day off to work on your baby quilt.

                                Lav-enjoy the outlet mall shopping. Also, did you say your daughter noticed her arthritis pain is a lot less since she gave up wheat? I am having a hard time losing weight and my doctor said I should give up all wheat.

                                I'm kind of worried about Rustop, who has not checked in all week. I think I will send her a PM.

                                Kaslo, where are you?

                                LBH-like you, I used AL for anxiety, and now I know why they call it a journey in recovery. Trying to manage my anxiety without self-medicating has been a bit of a challenge, but Baclofen helps with that. Your words about AL moving further and further away keeps replaying in my head. Being AF has given me a great sense of self-worth, something I haven't felt in years. It will be especially helpful this weekend, as Monday I go in for a colonoscopy. I've been quite anxious about it as there's a huge history of it in my family, and due to my self-abuse with AL and food the last few years, and having some scary symptoms of colon cancer the last few months, I'm worried. However, I am living in the present, as worrying about it will not affect the outcome. I used to think, "I CAN'T drink anymore. Now, I'm comfortable to say, "I don't WANT to."

                                Well, I didn't get much sleep last night so I think I will take a snooze. I hope everyone has a happy AF Friday.

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