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    #61
    November Survivors ~ Week 2

    Good morning MAbsters. I am here. I read the thread and its full of wonderful stuff, reassurance, encouragement, reading it for me was like my favorite comfort food, a toasted tunafish sandwich.. Only no cal. Who knew? Chill Im of the same opinion. Get what you want if you can. Also taking a course in Portuguese might be fun too. I bet you know more of it than you think. Startgazer, you really understand how to live. What can I add to an already peaceful, intospective thread...hmmm. I am working hard to finish up before MrK and I go on a trip to a northern Kootenay city to take a course in multiple regression statistics. Sounds like a snoozer? Noooo. For me, I get a thrill out of seeing how one variable covaries with another variable over time or some kind of environmental gradient.

    As a child, my mother would go out on her milk route and cloister me up in the kitchen nook with a sheet of plywood jammed against the entryway. I discovered I could get out by climbing through under the kitchen sink, and out through a cupboard on the other side of the nook counter. On my way, I encountered bottles and jars and spices, bags of potatos all rooty, shoe polish, insecticides, spare cutlery collections from Scotland. Because she and all the others thought I was secure in the nook with my bowl of cereal and a few toys on the floor, she never locked the doors. I could make my way out to the garden, and wander around outside, in the snow, rain, wind, sunshine, etc. I could get to the vegetable garden or the chicken house and check it all out. I knew enough to go back before she came back up the driveway, and into the house smelling of cold air, and the dairy. I was a full 6 years younger than the youngest child of a failing disasterous marraige. I learned very quickly that if I was quiet and kept to myself, and worked hard at things, I could pretty much do, get, be what ever I wanted to do, get or be.

    Stats isnt everything. I booked a trip to Kuaui, Hawaii leaving from Vancouver the second day after the course, in a two bedroom condo not on the beach but near it, in Poipou, and a Jeep. Its our third trip to Hawaii, but our first trip to Kuaui, so off I go downstairs to the dungeon to pay for it.

    Lav, as always, keep your pecker up, as the Scots say. You could consider making an escape. Watch out for the boxes of Scots cutlery on the way out.

    Love to all, Kas
    Kaslo

    Stopped the madness: February 14, 2011
    Status: Happy:h

    Comment


      #62
      November Survivors ~ Week 2

      Hi Guys,

      I'm home!!!!

      Kas, I smiled as I read your story about your mom penning you into the nook, and you, the clever imp (imp is a loving word LBH uses to describe me sometimes), maneuvering your way through the cabinet. It's a scene right out of "Leave It to Beaver." Your trip to Kootenay sounds fascinating, even though your career is something that is waaayyy over this Cheesehead's head. I am envious that you are going to Kuaui. It sounds idyllic. I've been to Hawaii as well but not the smaller islands, only Oahu. Also, I chuckled when you told Lav to "keep her pecker up." The word pecker has a totally different meaning in the US than it does in Scotland!:H I would say more but I do not want to be crass today. This is not the Monthly AF Crudity Thread. Must get my hair cut and colored now. I must look my best before I get "hosed" on Monday. I'll be back later. I love you guys. Like Kas said, this place is good comfort food....for the soul.

      Comment


        #63
        November Survivors ~ Week 2

        Wonderful memory, Kas. I certainly would have enjoyed you as a little girl. Rusty, my imp, you are going to be in my thoughts (you will probably notice me around in your brain also, I am with you). I know the scary loneliness of some of these medical appointments and procedures. Our goal is to figure out how to live with our feelings, it is transforming but far easier said than done. So I'll be with you and so will the rest of us, in your brain, holding your marbles so you don't have to. I still have one medical procedure that I have yet to not have a drink when it is done but that day will come, I am sure of it. I am currently typing this in an enormous font to paste over at MWO because the eye examinations I had over the last week caused edema in my corneas and I can't see what the f*** I am doing. At the same time that I can't read reliably (let alone the fine print) I am caught in a week long death grip between the inconsistent rules of my new HMO, my new pharmacy, and my new doctor, none of whom are inspiring a modicum of confidence regarding a really simple thing. It is a good thing I feel responsible for my own health as these people are telling me three different, completely mutually incompatible things. I got so anxious yesterday after several phone calls I nearly screamed, I would tell one party what another needed and they would say that they didn't need that (but they do), they would say something was approved (it wasn't) they would tell me what someone else said was "nonsense" did I hear it wrong (I did not...I even checked back...twice), etc. I am making an effort to put a positive spin on it today, humor instead of the anxiety that is my usual response at being dependent on people and organizations who do not appear to have my best interests in mind. A good thing to overcome as it does come up now and then. I have been in such a dark place this week I think I have lost five pounds and am now below 112. I don't recommend a knot in the stomach for weight loss. I am feeling better emotionally this afternoon although nothing has changed but my feelings. It is enough, actually everything if you think about it. A simple AF evening will be mine. Love, Ladybird aka Skinnybird.
        may we be well

        Comment


          #64
          November Survivors ~ Week 2

          Well ~ that's better Rusty :H

          Yes, my daughter is feeling 90% better since going 'wheatless'. She was just telling me today that her pain now is only in the foot & ankle area. That's a great improvement
          Oh, and she's lost some weight too. We made dinner tonight using brown rice pasta (like ziti) & it was good.
          I hope you don't spend all weekend pre-worrying about the colonoscopy.....we all dislike that stuff. Keep your thoughts positive, OK? :l

          Kas, have an awesome trip! I have to tell you though that I am profoundly jealous :H
          I'm sure you'll take some nice pics for me......

          LBH, the health care system keeps getting stinkier, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.
          We all need an advocate - someone to help us wander through all that confusion. I'm dreading the Medicare era myself even though I thought I understood it at one point. It seems to be changing almost daily, it's confusing
          I hope your vision clears very soon. I think I'd better send you some soup & maybe a chicken to put some meat on your bones. Take care of yourself!!!!

          I think I'm going to call it a day ~ tired tonight.
          Have a good night one & all!
          Lav
          AF since 03/26/09
          NF since 05/19/09
          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

          Comment


            #65
            November Survivors ~ Week 2

            Just re-reading and I missed Rusty. A colonoscopy sounds very scary and I dont know what I would have to do to prepare my mind for that. Hoping for the best for you. kas
            Kaslo

            Stopped the madness: February 14, 2011
            Status: Happy:h

            Comment


              #66
              November Survivors ~ Week 2

              hey dear ones,
              papmom checking in and all is well.

              Rusty-you will be fine on Monday. I seriously did not think it was as bad as all the hype makes it out to be. So you spend a few hours on the terlet (as Archie B used to say)-think of it as a free colonic!! the rich and famous pay dearly for those!! They put you out for the procedure and you wake up feeling pretty darn refreshed and hungry!!

              LBH-I'm so sorry you are having a rotten time navigating the health care system. I have had my share of run ins and it is exhausting!! An advocate isn't a bad idea, especially if it is making you sicker. I do hope your eyes feel better soon. :l

              Kas-oh you lucky duck going to Hawaii!! I've never been but would love to!! You definitely will be expected to post pics!! Your story of your kitchen incareration was precious! I had such a wonderful visual!!

              Dill-thanks for checking in. I can't even imagine how busy you must be! You and Lav-super grannies!!

              Star-hope you have a wonderful trip visiting your daughter is it?

              Chill-keep that chin up-you are so due for some wonderful things!!

              I spoke to my good friend who retired this summer (hubby has the brain tumor) and she sounded so good and upbeat! They have settled into a routine and she is in a care givers support group and has been asked to serve on a panel to improve the group!! She's coming up for lunch on Tues and I can't wait to see her!!

              time to hit the hay before I fall asleep on my laptop! Will check in this weekend.
              :h
              New Birthday: May 8, 2010

              "Because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything."[/i]-The Universe

              KO the Beast!!

              Comment


                #67
                November Survivors ~ Week 2

                Quote For The Day

                Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about CREATING yourself.-quotable magnet.

                Good Morning Everyone!

                I thought this quote was especially pertinent to several of us here who have had to recreate themselves and find new jobs, careers, dwellings. Career-wise, I have re-created myself 7 times....and I may not be done yet.

                LBH-my Skinnybird.:l Before I used AL as a crutch, in 1987, when I was an investigative news reporter in radio, I weighed 112 pounds....and it was all because I was so anxious that I couldn't eat, and when I did, everything went right through me. I hope the pain in your eyes has subsided. Oh, the hassle with the insurance company...I empathize with you, as you and I are having the same experience right now!!! I am STILL battling with the insurance company and the hospital from my neck injury in August, 2011. What I have found is gross negligence and incompetence on the part of my insurance company. And boy, has it ever been a "he said, she said" situation. I hope you get it sorted out soon, and be kind to yourself. You must look emaciated, and your eyes are not dancing and sparkling, as I envision them to be when you are at peace.

                Thank you everyone for your encouragement re: colonoscopy. I am not afraid of the procedure....I've had one before. It's just that I've had symptoms that lead me to believe I may have polyps, etc. I am not fretting about it today, though, as I am living in the present.

                Pap-did you finish your baby quilt? I am delighted you will be able to have lunch with your friend on Tuesday. I know you were there for her when her husband was first diagnosed with his brain tumor. Such a good friend you are!:h

                Star-you asked about Black Friday shopping? No, I don't do it anymore. I will be putting up my two pre-lit Christmas trees on Black Friday.

                Lav-I hope you have a kid-free day today. You sure deserve it.

                A shoutout to Rustop-hope you're ok. Big hellos to Chill, Lav, Dill, Kas, and anyone I may have missed. Have a fabulous AF Saturday!

                Comment


                  #68
                  November Survivors ~ Week 2

                  Hi Rusty-so sorry-mis understood your anxiety!! Yes, polyps are very scary. My poor sister had her first colonoscopy a few weeks ago and they had to send out a polyp for review. I haven't heard what the dx was so I assume all was fine. I pray it is the same for you. I realize how freaking lucky I was they didn't find anything in me after all abuse I've given my body over the years with AL and poor eating habits. My dad has a history of Chron's so colon cancer is always a possibility with him and any family member but so far so good. I'll be thinking and praying for you on Monday!!

                  I can't remember the last time I was 112!! Must have been in high school!! my reaction to stress was to drink and eat. now it is just eating. Bah.

                  I do not do black friday either and I don't think I will put up decorations this year. I'm not home enough to enjoy them and I think they didn't come down until April of this year which is really redic.

                  time to get ready for work-should be a very fun day. Its a store I like very much AND they are getting Cash Mobbed today so she invited a few of us demo reps. They are expecting over 100 people between 11 and 2 and they all have committed to buying at least $10 worth of merchandise today. I have extra samples to give out and am very excited!!

                  Yes Rusty, I have finished the quilt except for the tying off. I'm hoping to get that done this weekend after work but if not, should beable to do it at class on tuesday. Its tedious work and my least fav thing to do so of course I am procrastinating.

                  Have a great day everyone!!
                  New Birthday: May 8, 2010

                  "Because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything."[/i]-The Universe

                  KO the Beast!!

                  Comment


                    #69
                    November Survivors ~ Week 2

                    Good morning kids,

                    I guess we should start a week 3 thread, huh? Maybe tomorrow :H

                    Sunny & chilly here, normal for this time of year. Grateful I finally remembered to plug in my room humidifier last night. I did NOT wake up with my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth this morning :H

                    Have a great day Rusty, Papmom & everyone!
                    Have no plans except catching up on some work & maybe some dreaded house cleaning.

                    Later!
                    Lav
                    AF since 03/26/09
                    NF since 05/19/09
                    Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                    Comment


                      #70
                      November Survivors ~ Week 2

                      Greetings thread mates on a chilly AF Saturday. LBH, I am so sorry you are having such problems visually. Have you had any improvement yet? Have you been restricted in your activities in any way, aside from reading and writing? It must be very disorienting. I am not happy to hear you are so thin. I think you better try to put on a few pounds over this holiday season, my dear. Please have seconds on the pie.

                      Rusty, I do hope your colonoscopy is negative and that no polyps are found. You?ll be in my thoughts! And thanks for the lovely quote. It is so true

                      Pmom, I am hardly a super-granny, but I do my best. My hat is off to the many grandparents across the nation who have had to step in and become guardians to their grandchildren. It?s quite a phenomenon these days because of rampant addiction to pain meds, drugs and al and other reasons. At my age I tire quickly and am always happy to return the little ones to their daddy! I feel like I need to step up more than I do to give him some relief. Single parenting is no picnic.

                      Kaslo, I was left wondering ?why?? after reading your childhood recollection. Why were you left alone? For how long? Long enough to figure an intricate escape plan, so I am thinking too long at age 6. I really was confused by your story, unsure if it was a pleasant memory for you, or a sad one.

                      Lav, I am really happy to hear that your daughter is feeling so much better after having removed wheat from her diet. It makes sense that some would have trouble with wheat products given our evolution. I?m glad there are so many other products on the shelf now than there used to be. Yes, it?s time for week 3. Whoever gets on here first tomorrow should start it!

                      Star, sorry you had a rough week at work. I had a couple of bad days myself, so I can relate. It?s wonderful that you did not have thoughts of drinking. I can?t say the same. But, you are right about focusing on the basics: eating right, self care and doing what it takes to promote a good night?s sleep. It?s such a great substitute for alcohol!! Wine just doesn?t even compare. It used to have its place but then it became too greedy, demanding, controlling and abusive and it was time to let it go.

                      Chill, your comment: ?I wish we would teach good self esteem in schools?, gave me pause and made me think. I don?t think schools are the place to develop self-esteem, but home and family are. I don?t think schools should be given any role other than to educate. Am I alone in this point of view?

                      Off to my Saturday morning routine. Will be looking for you in the periphery, LBH.
                      Dill

                      Dont forget, you can: start late, start over, be unsure, try and fail AND STILL SUCCEED!

                      If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

                      Comment


                        #71
                        November Survivors ~ Week 2

                        Hi everyone, and special hello ot Ladybird, I have had the experience of losing my sight. Best wishes for you.

                        Dill, thank you for having the interest to read between the lines. I am not sure its a happy story either. I can try to explain, that my upbringinging was a function of the times, I was the last of a batch of four children born to a Scottish war bride. My mother met my father when he was stationed in N of England, during WWII. He was a spit fire pilot and ended the war the leader of the squadron. He was worried he would not survive, and end the family line. My mother was a graduate of Edinburgh School of Domestic Sciences, and wanted a man, especially one in uniform with a batman, as her family was well to do. I am sure my dad told her all about the several ranches the family owned, but didnt tell her that by the time she arrived in Canada off the train with a sickly child, my eldest brother, that his family had pretty much lost it all during the depression, and was now scattered about in apartments or like him, living with his drunken father, and a Shuswap woman, on the indian reserve in a shack with a dirt floor. She dusted him off and had him farming again and ten years later, after three kids, and a lot of tribulation, she found herself pregnant with me. She must have been furious. I know she frogmarched my father in for a vasectomy, the first in my home town, (if a four foot 11" woman could frogmarch a 6 foot man). When I was able to sit up without falling over, she was ready to do something, anything, rather than sling hash for the dairy workers and she took up the town milk route. Thus, into the plywood lockup every day for I dont know how many years. I was born of a Scot from Princes Street, but my father was the child of pioneers, who tied toddlers to trees so they could chop wood/kill chickens/ roun out to the rhubarb for the makings for a pie, etc.

                        My take was, at an early age, learn how to adapt. I listened to the family arguments, the violence, fists slamming the table, the shrieks of pain from my older siblings from under the table, in the shadows of the "living room", and when my dad left when I was 9 or so, I didnt understand the lecture I got in the rose garden about something having to do with the future being different than now, and I cant really remember but then he was gone and my mom was left to drink rather a lot and get a job teaching.... home economics.

                        Looking at it dispassionately, I have a few choices. I can weep for the lack of affection and obvious disregard for my safety and well being, or I can rejoice that I was given the freedom to wander amoung the weeds and animals of a dairy farm with complete freedom from a very early age. That I could creep out to my fort in the haystack with my Rupert books and poetry and no one ever noticed. My father was killed a few years after he left, flew his plane into a mountain, and my mother lived a long, bitter life, but she was funny, smart, and a lousy cook. I think as an adult I was more acceptable, and I certainly made her proud. I was not genetically predisposed to being a criminal, or a patron of state aid, after all.

                        I was however, genetically predisposed to developing an addiction to alcohol. Fortunately the forays into the applied science of the barnyard, orchard and irrigation ditches gave me the basic interest in what made things tick. My mother and father gave me the genetic predisposition but also the ability to sort out what was wrong with me, and I had the strength to change it and stop drinking before it got too toxic. I think I actually owe them that.

                        So that is my answer.

                        Down to my dungeon office to keep paying for my Hawaiin holiday. Lol!
                        Kaslo

                        Stopped the madness: February 14, 2011
                        Status: Happy:h

                        Comment


                          #72
                          November Survivors ~ Week 2

                          Hi Kas...just read your story..very interesting ....thanks
                          af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 12

                          Comment


                            #73
                            November Survivors ~ Week 2

                            Thanks Mick.
                            Kaslo

                            Stopped the madness: February 14, 2011
                            Status: Happy:h

                            Comment


                              #74
                              November Survivors ~ Week 2

                              Kas, I am sooo sorry!

                              Kas,

                              I read your story...and somehow it brought back to me a funny image of an episode I had seen in a popular old TV show called "Leave it To Beaver." I wasn't sure if you meant this scene to be funny, but I also asked myself the questions Dill did. I made light out of your situation, and looking back on it now, it was really inappropriate, and I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I take an interest in ALL your posts. Your wisdom transcends your sense of humor. Thank you for taking the time to explain your childhood. You are absolutely a November Survivor, and your school of hard knock childhood and a very early learned behavior to adapt to challenges, truly typifies the meaning of survivor this month.:l I am glad you are here. Mick even stopped in. A shout out to Mick....why don't you post on our thread more often? We'd love to hear from you.

                              Dill- I am in your corner on this topic:
                              I don?t think schools are the place to develop self-esteem, but home and family are. I don?t think schools should be given any role other than to educate. Am I alone in this point of view?
                              No, you are not alone. I believe this as well.

                              Ok, back to the football game. I'll be back later.

                              Comment


                                #75
                                November Survivors ~ Week 2

                                Interesting story Kas. I think I didn't see your vignette as sad or scary at first as your early life turned out to be rather like mine and like you I just lived in it. I was raised as the only child of a single mother who had a wealthy birth but lost her own mother as an infant and her father five years later. She never had a family after that. She was beautiful physically, called "exquisite" once in a newspaper piece, but also mentally ill and an alcoholic. The loss of my father when I was three just did in her already compromised spirit. Like you I was alone, for me particularly from age seven to nine, but I thought it "normal"?she left me with a distant bachelor cousin (who was actually a real rocket scientist) at his beach "house" (very primitive, outdoor facilities, bed on the porch ) for two months at a time, he was at work long hours and I ran free?I would have the same braids in my hair for weeks, I had little middens of tidal "collections", she called me her "feral" daughter. I think that was a compliment. When I was seven I took the train by myself from LA to Detroit and later to D.C. I know the porters looked out for me and I even had my dachshund but I now realize that people don't usually do that with their kids. Good question by the way, Dill. I think if children have the opportunity to learn academic subjects well, the self esteem will usually follow, even if they have not had a prayer for it in their family, and be based on real success rather than what sometimes ends up as "feeling good about yourself no matter what". Psychopaths tend to have great self-esteem:H. I was one, however, who did very well but never made the leap to "being well". Not sure if a school could have helped me. I would like to think so. Love, Ladybird.
                                may we be well

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