Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

[retteacher]

Everyone:

I just read the end of last week's thread. I've heard those stories of being reunited w/children & fam. It's wonderful what sobriety can do.

The state convention on Sat. was wonderful. I went w/2 of my girlfriends from prog. There was an alkathon which I stuck to. It was all about the steps. I went to 3 meetings on step 4 alone...the 3 different parts of step 4: resentments, fears, sex. It was a packed house each time.

I learned a lot about how important it is to work the steps in a serious manner. I have to admit I'm at a bit of a stalemate, as my sponsor has been going through cancer treatment. I'm going to meet w/her next week on step 2. I do step 1 every single day. I try NEVER to forget that I'm an alcoholic who is powerless.

One of our very active AAers in the weekend meetings had a relapse last week. On Thurs he drank. He announced it during the "burning desire" part of the meeting. I think he's on track now, but you can never, ever take your sobriety for granted. The disease is ALWAYS lurking.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

Hi all!

Mary - thanks for getting us started this week. Sounds like the State conference was awesome! I haven't been to a big event in a while - hearing about it makes me want to go again! There is a big event coming up this weekend - it is always the weekend before thanksgiving. I went a couple years ago and had a great time. Unfortunately I have too much homework to think about going this year! LOL I need next weekend to write a research paper!

BG - I love hearing how you are starting to feel more comfortable talking to people after meetings. I really love how AA gives us the opportunity to develop relationship / social skills that (in my case anyway) were WAY under developed as I turned to AL at the least little sign of social discomfort. AA is a great place to practice and learn new skills - at least it has been that way for me.

Mtngirl - that's a great story about your experience going back to school! I had many of the same concerns you describe about being an older student, but I am no longer concerned either. I too find that life experience has a way of making up for youth sometimes!

Well - it's back to the books for me. Big test tomorrow night. I'm grateful to be sober!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

DG: You're so right about learning new social skills in AA. I had let myself get very isolated while drinking. Going to the convention w/other women really was a big step for me. For one thing, it was a couple of hours away, & I tend to be a little phobic about driving on hwys. For another, I hadn't done anything extensive like that w/friends for a long while. So, the weekend was a leap forward for me. Mary

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

that is a huge step, mary...don't know if i could do it...yet. i was just invited to my neighbor's later today to make soap, and i am already thinking of reasons i "can't" go. i should just GO!!!
thanks dg, but funny timing...last night i had a full blown anxiety attack at the 90 minute meeting...i was called on in the m iddle of it because i was fidgeting and taking deep breaths, and i basically started to cry and said i was just trying to make it second by second. i'm sure it was caused by the amount of black tea i drank yesterday and i didn't eat dinner...it wasn't emotional, purely physical anxiety, but YUCK! i hate that! luckily i have some skills in meditation and calming myself, so i was able to breathe through it and compose myself through meditation. i was bummed because i LOVED the topic and was excited to share (for once!)...oh well, it was a lesson in non-attatchment to even an idea or thought!
and of course, after the meeting i got a lot of hugs and "i know how you feels", so that was nice.

ANYWAY, hope you all have a good week...it feels like sunday here as my whole family is home and it is rainy and cold outside...i'll be drinking green and rooibos tea today!

peace!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

BettyG: Whenever I feel resistance about doing something, there might be some kind of fear there. It's always a good idea for me to take the leap & do it. Mary

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

arrrrghh....i am really NOT wanting to go to a meeting today...i just don't feel like it. probably a reason i should go, eh? i'm kind of sick of meetings, but i think it's just my state of mind today...hormones. i will do some gentle yoga, meditate and get thyself off to a nooner.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

I too find that the more I am resisting the idea of something, the more I probably need to "just do it!!"

BG - I wish there were "nooners" here! I'm sort of suprised there aren't. I wish I could go with you.

Have a great day one and all.

DG

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

aw, that would be awesome dg! i have to say, i took my dogs for walks instead (i have a very rambunctious one year old german shepherd/pit bull mix foster dog who i have to walk separately because she has NO mannners, and my 3 dogs), so i walked for 2 hours. i am going to a new meeting at 6 tonight instead...i need to get out of this meeting funk...i will!
hope everyone is well...i think i'm disappointed in my homegroup because quite a few of the regulars have proven to be homophobic and reallynot pleasant people. i know i will always be around people i disagree with, but i don't have to chose to hang out with them at meetings. i'll keep searching. it's kind of fun to go to new meetings anyway...and a bit terrifying (in a good life-affirming way!).

i was going to mention that the magazine "tricycle" had a whole issue devoted to addiction. it's a buddhist magazine, but a lot of buddhist ideas are very similar to aa's traditions...be here now, let go kind of stuff. it's online as well.

peace~

[Solitaire]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

Hello there from sunny South Africa! Already Thursday morning here, and I put the time aside to clean up my office! Admin and I not the best of friends .
I am attending many meetings, loving it, even chaired my 1st on Monday AND it went well! Service comes naturally for me... A young (gay) guy and I sort of took over the Monday meeting, as there was no structure, etc. And the excitement seems to be contageous, the feed-back is very good!
I plan to go to a NA meeting tonight, a woman's meeting at a rehab... I have been there on a Sunday for AA, but it was suggested to attend the odd NA just to keep perspective.
Just for today I will remember:

Third Step Prayer

God, I offer myself to Thee — to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!

Love, Sol xxx

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

Hi all! BG - I love trying out new meetings! I hope the one last night was interesting. Love 'em or not, they are almost always interesting!

Sol - you sound so energized and it IS contagious! I love this thread. Good for you on the service work! Thank you for including the 3rd step prayer. The part that always stands out for me is the "bondage of self." What a great reminder that so many of my problems and limitations in life are self induced. I defnitely need help to get free of that viscious self centered madness!

AA (and NA, Alanon, etc.) are sometimes referenced during classes at school. I only realized last night that NA has a different text of it's own. Duh! I guess I just assumed maybe it was like OA that uses the AA Big Book as it's foundational text. Anyway....at some point - maybe over the holiday bread - I need to read that. I guess a new NA book just got release (or is about too?) that is more geared towards "clean living" for those who have been clean and sober for a bit. Anyone heard about that/read it?

DG

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

huh! i didn't know they had separate texts either! we have a lot of na folks in our aa meetings, and they are welcomed with open arms...i assumed they were pretty much the same. ya learn something new everyday! (hopefully!).

i did go to a new meeting. it was allright. small and short (only 1/2 an hour and everyone was done talking!), but i also drove to a place where another meeting was happening and it looked a bit more populated, so i might try it sometime. i am going to my favorite meeting tonight...i just love the people there.

i was reading the buddhist 12 steps last night and it was addressing the feelings i have about certain folks in some of the groups i go to, and i realized (of course) that it is a place for me to practice acceptance and love of ALL beings, not just the ones who are "easy" to love. so i will go to meetings with an open heart and learn from the people i might disagree with and also talk to them about some of the things they say and how those things can harm others in the group. the one guy who said "this book was written when being gay meant happy and when a fag was a cigarette" (cringe), claims to think before he speaks now, and if what he says isn;t the right thing, he doesn;t say it anymore after 25 years of sobriety...well, maybe i can help him learn that he is alienating people in the group by saying such hurtful things. maybe i will be helping him? i don't know, but i am going to try. i can't change him, or anyone, but i can tell them how their words can harm others in a group that is supposed to be welcoming to all who want to stop drinking/using.

anyway, what do you guys think?

peace!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

BettyG: It's always best to speak the truth...in program I've heard: "Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean." That seems to sum it up.

[Solitaire]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

Friday morning here... I went to my 1st NA meeting last night, at a rehad, and it was very "disturbing" for me... Realising that there is no class difference in addiction! It was a woman's meeting, so the shares were open and very honest... The pain in that room was tangible!!! I left with wet eyes, and even more fired to spread the word... I am going to a rally about an hour from home on Saturday, we leave in convoy straight after our BB meeting. Have a good, sober, honest, caring, sharing week-end my friends!
Sol xxx

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

you too solitaire!!!

i am excited for an aa potluck this saturday (never thought i'd say that!). i think my husband is going as well. should be fun. alot of really nice folks are going to be there, and it will be nice to get out and talk with people. since we moved 1/2 way across the country a year and a half ago, we don't have a social life at all. my husband never drinks, so he won't mind hanging out with a bunch of sober drunks, hell, he's married to one!
had a really great meeting today. talked about prayer/meditation and of course, i teared up when it was my turn. i just get overwhelmed with gratitude sometimes when i talk about how much aa has helped me...after the meeting one woman told me a i was a "light". that was nice...made me feel good about my share, even if it was a blubbery one!

peace and love to everyone...let's have a lovely sober weekend.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 12 - Nov. 18

retteacher;1411729 wrote: BettyG: It's always best to speak the truth...in program I've heard: "Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean." That seems to sum it up.

Mary - that really does sum it up, and it makes me realize that I over think things (and over TALK things) a lot. Always something to work on LOL!

BG - I too would want to express myself about tolerance to others - ALL people who have a desire to stop drinking should feel welcome in AA. We watched a really interesting film in one of my classes last night called Tough Guise. The man who talks throughout has spent years researching the issue of male violence in our our current society. He talks about how threatening it was to the dominant Euro/white male cultures in the 60's / 70's when several key social movements were all at fever pitch - the women's movement, the equal rights movement (African Americans and gay/lesbian in different fronts), and the anit-war movement. All these thing collided to upset the status quo. This researcher believes we are still feeling the effects today of a rebellion from the dominant groups to all of this social change. From a timing standpoint, this all makes sense to me when I think of the "25 years sober" crowd. They were getting sober in the midst of that social era and may still be influenced in ways they are not even aware.

FWIW - a bit off topic!! Anyway...the pot luck sounds like fun and I hope your husband enjoys it too. The man I called my Step Coached (he passed a while back) was very active in the social side of AA along with his wife. They were a terrific couple - helped many and also shared a lot of laughter!

Sol - your convoy sounds exciting! I hope you have a good time and I hope you will tell all about it afterwards!

There are MANY people I meet around the tables who either also go to NA, or have opted to go to AA only despite recovering from drug issues. I think one issue (also faced by other 12 step groups) is that there are vastly more AA meetings available than NA meetings. It is difficult for people to find places to set up NA meetings due to concerns over illegal drug dealing, theft, etc. Just like it wouldn't be shocking to find out someone had a bottle in their car (or coat pocket) at an AA meeting, it wouldn't be shocking to find out someone had drugs at an NA meeting. Because it's illegal and also (IMO) because of the STIGMA - it is just harder for folks to get meetings going.

I have also heard from several females that they have experienced an abundance of 13th step effort at NA meetings. I can't speak to that personally. I suspect there are better and worse groups for that sort of thing just like at AA. But with AA there are way more meetings to choose from so I think for women who have had a negative experience in that regard, it's just easier to find meetings.

I want to learn more about all this and there is a guy in my classes who is open about his involvement in NA. I think I will talk to him more - especially so that when I am a counselor I will have a better feel for the truth of all this. I should also go to some open NA meetings. Never a shortage of things to do!!!! I'm sort of thinking out loud with my fingers here...

Tomorrow I start a "short topic" class (meets just 3 Saturdays) on DUI counseling. I'm sure I will be cringing from time to time, as well as being grateful that I never killed anyone.

Anyway....waving to everyone else and wishing you all a good weekend!