November Survivors ~ Week 3 and 1/2

[rustop59]

November Survivors ~ Week 3 and 1/2

Good morning everyone

Happy Birthday Papmom, hope you have a wonderful day.

Big hugs Chill, what absolutely terrible news regarding your friend. I am sure her life was all the richer for having you in it. I know just how frustrating it is to be in another country when someone close to you is ill, you feel so useless. I am sure she knows you are thinking of her and would be with her if you could.

Moving the pony to a cheaper livery yard today. Hope it works out ok, have heard mixed reports. I don't like change, makes me feel uncomfortable but such is life.

Have a great Saturday everyone.

Rustop

[Rusty]

November Survivors ~ Week 3 and 1/2

:bday3::rockband:HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAPMOM (AND CHEERS TO THE BEST FURMOM EVER!):h I hope you have the best B-Day ever....you probably will because you are AF! Umm...no Christmas decorations went up. I was a total pig on Thanksgiving and took a very long nap yesterday. I also did some Black Friday shopping close to home. No long lines though....I prefer to support our local, family-owned businesses.

Chill-I am soooo sorry to hear about your friend.:l She is lucky to have a friend like you. Chill, I know you can't be with your friend now, but why don't you write her a long letter, telling her about the impact she has had on your life? You could mention special times you shared....a trip, a lunch. She would appreciate that more than anything, and believe me, she will read that letter over and over. I lost my brother and my father, and even though it was nice of people to send flowers, what I really loved(and so did my family) were the cards and letters people wrote, describing how my brother and father had been good friends and mentors, and how they were better people because of those friendships. A letter would be cathartic for you, too...rather than letting all that sadness bottle up inside you. Also, I know you miss Portugal, and I've said this before...but is there any way you could learn the language? Does your local library have foreign language CDs like they do here in the US?

Rustop-good luck with the move to the new livery. Hope it works out ok. I can see where you would be nervous. My sister had the same experience moving her horses a number of years ago. It worked out. Sending positive vibes your way.

Lav, I can't believe you see Amish people in LIQUOR stores. Tsk tsk. Seems rather hypocritical to me. And then the Amish woman tries to grab the same toy. Go figure. How was your Thanksgiving? Did I miss your post somewhere?

Big hellos to everyone else. Yes, I WILL put some Christmas decs up today.

Happy AF Saturday, everyone!

[Stargazerlily]

November Survivors ~ Week 3 and 1/2

Good morning to all...

Pap, Happy Birthday!!! Sounds like your birthday weekend is turning out with lots of nice plans, have fun.

Chill, so sorry your friend is so ill and you can't be there. Knowing about her children makes it even harder! Does she have someone to help her out? Hard to believe no hospice, a wonderful program. Take care of yourself, you have been through alot emotionally in the last month

Kas, have fun on your trips and take lots of pictures.

Lav, I too had leftovers last night and they were delicious!!! Any fun plans today? I am going to put up my Christmas tree and all the decorations--it helps with the lights when it is so dark out so much. I went Black Friday shopping with my friend and it was fun!! We started around 9:30 a.m., no rush, and I bought a few things at a department store, not too busy. Then, Kohl's. OMG, it was insane. Seriously, the check out line went to the back of the store, probably over 100 people in line. We laughed and said there was nothing we wanted that badly. Then, just browsed, it was fun. The weather cooperated with a cold biting wind and SNOW, not enough to accumulate, just enough to make it Christmassy.

Dill, so grateful for you too. It is wonderful beyond words to have a holiday and be fully present. I was reading that overcoming addictions is so important on our spiritual journey, that it helps us to be closer to our true selves and God. So wonderful that you are there for your son and grandkids. Hope your weekend is peaceful and harmonious.

Rusty, lots of family time for you? Hope you are better and healing from your fall. Any Christmas decorating this weekend?

Hello to Rustop, LBH, Jolie, and everyone!! Have a great Saturday.

[Rusty]

November Survivors ~ Week 3 and 1/2

Hi Star!

Wow, I am glad you had fun Black Friday shopping and wow, the line at Kohl's! Good thing you just browsed and didn't buy. You sound in good spirits for decorating. I am continuing to heal. Thank you for asking.:l I think yesterday I slept during the day because I never REALLY rested after my concussion. I kept right on working. I really let my body relax yesterday. My Thanksgiving was wonderful...thank you. Yes, lots of family time, laughter and spending time with my nieces and nephews. I think of you often, Star....how is your son doing?

[Stargazerlily]

November Survivors ~ Week 3 and 1/2

Rusty, he is doing OK. He moved back in with us as his roommate was an alcoholic, and he was unable to live with someone so out of control emotionally and financially. He has a group of friends, his job is steady, although he is at the poverty line at $10 an hour. School is going well, so he is really busy with hopes for the future. No special relationship at this time, but friends call him and want to go out, he is always laughing and lots of fun. We laughed really hard at Thanksgiving, just about goofy things. So, he is moving forward, but not your regular young adult.

It is interesting to me, I just don't care what others think. I have done extensive reading on trauma and realize that years of bullying affected his CNS and development. Seeking counseling, they referred to a psychiatrist who drugged him up, when that is NOT what he needed.

That is where we are at right now. Thanks for asking.

[Rusty]

November Survivors ~ Week 3 and 1/2

Star,

What is CNS? I'm sorry if I sound ignorant. I know your son is glad to have you and your husband for support. Your son survived the bullying but I know it must have had long-term effects. The story of young gay men committing suicides because of bullying happen all over this country, it seems. How wonderful that he's in school and has a close group of friends. I think of you often because my closest friends have only 1 son, and he has Tourette's and a Social Avoidance Disorder. His life is very lonely and isolated. Because of this avoidance disorder, he can't make eye contact with people so it's so hard to make friends. My friends wish he could have a relationship in the worst way. My friend's son has been in therapy for years, and drugged up, oh yes. I don't think the therapy has helped at all....the therapist has taught him no coping skills and all the meds make him so sleepy...he sleeps all day and is up all night.

I always enjoy reading your thoughtful posts, Star. I think your son got his compassion from you.

[Lavande]

November Survivors ~ Week 3 and 1/2

Good morning friends!

Am I the last to arrive again, it's only 7:30 :H

Hi Rusty, glad you are getting stronger!
CNS = central nervous system. Drugs target receptors there (including AL) & make us less responsive & just stupid
That's why I never let anyone medicate my son when his ADHD was driving everyone up the wall. Kids can't learn impulse control when they are being sedated.

Star, good to hear you son is doing well. My daughter had a series of shitty roomates too & she always ended up living back at home. Her current roomate has been pretty good these past 6 years

Chill, that's so sad about your friend. Friends & family can do hospice care ~ sounds like they already are doing it pretty well. Her family just needs to get appropriate pain medication scripts from her doc. No one should be made to suffer at the end of life.

Greetings Rustop. There are all sorts of places for boarding horses around here. I have no real idea what they cost but I'm sure they are not cheap. Hope your pony settles in nicely!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPMOM!!!!
Sounds like you have a good weekend planned, hope you enjoy every minute!

Have we lost LBH this week? Jolie??

OK, off to busy myself with something or the other. The cold front that blew in overnight has really kicked up the wind....BRRR!
Have a great AF day!

Lav

[Stargazerlily]

November Survivors ~ Week 3 and 1/2

Hey, Rusty,
CNS is central nervous system. Going through trauma, the fight or flight part is activated when something not so big happens. Hypervigilant, they call it, a symptom of PTSD. Ongoing trauma affects you central nervous system forever...therapy can help, but those meds can make things worse. Your friend's son sounds like he has his days and nights mixed up, and no relationships, how difficult for all involved. He must not work, which is not good as too much time on yours hands exacerbates symptoms. I want my son to hang onto his job, it has been so good for him.

[ladybirdheart]

November Survivors ~ Week 3 and 1/2

Happy Belated Thanksgiving! I found myself, like Dill, in my quiet mind being thankful for each of you. What a deeply sad goodbye you are having with your friend, Chill. That kind of suffering is so unnecessary and so common. You have a powerful spirit, I do imagine she can feel it. I always love hearing about your son, Star, he is such an interesting and unusual person. It will take me a while to catch up with everybody. I have been zipping all over with guests and finishing cleaning out the apartment of Lord Bird Heart's recently deceased, famously mean elderly aunt. I really think her poor scary brain didn't have the wiring to make empathy possible. Lord Bird Heart and I had quite the outing on Thanksgiving morning with two of his brothers, sneaking her bag of ashes in a backpack through the woods to be surreptitiously released in legally forbidden but harmless, beautiful, and tender destination. As of an hour or so ago her apartment is now pristine and the key returned. So long old gal. Happy Birthday Pap. More tomorrow. Love, Ladybird.

[papmom3]

November Survivors ~ Week 3 and 1/2

good evening dear friends and thank you all for the wonderful birthday wishes!! I did have a nice day. The secretary of our breed club won Best of Breed today and was so excited! She beat out the handler who won Westminster in 1999 with Kirby the Papillon!! Also got to see some good agility, attended a spirited luncheon meeting of my breed club and shopped. Unfortunately the vendors were not that great this year so I ended up not spending a cent. Bring on Cyber Monday!!

Chill-I am so so sorry to hear about your friend! I echo Star and her suggestion you write a letter letting her know how much you love her and wish her peace as she travels home. I do hope she can at least get some pain meds to help her make the journey in comfort.

Star-It does sound like your son is in a good place right now even tho it's been hard on you and hubby. Hopefully another living situation more suited to him will come along soon.

Rustop-I'm sorry you have to find new less expensive boarding for the pony. It really sucks when we have to scale back on the care we give our 4 footed friends. I know its really hurt me to not be able to keep up with agility, to have to buy cheaper food and skip some vet visits. I feel like I am letting them all down. But maybe this new stable will turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Fingers crossed.

Rusty-how is the decorating going?

Lav-its freaking cold here too! Bitter in fact. Did you end up having a quiet day to yourself?

LBH-Thanks for checking in. Must have been a hard day cleaning out the Aunt's apartment and finding the perfect place to lay her to rest so to speak. You and Lord Bird Heart are good souls. You will be rewarded.

I can't beleive it's 10 o'clock! I swear I just looked at the time and it was only 9! time to hit the hay. My minivaca is over starting tomorrow.

:l:h

[Lavande]

November Survivors ~ Week 3 and 1/2

Good morning kids,

Cold & sunless here this morning, oh well. I hear the forecast is calling for a little snow on Tuesday.
I'm not going to start fretting, I can't do anything about it anyway.

I did have a kidless day yesterday but was busy with work, chores. YB wandered in for dinner, lit a fire in the fireplace & left. He's definitely a strange one.
Heading out this afternoon for a combo birthday party for my son & grandson. I cooked up a big pot of sausage & meatballs yesterday because I know there will be some folks looking for dinner here.

Don't have any Christmas decorations out yet ~ I always wait until after the November birthdays. How did you do with yours Rusty?

LBH, even though I throw away a lot of stuff I still pity the person who has to clean out my stuff. That job freaked me out when I did my parents house

Papmom, glad to hear you enjoyed your birthday
Stay warm now & keep an eye open for the snow I hear that's on the way

Have a wonderful AF Sunday everyone!
Lav

[Stargazerlily]

November Survivors ~ Week 3 and 1/2

Good morning to all...

Still flying high after Notre Dame won last night. It was such an exciting game!! I put up my Christmas decorations and enjoyed a cozy night of lights, fireplace, and football. I don't mind watching a team I care about.

Lav, I made a recipe from Fatfree Vegan, Pumpkin and Black Bean Cassarole, and it was really good. I love that website. It called for nutritional yeast, so I used some for the first time,and it was really tasty. Also, squash I had instead of pumpkin. Kept me busy and it was fun. Yes, we are supposed to continue this colder weather too. We had a little snow yesterday, but it did not stick. Tis the season for it.

LBH, what an experience you've had. It is interesting to go through someone's life through their possessions...I have been able to do that with a great Aunt, and then my parents' house this summer. It's an adventure. Also, I was reflecting on how sad it is that the memories she leaves are ones of crabbiness and irritability. I want to be remembered for other things...

Chill, I have been thinking alot about my beloved relatives who have passed on, as I always have memories of the holidays. I just don't know why people have to suffer in reference to your friend. It is so hard to know what to do, and wanting to be there and not being able to is difficult. Calling and writing is a beautiful way to show you care. Hope you are not alone in your new city, but have some friends or at least acquaintances for some companionship. Did you ever receive the exercise equipment? I would love to hear. I want to go for a walk today, but the high is only 45 degrees, that I think is 13 Celcius or something like that. Brrrrrr.

No special plans for today, but feel healthy and positive. So, focus on all you have to be grateful for and have a great day.

[dill]

November Survivors ~ Week 3 and 1/2

Happy belated Birthday, Pmom. Your day sounded like a perfect one for you.
Chill I join everyone in sympathy for you, your feelings of powerlessness and for your friend and what she is facing and enduring.
LBH, you and I live some interesting parallels. I found myself doing something quite similar when my eldest brother died. He wanted to be scattered in the Cuyahoga River Valley, so off we went, traipsing surreptitiously through the wood. Unfortunately there was a special bicycle event going on at the same time with security cops and crowds?.
Star,so glad things are leveling out for you and your son and that you are laughing together. What a gift that is!
Rusty, so good to hear from you always!
Hi Lav, et al.
Back to the grind for me tomorrow. YUCK!!!