November Survivors ~ Week 4

[Stargazerlily]

Good morning to all in this last week of November.

Mondays can be difficult days, but they are always better AF. It is such a gift to sleep well, wake up hopeful and feeling healthy.

I was thinking about how easy it is too fool yourself when drinking. To use it as a crutch for worry, depression, inability to sleep, lousy relationships, hating your job, not being employed, behind on bills, and a bunch of other things.

The reality was that the booze caused or made worse the worry, depression, insomnia, relationship problems, work issues, no employment, health issues. Numbing out does not help, it just continues the cycle and the progression. I remember the inability to get a good nights sleep, caffeine to get going and the whole cycle of never feeling right. It is such a relief to focus on health and life.

We all have life issues to deal with, the good and the bad. Let's use this week to encourage others and use our wisdom and strength to make this week amazing. I want to be in a spirit of gratitude upon first awakening and take breaks throughout the day to be in the moment and identify specific things to be thankful for. I did it yesterday and had a great day.

Wondered how everyone is doing, so if you get a chance, post. To all, have a great day.

[Lavande]

November Survivors ~ Week 4

Good day Star & everyone,

I am grateful that the mammogram is over with this morning, that's for sure
I followed that up with a trip to Curves & now I'm back home in my shop getting some work done. I will be babysitting for a few hours this afternoon - never a dull moment.

Attempting to drink away my problems was a stupid decision but one that I made consciously, believe it or not. I was so damn depressed i didn't really care about the consequences
My grandson's arrival, 4 years ago this week is what helped me look for a real solution. Attempts to quit before then were half-hearted. I am truly grateful for my grandkids. My husband may still be a sad sack but I'm doing just fine

Wishing everyone an AF Monday that's full of gratitude!
Lav

[Rusty]

November Survivors ~ Week 4

Good Monday Afternoon Everyone,

I'm rushing to get a few things done before I catch a flight to Kansas City but just wanted to stop in and say hello.

Lav-glad the mammo is over and everything is ok.

Star-I forgot to tell you that my mom and I were glued to the ND game on Saturday. My dad played football for ND in the 1940s so we never miss a game. My mom was furious, however, that Kyle Brindza was responsible for scoring most of the points ND had on Saturday, and yet he got NO media attention (TV or newspaper) whatsoever! The focus was on Manti Teo because ND wants him to get the Heisman Trophy.
Regarding AL, I was a social drinker for a number of years, and my drinking didn't start to escalate until I was in my mid-forties. Using AL as a reward at the end of the day (this is the way my parents looked at it) became a crutch to avoid what I thought would be, unpleasant tasks or job responsibilities, in addition to drowning out the sorrow of losing a few relatives so close together. I am truly grateful to be AF, and focus on the moment, as opposed to anticipating a negative outcome that may never happen. I must never underestimate the depressant power of AL. I know I don't have another recovery in me. My slide to the bottom was so fast, so slick, so dangerous that I didn't even know it was happening. NEVER AGAIN. AF forever for me. My reason for staying AF is that I want my mom, siblings, nieces, and nephews to always know that I am here for them, and they can count on me if they need me....at a moment's notice. I never want them to avoid calling me if they need me because they think, "Geez, I wonder if Aunt Rusty's been drinking."

LBH-I smiled when you described surreptitiously taking Lord BH's aunt's ashes and sprinkling them in forbidden territory. May she rest in peace.

Chill-how are you holding up? Have you talked to your ill friend? I said a prayer for you this weekend that the universe will find a way to get you to Portugal to see your friend before her condition deteriorates. We take hospice care for granted in the US, and I had no idea that there isn't hospice in Portugal.

The outside of the condo is decorated....both deck railings, and all the inside decs are up except the two Christmas trees. That will be my task this weekend.

Pap-you asked if I would post pics....ummm.....maybe privately, but not for public viewing.:H

Ok, everyone, I'm off to work out and then to the airport. I plan on enjoying this AF, unhung, Monday.

[Stargazerlily]

November Survivors ~ Week 4

Good morning to all...

Glad to be up on this Tuesday, working later today. Fresh cup of coffee and that first cup is magic.

Lav, glad the mammogram is over, good you are taking care of yourself. I think it is amazing that your grandchildren were your focus to be AF. You are such a huge part of their life in such a positive way. What a gift.

Rusty, it is scary when the descent into heavy drinking happens. Feeling like a sick fool over and over again drains your spirit and your body. Healing takes time and Rusty, you are right, do any of us have another recovery in us. Your decorations sound great, I love my tree and all the trimmings. At this dark time of year, the beautiful lights glow.

To all, have a great day.

[Lavande]

November Survivors ~ Week 4

Good morning kids!

My DIL is now an hour late dropping off the kids. The people at her internship job must be very understanding.....I never could have gotten away with that in my profession.
Rain here this morning instead of the snow that was predicted, that's OK with me

I tell myself, quite humbly each & everyday that this is it - I definitely do not have any more quits in me.

OK, they're here. Have a great AF Tuesday everyone!
Lav

[Chillgirl]

November Survivors ~ Week 4

Hi Guys

I have been frantically trying to arrange doggy care here for Elle so I can fly over to Portugal for a few days. The down side of being in a new County where you know no one is that at times like this you realize how alone you are :upset: Anyway I have a House Sitter coming this afternoon to meet Elle and if I feel comfortable with her I intend to get a flight out on Sunday. the last week has been just so so stressful and frustrating but AL has never even entered my mind.

Its good to hear the reminders from you guys of where we once were, its strange, my life is far more challenging now than it ever was but I would never swap places with the old me in a million years.

[cyntree]

November Survivors ~ Week 4

Hi everybody - just back from a snowy airport run to get my Mom off and on her way home. Had 2 elderly house guests all of last week, and now I'm sitting with my tea trying to remember who I was back before the storm and a trip away and getting ready for a holiday.

I'll read back and catch up with everyone - Chill, good luck with dog care, that's always so hard when you're in a new place. Star, Lav and Rusty, thanks for the reminder 'from whence we've come'.

More soon. As always, coming here is like coming home for me - thanks to you all -

[cyntree]

November Survivors ~ Week 4

Me again - what a thanksgiving feast it has been reading all that has gone on in the last weeks.

Chill, I'm so so sorry for your friend; and I agree with whomever wrote that she can certainly feel your great heart and spirit even without your physical presence there. Best of luck getting over to Portugal.

PMom - happy belated! And wishing you a year of happy unexpected occurances.

To everyone - what a remarkable name for the month; Survivors. Everyone here has their story, certainly, and in addition to all that we've shared, I was grateful for the writing you shared, Kas and LBH. Last night, Mom, HB and I watched the documentary 'Buck' (about one of the models for 'The Horsewhisperer'). Buck had a horrific childhood, but has transfered all his experiences into a deep communication with humans regarding their relationship with horses. Now admittedly, I'm crazy about horses, but in this documentary what impressed me most was Buck's quiet strength - and the overcoming of his personal shyness to get his message out - that was so heartening and touching.

I've had a bit of disconnected/sadness/mystery feeling for the past weeks...but tonight it has been wonderful to come here and read about real life, and the beautiful mysteries we've all endured. Thank you.

Sending big love to all -

[Lavande]

November Survivors ~ Week 4

Ah..........
The house is quiet once again

cyn, boy I was wondering about you!
Sounds like you've had some busy days yourself, glad all is well with you.

Good night wishes to one & all.
Lav

[rustop59]

November Survivors ~ Week 4

Good morning everyone

Cyn lovely to see you back again. This thread does feel like home. Things are crazy here, lots going on. Girls busy, busy with school and college. Got the pony settled in new stable and he seems happy. Plan to have all my Christmas shopping done and dusted by the weekend. Also in the middle of organizing surprise 50th for a friend on Saturday night.

Chill, I hope you manage to get to Portugal. I am sure Elle will be ok but they are a responsibility.

Everyone else big hello. As always I enjoy reading your wonderful posts even if I don't get time to post myself.

Rustop

[Lavande]

November Survivors ~ Week 4

Good morning Rustop & everyone!

Just flying by to wish everyone a Happy AF Hump day. I have much work to do today & need to focus on getting some cyber shopping done at the same time :H

I hope everyone is happy & healthy today!
Lav

[Stargazerlily]

November Survivors ~ Week 4

Good morning to all...

Lav, it is nice to have quiet after all the activity. Contrast is a joy in life. Woke up to some really cold weather...brrrr.

Chill, good decision to visit your friend in Portugal...hope things go smoothly. It is really hard when you are in a new place to find resources you trust. You will do a great job, you always do. So great you are AF and able to be there for your friend, a great gift.

Cyn, lovely to hear from you, how are you doing on your journey. Lots going on, keep posting, you are so valued.

Rustop, lovely to be so busy, you sound in a good place.

Just had a lovely conversation with my daughter about values, how she grew up, and what is important to her. I feel like crying. She is a beautiful person and is part of me. It is such a gift to see your kids grow up and have integrity and make good choices, despite the challenges in life. I want to share a great mindfulness practice from Mindfulhub.com. It is wanting what you have and at this time of year when we are told by the media, buy, want, more, it is a great way to appreciate all you have in your life.


This mindfulness practice is about increasing your sense of comfort, ease, and freedom, right here, right now
How do we go about the business of wanting what we have? Take ten or twenty minutes over the next few days to try this mindfulness exercise.
1. Start by taking five deep breaths, making sure you exhale is slightly longer than your inhale.
2. Clear your mind of thoughts of past or future. Turn your attention to the quality of light or color in the space you are in.
3. Stand up now, wherever you are – this can be your office, your small apartment, or your grand house. Slowly take a walk around your space, noticing right foot, then left foot hitting the floor, get grounded. noticing the things that please you. This can be a vase on a bookshelf, a blanket on a bed, your cat – anything that makes you feel comforted, at peace, whole.
4. You can do this in a car or the subway, too, noticing some aspect of your commute that is giving you comfort.
5. Continue walking (or watching) slowly and mindfully around your space appreciating the things you have that bring you peace.

I love this and just wanted to share someone else's wisdom. Would love some feedback.

[Lavande]

November Survivors ~ Week 4

Starr,
that's great
I've been practicing some sort of mindfulness meditation everyday since I arrived here at MWO. Focusing on your breathing is cool too. Going out to sit on my deck for a few minutes here & there to listen to the birds & the leaves rustling in the wind. I go out & stand by my chickens & just listen to tem....they always make me smile! I have an awesome CD that has you clearing your chakras while inhaling & exhaling certain colors - cool

I am working, working, working today but happy to be able to jump on here while while machines are running

[Chillgirl]

November Survivors ~ Week 4

Good Morning everyone

Star - I liked your mindfulness routine, even just stopping to breath while I read it made me realize how shallow my breathing has been of late. As soon as stress creeps in our bodies tense up and we forget o breath just when we need it the most.

Cyn - so good to have you back :l Are you now home for the holidays?

Well I found the most wonderful Girl Friday who is coming to house sit and take care of Elle. She exercises horses for a living and dog walks in between. I leave on Sunday until Wednesday. This is all so hard doing alone and it's going to be amazing stepping off the plane and into the arms of so many dear friends.

I think Rusty you said about learning the language and going back to live there. Sadly that's not an option. I don't know if you hear much about the Eurozone over there but Portugal is just behind Greece In being bankrupt as a Country. I don't know how it's ever going to recover and properties are now worthless over there. The area I lived relied on tourism which has suffered so badly as the British are now looking for cheaper options like Turkey where they can play golf and get sun for a fraction of the price. Sadly my beautiful Country is on its knees and the unemployment is horrendous. If I hadn't lost my home I could have got a small job just to survive but it would be impossible to earn enough to pay for rent as well.

It makes me so sad talking about it and I know it's going to be such a hard few days on so many levels. Thanks be to God I'm doing it AF!

[Stargazerlily]

November Survivors ~ Week 4

Good morning to all...

Up early today as I go to a conference that starts around 7:00 a.m. It will be a nice change of pace, and hopefully I'll see old friends.

Lav, so you practice mindfulness too, I am not surprised. I like the chakra cleansing CD, I had borrowed one from the library before and it helped me to come to a really relaxed peaceful state. Keep whipping out those projects, this has to be your busy season with Christmas!

Chill, Portugal sounds like it is in a mess...good thing you left when you did but how sad...great that you met a new interesting housesitter. Your trip will be tough, but good to see other old friends. I agree that AF it is possible, but drinking, everything would be a mess. Glad you liked the mindfulness practice, I did too. Sometimes I get so caught up in life I forget to appreciate what I already have in my life, which is alot. Did you exercise equipment ever arrive? I wish I had room for some in my house!

Well, off to make breakfast. Hope we get some posters today, it's been a quiet week. Hello to all.