Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

[retteacher]

Dear AAers, et al:

You all probably know this, but et al means and others. I hope that non-AAers who read this will jump in w/any experience, strength, hope, &/or questions. I'm not one of those purists who think that AA is the ONLY way to recover from alcoholism. I'm aware of a number of people who got "sick & tired of being sick & tired" & just stopped...or found another way to stop. That said: I must admit that this morning's meeting was full of emotion.

This time of the year, between Thanksgiving & Christmas, is very fraught w/feelings, memories, losses, etc. That came out in this morning's sharings. It's extra important for me to stay focussed on my physical & emotional sobriety. So, I'll keep up my meeting schedule which I'm starting to get used to. It isn't easy to go to meetings every day, but I know that my emotional, physical, & spiritual life depends on it.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[Solitaire]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

Hi Mary!

Monday evening for me, just got back from a meeting. Every 4th Monday, Al-Anon joins us, and tonight the topic was relapse. It was incredible to hear from the non-drinker what our relapse does to them! How, we stuff up, get AA support, get back into the program, and they are left hopeless once again... How hard it is for them to focus on their own issues, where before they felt obliged to protect, manage and care for the alcoholic! They talk about the 3 C's? Cause, Cure and Control I think... Enlightning.

All good here in sunny South Africa, one day at a time!

Hope, Openness, Willingness

Sol xxx

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

Sol: My husb of 40 years is an Alanon member. When I relapsed a few months ago, he was again shocked & bewildered. Non-alcoholics do not understand that this is a disease & not a choice we are making. Intellectually, he understands the whole "cunning, baffling, & powerful" aspect of alcholism. But, he just doesn't quite get that even people w/years & years of sobriety would relapse. He's a mod/light drinker & would give it up in a heartbeat if he had to. Mary

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

some say relapse is part of recovery mary...
i am feeling a bit jealous of your emotional meeting. it seems sort of dry and always the same thing is being said sometimes and i want to dig in and get really real. maybe i should get a sponsor...maybe my restlessness is a sign. i would also like to start a women's only meeting. i don't know.

i'm glad you had that experience...did you get support or give support after the emotional stuff? sometimes i feel like people will share things that must be so hard to say or they are crying and then the chairperson just sort of calls on the next person...seems like we should go hug them or ask questions so they know they have support...a woman last friday shared that she has four different spots of cancer and the meeting just went on like she said she got new shoes...i don't know. i guess with every path, there is questioning and doubt. that is why i am exploring buddhism and the 12 steps...since this is a lifelong embarkment, i want to do everything i can to be sober forever...not just sober, but content, and full of love and compassion for other's in our boat.

anyway, we joined a gym (another lifelong change for the better), and i have been working out for and hour and a half everyday and it feels so damn good. i didn;t realize how strong i still am at 41, and after all the abuse i've put my body through. i am thankful for this vessel and it's forgiveness for my disrespect for all those years.

peace!

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

hope we hear from dg soon...

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

BettG: Yes, I know what you're saying about people saying hard things & the meeting just goes on. Maybe that's where making personal connections w/people in program is important. When we have people that will listen to us about the difficult things, we are much less likely to drink.

Restless feeling: When I get that feeling, I know I'm vulnerable to all sorts of bad happenings: drinking, negative thinking, resentment, other addictive behavior. I try to watch out for that.

Sponsor: This is important to me. Even though my sponsor has a host of medical probs, including chemotherapy for cancer, I know she has experience & will tell me what I need to do to go forward.

For me, there is an ebb & flow to meetings. I have to work through that. If I feel dissatisfied, bored, restless, etc., I know there is something I have to fix within myself.

I too joined a gym w/my husb. We go separately, but it's such a great touchstone during the day. When I walk out of there, I feel like a can do anything or nothing...whatever the case may be. I don't work out 1.5 hours, but I am getting stronger. I've seen my poundage of weights I use increase many-fold since I first started working out a few months ago.

Mary

[JingleJo]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

Hi all

I went to my first AA meeting exactly one week ago and I'm going to another one tonight in the same place.

Found last week's meeting really helpful, especially the warm welcome I received and all the identifications I made with the lady sharing and the subsequent comments from others at the meeting. Although, I did find the experience quite overwhelming with it being my first meeting and me being the only newbie - everyone seemed to be fussing over me and I was kind of centre of attention lol. Had to take some time to absorb and reflect, hence why this is me just going back tonight.

Not sure if AA is going to be a longer term plan for me, but I'm willing to continue to give it more of a try before deciding.

Feeling a bit nervous again about going tonight and don't think I'm ready yet to say anything after the share and this is the bit that's making me nervous. Even tho I know I don't have to say anything, it's still freaking me out a bit. I'm scared that the longer I leave it, the harder it will be to speak up.

But, I'm not gonna let that feeling put me off. Will go and see how I get on. I'm sure after time it'll feel easier.

Today is day 10 AF for me - the longest I can remember ever abstaining for since I was about 16 (36 now).

xxx

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

hi jingle! i was petrified my first few meetings and my face got really red whenever i spoke, but it gets easier with time (i only have 52 days, but it is easier now). as with all things, with practice it gets easier. remember everyone there has been exactly where you are, and most alcoholics are really forgiving and non-judgemental...thank goodness!!

hope it goes well for you tonight, just let it rip! and congrats on the 10 days!

[JingleJo]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

Thanks BettyGirl! I'll see how I feel tonight when it comes to that bit. I might just pass this time again and just listen then go for it my 3rd meeting Will let you know how I get on

xx

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

JJ: I too was a nervous wreck going into meetings in the beginning. Even now after 3+ years, I still get a flutter of nervousness when it comes to sharing. I'm not terribly outgoing & have to think about what I'm going to say before I say it. AA has been the ONLY way I could stay sober. I don't know where I'd be today if I hadn't had the courage to try it. Good luck. Mary

PS: Pushing through fears is one way to grow spiritually. So, feel the fear & do it anyway.

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

thanks mary...i think a sponsor would be a good sounding board for me...i'm like you in that i'm not really outgoing as far as having a lot of relationships in my life outside of long term friends and my family, they are enough. but to have someone i can ask questions about certain aspects of aa that i have kind of fumbled my way through, would be nice. i feel am on the 4th step, and really have no idea how to start. we talked about the 9th step in the 12x12 book today, and i have already done that! i have told everyone who i am close to about what my drinking did to harm them, and especially mu husband and kid. i have been dreadfully honest with my husband (unless it would bring him harm, of course) and my kid knows everything within reason, that a 14 year old can handle. i have talked to my sister, dad, and friends (who all didn't know the extent of my drinking, so i apologized for being deceptive). the harm i've done is out there...i guess the 4th step is about resentments and our finding our place in those...i just don't feel resentful towards anyone but my drinking self...i guess i need to soul search more...sorry, just babbled!!!
have a good one all!!!
peace

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

BettyG: There's no way I could've gotten through the 4th step wo/a sponsor. I'm planning on doing another 4th around the relapse I had. Again, I'll do that w/my sponsor to guide me. M

[JingleJo]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

Well, my 2nd meeting went ok and didn't feel as scary as last week.

I managed to introduce myself and give some feedback which I was quite proud of. But, when I said it was only my 2nd meeting, the first being 1 week ago, the guy who had shared was like "well, maybe if you come back next week you will be able to tell us that you went to more meetings in between times" which raised a wee laugh in the room and then a few others made a point of advising me to go to more meetings too during their feedback. As much as I know more meetings may well help, I found it a bit annoying tbh - it had been such a big thing for me to psych myself up to go to the 2nd meeting, nevermind have the guts to speak at it and then I felt like I was being told I could have done better by going to more meetings lol.

Maybe I'm just being over-sensitive as I know they meant well :-)

[bettygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

people ALWAYS say things that annoy me, jingle! i just do the old aa cliche' and "take what i need and leave the rest". it's a good thing to remember that alcoholics are kind of f-ed up people (yes, including us!), some more that others, and not everyone is going to have the best delivery for their advice. i don't think they meant any harm, but i know what you mean! maybe we could use some of this thread as a venting place for what gets to us in meetings...it's also always a good idea to look at why something irritates us and what part we are playing in that feeling. sometimes it's all about how we are hearing something.
anyway...what do i know!

it's not perfect, but it is working better than anything else i've tried to quit drinking! hang in there and try other meetings. i like to go to a few different ones so i get a lot of different perspectives. there are the more well-to-do meetings, the downtown meetings, the alano clubs and serenity hall mettings, each with their own vibe.

peace!

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

Mary, thanks for all you do here.
I'm in Brazil this week and unable to make any meetings, so I'm happy you guys are here today.
Has anyone seen the movie "Flight"? I took my wife and it was funny how she was baffled by an alcoholic's behavior. Of course I could relate to the character.

Speaking of the program, of me it was important to work the steps with a sponsor. I also think the steps are a continuous process. For me that is.