Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

[gabby]

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Rocky,
Congrats on 45 days!

Boy Oh Boy do I ever remember 45 days. (some of you old timers probably remember me at this time)

See....at first I was only gonna do 30 days abs and then mods. But for some reason I kept on going at the 30 day mark. Then when I got to 45 days I thought, "oh shit!!!! Now what am I gonna do. I have these damm 45 days under my belt and didnt know what I was gonna do with em?" I remember kinda feelin pissed off and like I didnt want the 45 days. I didnt want the accomplishment and wanted to drink....missed my old friend.....wanted a reunion but couldnt toss the 45 days aside. I felt like I loved my situation yet hated it. I was proud of myself yet mad at myself for puttin me there. It was funny yet....not that funny. What was I to do? For the first time I really realized that I WAS AN ALCOHOLIC. :upset: I was depressed about my 45 days instead of happy.

Anyway....I was irritable, grumpy, unhappy and unhappy looking and acting as you said you are. I was depressed, moapy, felt sorry for myself....and most of all I wanted to drink. BUT.....I didnt. And I didnt and I didnt and I didnt. And then......I didnt some more!

And now look where I am!!!!

I got these damm 9 months under my belt so now what am I gonna do???

Na....just kiddin..


I'M HAPPY


Even tho my life is full of shit and crap and attorney fee's I am still
HAPPY


cuz I am not drunk, snockered or even tipsy. I am dealin with the shit and crap! And ya know what?
I feel like I am actually gettin somewhere!
As weird as that is.



So Rock...just know that this is part of the many faces of recovery that you need to see that get ya to where you are goin to. And dont worry....cuz happy is comin after the grumpies and all that other stuff.
Your doin good weather you know it or not, just hang in there. :goodjob:

[Rocky]

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

thanks everyone for the good advise...

Gabby, you are absolutely right... I started out to just want to cut down...and at 40+ days I said exactly what you said...now what should I do? Do I want to drink some? or keep going?....That is the Question.... To be continued...

[Java]

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

I am sooooooo Proud of you Rocky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Arial]

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Hi Rocky,

Great post as it raises some really good issues and has generated some fabulous responses - Many congratulations on 45 days - that's brilliant - so pull up a chair at the computer, and join us - we enjoy your sober company! You're the one there that's faced yourself, made a decision and had the guts, courage and determination to take back control of your life - maybe other people in your household could do with following your lead?!

Anyway, I agree with what everyone else has said, and if you do decide to change to mods after a while, do it on your own terms - NOT because other people are putting pressure or misunderstanding what you've achieved so far - I did that this weekend and felt disappointed in myself as it wasn't what I wanted - I gave into expectation and comments like 'one won't hurt', 'aww go on', 'just a little one', 'how long are you going to keep it up anyway?' I actually drank to make them feel more comfortable - how sad is that? The only good thing is that it's now doubled my determination not to let it happen again!

Take care, Rocky - in the not-so-immortal words from Brigit Jones' Diary: ' we love you just as you are'!

[satori]

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Rocky,

I can definitely relate - I am a fairly quiet sort of guy when sober - certainly not the life and soul of the party - but I was much more sociable, outgoing, funny etc when drunk.
Only problem is, the price I was paying for "lightening up" was WAY too high.

I would rather be a bit more reserved and sober, healthy, clear headed and guilt free than a lively, witty drunk headed further down the pan every day!

Be proud of your 45 days - that is some achievement my friend.
Just remember - you are doing this for YOU primarily - try not to let the rest of the world lead you off the path.
It is hard if you have to be around folks who are still drinking - but I am finding that as time goes on - it bothers me less and less.

Good luck - stay strong - you are worth it!

Satori

[tawnyfrog]

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Satori ... the calm voice of reason.

Thanks.

[Rocky]

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Thank you all for your thoughts and support....That is Priceless!!!

Know who you are and be who you are....not what others think you should be...

[Going Strong]

Irritable / grumpy / unhappy looking-acting

Stay Strong!

My hubby complains whenever I have been good that I am cranky! Maybe I am not sure cos sometimes I feel good and don't understand and then I work it out cos i am not drinking Hello!!!! Get a grip, they feel guilty cos what they are doing! nothing should make you feel you are the bad one for not drinking. Ignore them and move on. I am pretty sure that your wife will move on with you when she realises you are far dinkum! Much love!