af day Fri 7 Dec

[Determinator]

af day Fri 7 Dec

Nurdl, the feelings you are having are the 'grieving' stage of recovery and it's perfectly 100% normal I'm happy to say! you are mourning the loss of something that's been so near and dear to you for so long, (even if it's also been your nemesis).

try looking at it this way:

you really like cheese. but you've found that your declining health is due to the fact that you are allergic to it. simple! you just quit and do/eat/enjoy other things. we don't fret and pine that we can't have cheese. it's poison and we realize it. I know that's a simplification, but sometimes such a thing helps us to gain perspective and pull back to the bigger picture.

xxxxx to you and Sunflower. gosh, I've had my fair share of AL-induced panic attacks at work. they totally suck. I've had them while driving too. eeeeeek!

lets all have a better tomorrow! hot tea on me.

[porqoui]

af day Fri 7 Dec

TheSunFlower;1423603 wrote: But, I know I will need all you guys support for the next few weeks to stay that way.

And we'll be right here SF....anytime. :l

So glad you're just not sitting there beating yourself up...see you started a plan:

1) see therapist
2) attend meetings for support
3) post, post, post.....

...and Det's buying the tea :yay:

[TheSunFlower]

af day Fri 7 Dec

Thank you Porq and Det for the quick replies. I needed them.

Det....I have had panic attacks while driving too. Those totally suck....because you realize you are dangerous to everyone on the road. Thanks to that....I have learned every back road in the state I only have them on the freeway.....when everyone is going 80 miles per hour. And I am going 50. Its amazing that I have not been pulled over sober, because of this.

Porq...thank you for the support. I am beating myself up because I knew better. Yes, there is plan in place. I just have to get full comprehension on how this happened, why.....and why the F I choose wine. I knew full well this was the enemy. I think there is something behind that choice that I am just not recognizing.

Thanks guys....and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow....sober....not sure how much sleep I will manage though. At least I have good cable to watch all night!

[kuya]

af day Fri 7 Dec

Sun......uuuurrrrgggghhhh so sorry you had to go through this, but so many have to test the water again, it is what makes us human and progresses our species. We all think we are different and that the rules don't apply to us, even when it is painfully obvious they do.

I was drinking EIGHT TIMES the healthy limit for a woman and didn't think I had a problem! :H:H:H
FFS .....talk about denial.

So now you are decided on abstainance, welcome aboard :l