Reaching my dreams!!!!

[Guitarista]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

Hi Daisy!

Right alongside you friend. What a great signature you have. Do you stick up inspirational quotes, idea's, people, etc around the house, or your room?

Rock on. G-bloke.

[retteacher]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

Daisy:

It's wonderful that you're asking for help in staying sober. Yes, the holidays are difficult times, but you can do it. I too have been despirate, & I've heard & experienced that despiration is a good thing. My denial was crumbling when I was feeling despiration...I've actually heard it called: "the gift of despiration." I wasn't minimizing my drinking anymore. I realize that I'm only one drink away from a disgusting drunken experience.

I really don't think it's negative thinking to not trust myself. My own thinking is not very trust-worthy. I tend to get a false sense of confidence which leads to a drink. So, it might be good to be a little wary of your thinking processes.

Take care of yourself the best you can. Come here often, as we all want to help. I don't venture around the forum very much now, but I saw your post & wanted to comment. Are you a member of AA? If so, there is usually a real resurgence in attendance around the holidays, as they are difficult for everyone.

Mary

PS: I just reread this post. It's a little rambling. I hope it makes some sense.

[daisy45]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

Guitarista;1424868 wrote: Hi Daisy!

Right alongside you friend. What a great signature you have. Do you stick up inspirational quotes, idea's, people, etc around the house, or your room?

Rock on. G-bloke.

Hey Guitarista; good to hear from you. I do have a lot of inspirational books and quotes but not posted around the house, so that is my next project - thank you. I really searched hard to find a quote with meaning that might help myself and anyone else who reads it to see a way forward.

[daisy45]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

retteacher;1424871 wrote: Daisy:

I've heard & experienced that despiration is a good thing. My denial was crumbling when I was feeling despiration...I've actually heard it called: "the gift of despiration." I wasn't minimizing my drinking anymore. I realize that I'm only one drink away from a disgusting drunken experience.

I really don't think it's negative thinking to not trust myself. My own thinking is not very trust-worthy. I tend to get a false sense of confidence which leads to a drink. So, it might be good to be a little wary of your thinking processes.

Take care of yourself the best you can. Come here often, as we all want to help. I don't venture around the forum very much now, but I saw your post & wanted to comment. Are you a member of AA? If so, there is usually a real resurgence in attendance around the holidays, as they are difficult for everyone.

Mary

Mary, thank you so much for putting a different light on things. I really do appreciate it. The response I have had here today has really touched me......
I cannot see myself going to AA although I do follow your story and steal encouragement from what you learn in your meetings.....my sneaky way of gaining some of the benefits without actually going myself..........oooops!

[Kaslo]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

Hi Daisy, I read your posts when I first started up here, you were unfailingly kind to people. I hope you realize how much you have influenced and inspired many of us. Time to shine your light on you! You told someone to make a list of everything you HATE about drinking, I believe, or were part of the discussion. Its never to soon or too late to make that list out again. You can do it. Its because of you and people like you that I have managed 22 months straight. kas

[RunningCourage]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

Aha! Seemed to have missed your new thread Daisy. It was so nice to see you pop into the NN this evening. I think i can fairly safely say we have all missed you and thought about you this past wee while you have been away. And it is so good to have you back.

I think Cat and Kuya say it so well - that you are fighting this, dealing with, being positive and real with it is so, so much more important than whether you can quit once or have to quit a million times. Rather the latter than giving into the slavery of living with AL.

Look forward to reading your posts and seeing you about. :l

[Lavande]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

Daisy,
You will be amazed how your sense of self-worth blossoms when you kick AL out of your life!
Yes, I do trust myself once again & I am so incredibly grateful

Stick around & we'll be here to help you along!

Lav

[daisy45]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

Kas you don't know how much that means to me. Thank you so much!
You are doing just great! I have been here so long I need to go back and re-read, especially posts from people like you and so many of our long-termers. We all started in the same place and want to end up at the same destination; some have more detours.......me??? Mmmmm..........

[daisy45]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

I know Lav; I am always happier with myself when I am sober. Think I have been doing a lot of 'drowning my sorrows' lately. I know it doesn't help......things are always worse the next day.
I need to focus and keep the prize of sobriety in my sight.
RC, great to 'see' you. I couldn't have dreamt of a nicer welcome back than what I got today!

[ThreeDogNight]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

You sound good, Daisy! It's great to see all the support here, isn't it?
Big :l
TDN

[scottish lass]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

Daisy, just saw this as I am looking thru, so very happy to see you here....have been thinking of you a lot...:l:l

[FreeFly]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

Hey Daisy, it's good to see you back. From one start/stop to another, we can do this :l:l

[Tipplerette]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

Hey Daisy, you have encouraged me so often and I want to offer you the same. As you know it's day by day and moment by moment. We have to be so aware of the trickster that AL is.. I used to think it was easy and on my sixth or seventh day I would blink and find myself with a glass of wine in my hand and my self-promises in the toilet. Vigilance is the name of the game. Have a restful, serene Christmas season. Try sipping on the seasonal teas spiced with cinnamon, cloves and other delectable flavours. Tea has gotten me through many evenings in the past few months and it's refreshing too.

So glad you came back.

xoxo

[daisy45]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

Hi guys; I really appreciate you all.
A bit of a setback so not a great start but I figure if I stay here I will make it!
Went off to hospital for the results of my dads MRI. 2 weeks ago we found that the chemo had worked on 2 tumours and they had almost disappeared, however more were found.
Yesterday we found out that there are multiple small tumours and they are all cancerous, which means they were not responding to the chemo. Basically there is only 1 option left, radio-embolization, and we do not even know if the powers that be will even accept my dad yet. This would give him only a few more months. So reality hit home, we do not expect him to be here this time next year. He has cirrhosis in the highest grade, diabetes and tumours on both lobes.
As you can imagine, yesterday was the worst!!!
My poor dad wanted to have a drink. He hasn't drank since his diagnosis in June. So this setback I will easily forgive myself for......my family all got together and just tried to let it all sink in.
I know there are miracles - that is my next project!!!!!

[scottish lass]

Reaching my dreams!!!!

Daisy, I checked in to write a longer note to you than the first one I did and read this - so terribly sorry my friend - I am sure this is devastating news for both you and your family.
There really are no words that can be said, or that will help you - please reach out if there is anything I can do to help, you are in my thoughts and prayers, with lots of love!
:l:l:l