af day wed 12 Dec

[treetops]

Hi there - I wrote a long long message and got cut off. Damn.
Hope all is well esp for SL, Mick (gums) and Kuya (sugar).
I have to fly to India now.

[Determinator]

af day wed 12 Dec

Treetops im so jealous! Enjoy your adventure

[scottish lass]

af day wed 12 Dec

TT - enjoy India!
I am so proud, I have not drunk any of the wine that is in the house - well out of the house now, moved to the garage!
Almost thru witching hour - had a delicious supper (not Dets standard, but not too bad - lamb flank steaks, rosemary garlic tiny potatoes and fresh garden peas, with mint sauce of course, and butter!!). Feeling so good, but so aware if I had not checked in this morning at least one of the bottles of wine would have been gone by now - thank you all for the support - it is very much appreciated.
KY - have had some chocolate too - it helped, dark chocolate covered ginger - some goodness in there!
Mick, hope you are ok..
Good evening to all in my time zone and posting in tomorrow as I hope this feeling stays into tomorrow:H:H

[Determinator]

af day wed 12 Dec

Scottish Lass, I beg your pardon I completely approve of your meal! in fact i wish I was invited.

good job on the wine avoidance

[TheSunFlower]

af day wed 12 Dec

I read the posts from yesterday/today. I never really said what the consequences were from my first night of wine. Basically, I lost my feet....and slammed my face onto a concrete floor. Got a nice bruise and lump on the side of my face. I was having dizzy spells and attributed them to hitting my head/withdrawal....and the onslaught of stress at work. I am not not one to run to the doctor and just thought it would heal.

Most of the bruise is gone.....but I still have a nice lump on the cheek bone and temple. I basically can not stand up vertical for too long without feeling like I am going to pass out. By the time I make it to a chair.....I think it is more of a panic attack about what is going on.

Just getting to my car is difficult....nevermind getting to the restroom at work. And by the time I make it to a client's office.....I swear to God my legs are going to give out. But, once I am sitting I am ok....just as long as a panic attack is not ensuing.

So I do now have an appt with my doctor to check this out. Which means I miss the therapist. She was ok with that.....just e-mailed me some more things to work on.

I just need to get it checked out. I am now thinking that I did some sort of damage that keeps me from being vertical.....which ensues the panic attack.

Just an FYI.....work is going great. I am the leader of the pack in billing for 2013. But, it is alot of pressure. Not to mention the upcoming holidays.....I always feel like at this time of year...."its just too much".

But...in truth....sometimes I feel like things are 'going too good".....and that scares me. Its like you are planning the floor to fall out. Why can I not enjoy how good things are?

Thanks to everyone. I will keep you posted. And will try my hardest to give back....once this is over.

[scottish lass]

af day wed 12 Dec

ooops, I thought potatoes were a no no - seriously!! You are probably near me too - you would have been welcome! I am glad my dinner was a good one, it was very tasty. Are you still on road? See you are likely to get snow soon.
And Cat, are you near flooding from the King Tide?? Just saw Drakes Beach on the news and thought of you.

[kuya]

af day wed 12 Dec

Hi to all AFFERS near and far,

Lovely day here, warm and not humid

TT have fun and be good

SL .... I am so happy for your happy outlook, I would look at the therapy as icing on a cake that you have checked the recipe, bought the ingredients, mixed and put in the oven but now just need someone to guide you on cooking times.

Sun ....your situation is one I relate to, I am easier dealing with problems than with happiness. When things are going right I seem to just wait for them to go wrong. It is a habit of a lifetime and I sometimes wonder if I am good at dealing with problems or do I invite problems to deal with. I just don't know TBH.

So did you drink cos it was all too good to be true?............

mick ..... I hope your PC is up and running cos I have bad joke withdrawals

PPQ :l ....wassup? PAWS me reckons, bloody nuisance

Hi to all I have missed and will probably catch later

KY

[TheSunFlower]

af day wed 12 Dec

Kuya....I really can't answer that question. All I know is that even for me....my choice of wine was out of character.....in good times or bad.

What concerns me the most....is not so much that I drank.....I saw that coming. It was the choice of drink. Even while drinking off and on the last few years....I never touched wine or hard liquor. If it was the only thing available....I would not touch it. Then for me to reach out to it so freely....scares the shit out of me.

WFT....really?

[Determinator]

af day wed 12 Dec

Sun, please do see the doc about that head impact. just in case it's more serious than you may realize.

[kuya]

af day wed 12 Dec

DET ...... I become very unwell without red meat. As a vet I went through a period of my life trying to be vegetarian and felt so awful. Similarly I do not tolerate wheat.

[CanToo]

af day wed 12 Dec

Going to check out this PAWS....

[kuya]

af day wed 12 Dec

You ain't heard of PAWS, the curse of the newly abstainant ?

[LillyE]

af day wed 12 Dec

HEY KIDS I'M STILL ALIVE!!

Sorry I've been totally AWOL. I haven't even been logging in, so if anything major has happened - I've missed it. I hope nothing major has happened and all our little gang here are doing well? Mick, you must be speeding up on 6 months now come the start of Jan, no? Tell me yes?! OMG! (And boy does that thought make me wish i'd just stayed on the sober train because it's been a hell of a ride trying to get properly back on it ever since I first fell off.)

I'm ok. I would be lying if i said I hadn't been drinking at all - had a couple of short-lived falls but I actually haven't been drinking anywhere near as much or often as my absence might imply. Mostly I've been NOT drinking but struggling with a little ongoing ambivalence about being completely AF during the holiday season. At the moment I'm largely avoiding parties and such but … That said, after my last drunk, during which I clearly realised that I just do not enjoy drinking - let alone it's after effects - anymore, I just want to be done with it.

The main reason I haven't been here as been utter INSANE busyness with work, which continues, and will so especially next week up until I go away on next Friday, and also feeling like I needed a little more in the way of real life support or more in-depth alcohol reeducation but not quite knowing what that meant. I've been immersing myself in books again and sober blogs (lots of great stuff out there), stepped up the therapy a bit, and opened up to a real life friend who's been there a bit more. So, yeah, I'm doing ok. Not drinking. Not wanting to. Yet still a bit shaky and unconfident about making it through the holidays booze free.

So, yanno, mostly I just wanted to say HI. I MISSED YOU ALL. I'M NOT LYING IN A GUTTER!

Love & hugs,

Lilly x

[CanToo]

af day wed 12 Dec

:hallo: Lilly.

KY - my little brain has struggled to come out of the fog so haven't been taking in much past this thread. Found a great site and learned tons! I had signed up for a course and just couldn't do the work. Now I know why! Coincidentally the instructor called me on the weekend and she's given me an 2 month extension.

From day one This thread has brought up topics as I've needed them.

Karma and the kindness of strangers (well, some are stranger than others).

Got to run, Kid two wants a ride home.

CT

[kuya]

af day wed 12 Dec

HI LILLY

just got your pm, good to hear from you and that you are all good. Glad you are keeping the alcohol in check and hope you can find peace with it.:h