Morning all..well welcome to a wet and windy morning..pitch black here and blowing a gale..
Not long now then Christmas will be history!!!!..and then into the holiday season..
Right lets move on...tea, coffee and green tea on the go for anyone that is interested
Morning TDN...well is it an early start for you again today?Any more news on getting things sorted out?
Hiya kY...you ok? sound busy mate...yep ref the booze..different outlook this year eh? Save a few quid too!!!
Wow..this gets better...a Jock blonde in Australia....hmmm sure there is a joke in there somewhere!!!! how are you today?38 degrees on Christmas day?Sod being a snowman out there ...Quaffin??where are you getting all these words from?I am going into town today....hmm lets see how my goodwill does....or not!!
PPq...that is one dodgy looking Santa...aint sittin on his knee!!:H How are you? Is Feb 11 the grand finale day for it all?As for the cartoons... excellent thats what this is about isnt it..get as much as we can out of it
Mornin Catbuddy..aha the workin from home one eh?
You ok?...remember one day at a time..you are doing great!
SL....talk about few words..you ok?
Mornin Det...the jitters will pass...is there anything you can do in the meantime that will help you concentrate and take your mind off them?..In fact you could start writing your vegas plan now!!
Pauly...well at least the weather has done you a favour if you dont want to go out and smoke..well done you ...keep it up ..wow what a new image not drinking or smoking...
Hiya Cantoo...nice avatar that is...oops take it someone is in trouble..no modem no more!!
how are you doing?:l keep that chin up
Morning SF....how are you today? yep certainly wont do any harm to get a ct scan ..then you can see for yourself...also if it starts affecting your work then mebbe it should be sorted out sooner rather than later
YAH ..well done on day 3 of no smoking..takes time but you do eventually feel tons better so well done you...another angel in the making...no drink or ciggies :goodjob:
Morning Lav ...one giant cuppa for you this morn.....
Based around what you said, roughly did my own calcs on smoking and drinking...
Cigs....quit 10 years ago...smoked minimum 20 per day...average cost per pkt over the time 5.25
?19.173
Alcohol...170 days average of 6.30 per day
?1,071
So I spent 20 grand on what?????
Oh well...right everyone offski..have a great day ..
Stick together for together we will beat alcohol forever :l
Two horses were walking back to the paddock after a days training. One says to the other "I can't understand why we are so slow, we come from good stock, we have the best of food, great trainers, and yet we come last in every race."
There was a dog running along side them who overheard and said "I know what your problem is. I have seen you race and it looks to me as if you race off at the start really fast and use up all your energy and then you have nothing left. What you should do is pace yourselves and when all the other horses are tuckered, put in a spurt and you're sure to win. What do you think of that?".
The horses looked at one another and said "WOW, a talking dog!"
A man walked into a curio shop and began to browse. He was attracted to a brass rat on a shelf behind the counter. He asked the shopkeeper for a price, and was told to make an offer. Presently they agreed on a price, and the brass rat changed hands. The shopkeeper warned the customer as he took the money, "This sale is final. If you leave the shop with the brass rat, I won't take it back under any circumstances."
The customer agreed and left with the rat. As he walked home, he noticed that a live rat came scurrying out of an alley and began to follow him. Soon there were more, all following him and milling bout his feet. The man began to run, but the rats kept up, and more joined the procession. After a few minutes, thousands of rats were chasing after the man. The man ran frantically for the river, and threw the brass rat into the water. The live rats followed the brass rat, and soon all had drowned. The man returned to the curio shop, and on seeing him enter, the shopkeeper shouted, "I told you, the sale was final! You cannot return the brass rat!" The customer replied, "That's no problem. I just wondered if you had a brass lawyer in stock."
What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A doberman pinscher.
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her."
Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush.
A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable."
And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve."
And Adam said, " 'What is a 'caress'? So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.
Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "'Lord, that was even better than the kiss."
And the Lord said, "'You've done well Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve."
And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"' So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds.
And Adam said, "Lord, what is a 'headache'?"
This elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera, and announces, "My friends, I'd like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV & the other hand on the part of your body which ails you and I will heal you."
The old woman has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television, and her other hand on her stomach. Meanwhile, her husband approaches the television, placing one hand on top of the TV and his other hand on his groin.
With a frown his wife says, "Ernest, he's talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead."
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Remember half the people you know are below average.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever - so far so good.
Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Not long now then Christmas will be history!!!!..and then into the holiday season..
Right lets move on...tea, coffee and green tea on the go for anyone that is interested
Morning TDN...well is it an early start for you again today?Any more news on getting things sorted out?
Hiya kY...you ok? sound busy mate...yep ref the booze..different outlook this year eh? Save a few quid too!!!
Wow..this gets better...a Jock blonde in Australia....hmmm sure there is a joke in there somewhere!!!! how are you today?38 degrees on Christmas day?Sod being a snowman out there ...Quaffin??where are you getting all these words from?I am going into town today....hmm lets see how my goodwill does....or not!!
PPq...that is one dodgy looking Santa...aint sittin on his knee!!:H How are you? Is Feb 11 the grand finale day for it all?As for the cartoons... excellent thats what this is about isnt it..get as much as we can out of it
Mornin Catbuddy..aha the workin from home one eh?
You ok?...remember one day at a time..you are doing great!SL....talk about few words..you ok?
Mornin Det...the jitters will pass...is there anything you can do in the meantime that will help you concentrate and take your mind off them?..In fact you could start writing your vegas plan now!!
Pauly...well at least the weather has done you a favour if you dont want to go out and smoke..well done you ...keep it up ..wow what a new image not drinking or smoking...
Hiya Cantoo...nice avatar that is...oops take it someone is in trouble..no modem no more!!
how are you doing?:l keep that chin up
Morning SF....how are you today? yep certainly wont do any harm to get a ct scan ..then you can see for yourself...also if it starts affecting your work then mebbe it should be sorted out sooner rather than later
YAH ..well done on day 3 of no smoking..takes time but you do eventually feel tons better so well done you...another angel in the making...no drink or ciggies :goodjob:
Morning Lav ...one giant cuppa for you this morn.....
Based around what you said, roughly did my own calcs on smoking and drinking...
Cigs....quit 10 years ago...smoked minimum 20 per day...average cost per pkt over the time 5.25
?19.173
Alcohol...170 days average of 6.30 per day
?1,071
So I spent 20 grand on what?????
Oh well...right everyone offski..have a great day ..
Stick together for together we will beat alcohol forever :l
Two horses were walking back to the paddock after a days training. One says to the other "I can't understand why we are so slow, we come from good stock, we have the best of food, great trainers, and yet we come last in every race."
There was a dog running along side them who overheard and said "I know what your problem is. I have seen you race and it looks to me as if you race off at the start really fast and use up all your energy and then you have nothing left. What you should do is pace yourselves and when all the other horses are tuckered, put in a spurt and you're sure to win. What do you think of that?".
The horses looked at one another and said "WOW, a talking dog!"
A man walked into a curio shop and began to browse. He was attracted to a brass rat on a shelf behind the counter. He asked the shopkeeper for a price, and was told to make an offer. Presently they agreed on a price, and the brass rat changed hands. The shopkeeper warned the customer as he took the money, "This sale is final. If you leave the shop with the brass rat, I won't take it back under any circumstances."
The customer agreed and left with the rat. As he walked home, he noticed that a live rat came scurrying out of an alley and began to follow him. Soon there were more, all following him and milling bout his feet. The man began to run, but the rats kept up, and more joined the procession. After a few minutes, thousands of rats were chasing after the man. The man ran frantically for the river, and threw the brass rat into the water. The live rats followed the brass rat, and soon all had drowned. The man returned to the curio shop, and on seeing him enter, the shopkeeper shouted, "I told you, the sale was final! You cannot return the brass rat!" The customer replied, "That's no problem. I just wondered if you had a brass lawyer in stock."
What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A doberman pinscher.
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her."
Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush.
A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable."
And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve."
And Adam said, " 'What is a 'caress'? So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.
Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "'Lord, that was even better than the kiss."
And the Lord said, "'You've done well Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve."
And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"' So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds.
And Adam said, "Lord, what is a 'headache'?"
This elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera, and announces, "My friends, I'd like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV & the other hand on the part of your body which ails you and I will heal you."
The old woman has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television, and her other hand on her stomach. Meanwhile, her husband approaches the television, placing one hand on top of the TV and his other hand on his groin.
With a frown his wife says, "Ernest, he's talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead."
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Remember half the people you know are below average.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever - so far so good.
Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Epsom salt foot soak didn't even haelp much.
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