Morning all..woke up this morning thinking it was Saturday......also had a dream last night...twas a belter..I was in a pub with someone, they bought me a drink,Dont know what it
was but it was a clear liquid....remember looking at the glass and it was absolutely manky...so I sent it back...end result I still didnt have the drink!!!
Well how are we today?now that the end of the world is nigh?Saw on the news last night that "a spokesman for the Mayan people has said that the interpretation may have all been taken out of context......what is actually meant was that the Mayan calendar goes in cycles of 52..and this is the end of the cycle"
Anyway ..on with the last brew....Tea coffee anyone?
Good morning TDN...did you get the little tree made?nice thought that....what are you up to today?
hi KY.....you ok mate?sound really busy..tell me why have you got a sanity thermometer? thats about as much use as a chocolate fireguard !!!
No seriously ..you take care of yourself...totally agree with your reply to PPQ...she comes first in all of this
Mornin Nurdl down in New Joisey.....glad concert went well...looks like you are just bimbling about sightseeing!!Cracking saying that..off like a prom dress...oh yes and well done..day 108 now..not day 1 excellent
Morning Lav..yep heres your cuppa...extra large in case its endex tomorrow!!! how are you today? quiet day or not?Have you got the whole gang with you at Chrimbo? Have a great day
Morning PPq...yep I know that feeling about computers too...makes the throwing of said item through the window really enticing..How are you feeling now?Is the p store fully stocked up ?Liked the pic of the frogs..you can see why he picked her.. the obvious good looks just shine through!!:H:H..Keep smilin an heres a hug :l..look after numero uno first...
Mornin Rabsy..just spoken on anuvver thread...tell me why would you want a blank Czech ?
Good mornin YAH.....well you wouldnt believe it..but my annual fee for cofee and jokes is $4500...now isnt that strange??:H How are you today?Dont get stressed bout the tenancy...just get it on the market!!....anyway ,,you have a great day
Mornin Pauly...youre welcome...how are you? any plans for today?
Mornin SL..you ok..take it easy..the year end stuff wont last forever..come Jan 1 and its history!!!..get some you time in there too.
Cantoo..hiya..yep guess someone is in the deep shxx..You know went through exactly the same with daughter couple of years ago...was going to bin her midwifery off because she didnt like one of the tutors......fortunately it was resolved..was made quite clear if thats what you want to do crack on..but before you do take a long hard look in the back garden and tell me how many money trees you see growing!! Hope it works out for you too..the goat should be interesting!!!
Mornin Det...stick with it mate...get cooking..get that smell of garlic wafting about...always wondered why Maccy Ds tasted funny..now I know
Caysea..good morning ..hope you are well, nice to see you..got Chrimbo planned out?
Mornin SK....how are you doing today?..glad to see you on here
PPQ...have a good cry..nothing wrong with that...but the message to me seems pretty clear...New Zealand, America Canada UK.....and we are all saying the same...look after yourself first...after that is choice..........get them ps in yer pocket and smile on....just walk about today with a big grin on your face..that way people dont know whether you are happy, mad or got wind!!!:H Take it easy x
Right peeps offski now ...stick at it no matter how hard it is dont give into the al...few days time we will be able to say that we are in the second year of quit..have a great day
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
What is a tree's favorite drink? Root beer.
What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed? Sleep somewhere else.
What kind of cats like to go bowling? Alley cats.
What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay? Deviled eggs.
What kind of ties can't you wear? Railroad ties.
What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air? A dead centipede.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car? A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car? A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars? An in-car-nation.
What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.? The Presidential Seal.
What's green and loud? A froghorn.
What's round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle.
Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon? He took them to a pignic.
Where do fortune tellers dance? At the crystal ball.
Why did the doughnut shop close? The owner got tired of the hole business!
Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose? His powder puff is on the wrong end.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils.
A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
If you can still hear the music, it's not loud enough!
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle
The chickens have come to roast
If your parents didn't have any kids, there's a good chance you won't.
An atheists worst moment is being truly grateful with no one to thank
A self-made man? Yes - and worships his creator.
A verbal contract is not worth the paper it is written
Forecast for tonight: Dark
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much
Always use tasteful words. You may have to eat them.
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,???.
?Ma?am, I?m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I?m awfully cold.?
?I have a better idea,? she replied ?Just for tonight,?? let?s pretend that we?re married.?
?Wow!???????. That?s a great idea!?, he exclaimed.
?Good,? she replied. ????.?Get your own f***ing blanket.?
After a moment of silence, ???????.he farted.
Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".
There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
The one on the range.
Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.
Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 cents.
was but it was a clear liquid....remember looking at the glass and it was absolutely manky...so I sent it back...end result I still didnt have the drink!!!
Well how are we today?now that the end of the world is nigh?Saw on the news last night that "a spokesman for the Mayan people has said that the interpretation may have all been taken out of context......what is actually meant was that the Mayan calendar goes in cycles of 52..and this is the end of the cycle"
Anyway ..on with the last brew....Tea coffee anyone?
Good morning TDN...did you get the little tree made?nice thought that....what are you up to today?
hi KY.....you ok mate?sound really busy..tell me why have you got a sanity thermometer? thats about as much use as a chocolate fireguard !!!
No seriously ..you take care of yourself...totally agree with your reply to PPQ...she comes first in all of thisMornin Nurdl down in New Joisey.....glad concert went well...looks like you are just bimbling about sightseeing!!Cracking saying that..off like a prom dress...oh yes and well done..day 108 now..not day 1 excellent
Morning Lav..yep heres your cuppa...extra large in case its endex tomorrow!!! how are you today? quiet day or not?Have you got the whole gang with you at Chrimbo? Have a great day
Morning PPq...yep I know that feeling about computers too...makes the throwing of said item through the window really enticing..How are you feeling now?Is the p store fully stocked up ?Liked the pic of the frogs..you can see why he picked her.. the obvious good looks just shine through!!:H:H..Keep smilin an heres a hug :l..look after numero uno first...
Mornin Rabsy..just spoken on anuvver thread...tell me why would you want a blank Czech ?
Good mornin YAH.....well you wouldnt believe it..but my annual fee for cofee and jokes is $4500...now isnt that strange??:H How are you today?Dont get stressed bout the tenancy...just get it on the market!!....anyway ,,you have a great day
Mornin Pauly...youre welcome...how are you? any plans for today?
Mornin SL..you ok..take it easy..the year end stuff wont last forever..come Jan 1 and its history!!!..get some you time in there too.
Cantoo..hiya..yep guess someone is in the deep shxx..You know went through exactly the same with daughter couple of years ago...was going to bin her midwifery off because she didnt like one of the tutors......fortunately it was resolved..was made quite clear if thats what you want to do crack on..but before you do take a long hard look in the back garden and tell me how many money trees you see growing!! Hope it works out for you too..the goat should be interesting!!!
Mornin Det...stick with it mate...get cooking..get that smell of garlic wafting about...always wondered why Maccy Ds tasted funny..now I know
Caysea..good morning ..hope you are well, nice to see you..got Chrimbo planned out?
Mornin SK....how are you doing today?..glad to see you on here
PPQ...have a good cry..nothing wrong with that...but the message to me seems pretty clear...New Zealand, America Canada UK.....and we are all saying the same...look after yourself first...after that is choice..........get them ps in yer pocket and smile on....just walk about today with a big grin on your face..that way people dont know whether you are happy, mad or got wind!!!:H Take it easy x
Right peeps offski now ...stick at it no matter how hard it is dont give into the al...few days time we will be able to say that we are in the second year of quit..have a great day
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
What is a tree's favorite drink? Root beer.
What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed? Sleep somewhere else.
What kind of cats like to go bowling? Alley cats.
What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay? Deviled eggs.
What kind of ties can't you wear? Railroad ties.
What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air? A dead centipede.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car? A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car? A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars? An in-car-nation.
What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.? The Presidential Seal.
What's green and loud? A froghorn.
What's round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle.
Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon? He took them to a pignic.
Where do fortune tellers dance? At the crystal ball.
Why did the doughnut shop close? The owner got tired of the hole business!
Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose? His powder puff is on the wrong end.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils.
A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
If you can still hear the music, it's not loud enough!
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle
The chickens have come to roast
If your parents didn't have any kids, there's a good chance you won't.
An atheists worst moment is being truly grateful with no one to thank
A self-made man? Yes - and worships his creator.
A verbal contract is not worth the paper it is written
Forecast for tonight: Dark
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much
Always use tasteful words. You may have to eat them.
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,???.
?Ma?am, I?m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I?m awfully cold.?
?I have a better idea,? she replied ?Just for tonight,?? let?s pretend that we?re married.?
?Wow!???????. That?s a great idea!?, he exclaimed.
?Good,? she replied. ????.?Get your own f***ing blanket.?
After a moment of silence, ???????.he farted.
Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".
There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
The one on the range.
Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.
Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 cents.
Stay here and vent away. We all understand. And, if it helps, use me as an example. Hearing the "hearings officer" at the RMV look at me and tell me that I would have a THIRD offense if I got another DUI in that state, and that means jail--for a long time. And the financial damage from all of this? Don't even want to think about it.
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