af day Friday 28 Dec

[porqoui]

af day Friday 28 Dec

treetops;1433659 wrote: Thanks Nurdl and Porquoi for alerting me to the F thread. Gordon Ramsay would be at home there. I have saved it for when I need to really vent!

You're welcome TT...

Really confused me when I saw your post on yesterday's thread (for you) :H

Had to look twice as to where I was posting...PPQP

[scottish lass]

af day Friday 28 Dec

Morning all - checking in here. Watched a movie of girls choice last night - not as good as previous evening, but OMGosh I am so enjoying these evenings - I thought being off would be hard as that was always a good excuse to drink - i am realising more and more how I made everything a good excuse.
PPQ - I have MWO opening just to subscribed threads and I have stopped venturing out of the places that I feel comfortable - just a very few rare trips, but I just have about four threads that I check in on, and this is the only place that I post daily.
Some musing I have had is how many of us there are like this. I used to wonder why it was just me and no one else had this problem - no one had more wine than milk in their shopping trolleys on a daily baisis, I didn't hear folks struggling to get home to open a bottle, and going to bed by 9 am as they were too drunk to stay up. No one talked about not doing things as they had to work out when to drink, or how to sneak another drink in. People worked out what food to order, not how to drink more without looking bad. No one talked about not going to see that movie or band as they couldn't drink enough and drive home. I used to really worry as to why I was the only one - it has been such a relief to find out that I am not the only one - and so many have the same worries and fears that I do. Finding this out is really helping me to work thru this and not spend so much time in a fear mode, but more in a how will I succeed in this goal...just sharing my thoughts and ready to get another sober day under way.
Great photo Det - it is so great to be able to enjoy those moments.....

[porqoui]

af day Friday 28 Dec

scottish lass;1433673 wrote:
PPQ - I have MWO opening just to subscribed threads and I have stopped venturing out of the places that I feel comfortable - just a very few rare trips, but I just have about four threads that I check in on, and this is the only place that I post daily

:hallo: SL I actually had thought I learned that lesson...but for some reason had to try again. Gee, I wonder where that comes from :H

And for the rest of your post...here in lies the beauty of MWO!

Thank you for sharing your musings...I felt the same way. :l PPQP

[YoungAtHeart]

af day Friday 28 Dec

Hi All.

What a gorgeous picture, Det! Thanks for sharing it. I'm glad you're feeling better. It is good to see you getting back to a better place.

Thanks also for the PM with instructions for Photobucket, PPQP. I will attempt to get a picture in sometime tonight or tomorrow. Yeah, things can get a bit dodgy out there in JSO and GD. I stick here and in subscriber's. I have no interest in the drama. Ignorance IS bliss when it comes to the drama!

Lav, you are a saint to do so much childcare. I am sure I would slit my wrists in your shoes. You are very giving with your time and attention.

Thanks for starting the thread, TT. I'm finally getting used to seeing the next day's thread the evening before. You STILL have not told me what kind of birds are in your avatar.

Kuya, CanToo, Mick, CB, SL, SF, I'm thinking of all of you, but too lazy right now to write a whole lot.

I'm glad it is Friday. It feels a little lonely with my daughter gone and all the whoopla of Christmas over. I had urges to drink AND smoke today. A few deep breaths helped with smoking cravings. I'm just going to surf the craving for AL. I will NOT cave.

Hugs to all,
:l
YahYah

[CanToo]

af day Friday 28 Dec

PPQP - love that one. May just have to steal it from you.... Hmmmm

Today's movement was a 12k snowshoe trip. :-). I believe we started at about -17 and finished 3 hrs later at a perfect -6. Here a couple of shots. Only the best of the sunny shots for you.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/737328_10151306762657710_1870765578_o.jpg?dl=1

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/256758_10151306762397710_433715635_o.jpg?dl=1

And tomorrow is a new hike for me out of town. The challenge now is to not over dress. We're havin a heat wave. PPQP ... Why not go for a walk around Eau Clair and along the river?

[TheSunFlower]

af day Friday 28 Dec

Det....I forgot mention how awesome that photo is!

Kuya....I agree on the counseling....and I have been down that road. I just never found one I connected to. I was paying a lot of $$ and getting nothing out of it.

Porquoi....I don't have self loathing going on ...like I have in the past. I think things can be overwhelming at times....clean house (not perfect, but resonably clean), kids, wife, job and family. Sometimes its just too much and I want to escape. Work especially puts the pressure on.

One issue I have is that my parents were never around. As kids we were home alone alot. My Dad at the bar and my Mom working. We were never taught any social or coping skills. And quite honestly.....I don't think my parents had the tools within themselves to teach them. I feel like am still lacking in that area. And the years of drinking I did.....did not help.

I do believe that I have to put a system of discipline in place for myself. Years ago, in an AA meeting one woman spoke that she needed more than AA.....in order to stay sober she had to eat right, workout and get enough sleep. I do all those things wrong when I am sober....and then I don't have the coping skills....I turn to booze.

I come here....because out on the board I get lost. Too much all over the place....when I know the one thing I need to do is stop drinking.....period. Then maybe I can learn the tools I was never taught.

Thanks for hanging in there with me everyone. I need each and every one of you.

[CanToo]

af day Friday 28 Dec

kuya;1433383 wrote:

Cantoo----- when exactly do you think you may come? or are you just investigating. If I were coming for an active holiday I would wait til March when most tourists have gone and the kids are back at school.

Investigating. You know how it goes. They talk and talk, but if no one makes the commitment I'm coming to visit you Baby. I cancelled my Nepal trip in October and now I have that need to fly... March dosen't count. :H

[CanToo]

af day Friday 28 Dec

Sun, how about hiring a personal trainer for 12 sessions?

Most will take payments and because you're paying them you show up and do the work. I used to call it paying someone to play with me and the by-product was weight loss and confidence.

CT

[Lavande]

af day Friday 28 Dec

Greetings

SF, have you ever listened to any of the transformational speakers on Hayhouse radio or the Aware show? I have learned a lot & changed my thinking about a lot of things in life....
Take a look, sign up & tune in to listen to a few. You have nothing to lose
- Lisa Garr | Aware Show

Looks like it will start snowing soon, oh joy.
Hope everyone has a comfy night.
Lav

[kuya]

af day Friday 28 Dec

SF..... I know exactly what you mean about connecting. Many years ago I decided to do therapy, it took four counselors before I found 'the one'. The first was a 'psychosadist', the second was nuts, the third was 'nice' but eventually proved lazy and lightweight, the fourth was perfect ( for me) and I worked with her for two years twice weekly initially then once weekly. It saved my life. I was in the midst of PTSD but we dealt with childhood stuff, which is at the root of everything. It did not stop the drinking per se, although if I had followed her advice and not taken on too much too soon it would have done. That said the work with her brought me home to myself......I liked me. The addiction was a coping with extreme fear and stress. It was worth every penny ( the therapy...not the drinking LOL)
When choosing a therapist be guided by your gut instincts. There ARE bad ones. Keep rejecting until you find the right one. Also be painfully honest...... They have heard it all and won't be shocked.....if they seem shocked or in any way judgemental get out fast!

PPQ..... I am fine....better by the day in fact. Bit ticked off with some stuff on the threads yesterday but nothing that is affecting my equilibrium. I do get very defensive when people I respect are criticised. As a relative newbie I can say stuff they can't but I am sure they wish they could I enjoy welcoming the new people but some act like they are paying for help here and start whinging about the 'service'. Really pisses me off TBH.

SF ....you keep sounding stronger and stronger. I love reading your posts and seeing your confidence growing. You don't need alcohol, you never did, none of us did..... We just THOUGHT we did. Keep on trucking

[kuya]

af day Friday 28 Dec

Cantoo..... Hurry up, pool warm, sun shining, birds singing, frogs have stopped shagging.......Nuff said :H