January Generosity - week 1

[dill]

January Generosity - week 1

I caused her enough pain when my drinking became dangerous, and I never ever want to worry her again.

Wow, Rusty, that was spoken from a true place of love.

[papmom3]

January Generosity - week 1

Evening my friends! The first day of 2013 is almost over for most of us and a fine and quiet day it has been.

Chill- on 3 years!! You continue to be such an inspiration to all of us here! Love ya!!

Hippy-way to go on 99 days!! 3 months af before you know it!!

Cat-congrats on your 3 months! It gets easier and easier!

TDN-way to go on your significant af time! Do you feel the shift this time? My thouhts and prayers are winging their way north that your boy feels as good as possible for as long as possible. You know I understand what you are going through.

Lav-I'm sorry to hear about your brother. Is there any further news? Is YB feeling any better tonite?

Dill-you must be so excited to see the light at the end of the tunnel finally!! Can't wait until that is me!!

Star-what did you end up doing today after all your running around yesterday?

Kas-are you still in Vancouver? Any pics forthcoming and are you haveing a good time?

LBH-where are you?

Rusty-my family doesn't get the struggle either as they all still drink, some to excess, some not. I'm not sure if they subscribe to the mind over matter theory but we know that is NOT the case. You have to do whatever is right for you as far as sharing your struggles and if we are the only ones you share with that is just fine! I think you are very brave for writing those letters and I can imagine a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders. I bet your run around the lake today felt like flying!!

Today was a fairly productive work day but I am far from being caught up. Not going to stress over it that's for sure.
I'm feeling slightly better but not 100%. I think tomorrow back at work will be tough. Maybe a half day, we'll see.

have a great nite!! And away we go................

[Kaslo]

January Generosity - week 1

Happy New Year everyone, as usual I am the last dog here today. Congrats to Chill for 3 years today. AWESOME!! Love the name of the thread, and I esp. love Paps Rule. Hi to Mr. G.

And welcome to Hippyman, and keep going, it just gets better.

Lav, I bet YB knows a good thing when he sees it. I too have a cold, (thanks little gk Kaslos).

Star I really agree that its not so hard to be around others who are drinking, I have noticed that I am much more sensitive the the exact point where people seem to cross a line into silly stuff, though, and that MOST people seem to stop before that happens. Im glad I dont have to worry about that any more. I can just watch people having fun, and enjoy myself as well with no side effects. Its a win win.

TDN your poor old dog. And sorry you have to bear all the hard decisions and be the strong one. It would be nice to have some support. You must feel pretty isolated sometimes.

Dill, I also agree about the reason for women coming here. When I saw the site was initiated by a woman I felt a lot safer discussing my issues here. Today, because I am working on an epidemiological problem at the moment, I was reading about a particular cohort group of male marines from a particular military base that had contaminated drinking water and subsequently contracted breast cancer. The work on their cases has started to show how environmental contamination was responsible for their development of the disease. (Because a lot of the background factors that influence breast cancer in women could be ruled out, such as child bearing, hormone levels, breastfeeding /not breastfeeding, etc etc). But the REALLY interesting part of the study was the observation that when they started treatment, they found that the support groups and whole pink ribbon scene really was dominated by women, and that these big tough macho guys really benefitted from the kind support and understanding that women seemed to be able to provide. In otherwords, we taught them that. I work in a male dominated field, and have learned a tonne from the guys for sure, and had a lot of fun and challenges, but its nice to know we women can give back something, especially when its centered around healing and self improvement. So yay us!

Pappy, I was on Vancouver Island. It was an awful Christmas, really bad, but I am not going to rain on anyones lovely parade today. All the best. K

[dill]

January Generosity - week 1

Greetings All, I'm up early, having to return to work today and at an earlier than usual hour. Of course there's lots to do to get myself and my work things sorted and ready to go so not much time to post.

:wd::happy::yay:Happy 100 Hippyman!!:yay::happy::wd:

Kas, sorry your Christmas was below par. This is a safe place to share if you decide you would like to do so.

Pmom, I am one who has kept my drinking secret, even from my family, aside from Mr. D. Some may suspect that I had a small problem, but no one knows the extent. They don't know the struggle I've had trying to quit, but they don't need to know, since I feel it is just my issue to deal with, not theirs. Most members of my family drink, as in yours, some to excess, some not, and some not at all. The ones who drink to excess don't know the struggle of quitting but will if they ever decide their drinking needs to stop for health reasons, or whatever. I really don't think anyone can understand this problem unless they've been through it. I'm happy for those that don't have to know!! On the other hand, there have been times when I have actually been grateful for this struggle. It has given me an appreciation for life and clarity that I may not have had otherwise.

Happy AF Hump Day All!

[Stargazerlily]

January Generosity - week 1

Good morning on this freezing cold day. I have to go back to work and it is not feeling easy right now on my second cup of coffee.

Happy 100 days Hippyman, you are making lifechanging decisions, day by day. It would be fun to hear what the best changes have been for you.

Pap, we ended up going to a movie and hanging out with our friends, eating and talking, with a little TV involved. They drank, we didn't, and it was a nice evening.

Dill, wanting to keep my struggle private, I too was thrilled when I found this site. It is such a great holistic program, and I think alot of people think that moderating is the way to go, till they get here and find that it is just easier to be AF. To be able to talk online about anything you need to is awesome help. I feel bad when I read meaness on some of the other threads and just wonder what that is about. We are all on our own journey and need help and support, not negativity.

Rusty, the effects of alcohol on our psyche are so intense, I do not think that your Mom will ever understand and thank goodness. The decision to change and obtaining the skills set to do it takes time. We should all be proud of ourselves. I think it shows character and integrity to send those letters, and know the world would be a better place if more of us took the time to apologize for the troubles and difficulties we have caused others. What a spiritual thing to do.

Chill, hope your New Year's Day was peaceful and a great start to your new year.

Lav, YB comes over when he is sick? He owes you a great dinner out for your services, at least, and I hope you tell him.

Took down the Christmas decorations yesterday, it was kind of sad as it always is. A new candle helped and being able to relax. OK everybody, have a great day and hello to LBH, Cyn, Catb, TDN and all.

[ThreeDogNight]

January Generosity - week 1

Just checking in to say Good Morning.

I've been up since 5:30, but had to work on my resume and cover letter and get them printed out. Also had some work to do for a new small project for the educational sales rep. And it appears that he is finally coming up tomorrow to take me to lunch. . .so am hoping that he has more work for me to do!

Focused on staying positive!

Will Write more tonight and respond to your posts.

TDN

[Lavande]

January Generosity - week 1

Good morning all,

Getting myself back into gear as well
First stop Curves then back here for some work that's been piling up. Christmas packed up & put away, makes the place looks empty but I'll adjust :H

CONGRATS TO HIPPYMAN ON 100 AF DAYS :yay:

No one could possibly know the depth of struggle it takes to climb out of alcohol hell unless they have done it themselves. That's why this forum works for so many of us & I appreciate each & every one of you

Wishing everyone a great AF Wednesday & back to work day
Lav

[ladybirdheart]

January Generosity - week 1

Happy New Year One Day Late!!! Congratulations Hip and Chill. I too am so glad to be on this path together, it just puts a layer of care and perspective around us. I love this time of year when the holiday demands and rewards, real and imaginary, are behind me. I did have one drop dead fantastic New Years Eve, the best in years. Lord Bird Heart and I hosted a formal dinner for a solitary guest and what a guest she turned out to be. She is a lady in her seventies who at one point was a high ranking police official in one the largest US cities, no small feat for an African American female in the seventies who by the way was/is also a marvelous night club singer, a real live diva in all the good sense. She had never been to our house before and I was nervous, fixing and fussing over everything. She arrived dripping in mink (she is from another time you see) and sequins and diamonds in Lord Bird Heart's Smart Car (this was hilarious); I made a really good but unusual for me dinner (don't cringe Lav but part of it was prime steak which along with whole wheat couscous and creme brule contained every food group you loathe:H); and then she provided the music from nine until one, both CDs of her favorite artists and live. She sang "A Change is Gonna Come" just like a big glittery angel. It was just the three of us but we danced all over the house. She spent the night, we took her to a dive for breakfast (in her mink and sunglasses), and then Lord Bird Heart took her home. I will never forget it even though I imagine it might not be everyone's cup of tea. So it is quiet here again now and I am looking forward to a generous year ahead. I feel abundance all around me so it is probably inside. Love, Ladybird.

[Lavande]

January Generosity - week 1

You should have invited me LBH ~ I would love to meet an interesting lady like that. Of course I probably would have had to brownbag a vegan sandwich for dinner :H :H
I'm glad you had such a memorable evening

Greetings TDN, I think we were cross posting this morning!

It is 23 degrees here and not even 8 pm yet, Brrr.

Matilda is playing with yet another stink bug.......why won't they just go away?
I think I'd better got remove the bug before it gets eaten, yuck.

[ThreeDogNight]

January Generosity - week 1

Good evening to everyone!

Hippyman--congrats on 100 days!!! That is a great start to a new year! You encourage so many on MWO--I see your posts everywhere, and I admire you.

LBH, what a neat ay to spend New Year's Eve!! That friend sounds so interesting, and I wish I could meet her! I love music of all kinds, so three hours of it would be heaven to me. I had a little laugh about the "dive" and a lady in a mink coat:H Must have been a hoot.

Lav, how did you manage with the sick YB??? You have so much patience. He is very lucky to have you, and I hope that he realizes it. Do the meds seem to be helping?

DIll--are you a teacher or professor? I see that you are coming close to retirement. I've been out of teaching since 1998, and would have a lot of trouble going back. So much is demanded of teachers, even more than when I was in the classroom.

Amazing about the letter writing, Rusty!!! That takes a lot of courage and I'm glad that people responded to you. And great that your family (especially your mom) doesn't worry about you any longer.

Kas, I am so sorry that New Year's was so bad for you. Interesting story about the men with breast cancer. That must be a very difficult thing for a man to go through.

Well, I worked today, but my friend picked me up and we went to an exercise class at the Senior Center:H Line dancing. I was just about the youngest one in the group. i know the woman who teaches this, as she has been teaching aerobics since we moved here in 1993, and I did her Step class for years. It was fun, but even though I haven't done anything other than walking in a long time, this was certainly no challenge! But it was a lot of fun. I am looking forward to getting back to the classes at the gym soon.

I am going to try to finish this project for the guy I'll be meeting for lunch tomorrow.

Hope you all have a great AF night, and I'll "see" you in the morning!

I, too, am grateful to be a part of this group, and I thank you all for welcoming me and helping me stay AF

TDN

[papmom3]

January Generosity - week 1

Oh LBH-what an absolutely wonderful story!! You meet attract the most interesting people!! You exuded happiness and excitement in your post and it made me so happy!! What a way to ring in the new year!!

TDN-good wishes for your meeting tomorrow. I have no doubt you will blow him away!! Glad the line dancing wasn't too strenuous-I'm afraid it would just about do me in at this point!!

Kas-I'm so sorry you had such a rotten holiday. Share only if you want. Please know love and support surround you on here.

Lav-ewww. I can't believe Matilda would eat a stink bug!! My guys only want to eat rabbit turds so i feel blessed!!

Absolutely bone chilling here today and even colder tomorrow. Lots of black ice out there too.

I wish I hadn't gone into work. I thought I was feeling better but felt like crap the whole day. Will probably stay home tomorrow. Reports from the field are saying this bug takes at least 10 days to get over. bah. But at least I was able to submit my letter of resignation AND I found out that it was announced at the VP's direct report meeting!! It's official!! I've told almost everyone I wanted to tell personally and everyone is sooo happy for me. They all know what I've gone through the past 5 years. I feel so relieved and can finally get excited!! Oh and 1 other person in my office also gave her notice today and another person in another office gave his. What did I start???

[Kaslo]

January Generosity - week 1

I forgot to congratulate HippyM on 100 days. I remember very fondly the downright FUN it was to get there, and feel so well for a change. At 100 days I think the body still remembers the damage it was getting every day, and certainly we can actually remember what a horrible hangover felt like. SO WELL DONE.

thanks Pap, you are a sweetie.

I have to tell you all, its been tough. and i shouldnt even be on here, as I have a big deadline on an important human health issue in the north. Its hard because its about children... essentially my eldest daughter is a welfare mom, with two little kids, she is the one with the marijuana problem. She has a horrendous temper. We packed up everything, drove through hazzardous conditions to be there for her for Christmas as she has started a job in a restaurant bar and she needs to make money. She was fine until Boxing day, then blew up at her sister and Mr Kaslo. Dont need to give details, but it was gruesome. Next day, started again, only this time on her 2.5 yo son, and I calmly said I couldnt take any more. She was going to have us baby sit the two of them, they are my grandkids and I dont get to see them often, but she pulled the kids out of the rental house we had, and tossed them in the car, and roared off, and I have been persona non grata ever since. She also emptied a "joint" bank account.

But here is one of the bad parts, just before we were to leave I took my elderly cat in to be checked because she was yowling and had a bad looking cloud in one eye. The prognosis was either a 4 thousand dollar series of operations immediately to remove her eyes, or have her put down. I would have had to cancel the trip and in retrospect I wish I had. At least I would have a blind but affectionate cat with an Edwardian collar to look after. So I had my cat put down, and im in pretty tough shape about my daughter, but honestly I think I am worse over the cat. My daughter has snipped me off Facebook, so I cant even see pix of the little kids. I think she will soften up, she usually does, especially when the money runs out, but its tough.

I feel horribly guilty about my cat. I didnt want to confess this, either, as I know there are real animal lovers on here who would mortgage their homes for their animals. But I didnt want to put her through the operation, she was a sweetie. Old but sweet. Miss her right now for sure.

Sorry you guys, go easy on me please, but the vet gave me few options. She was in horrible glaucoma induced pain continuously, apparently.

The good news is AL was not even a consideration at any point. Almost at two years for me now, and I dont want to go back there.

What a disaster.

k

[papmom3]

January Generosity - week 1

Oh Kas, my poor sweet friend!! There will be absolutely NO judgements from any of us about your sweet cat. That decision is never an easy one to make no matter what the situation. You could never have predicted the holiday outcome so please don't even use that as part of the decision. You did what was right for you and your kitty. She is at peace now, painfree and cavorting at the bridge like a kitten. Please take care of yourself and Mr. Kas. What your daughter did was strictly her own decision and not at all your fault. I do hope she will let you back into your GKs lives soon as it is not fair to them to be cut off from you. We are here for you. :l :h

[Lavande]

January Generosity - week 1

Kas,
Here's a few hugs for you:l:l

I went thru the hell of havng my dog put down 15 months ago, it is a hard thing to do but also the humane thing to do. You did the right thing.

I have also been on the receiving end of my daughter's & DIL's sudden & severe mood swings
A few things we need to remember:
Our daughters have the same hormonal ups & downs that we used to have (back when we had hormones) They always level out.
No one on the planet can hurt you the way your child can, am I right?
They seem to be able to stab you just a little harder than anyone else can.
She will come around, sit tight! Talk to us all you want to, we are listening :l

Papmom, it's cold here too for this area but I hear warmer air is on the way, Yay!
btw - Matilda doesn't actually eat the stink bugs - she just plays with them until they die - and release their stink of course, ugh.

[Kaslo]

January Generosity - week 1

Thank you Pap and Lav. Your kind words mean a lot to me. Mr. Kaslo is supportive but not very demonstrative. You are both right of course. I am ashamed of my daughters actions, but I dont want to inflame her further so I am keeping a low profile. Her dad is a physician and her step mom is an addictions councilor for troubled teens, they see her daily, so you would think they would spot her mental illness. They are in denial about it. A word on this, some physicians do not want to recognize mental illness in their own families. I believe she has bipolar syndrome, and has always been mercurial and occassionally violent, she has been charged with weapons offenses, and has assaulted a few people, so I am very worried about it. And worried for my grandkids.

You have helped, again. Thank you.

kas