af day Thurs 24 Jan

[RunningCourage]

af day Thurs 24 Jan

Mick - just saw your post in the 100day thread re councillor Danny Healy-Rae's proposal to up the drinking limit for the choochters of Ireland. I'm trying to think of what I'd think of it 5 months ago... hard... but I think (despite my own bad BAD BAD habit of driving under the influence when I was drinking) that it's a bad idea because

1. Simply put, drinking adversely affects ones mental capabilities. To drive any motorised vehicle - even on rural roads that see more sheep arses in an hour than real people in a week - having imbibed a substance that adversely affects ones mental capacities ought to be illegal. Increasingly I'd probably take a zero tolerance approach to drink driving, but i recognise that's a position i would've adopted since being here.

2. My Healey-Rae says We don't want to see people drunk, we're only talking about up to three pints' ... A pint of Stella Artois, Budwieser or Heineken all have 2.8 units in them. That's 8.4 units. That's nearly a bottle of wine. That's positively creating a death trap. Forget about 'travelling very minor roads ? with very little traffic' and 'have never killed anyone' - all it takes is a fecking sheep to flash it's arse and the drunk driver is off the road struggling to take control. Fatal.

3. Mr Healy-Rae says: 'This would have to be monitored, maybe by the publican or through some sort of stamped card system.' WTF?!?! Ridiculous. Tax payers money to set up a monitoring system so as some folks can drink more AND drive?! Publicans with breathalysers? Really?! Surely Mr Heanly-Rae you'd rather be making money than saving lives? I wonder so.

4. Mr Healy-Rae claimed his proposal would bring back a social outlet for lonely people in rural areas that has been lost after more strict drink-drive laws were introduced... :stomper: WHY MUST WE ALL RUN AWAY INTO DRINK?!?! Why can't people be social without recourse to drink. Why can't people be sociable without drinking MORE? Mr Healy-Rae is a publican.He is more concerned about his own livelihood than the risk to lives his establishment can cause upon others. OK, so now I sound like some stuck up pompous abstainer from some Dickens novel, BUT that he is a publican does seem to sound like his modus operandi is to ensure his income remains up.

OF COURSE many of the locals who drink in his establishment may support it, certainly after 2 pints I would support it... because I'd be wanting my third, fourth, fifth, sixth pint.... but that is not to say it is the right thing to do.

Finally - Mr Healy-Rae is a numpty if Irish rural roads are anything like Scottish ones. Not wanting to fear people, our roads are reasonably safe, however I would be lying if i were to say that it was uncommon to see folks living in rural Scotland drink driving. Some do. And a few drink very liberally before skimming round skinny roads that skirt the lochs. If some Irish are doing the same, Mr Healy-Rae by raising this issue, may have alerted the authorities to such indiscriminate acts that culminates in the curtailing all drink driving.

:goodjob: Danny!

[treetops]

af day Thurs 24 Jan

Quick chip in re the Danny Healy-Rae proposal in Ireland. We have similar probs here in NZ with isolation/mental depression in rural areas but also people driving to pubs/people's places. We also have a ghastly record of horrendous accidents in rural areas (and urban of course). Doesn't help that our roads can be quite tricky even when sober. Plus there is a youth drink/driving culture in some country areas -slowly changing but note I say slowly. Ay, Kuya?

[Kaslo]

af day Thurs 24 Jan

Cinders I just have to respond to your post. It is possible to reduce some of the PAWS issues with awareness, self-communication, supplements, specific exercise, building new routines, support, record taking.

Because you have had a lot of experience with this, and are very self aware, I am reluctant to blab on about the methods I have found to be very useful, so if this doesnt make sense you can just ignore it, if you like.

Awareness is realizing that you are starting to tilt. That you are headed for an emotional fall. Its similar to realizing your triggers, but its more than that, its the work you need to do on yourself to recognize and document and deal with (not just avoid) triggers

Self communication is so useful. You already know when something is going bad on you, if its an interaction with your daughter when shes been drinking or some other thing in your life that is stressful for you. You have to set up a method of allowing your voice to be heard. If you dont do this already, it helps a LOT to get a note book and write down some lists. The reasons why you HATE Al. The reasons why you MUST quit for good. What YOU LIKE about being sober, especially when you start the day. What you want to DO with your self. (Gardening, reading, swimming, pen and ink drawing what ever it is). Refer back to these lists, and start to keep a diary of every day, especially dealing with how you feel, what is giving you JOY. Joy will return, thats one of the first things that comes back. It comes back before three months, usually, and you just need to learn how to recognize it and let it in the door.

Supplements: I cant recommend water enough. As a tox person I know that my body was suffering from decades of dehydration. In order for the organs to heal (and I dont care how many people say they have had no ill effects, they do have ill effects, they are just not aware of them) the organs need water at the cellular level to get all the aldehydes, keytones, acetone derivatives and other crap that is messing up your system still even into month 9 or so OUT and down the toilet. So drink lots. Other supplements I can comment on later but Milk thisle, yes, replacement of the fat soluble vitamins, definetely.

You need to move. Not kill yourself, but just move, get some fresh air. A short walk twice a day, even if its only 5 minutes each time, is critically important and it allows you to think through those lists you have made. To plan your life strategies the way YOU want them, not as they are thrown at you through a haze of AL.

Everyone knows their triggers when they stop and think about it, and I dont think its possible to always avoid them but to know them and work out why they do it to us every time, thats tougher. You want to change your life. You want your life to be for you and your loved ones and friends, and not for the medical system of your country. So in that book, take the list of the things you would like to do and start drawing out what you need, where you need to go, when to do these things. Start surfing other websites than AL recovery ones like this on, get thee to a book store, a shop a library, art gallery. Build some passions. More than one or two. I started with processing and printing my photographs. I believe Lav wanted her grand kids in her life more. You can change them, but start somewhere.

Support is here, but there is nothing that can substitute for the sound of the human voice, understanding you, listening, and I dont mean a psychiatrist or a councillor, but a friend, a relative someone in your life who knows you. You would be suprised how important that sounds is advising and helping, responding, etc. There is nothing quite like a conversation about how much you want your life back and why you hate AL to resonate and stick with you and heal you.

And finally back to record taking. The other half of your book is a diary of how you did stuff each day and what your hopes and fears were, triumphs, failures, mundane details even. WRITE IT DOWN.

Follow these simple guidelines and they will lead you through the recovery phase into the best part of your life You CAN do it. Hells bells, if i did it you can.

Kas

[kuya]

af day Thurs 24 Jan

treetops;1449874 wrote: Quick chip in re the Danny Healy-Rae proposal in Ireland. We have similar probs here in NZ with isolation/mental depression in rural areas but also people driving to pubs/people's places. We also have a ghastly record of horrendous accidents in rural areas (and urban of course). Doesn't help that our roads can be quite tricky even when sober. Plus there is a youth drink/driving culture in some country areas -slowly changing but note I say slowly. Ay, Kuya?

Yeah TT, but amongst my 23 year old son's age group it IS changing. Those 40 plus are the hardcore problem IMO

[treetops]

af day Thurs 24 Jan

Great news - I have been to the Dr and my liver counts are all coming down - so relieved.

[Catbuddy]

af day Thurs 24 Jan

Hi all, lively today and wonderful to read.

Kaslo, thank you for the PAWS post. I am reassured to think the repair is ongoing and continued commitment to healthy diet and exercise will make me feel better and better. People at work have started asking me what has changed, why do I look so good. REALLY! I tell them I gave up drinking. I'm so comfortable with that now. I'm getting huge positive reinforcement on that front.

Kuya, re the detractors of my ex to potential suitors. It is two-fold. One, I'm not divorced, so for some, that lack of resolution is a show-stopper. Two, I have the financial responsibilities of a divorced spouse but the profile of single mom - so the worst of both worlds. That's a bit extreme, as Daniel does spend some nights so it's better than a true single mom. But I'm rarely free for a full weekend. So if I was a single mom, I'd be taking that $$$ I give him and spending it on childcare help. You get the picture.

RC, interesting debate on drink driving. My feelings definitely shifted AFTER I got arrested for it. At first, I was angry, poor me, I was driving fine and stopped for a broken taillight. Then I had to go to AL education for four months in addition to almost $10k in fees. I learned that no, I was not safe, and it is a privilege, not a right, to drive. Once I got the entitlement out of my thinking, I could see why I should change my behavior.

Our legal limit is .08 here - about 2 drinks for a man over an hour, one for a woman. If you have a DUI, the limit is ZERO. TDN knows how awful it is to break this law twice. I am hugely relieved that I can drive anytime I want to now and be respecting the law and other drivers. It's more who I am as a core personality, you know?

TT, so glad your tests are good! Yeah! We need to be proactive and patient with our health - sometimes hard to know the balance.

Cat

[Catbuddy]

af day Thurs 24 Jan

HI Mick,

I forgot to respond to your post to me. Thank you for the thoughts. I'm going to try the following - the next time I am in deep emotional pain, I will think of it like any pain - it won't last forever. I've run half marathons, and you learn to ride out the pain. So this is not a skill I have with emotions; I always ran to food or the bottle. We'll see how it goes.

Perspective works for me on handling depression, but not pain. Pain is like I just slammed my thumb with a hammer, well, at least my leg is not on fire. Doesn't work. Thumb still hurts like hell, and you're hopping around yelling. Distraction may help. Although historically, I'm just miserable in a better setting. No, for now, I'll just try patience, knowing it will pass.

Cat

[kuya]

af day Thurs 24 Jan

treetops;1449985 wrote: Great news - I have been to the Dr and my liver counts are all coming down - so relieved.

That is really GREAT news TT

Cat ....... I hear ya, but you ARE an amazing person. Of course you will struggle to find a new partner ........ There aren't many made like you!

[Catbuddy]

af day Thurs 24 Jan

Kuya, thank you for the encouragement as always. I will have patience, faith, and POSITIVE ENERGY!

I could attract fireflys or furballs - my choice.

Cat