af day Wed 30 Jan

[paulywogg]

af day Wed 30 Jan

sorry youre stressed yah,family is a pain! still sick as a dog here but loading up on vitamin c and water,you guys have a great day

[Cinders]

af day Wed 30 Jan

Hello, AFers,

I had a rough day today. I went to psychiatrist for me this a.m. and that went very well. She started me on Baclofen again but at very low dosage and titrating very slowly.

Then I picked up my mom for her cardiologist appt. She recognized me when I came in but from then on, the day went down hill. I don't think my mom said an entire sentence the whole day that made any sense.

Dementia is a cruel condition. We are talking about a woman who did so many things in life, was vibrant and lively. Now she can't even talk coherently.

No reason to drink, though, but just sad.

Love,
Cindi

Sorry to dwell on me, me, me. Right now that is all I can do, though. I will be better tomorrow in terms of looking outside myself.

[blondie]

af day Wed 30 Jan

Argh - losing posts all over th eplace.

So hugs to those who are under the weather just now.
Great looking pool Kuya.
Welcome GT.
Yah - well done on not succumbing; no matter how near or far, families can be frustrating (nice about your daughter though!)
PPQ - like that I now have a reason for any excess weight - full brain (though what mine is full of...!):H
Hi Cat, Lav, RC (are your friends here from UK?)
Hi to everyone and where's TT to start of today?
have a great day

[Lavande]

af day Wed 30 Jan

Some days I check in a couple of times
Not because there is a problem, just because I like to stay in touch with like-minded, successful AF folks!

Caysea, check in whenever you like - this has always been a good thread

Cindi, I'm sorry about your Mom. I know it's hard to witness all that but at some point, as the dementia progresses the individual just seems to relax. They essentially become more docile & stress free. Dealing with patients & their families for nearly three decades proved that the family suffers much more than the patient. I hope your new Baclofen regimen agrees with you

blondie, I'm in the US as is Cat. RC is in the UK but sometimes it seems like he's in our backyards :H

Wishing everyone a nice evening. I'm putting my feet up now that my busy grandsons have gone home. 4 1/2 hrs watching them is enough for this granny today

Lav

[Kaslo]

af day Wed 30 Jan

Great advice Lav, born of experience, as usual. Hi everyone. I thought I would check in... Day before yesterday, I had a challenging day... I had to stand up to a very demanding client, and basically tell him he was messing up. NOt good. He didnt take it well either, he fired me. But then at the end of the day after he calmed down he had to reconsider and hired me back again. Thing is I had the calm determined courage to stand up to him reasonably with no angular sharp language, and I didnt get upset when he got mad. I just kind of said to myself well what ever he does, I had to take a stand. And it all worked out. So thats what almost 2 years has done for me. Just thought I would tell you guys about this example. My life isnt different really but it is easier.

[Determinator]

af day Wed 30 Jan

thank you all for the nice messages and PM's. sorry I haven't had the composure or energy to respond but I have hope of being there very soon. ate well today which is a good start. now my problem is that my last bout of depression was so bad that it put my dear wife into her very own state of depression. she won't eat and is in bed all day crying. Im so sad and feeling helpless. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
enjoyed all of your posts as usual. will try to check chat later if I'm still up.

be well everyone

[porqoui]

af day Wed 30 Jan

Just a quick lurk before bed and had to respond to Cinders....:angel:"PPP":angel:

I have been going through the same thing with my Dad since September 2010. Not to brag but he was a very important, intelligent, highly respected man in the oil field and it makes me sad to see him now...till I decided I'd live in his world when I'm with him. So whatever conversation he's having, whether I understand what he's saying or not, I answer him, agree or disagree with him or change the subject all together. We have great fun and some of the conversations are hilarious. Just wanted to share.

Glad the psych appt went well, never have tried Bac but have done a lot of reading on it. Hope it helps. Have a good sleep....PPQP

[TheSunFlower]

af day Wed 30 Jan

Det...I can feel your situation. It really is a family disease as when we get pulled down....we drag the ones we love most down with us.

The intense part of therapy is over. I realize that I had a crappy childhood emotionally. I had people let me down in life......and quite frankly I came to depend on a drug....which momentarliy gave me what I needed. Not to say that a beer bottler ever loved me or supported me. It just took all emotions out of the equation.

So the drug did the job I needed it to do at the moment.

Now....I am doing the things consistently to move me farther from "craving or wanting" the drug. It has not been easy. It has not been pretty.

But....it really all came down to forgiveness. Real forgiveness and that is not an easy task and one I am still working on.

I am working hard at keeping my emotions on an even keel. Work can set me off like no tomorrow....I love my job....but, there is another path that I would enjoy more....and I headed to gettting into that field of business.

So things are good here. I still am not checking in daily.....mainly just skimming the posts when I do. I am literally creating a new life for myself....if I kept the old one....I'd keep drinking. For me just quitting drinking was never the answer.....things never came into place for me. Now the puzzle is being unlocked......and put back together.

[kuya]

af day Wed 30 Jan

porqoui;1453989 wrote: Just a quick lurk before bed and had to respond to Cinders....:angel:"PPP":angel:

I have been going through the same thing with my Dad since September 2010. Not to brag but he was a very important, intelligent, highly respected man in the oil field and it makes me sad to see him now...till I decided I'd live in his world when I'm with him. So whatever conversation he's having, whether I understand what he's saying or not, I answer him, agree or disagree with him or change the subject all together. We have great fun and some of the conversations are hilarious. Just wanted to share.

Glad the psych appt went well, never have tried Bac but have done a lot of reading on it. Hope it helps. Have a good sleep....PPQP

What you are doing with your dad is so wise. Accepting change and valuing him as he is, not was is so profoundly beautiful :h

[ThreeDogNight]

af day Wed 30 Jan

Good morning!

Det, just wanted to tell you that I feel for you, and your wife. Depression is terrible. I so hope that things will improve for both of you very soon. Wish I could be of more help, but please just know that you are in my thoughts a lot. :l

SF, good to see you here, and good to know that you are fighting the good fight! I had a crappy childhood, too, and had some very hard times when my parents were ill, in nursong homes, and then their deaths. I try to think now that I was strong to have survived all of that, een though AL as a part of the latter events. Same with you!

Raining here, and over 50F, but going back down to the 20s tonight. Snow has disappeared, and the ind is howling. Hope we don't lose power.

Have been busy working on a project and also preparing for my sales job. And will be at the flower shop for part of today and all of tomorrow. Hope to get to an aerobics class tonight. Went to a class Mon and yesterday, but tonight's will be more challenging.

Intoxalock has calmed down a bit after I finally got somebody in CS who could give me some information that was helpful! Still parking where I hope nobody can see me blowing into it, but when it goes off hile I am driving, I can't help that.

Have a great AF day, everyone.

[YoungAtHeart]

af day Wed 30 Jan

Hugs, Cindi. Hang in there about your mom. :l

Kas, I have had the same experience as you. People will often come back if you deal with them directly and without anger. Taking the risk is usually worth it.

SF, it is good to see you posting. It sounds like your journey is a good one, albeit painful.

Deter, Dx..... :l

Off to read today's post.

YahYah

[paulywogg]

af day Wed 30 Jan

sunflower,im glad you are dealing with the issues that are bugging you,you are right in just quitting the booze doesnt make everything better if theres still other issues

[Cinders]

af day Wed 30 Jan

TheSunFlower;1453993 wrote: Det...I can feel your situation. It really is a family disease as when we get pulled down....we drag the ones we love most down with us.

The intense part of therapy is over. I realize that I had a crappy childhood emotionally. I had people let me down in life......and quite frankly I came to depend on a drug....which momentarliy gave me what I needed. Not to say that a beer bottler ever loved me or supported me. It just took all emotions out of the equation.

So the drug did the job I needed it to do at the moment.

Now....I am doing the things consistently to move me farther from "craving or wanting" the drug. It has not been easy. It has not been pretty.

But....it really all came down to forgiveness. Real forgiveness and that is not an easy task and one I am still working on.

I am working hard at keeping my emotions on an even keel. Work can set me off like no tomorrow....I love my job....but, there is another path that I would enjoy more....and I headed to gettting into that field of business.

So things are good here. I still am not checking in daily.....mainly just skimming the posts when I do. I am literally creating a new life for myself....if I kept the old one....I'd keep drinking. For me just quitting drinking was never the answer.....things never came into place for me. Now the puzzle is being unlocked......and put back together.

Hello, SF.

I hope you skim and know there are those here who care.

Love,
Cindi