Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

[Stargazerlily]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

Good morning to all...

Welcome to all newcomers! Stay a while and see if you find this thread a good fit. We are all on this journey to health and wellness together. Being AF is the beginning of the journey, viewing the world and ourselves in a new way helps us to live our lives with joy and purpose. Without alcohol, it is necessary to face ourselves, our lives, our relationships, our work, and we are able to do it as we are not on the rollercoaster of drinking, feeling sick, drinking, feeling depressed...

It is amazing how much time alcohol consumption and the aftermath took of our time...at first some have a hard time figuring out how to fill that time. It is also different dealing with and getting through empty time, down time. Everyone has it, and it can be worked through. I like peace now, quiet, and time to feel well. It is lovely.

Chill, how fun, where do you find these yoga studios? Online, through word of mouth? Have you made some friends in your new community? Will it be hard for you to go back to work or are you looking forward to it? I like to work, but would prefer part-time. Alas, that is off in the future.

Rusty, I too like that quote, thanks for bringing it up. The weather is really cold here too. Yesterday I helped some one shop and the wind ripped through us. We are tough Midwesterners too! Thanks for responding to the Man'ti Teo story, I just feel so bad for him, to have someone make up a fake identity...normal people just don't expect that type of stuff and so are blindsided when someone targets them. It is not just young people either. The other dude has a lot of issues and so hopefully Dr. Phil will steer him in that direction. I though I would mention that I was referred to this movie I saw for free on Hulu...Fat, Sick and Almost Dead. It is not depressing, despite the title...but a story of taking control of your life through juicing and plant based eating. It was so interesting, so I thought I would mention it. I was fascinated with the idea that we can make ourselves ill with all type of substances, not just alcohol. Anyway, the determination and motivation reminded me of many MWO members.

Lav, sorry you are dealing with sick kids. Kind of interesting that their parents did not cancel their dinner plans to care for them. I remember being discouraged when my kids were little and sick, you are wonderful to help them out so much. I love that you asked YB for help. Hope your Saturday has some fun involved, too.

LBH, an art event sounds fun. Fish bone not so much. I thought about your statement that alcohol is farther and farther away from your mind and life...over time that is so true. That is what RJ wanted in her book, to have alcohol be unimportant, not an everyday thing or all consuming. I think that over time she just figured it was not worth consuming at all. What do you think?

Ground Hog's Day is my least favorite event...the middle of winter and we all know what is going to happen, right? He/she will see their shadow, it is inevitable. Hello to all and have a great Saturday.

[papmom3]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

good morning fab friends. I have a few minutes before heading out to the demo so I thought I would post.

Star-I think it might have been me who referred you to that movie. I found it over the holidays on Amazon and it was my first free download for my new kindle. I too really liked it and almost went out and bought the juicer he uses! I made myself wait tho. I want to make sure my budget can handle $140 (actually not a bad price and I hope it is still that low). I posted the link on here and had hoped more people would take a look. He of course is making big $$ off his website but that's to be expected. I think his basic message is still good and of course no one really needs to buy his food plans!!

Lav-you go girl with making YB stay present and involved in the family. I think he secretly wants to be otherwise he would have asked for a divorce long ago, don't you agree? Keep nudging him. You were very nice to let your kids keep their dinner engagement. I sincerely hope they appreciate all you do for them and don't take you for granted.

Rusty-how long are you home for? I can just picture you sitting on the gorgeous couch, fire burning, delicious book on your lap, wrapped in an afghan. the lights from the fire dancing off your beams. Sigh.......

Welcome back TT, Blondie and Welcome P1. I think Star put all our thoughts about finding a place to stay on here perfectly as well as what this journey is all about. Certainly not just being AF although in the beginning that's all you can think of.

Chill-I've done Bikram Yoga twice in my life. I didn't hate it but didn't love it either. I think you will love it!! A good friend has done it for over 20 years and now has her own studio in upperstate NY. It opened last year and is her dream come true. It's doing extremely well by all accounts. Good luck with your job search! I hear ya!!

OK, now I have to scuttle my butt out of here. Will check in tonite.

[Lavande]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

Good morning everyone & Happy Groundhog day!

It's a freezing 16 degrees but the sun is shining. I'm still waiting to hear the weather prediction from the famous PA RODENT Punxsutawney Phil :H :H
What a dumb event, huh??

Hi Persephone, nice to see you here!
We have a great group of fabulous ladies (mostly) here. The occasional brave male will stop in to say hello
We have (most of us) been together here for several years & continue to support & encourage one another in our AF lives.

Chill, hope you enjoy your new yoga class.
I seem to be getting all the exercise I want with Curves, handling toddlers & handling all the chores around Lav-land.

Star, YB & I were both wondering yesterday why the kids didn't even seem to consider cancelling their evening plans. The thinking of that generation is definitely more self-focused
I never would have gone out like that but that's just history now

I have nothing 'fun' on plan for the weekend, will just play it by ear as usual. I have zero interest in the Super Bowl & all the usual food, AL, partying, etc that goes along with it - but that's just me

Have a great AF Saturday everyone!
Lav

[Lavande]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

Cross post Papmom

[Persephone1]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

Good morning all, I hope I have found a place to 'hang out' for a bit on this thread...have had a hard time finding a place to fit in, if that makes sense. Thank you for the warm welcomes.

I am only on day 8, but honestly haven't the slightest desire to poison myself. I am hopeful that the last pitiful drunk was THE last, for good. There was only once in these 8 days that I struggled at all and that ended up being anxiety related to another matter entirely, I suppose that is the norm though. Anyway, hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

[Lavande]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

Persephone,
That's how you get the job done, one day at a time!
Think positively & make your dreams & goals come true. Great on 8 AF days!!

I wanted to mention something about our friend Kaslo.
She is fine & wants everyone to know that she is staying away from MWO now for security reasons. Lots of us are self employed & rely heavily on our computers to keep our businesses going, I know I do! The concerns of someone hacking into our systems are a part of our reality these days. We have to do what we have to do. I plan to stay in touch with Kaslo of the North by email

I heard the groundhog did not see his shadow SO we can now expect the arrival of an early Spring. Yeah, sure :H :H

[Rusty]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

Good Saturday Morning AF Friendly and Fabulous Ones,

:welcome:Persephone and :goodjob: on eight AF days!!! We are happy to have you here.

I live in Wisconsin and I have not been outside yet as I have been busy sending a voice-message ecard to my childhood friend, Nancy, as today is her 52nd birthday. She is one person I have wanted to reconnect with and make amends with this year. Luckily she never saw me in my worst drinking days....in fact...she has never seen me drink, so this will be starting a new friendship. I have always felt badly that her second child died when he was 3 (he would have been 20 years old now, I think) and I never sent a sympathy card. It was a really good week, though. I had two more consulting/training clients literally drop in my lap on Thursday, and from now until July, I will have to turn down any more work. As devastated as I was about not passing that test last May, I know why it was the best thing that could have happened to me. If I had passed it, and stayed in the vicious automotive world, I would have gone right back to drinking. Phew....that was close.

Pap-thanks for checking in. Have fun at the demo today. I am at home until Monday and then I leave for a short trip to London, ONT CA.

Lav-I was shocked that your son and DIL did not cancel their plans and stay home with two sick boys. I am keeping my mouth shut, though (you have no idea how hard it is for me). BTW, I have no interest in the Super Bowl either. As Pap said, I think I will get a big fire going and put my feet up and read.

LBH-I cracked up when you spoke of smelling of cats and barnacles. Eww....I can just imagine....good thing you're beautiful on the inside and out and you didn't want to pass up any social/cultural events because of smelling, um, like an aquarium that had been visited by a hungry cat. Ok, so I don't have 4 tiers of shelves in my back...I have 3. I think the reason the woman from the store wanted me to model the clothes is that a fair number of women at Curves are plus-sized, and she is a size 4. Makes sense though.

Star-yes, the man who duped Manti really has serious problems. I am sure Dr. Phil will not help him ...that conniving and troubled young man will only get rich from a book deal. Star, do you think Brian Kelly will ditch ND for a pro team? There have been rumors to that effect.

Dill-thank you again for the quote. I neglected to mention that when I slipped last May that I looked at some of your old quotes and posts....and they had a very soothing effect on me when I felt so broken and lost. Thanks! :hYes, that quote was particularly pertinent to me last year, because I severed what I thought was a wonderful friendship, but it turned out this person was a malicious gossip and someone who loves to stir the pot by causing conflicts between friends and family when there is none. She made a point of always discussing people in the most scandalous way. Weak-minded is the perfect term for her. During the last conversation of our relationship I simply told her I didn't have time for her.

Chill-Birkram yoga? There's a class at my gym. Hmm....maybe I will try it. I hope you have fun.

Sooty-I hope the blow-up mattresses did not deflate whilst your daughter's friends were still sleeping. Are you still sweeping cobwebs?

TDN-I will email you that article about the Interlock device in Wisconsin. Sorry I didn't do it yesterday....I ran out of time.

Treetops-Since it's Sunday already...I hope you had a fun Saturday.

Big hellos to Blondie (welcome!), Rustop, Cyn, Hippy, Mick, Mr. G, Catbuddy, and any friendly newcomers and lurkers, have a fabulous AF Saturday!

[Lavande]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

Hey Rusty, how's things?

It's still below freezing & snowing now, oh well.
Tried to treat myself to a shirt granny nap but Matilda had other plans

YB actually showed up for dinner bring food :H
It was just Chinese takeout but I didn't have to cook, so that was appreciated. My tiredness must be showing lately :H

I going out in the morning to gather supplies for a meatball dinner for the grandkids. They need something to make them smile - they have been grumpy all day

Wishing everyone a cozy night!
Lav

[ThreeDogNight]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

Good evening, February Friends!

Have been reading all of yeterday's and today's posts, and glad to see everybody checking in.

Welcome, Persephone! This really is a good place. Lots of support and lots of long term sobriety.

Rusty, so happy to hear about all of the work you have lined up! That has to be a huge relief! No worries there. Nice to be home for the weekend before the job in Canada. I look forward to reading the Intoxalock article. I have had less trouble with it, but have gotten the odd message a few times, interspersed with the one that says that I am not blowing hard enough!

Today I worked at the flower shop, and had to deliver several big arrangements for a funeral for a young man (25) who committed suicide last week. very sad thing. he had gotten into a car accident, drove off, called the police and told them where he was and that he as going to kill himself. When they arrived, he had shot himself in the head. He and his girlfriend were house stiing and he was driving the guy's truck when he had the accident. Not sure what that had to do with everything, but the newspaper said he was known to the police. At the center where they were having the service, there was a stage set up with all kinds of his things. he loved the outdoors and they had his boots, his sandals, a big saw, other things he used outside, and a photo of hs dog and his leash. And they were setting things up and had photos flashing and music playing, and I had to really concentrate on not crying. So tragic. He had had a girlfriend for 8 years--high school sweethearts--and I cannot imagine the state she must be in.

I did drive the company van to dod the deliveries, and it was nice not to have to worry about the Intoxalock going off every ten minutes or so.

Went to the gym just to use the treadmill, and there were only a few people there-until a group of men came in and all got on the other treadmills and started running and shaking everything:H I did 35 minutes and had had enough. Seemed like some kind of reunion, andll the cars had license plates from out of state. SO much for a quiet workout!

Cold and very gray here and feeling kind of blah tonight. We used to socialize a lot more, and I miss that.

Lav, I, too hope that your kids appreciate everything you do for them. Glad YB brought dinner for you.

Pap3, hope the demo went well for you today. Was reading the new Pet Age magazine tonight, and was wondering if you've met "Dave" from the Dave's chain you do demos at? He is definitley a character!!

Picked up a book I saw recommended on another thread--The Good House by Ann Leary--and think I'll start reading it, although I have two others I'm reading

Okay, will check in tomorrow. Have a good night everybody.

[cyntree]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

Hello to all - thanks Rusty for asking after me, I'm hanging in there. This will be a short note, as I've just fallen asleep twice reading the end of last week and the beginning of this month...February is already here...unbelievable.

Fatigue seems to be always nipping at my heels so I'm not posting as often as I normally would, but I'm thinking of everyone each day. I've had some CRAZY dreams lately (LBH your vita-mix was featured in one), will try to remember them...OK time to go, just fell asleep againnnnnnnnnnnn. Bon reve rose, wishing all a happy AF morning tomorrow.

[Chillgirl]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

Good Morning Fabbers

I have just been listening to this great interview on addiction with the spiritual teacher Gangaji which some of you may relate to, it speaks of how at 1st alcohol can make you feel whole and how that traps you into the addiction in the 1st place.

A Conversation with Gangaji:Freedom from Addiction 01/27 by VividLife Radio | Blog Talk Radio

Cyn - Lovely to hear form you! I have had some very vivid and not too pleasant dreams lately but read this is our subconscious dealing with matters we havent consciously dealt with so im not going to complain

TDN - What a very sad and tragic story of the young man's suicide, the complexities of our lives are scary, when I hear of the things like his walking boots, his dog lead and childhood sweetheart you realize that even in all the turmoil there was much good in his life. How sad.

Lav - YB does have a very sweet side too :h

Rusty - I love your passion to make amends, you are such an amazing compassionate girl and I hope you hear back from your friend. Its wonderful to hear how your change in career direction has actually been your saviour, it makes you wonder if we indeed have guardian angels out there guiding us along.

Star - I find most things on google and this is a yoga studio in the next town (about 12 miles away) Thanks for asking about how i will find transitioning back into work. Like you and im sure most of us, part time would be perfection! Im a very disciplined person and always structure my day so that part wont to be too difficult, switching back on my business brain might be a little harder but i do relish a new challenge and getting the chance to meet more people.

Papmom - I see your life is as quiet as ever :H
You know me well Sister! And got it completely right about the Bikram Yoga - I LOVED IT!!
It was absolutely wonderful and I cant wait to do it again.

Well I have an interview next Wednesday for the insurance job, I think its a bit above me but the experience will be good for me.

Wishing you all a very peaceful Sunday.

[Lavande]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

Good morning friends!

Frozen & covered with snow this morning, but not too much

TDN, dealing with funerals for young people is such a hard thing. We really do need to learn to observe from a distance & not take too much to heart - so much sadness out there

cyn, what's going on with the fatigue? Have you had bloodwork done lately? Sounds like it's time to get checked out. I hope you feel better very soon, please take care of yourself.

Chill, good luck on your interview! Learning new stuff helps keeps us young & vital
I fear ever turning into a stagnant old fart :H

OK, I need to go gather some supplies as I will be feeding kids later tonight. I hope their reported grumpiness has decreased :H
Have a great AF Sunday everyone!
Lav

[Stargazerlily]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

Good morning to all...

Rusty, it is amazing the way your client base has grown...why did you say you would have gone back to alcohol if you had passed the test? I believe Brian Kelly committed to ND, and said he would not break his contract. The media overreacts sometimes! I never thought about the guy who catfished Teo writing a book...what a jerk...and more humiliation for all involved.

Pap, I forgot you talked about that movie. I want to get a better juicer today and juice for a week to see how I feel. If it works, I will do it longer and let you know. The two men who made the movie changed their lives and their health...looked amazing. I want that and there is no reason I can't have it!!! How is the new job? Let us know when you can.

Lav, I don't care about the Super Bowl either, but will act like I do to make my husband happy I do likethe half timeshow and the commericals, but could easily live without it. This weather is draining, please take care of yourself, I am going to focus on rest today. Kind of confused about sercurity and Kaslo...I thought this site is anonymous. Hope she comes back, she is a great person with lots of insights and information I found meaningful.

Cyn, nice to hear from you. Are you struggling with an illness? Hope you are OK and doing well.

Sooty, it seems that when I start cleaning the more I see needs to be cleaned!!! It drives me crazy.

TDN, what a tragedy, the young man who committed suicide. I wonder if drugs or alcohol were involved. We had a similar event and the male who killed himself was addicted to drugs. Children were left and it is just such a waste. I think that once we stop partying, our lives do slow down. Afterall, who wants to be around a group of drinkers, staying out late and all that goes with it, if you don't drink. It is an adjustment. Dinner and a movie with another couple, theater, any other ideas? Social life just changes, but it is all good. I really focus on feeling well, sleeping well, and that seems to help. Maybe some others on here could share how their social activities changed...

Chill, I worked at an insurance firm in the 80s and there were opportunities...studying for the insurance licences and passing the exam, some of the employees make big money. Insurance for cars, homes, boats, commerical buildings will always be around, so it may end up working well for you. New jobs are always an adjustment, anything new is for me. Sending you positive energy.

Snow and more snow...it is normal but just tiresome. We need moisture though, so will focus on that.

[Rusty]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

Good Sunday Morning Friends,

I am in such a good mood. I heard back from my friend almost immediately via email. She has never forgotten my birthday, either, as it is Feb. 10, so I think I may be getting a card from her.

Persephone-you might want to ask Lav about the benefits of the supplements and the MWO CD. I know you had a question about them, as I saw your post on "Tell Us Your Story".

Pap-you sound busy as ever, and thanks for checking in with us. Do you think you'll stay in contact with people (co-workers) from your old job?

Cyn-please get bloodwork done. Something's definitely wrong if you're tired all the time. To the light, just as your signature says. Please find healthy light, Cyn.:l

TDN-so sorry to hear about the young man's suicide. We see that more and more, don't we...men shooting themselves in the head when they are distraught about relationships. I think it must be very hard to work at the floral shop when it's a situation like this. Good thing you're a strong woman. Good job in getting back to exercising, and step class. I love step aerobics, but my gym doesn't offer that class.

Star-the reason I said I probably would have gone back to drinking if I had passed that test is because I have had severe anxiety all my life...and it just got worse and worse in the automotive industry. It's hard for me to elaborate on my job and yet keep my anonymity, but suffice to say, one of the companies I do contract work for does not treat its contract auditors very well at all, and it's only gotten worse in the last year. I still get all the emails that go out to the automotive auditors, and I can see that they are required to work many more hours (unpaid) and at least once a week, there is some scathing missive about how someone made a mistake, etc. I probably should have said I was more vulnerable to the drink as opposed to saying I would start drinking again. I hope Brian Kelly stays with ND, and also I hope that jerk does NOT write a book, but that seems to be the MO of people who cause a scandal. You asked about input as far as changing our activities now that we are AF, and my social life has really not changed, but I did change my routine drastically. Because of my work and travel schedule, I would always work out in the morning, but now I work out mostly in the evening. Once I put in a sweat-squirting work-out, I have no interest in eating or drinking...and I reward myself with a dip in the jacuzzi. It takes the place of the AL witching hour....and I find that I most relaxed afterward and sleep like a log.

Chill-good luck on the job interview. How cool that you have a yoga studio close to your house. Regarding part-time work, I've been a workaholic my whole life...but it has brought me wonderful financial rewards that I couldn't have gotten if I had not worked as hard. Eventually, by the time I turn 56, I would like to be working just three or four days per week....which will still end up being about 30-35 hrs. per week, but much less than I do now.

Lav-I smiled when you said Chore Boy brought you take-out Chinese. Ah, just take advantage of the nice gestures while you can. I forgot to mention yesterday that I was perusing through some old emails and I found one from your embroidery business, and I saw those pictures of the onesies with the matching caps...were those dinosaurs? I absolutely want one if my niece has a boy this spring. She has two girls and I know her HB wants a boy.

Ok, off to do some work...friendly greetings to LBH, Dill, Rustop, Persephone, Blondie, and anyone else I may have missed....have a fabulous AF Sunday.

[cyntree]

Fabulous February Friendships - week 1

Morning all! You will be glad to know that I feel relatively awake at this moment! Goodness, what a silly post last night. Thanks for everyone's concern re: fatigue. It is a little alarming, as I seem to be having a re-run of last spring...rosacea (worse than last year) and other small inflammations, and this fatigue which sometimes is just a step shy of narcolepsy (like last night). I've had bloodwork done, and everything is sterling. Even the Lyme test was negative, but of course it was negative last year too...I'm hoping that I haven't landed in a chronic lyme situation, we'll see. It could be hormone-related, I suppose...

On the good side I am getting some more writing jobs, plus I have been hoping to start on a pet writing project; but I need to stay awake to get these things done!!! (insert laughing icon...)

Lav - wonderful pics of the orchids. I hope to visit those gardens some day. Chill - so good to hear from you, best of luck with the interview, I know something good will spring up for you. Star, your steady voice in the face of every day's challenges is such a comfort. Rusty - so inspiring to hear how everything has turned out for you, and that you are thriving, not merely surviving. LBH (Mdm l'eau de Wharf) - I lived virtually through your pruning story; it's hard for me to be away from my home grounds right now, I'm itching to look at seed catalogs since this is the first year I'll have a bona fide garden. Sooty and Rustop, so good to hear how your busy lives are going. PMom, such great news, hang in there with all the changes. TDN, take care of yourself amid this sad occurence. Dill, loved that quote even more the second time. Welcome to all new folks - I add my voice to those who describe this thread as a safe haven and a place of personal responsibility all rolled into one, a place of profound gratitude.