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    #1

    Quitting while not near bottom

    Hello All,

    Last spring I went on a bender that went on for about 2 months. Finally - I was exhausted and things were falling apart so I quit cold turkey and went over 100day AF. First few were hard and this site helped, but then I just got into the swing of life and didn't think about drinking much. I frankly lost track of days. But then summer ended and I have been slowly slipping into old routines. Sneaking drinks, hiding bottles/cans and waking up hung over and pretending to be chipper.

    So this morning, I am hung over - but not near rock bottom by any stretch. Last time I quit - it was easy (or at least easier) - because I knew I could not go on living the way I was. Now - I know I want to quit - but my resolve isn;t as strong. Any advice for quitting at this stage?

    PS. It is incredibly re-assuring to know that this community is here to catch us when we fall.
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    #2
    Quitting while not near bottom

    Thank you for the reply. This time: I want to quit before it gets as bad as the last time.

    I try to be honest with my drinking - but so much of my identity is wrapped up in the 'party guy' persona - that I find it hard to see myself as anything else.

    Other than friction with the wife and the occasional foot in the mouth. No major repercussions on the surface. But I feel horrible all the time and not happy at all. And I am a happy=go-lucky person by nature.

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      #3
      Quitting while not near bottom

      Hiya Ambrose,

      Welcome back... I think you raise a really good question about this thing we call "rock bottom" ... what is it? Molls - as ever - makes a shrewd point about her own rock bottom being less than a bottle of wine, but that emotionally she was done in (Molls re-write if i say it not as it was!). I too have often thought about what the rock bottom is... and whether I ever reached it.

      Never split from my wife (it would help if I were married in the first place though)... so, never split from a girl because of AL.

      Never lost my job. Never even took a day off work cos of AL.

      Never had a DUI.

      Never felt I was "killing myself" even though what I was doing was dangerous and WOULD subsequently take its toll...

      But I did have a bottom of sorts. And I think we all have to look a little inwards, especially if our rock bottom is not the "lose family/job/livliehood" one, and think. Think and wonder whether, actually, maybe you've already hit YOUR rock bottom. Why are you here? What made you search for help with AL, or with trying to get to grips with the way you use AL? For many that is their rock bottom.

      I am loathe to say if I had one defining moment that was a light bulb... but the night of 1st Dec 2012, drunk and PM'ing folks here was defining for the simple fact that I literally cried into this computer for help. Cried because I didn't like the grip AL had on me. Didn't like that I used it to both balm myself from reality. Didn't like that deep down I could see a future which was me giving into the AL and that is what I would be - a drunk. I was already a hidden drunk.... It could only get worse unless I dealt with it.

      Was this my rock bottom? Like I say, sure I could have become a worse drunk. But I didn't want to. Don't want to. With a hell of a lot of help from peeps round these boards, I started a journey down a different path... I'm only 69 days down that path. Day 1 is still nearer than Day 70. But I don;t want to leave it ...

      The longer I am on it, the stronger my belief 'I don't drink'. That I am a non drinker. That this is who I am. That this is, actually, pretty fucking cool.

      I wouldn't be here if i had not done years of soul searching, of thinking "this is a problem, I have a problem, I need to break this problem..." eventually I got to grips with it. It is still a problem, I still do have one. But bejeezus am I trying to break it.

      And breaking it I am.

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        #4
        Quitting while not near bottom

        A71:

        I usually don't go around the MWO site as much as I did when I first joined, but your post caught my eye. I too didn't lose everything because of drinking. I think that kept me in denial about my drinking for far too long. However, one horrendous drinking experience in 2009 landed me in the hospital & woke me up. The hiding, lying, betrayal, etc. also made me realize that I could no longer fool myself into thinking I was a normal drinker. I joined AA in 2009 & stayed sober for 3 years. Last summer, however, I relapsed & all the old behaviors returned (i.e. lying, hiding, etc.). I mustered up the courage to confess my relapse to my sponsor & husband & my home AA group. It wasn't easy, but I had to do it.

        The "I'm-not-so-bad" thinking was my undoing. I cannot ever consider myself a normal drinker. I must remember:
        -normal drinkers don''t black out.
        -normal drinkers don't hide their drinking.
        -normal drinkers don't drink the quantities I drank.
        -etc.

        I cannot drink. I can only spiral down if I take one drink. Keep coming to this site. Remember the "bad" drinking experiences you've had. Don't romanticize drinking...there's nothing romantic about it. I was in MWO 2 years before I joined AA. I found it very helpful, but I need face-to-face support in order to stay sober. AA is not for everyone, but it works for me.

        Good luck.

        Mary
        Wisdom, Courage, Strength
        October 3, 2012

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          #5
          Quitting while not near bottom

          i think everybodys rock bottom is different,when youre constantly feeling shitty from drinking,thats pretty much a rock bottom,it was mine anyways
          I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

          I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
          Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

          Comment

            #6
            Quitting while not near bottom

            thanks for all the replies. I have been reading the site and doing a bit of a self audit. Going to give quitting another shot. Woke up feeling great this morning. 2 days down and I signed up for a half marathon. Should keep me motivated. Cya around.

            Comment

              #7
              Quitting while not near bottom

              Ambrose71;1459159 wrote:
              So this morning, I am hung over - but not near rock bottom by any stretch. Last time I quit - it was easy (or at least easier) - because I knew I could not go on living the way I was. Now - I know I want to quit - but my resolve isn;t as strong. Any advice for quitting at this stage?
              Hello Ambrose
              I wasn't at my bottom either when I quit, but I had an eery feeling that somehow my luck was running out. I thought about the consequences of my drinking & realized if they came to reality, I could not live with myself. When I quit, this was my mantra, and still is:


              Better to Quit on a Positive Note, Than a Negative Situation.
              AF 6 years
              NF 7 years

              A journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step

              Comment

                #8
                Quitting while not near bottom

                Getting a complete blood workout did it for me - along with some personal stuff. But seeing what the liver tests were saying and where I was heading....and what that would mean for my loved ones.
                Mortality is pretty rock bottom. So is loosing respect by ones-self and by others...

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                  #9
                  Quitting while not near bottom

                  FallenAngel - - gonna steal that mantra! Like

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