af day Thursday 21 Feb

[porqoui]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

kuya;1466837 wrote: All the ingredients for a rabbit stew......yum :H:H:H

:H :H :H

Only you would come up with that KY....

[porqoui]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

I'm still laughing.....

[TheSunFlower]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

Probably not the right place to post. But, this is the only place on the board that I am comfortable with. Due to recent posts.....I have been doing a lot of research on how alcohol effects the brain chemicals. All of it made sense....but, due to the way I drank (nonsense)....I just wasn't sure. Was this true?

So I did a little experiment. I decided to stop at a bar for a drink. Once I decided that....I could feel the dopamine kicking in before I even got there. Ordered the beer and 1/2 way through it...I felt the mega dopamine (and all the other chemicals) shooting full blast. I did not finish the beer....and the bartender was confused as to why I did not want my next free one (happy hour 2 for 1).

I honestly have no idea how a drink effects other people.....but being conscious of what was happening to me was a real eye opener for me. Why I can't have even one.

I came home and drank hot tea. I was a bit uncomfortable as I could feel the rush of chemicals leave my system....and begging for more.

I don't suggest this experiment to anyone. I personally did not care for this effect. I can't control much of what goes on in my life....and then having 1/2 a drink and not being able to control the chemicals shooting out of my brain.....made me realize that I can control that. Don't drink.

I realized what kept me hooked for so long. It made me sick to my stomach. The brain is so powerful....it will drive you to rationalize having a drink....even though you know it is bad for you.

Now I feel like I am fighting a brain disease. It wants it chemicals. That is easier for me choke down than I am a 'loser" and "weak willed".

I am certainly sure that my drinking caused the pathways in the brain to react the way they did.

I am glad that I did it....I needed it. I needed to understand why I am so different from others....and that I am different.

That was cemented in the next day by a co-worker. He hates that his wife can smoke one cigarette a month....but, he knows if he has even one....he'll be hooked again.

I saw how easy my brain would start to control me again....I am just done. I am done reading about AL....I am done researching....its all wasted time....just knowing now why I can't drink....puts me at ease.

[porqoui]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

I am glad you have found your "at ease" SF...:h

I agree this experiment is not for everyone and I'm glad it was a positive outcome for you.

Whatever works and it sounds like you've found your answer for you.

May have to disagree with the "wasted time" as I feel researching/learning is a part of growing and I have to grow every day to maintain my sobriety, but I hear you.

And what do you mean "comfortable with"...this is home and we'll always be here for you...PPQP

[TheSunFlower]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

PP....'Comfortable Here"....meant I feel like this is the place that I know people. I do travel around the board at times.....but, this is the place I need to be.

What I meant on "wasted time".....is that I knew along time ago that I could not and should not drink. Except....I kept researching....going down paths....not understanding. When it really was simple. If you have enough of a drink problem....that you start to research.....you probably should just stop. However, my brain worked around that. Something simple....I turn into a whole 10 years of wasted time Gosh how much time it consumed!

I can read all I want....I can learn all I want....but at the end of the day...stopping...staying stopped and not playing around.....cement in the ground is better for me. I guess my last experiment gave me that....however.....I have known for over 10 years that I needed to stop and just wish I would have stuck with that 10 years ago. I really did not need all the evidence of 10 years of hell.....to tell me otherwise

[porqoui]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

So...kinda like :bang

(Scary place out there on the boards :H glad you feel safe here.)

I am truly happy for you SF....PPQP

[treetops]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

Dear SF,
I am really really glad that you have hit this realisation that you can't drink.
But I suggest you don't beat yourself up on wasting 10 years - many of us could say we wasted much longer than that - we knew decades ago we could not drink, we did the research, we tried to stop through various means...Its really hard to do and carry through - but let go of that 10 years.
Years ago I purchased a mini library of anti AL and anti addiction books, thought I had quit - and gave the books away but last year had to re-buy some of the original ones plus a whole lot more!
Theories and research on addiction change but it all helps to form part of the bigger picture - and we take what relates to us. And it looks like you have found that so work with it.
Hugs.

[TheSunFlower]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

Thanks for the replies PP and TT.

I have a serious adddiction to "hot tea"....since then. And yes, banging my head against a brick wall.....did I really think all the research would have proven different? I found it all to be true. No head banging going on here anymore.

The 10 years could have been better spent. The past is the past.....and the future is not here yet....all I have is the present moment.

No more time spent in a bar realizing what I already knew

[Catbuddy]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

MAE, everyone!

SF, congrats on reaching your peace with AL. It is a good place to be!

PPQ, you cracked me up with the rabbit picture; I love rabbits. Then I fell off my chair laughing with Kuya's comment. I love the irreverant comments here! Yeah. We are always among friends.

PPQ, I finally got into chat! The trick was to use google chrome instead of IE. I don't know why, but it's fixed. Thank you for offering to help. IT knowledge is the key to the kingdom, I think. I don't have it.

Two days of vicodin and slower work pace, and I'm functioning again. I know the solution is out there, where pain is less. Still going to search.

Mick, I hope your cold is better soon. We are having an awful cold/flu season in the U.S. I think all the vits I'm taking have kept me safe.

Laters, peeps. TT, I know we rarely interact as I miss the start of your day, but "Hey!"

Cat

[kuya]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

SF ..... Don't beat yourself up. I stopped briefly years ago, felt SO much better but wasted 20 years trying to intellectualise the reasons.

The good thing is that you HAVE found the magic mental switch......some never do and even if sober still want to drink.

You can now enjoy the acceptance and get on with being happy.

[kuya]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

Hi Cat, cross post ....good to see you

[kuya]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

porqoui;1466838 wrote: :H :H :H

Only you would come up with that KY....

I just think it's cool when my menu does the shopping! :H:H

[treetops]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

Hey Kuya - I am not going out to shoot a bunny - although there are lots here in the South Island! They are definitely not pets but pests!
Still have a bit of leftover curry from last night and later on I will whizz up a fish curry and salad to go with it.

[kuya]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

treetops;1466895 wrote: Hey Kuya - I am not going out to shoot a bunny - although there are lots here in the South Island! They are definitely not pets but pests!
Still have a bit of leftover curry from last night and later on I will whizz up a fish curry and salad to go with it.

AGAIN with the curry TT, stop it I am trying to lose weight ! :H

[porqoui]

af day Thursday 21 Feb

Catbuddy;1466887 wrote: Two days of vicodin and slower work pace
Is there a Dr. House in the house...:H Sorry couldn't resist.

kuya;1466892 wrote: I just think it's cool when my menu does the shopping! :H:H

Could you send me that APP please....PPQP

xpost: :hallo: TT