MAE all how are you? TT take it you are having a lie in today ok ..no probs..just had a quick jot about the boards to see what was happening ..still full o the cold ..for the female readers read serious man flu!! couldnt really sleep so got up ..now who do you know that repots tomato plant at 0630 am???TT been to Agra New Delhi, Rhambamphore, Gurguaon..one place we both want to go to next time is Kerala
Tea n coffee and hot lemon on the go!!
Morning Patrice, how are you today?Dont think the big drama over here is about eating the horsemeat..I think it is because people are paying for something that it isnt, plus all the scares about different horsey injections
(cue Kuya)
oh hello here she is..bloody hell woman..what were you doing yesterday ? more posts than the Royal Mail!!!:H how are you? Some interesting convos floating around at the minute..oh yes and I ll give you rabbit bloody stew...leave them alone!!!!
[/URL]
Please dont put us in yer stew missus
Yep tonight is curry night too..we make our own.Ky have you tried prawn curry ? seriously its really low in cals and tastes sound..just use proper spices tho ..none of the crap pastes and sauces ..they all add up..
Mornin blondie and how are you? in response to your reply yesterday.. your post Kuya - at least you've got muscles. Mine have gravitated down with everything else.
Stand on yer head.. guaranteed to put the lumps and bumps back where they should be
Morning Lav ..aka Lady Longwood
and how are you today? well did you get the orchid?I went out and bought a load of new plants yesterday..also made up some more hanging baskets.. including a couple of mad ones ..anyway I digress..one coffee ma'am.
tht bird control page was pretty interesting..have you sealed the coop up now?
PPQP..well what can I say? that pic takes the biscuit ..its brill.how are you toiday Mrs Positive? long may it continue..any plans for the weekend?
Teezah ..you ok? ta for the chocolate..still full of the cold but more headachey than anything else.you anything planned for the weekend?
Morning SF..how are you? glad you feel comfortable here..certainly glad that you have realised that al isnt for you ..its a biggy ,but once you realise that it isnt for you then you can make plans to deal with it accordingly..oh yes and today is yesterdays tomorrow..let the past go it cant be undone..pretty sure that we all have "I wishes" but its all part of lifes rich tapestry..as some nutcase once said!!:H so let it go move on..nice to "see " you
Mornin Cat .(Bunnybuddy). how are you today?yep had loadsa vits but still managed to catch this lurgy but hey ho.Yep I love rabbits too ..despite our resident culinary vet !!
I have eaten rabbit in the past and actually dont like it..too stringy for me.
Anyway how are you feeling? any better ? hope so..have a nice weekend :l
Well Det..yes my man you have done brill..dont let it go its mission possible ..not im
Right fabulous, fantastically friendly Friday folk its time to go ,so have a superb sober Saturday/Sunday
The Right And Wrong Way to Ask A Man:
How you ask a man to do something makes all the difference. Women think that a subtle nuance or slight turn of phrase will have no effect whatsoever on the resolve of their mucho-macho muscular moron. It does! Which is why you should always use ?would you? and ?will you? instead of ?could you? and ?can you?.
For example:
Do say: would you please take out the garbage?
Do not say: could you get off your big butt and do something around here? What am I, the maid?br />Do say: would you like to go out to a nice dinner Saturday night?
Do not say: could you please take me to any restaurant that doesn?t have the words ?burger?, ?king? or ?happy meal? in their advertising??
Do say: would you mind watching the kids while I take a night off with my girlfriends?
Do not say: could you, just for one night, watch the kids you helped spawn-that I never get a break from-ever! I haven?t seen my friends in so long we wear name tags to identify ourselves.
Do say: would you take me to a movie this week?
Do not say: could you prove to me you?re not Velcroed to the couch and actually have the motor skills to take me to a motion picture? Something without Pamela Anderson in it.
Do say: would you like me to listen to you talk about your day some more?
Do not say: could you step up the filibuster, Sparky? Jeopardy is on in ten minutes.
Do say: would you consider getting a vasectomy?
Do not say: could you even imagine what it feels like taking birth control pills that make you feel like Attila the Hun one minute and Attila the Hun?s evil twin the next minute? Do it or I?ll do it FOR you!!
Do say: would you like to take a vacation?
Do not say: could you move out?
Do say: would you get out of my life?
Do not say: could you get out of my life?
Notice how different these two statements are. A man is much more likely to get out of your life if you say ?would?.
A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, ?Hey Stevie, wanna play house??
He says, ?Sure! What do you want me to do??
The girl replies, ?I want you to communicate.?
He says to her, ?That word is too big. I have no idea what it means.?
The little girl smirks and says, ?Perfect. You can be the husband.?
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man started to scream for help. A trout fisherman ran up.
The man said, ?My wife is drowning and I can?t swim. Please save her. I?ll give you a hundred dollars.?
The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, ?Okay, where?s my hundred??
The man said, ?Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law.?
The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, ?Just my luck. How much do I owe you??
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, ?Please wake me at 5:00 AM ? He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn?t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, ?It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.?
A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there.
He asks the lady ?Do you have a vagina??
She slams the door in disgust.
The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman ?Do you have a vagina??
She slams the door again.
Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice, ?Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again?.
The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the door.
The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice ?Honey, I?m going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where he is going with it?.
She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.
Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question. ?Do you have a vagina??
?Yes? she says??
The man replies ?Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife?s alone and start using yours??
Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself nude in a mirror, after a relaxing bath. Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight was depressing her. In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help.
?God, if you take away my love handles, I?ll devote my life to you,? she prayed. And at that very moment, her ears fell off.
A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, ?Hey lady, you are really ugly.? Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, ?Hey lady, you are really ugly.? Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, ?Hey lady, you are really ugly.? The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, ?That?s not good.? and promised he wouldn?t say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, ?Hey lady.? She paused and said, ?Yes?? and the bird said, ?You know.?
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: ?Jesus is watching you!?
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. ?Jesus is watching you,? the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: ?What?s your name??
?Clarence,? said the bird.
?That?s a dumb name for a parrot,? sneered the burglar. ?What idiot named you Clarence??
The parrot said, ?The same idiot who named the Rottweiller, Jesus.?
...apologies blondie!!!!
There?s 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician ?I want to go to the moon?. The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says ?I want to go to Mars?. He says she can go next week. The blonde says ?I want to go to the sun?. The flight technician says, ?Don?t you know you?ll burn up?? The blonde says ?Well then I?ll go at night.?
Annoying Things To Say To Other People
Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!
I work for the IRS.
Have you ever tried cat meat?
I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man next to me!
I puked on the last person who flew next to me.
My butt reeeally itches!
Would you look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator.
Would you hold this messy kleenex for me?
Wanna see my tonsils? I keep them in a jar.
I haven't changed my underwear in over two weeks! How about you?
The doctors say that my eighth personality is the least dangerous.
Wow, look at that little boy in the third row!
Can you believe they only gave me three years for killing my own sister?!
Hey, does your urine ever turn blue?
I get a proctological exam once a week, whether I need it or not!
This cramped fuselage reminds me of solitary.
Oh damn, my diaper's wet again!
If I go unconscious just stick your finger down my throat - that'll wake me up.
Wanna buy a gerbil?
Boy, that business at Waco was a mess - I got outa there right behind the Savior David!
Ya know, since I moved to West Hollywood my gerbil business has really taken off.
Wow, they could charge for that cavity search they gave me at the border!
I've just been treated for tapeworms.
Don Knotts is my favorite actor!
I work for the city of San Gabriel and I drive a garbage truck.
The pilot and I were in the same drug rehab clinic - he was doing much better when I left a couple days ago.
Did I tell you Charles Manson's my uncle?
I collect aluminum foil.
Ya know, these days a man can't hang out with a seven year old boy without being ridiculed by his peers!
I work in a landfill.
I remember, not too long ago, when a man could work hard clubbing baby seals all day long and then go home and have a tall, cold one with a clear conscience.
I have every album the Bee Gees ever recorded!
I work on a Japanese whaling ship.
We're planning on leaving our bodies and meeting with the mother ship next Tuesday -- wanna come?
Tea n coffee and hot lemon on the go!!
Morning Patrice, how are you today?Dont think the big drama over here is about eating the horsemeat..I think it is because people are paying for something that it isnt, plus all the scares about different horsey injections
(cue Kuya)
oh hello here she is..bloody hell woman..what were you doing yesterday ? more posts than the Royal Mail!!!:H how are you? Some interesting convos floating around at the minute..oh yes and I ll give you rabbit bloody stew...leave them alone!!!!
[/URL]Please dont put us in yer stew missus
Yep tonight is curry night too..we make our own.Ky have you tried prawn curry ? seriously its really low in cals and tastes sound..just use proper spices tho ..none of the crap pastes and sauces ..they all add up..
Mornin blondie and how are you? in response to your reply yesterday.. your post Kuya - at least you've got muscles. Mine have gravitated down with everything else.
Stand on yer head.. guaranteed to put the lumps and bumps back where they should be
Morning Lav ..aka Lady Longwood
and how are you today? well did you get the orchid?I went out and bought a load of new plants yesterday..also made up some more hanging baskets.. including a couple of mad ones ..anyway I digress..one coffee ma'am.tht bird control page was pretty interesting..have you sealed the coop up now?
PPQP..well what can I say? that pic takes the biscuit ..its brill.how are you toiday Mrs Positive? long may it continue..any plans for the weekend?
Teezah ..you ok? ta for the chocolate..still full of the cold but more headachey than anything else.you anything planned for the weekend?
Morning SF..how are you? glad you feel comfortable here..certainly glad that you have realised that al isnt for you ..its a biggy ,but once you realise that it isnt for you then you can make plans to deal with it accordingly..oh yes and today is yesterdays tomorrow..let the past go it cant be undone..pretty sure that we all have "I wishes" but its all part of lifes rich tapestry..as some nutcase once said!!:H so let it go move on..nice to "see " you
Mornin Cat .(Bunnybuddy). how are you today?yep had loadsa vits but still managed to catch this lurgy but hey ho.Yep I love rabbits too ..despite our resident culinary vet !!
I have eaten rabbit in the past and actually dont like it..too stringy for me.
Anyway how are you feeling? any better ? hope so..have a nice weekend :l
Well Det..yes my man you have done brill..dont let it go its mission possible ..not im
Right fabulous, fantastically friendly Friday folk its time to go ,so have a superb sober Saturday/Sunday
The Right And Wrong Way to Ask A Man:
How you ask a man to do something makes all the difference. Women think that a subtle nuance or slight turn of phrase will have no effect whatsoever on the resolve of their mucho-macho muscular moron. It does! Which is why you should always use ?would you? and ?will you? instead of ?could you? and ?can you?.
For example:
Do say: would you please take out the garbage?
Do not say: could you get off your big butt and do something around here? What am I, the maid?br />Do say: would you like to go out to a nice dinner Saturday night?
Do not say: could you please take me to any restaurant that doesn?t have the words ?burger?, ?king? or ?happy meal? in their advertising??
Do say: would you mind watching the kids while I take a night off with my girlfriends?
Do not say: could you, just for one night, watch the kids you helped spawn-that I never get a break from-ever! I haven?t seen my friends in so long we wear name tags to identify ourselves.
Do say: would you take me to a movie this week?
Do not say: could you prove to me you?re not Velcroed to the couch and actually have the motor skills to take me to a motion picture? Something without Pamela Anderson in it.
Do say: would you like me to listen to you talk about your day some more?
Do not say: could you step up the filibuster, Sparky? Jeopardy is on in ten minutes.
Do say: would you consider getting a vasectomy?
Do not say: could you even imagine what it feels like taking birth control pills that make you feel like Attila the Hun one minute and Attila the Hun?s evil twin the next minute? Do it or I?ll do it FOR you!!
Do say: would you like to take a vacation?
Do not say: could you move out?
Do say: would you get out of my life?
Do not say: could you get out of my life?
Notice how different these two statements are. A man is much more likely to get out of your life if you say ?would?.
A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, ?Hey Stevie, wanna play house??
He says, ?Sure! What do you want me to do??
The girl replies, ?I want you to communicate.?
He says to her, ?That word is too big. I have no idea what it means.?
The little girl smirks and says, ?Perfect. You can be the husband.?
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man started to scream for help. A trout fisherman ran up.
The man said, ?My wife is drowning and I can?t swim. Please save her. I?ll give you a hundred dollars.?
The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, ?Okay, where?s my hundred??
The man said, ?Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law.?
The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, ?Just my luck. How much do I owe you??
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, ?Please wake me at 5:00 AM ? He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn?t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, ?It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.?
A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there.
He asks the lady ?Do you have a vagina??
She slams the door in disgust.
The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman ?Do you have a vagina??
She slams the door again.
Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice, ?Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again?.
The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the door.
The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice ?Honey, I?m going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where he is going with it?.
She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.
Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question. ?Do you have a vagina??
?Yes? she says??
The man replies ?Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife?s alone and start using yours??
Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself nude in a mirror, after a relaxing bath. Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight was depressing her. In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help.
?God, if you take away my love handles, I?ll devote my life to you,? she prayed. And at that very moment, her ears fell off.
A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, ?Hey lady, you are really ugly.? Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, ?Hey lady, you are really ugly.? Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, ?Hey lady, you are really ugly.? The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, ?That?s not good.? and promised he wouldn?t say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, ?Hey lady.? She paused and said, ?Yes?? and the bird said, ?You know.?
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: ?Jesus is watching you!?
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. ?Jesus is watching you,? the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: ?What?s your name??
?Clarence,? said the bird.
?That?s a dumb name for a parrot,? sneered the burglar. ?What idiot named you Clarence??
The parrot said, ?The same idiot who named the Rottweiller, Jesus.?
...apologies blondie!!!!
There?s 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician ?I want to go to the moon?. The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says ?I want to go to Mars?. He says she can go next week. The blonde says ?I want to go to the sun?. The flight technician says, ?Don?t you know you?ll burn up?? The blonde says ?Well then I?ll go at night.?
Annoying Things To Say To Other People
Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!
I work for the IRS.
Have you ever tried cat meat?
I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man next to me!
I puked on the last person who flew next to me.
My butt reeeally itches!
Would you look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator.
Would you hold this messy kleenex for me?
Wanna see my tonsils? I keep them in a jar.
I haven't changed my underwear in over two weeks! How about you?
The doctors say that my eighth personality is the least dangerous.
Wow, look at that little boy in the third row!
Can you believe they only gave me three years for killing my own sister?!
Hey, does your urine ever turn blue?
I get a proctological exam once a week, whether I need it or not!
This cramped fuselage reminds me of solitary.
Oh damn, my diaper's wet again!
If I go unconscious just stick your finger down my throat - that'll wake me up.
Wanna buy a gerbil?
Boy, that business at Waco was a mess - I got outa there right behind the Savior David!
Ya know, since I moved to West Hollywood my gerbil business has really taken off.
Wow, they could charge for that cavity search they gave me at the border!
I've just been treated for tapeworms.
Don Knotts is my favorite actor!
I work for the city of San Gabriel and I drive a garbage truck.
The pilot and I were in the same drug rehab clinic - he was doing much better when I left a couple days ago.
Did I tell you Charles Manson's my uncle?
I collect aluminum foil.
Ya know, these days a man can't hang out with a seven year old boy without being ridiculed by his peers!
I work in a landfill.
I remember, not too long ago, when a man could work hard clubbing baby seals all day long and then go home and have a tall, cold one with a clear conscience.
I have every album the Bee Gees ever recorded!
I work on a Japanese whaling ship.
We're planning on leaving our bodies and meeting with the mother ship next Tuesday -- wanna come?
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