Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

[Lavande]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

The BD party was a complete success, no one cried or puked or anything :H
Now I can put my tired feet up & relax.

Papmom, I am sorry you are getting more snow - WTH?
Keep your thoughts positive now, don't worry about stuff that may never happen, OK?

Dill, sounds like you had the perfect day!

TDN, I am very happy to see you back!
It takes a lot of strength to drag yourself here, I know. Now that you are back can we look into possible causes for deciding to drink again? I'm not trying to be nosey (you can tell me to shut the hell up) but let me just put a few ideas on the table. My drinking was directly related to the shitty feelings I had over my not so perfect union. I absolutely, without a doubt choose to numb myself with wine rather than do what I should have done (leave). It started when YB flat out refused to take the trip to Europe with me - the one I spent 3 years planning & saving for for our 25th wedding anniversary. Somehow, in my mind I thought that if I just stuck around long enough he would come to his 'senses', I really did not want to end my marriage. Turned out he just got worse & worse, his behavior got worse, the damage to our marriage got worse, etc.
The only thing that pulled me out of the hell I created for myself was the first grandchild arriving. I wanted a healthy relationship with him so the wine had to go. If you are dealing with someone else's chronic depression in addition to your own then I can see how you might continue to choose to drink the pain away.

My main point is I believe that you need to address your anxiety/depression issues first in order to clearly think your way out, make a plan & stick to it - no matter what.
That worked for me & I had over a year AF when YB suddenly up & left. I had no idea he was planning to leave - never said a word. It never occurred to me to start drinking again as I was completetly done with that.
You deserve to live your best life & for the majority of us that means remaining AF.
My hope is that you find your reason/cause to kick AL out of your life once & for all :l
Go talk to your Doc, make a plan, OK?

[Lavande]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

My strawberry vegan gluten free cupcakes

[papmom3]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

Yumm!!

[dill]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

Good morning friends,
I can't believe that March starts this week. YAY! Now we are definitely making progress toward Spring. But, how does time keep moving so fast?

Yummy cupcakes, Lav. Makes me wish I could snatch one up!

Not much going on here, just watching the sunrise and having my coffee. Then off to get ready for work. I will leave work for an hour or so this morning to attend my friend's memorial service.

Well, at least I am watching the sunrise AF. I am grateful for that.

[Lavande]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

Good morning Dill,

Watched the sun rise myself this morning & am a grateful girl as well

Guess we need to strat thinking of March thread titles - hmmm.

have a great AF Monday everyone!
Lav

[ladybirdheart]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

Happy Monday my buddies. I am so glad you are back, TDN. We missed you. For me the decisions we make are all simply grist for the mill, we have the opportunity to learn something helpful from them. Just enjoy being AF today, let it wash over you like a soft warm wave. Dill, your country day sounds so sweet, I have only lived outside a city for a few months at time but have many fond memories of just simply walking in fields and along the water. Thank you for asking about my eyes?my vision changed and I have not worn my contact (I only use one) in nearly two years, and then on Saturday when I was in my weepy meeting I realized I couldn't see any more out of my left eye, just sort of gauzy white?it would have been really pretty if my startled heart didn't commence to pound like a jackhammer. My eye also grew painful so yesterday I went for an emergency evaluation. In this I am lucky to live in a city. Nothing critical like a big spike in pressure or a detaching artificial lens or retina thank goodness, but something did happen to my cornea and I am not sure how long in might take to resolve. I am going for a follow-up next week with my surgeon and maybe I can get another hard contact to hold it together better. Fortunately I have two eyes and my right one is peeping at you through this forum. I am so sorry for the loss of your big, big-hearted friend. Thank you Lav for sharing what you went through with your husband, while I know the essence of your story I always feel such a bond with you when you cut to the heart of it. As life goes on, we each have to figure out what to do with ourselves in circumstances we had not envisioned. Rusty and Chinatown?that is a good thing to imagine. Have good trips Pappy and Star. Catch up with everybody else in a bit. Love. Ladybird.

[Lavande]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

Oh boy LBH ~ wish I (we) could help you out :l

I just talked to my 80 year old friend this morning who also has been dealing with serious vision issues. After numerous procedures & thousands of drops she says her vision is much better than it was one year ago! I am very happy for her of course
Unfortunately she has some mobility issues going on as well - it's always something.

I will keep you in my thoughts - be well!

[papmom3]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

hi Everyone....
Dill, i'm so sorry about your big hearted friend. Somehow I missed that post and I apologize.

LBH-I sure hope your vision improves greatly very soon. You are dealing with it with your usual grace and humor!!

Lav-glad the BD party went off without a hitch. Maybe this week you can take some time for yourself? Just a teeny bit?

10" of snow here Sat through Sun. Took me an hour to snowblow 6" and then when I woke up this morning there an additional 4. I said screw it and plowed through with my car! :H More on the way tomorrow nite through Thursday and I am praying that Boston sees mostly rain so my flight isn't cancelled. Tomorrow will be super busy with last minute cleaning, packing, calling hours then quilting class and the handover of DD. Bedtime will be early early as I have to be out of the house by 6:30 to drop the dogs off at the kennel and back in time for the shuttle.
I'll check in once more tomorrow and then when I get safely to Atlanta.
:h

[Stargazerlily]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

Good morning everyone...

Big storm coming here too, Papmom, rain, ice, then snow, what a welcome back after my weekend. I had perfectly hot weather, 85 degrees each afternoon, a little pool time, and lots of visiting. It was nice. Hard to come back to this winter weather.

Lav, it is so moving to hear your journey, even though you have shared in the past. With each telling, new understanding comes through...the beauty of your life today, AF, honest, real, and solid, is a life well lived. Problems like the rest of us, but with the ability to live with health and integrity. You go girl. Your poor chickens...would YB put up the chickenwire?

Pap, enjoy your trip, just getting away is good for the soul. Taking a little time for yourself, away from the home duties, is just good for the soul. We too are getting whammed with lots of snow for the next several days, probably non stop. I laughed when you said you just drove through the extra inches of snow...here too, for the last several weeks. We are all just tired of shoveling. Have a good trip.

Dill, thanks for being so faithful to the thread when there is less participation. Lucky you to live in the country and able to enjoy your darling grandson. I wonder if you are going to get nailed with the midwest snow/ice storm? I envy you your retirement at this particular time. I would love to call off, I am so tired. Maybe a cup of coffee will help. I tried to do without caffiene this morning but no go.

LBH, I know you are taking the best care of your eyes, how scary. Glad to live in this time when we have access to medical care that really makes a difference.

Rusty, how fun, shopping and bumming in Chicago with a good friend, a good way to get through the February blues. Have a great time. It is interesting how much more fun any social activity is AF. In Florida, I had so much fun when we met with other family visiting for the winter, and alcohol was just not part of the equation.

TDN, having been back and forth numerous times myself, I find that beating myself up is a waste of my precious energy...I admire your coming back and being honest, it is not easy. I liked Pap's talk about cigarettes and alcohol being toxic, cause they are. Careful planning, no booze in the house, knowing the weak times of the day or week, have made a huge difference for me. The insanity of just wanting to drink is especially likely to happen when hungry, lonely, angry or tired. We are here foryou and really happy you are back.

To all, have a great day.

[Lavande]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

Good morning friends

Absolutely not a drop of sunshine here but I'm not really complaining. Rain on the way later & I don't have to shovel it, thank goodness.

LBH, hope you are OK this morning!

Papmom, I know you have a super busy day today. Travel safely & let us know how it goes

TDN, how's itgoing for you this morning? Glad you are back with us :l

Star, nice to hear about your trip to sunny Florida! Sounds like a positive experience all around for you & that's great!

Greetings to everyone else & sending wishes for a fabulous AF Tuesday!
Lav

[ThreeDogNight]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

Good morning, all.

Thank you for all of the positive posts, which I truly appreciate. Lav, I thank you for being so open and honest about your relationship with YB. I know what I need to work on, and am concentrating on that, one day at a time.

I will write more later, as I am heading out for the day to call on some schools. We got 14inches of snow over the weekend--beating PapMom:H--and could get a foot tomorrow into Thursday. At least it is above freezing, and that helps. Saw the sun for the a.m. hours yesterday, but very grey today.

:lTDN

[papmom3]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

Morning! You are definitely going to beat me again TDN! You guys are going to get slammed! I have no idea what my area is in for but tomorrow morning doesn't look pretty so I have decided to take the boyz to their posh digs tonite instead of early tomorrow morning. $56 is worth the peace of mind and not having to sweat through icy conditions tomorrow, possibly throwing me well behind schedule. It will be a lonely nite tonite but my other kitty will be beside herself with no dogs in the house!!
Keep on truckin' TDN-ODAT is the way to go but don't forget:
Dream Big, Pray Bold. It works!!

[Lavande]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

It's so windy here right now it almost sounds like thunder

Sorry about the snow situation up there TDN & papmom!
Drizzling rain here since about 3 pm. It's supposed to get quite heavy overnight.

I hope everything settles down for you tonight papmom - enjoy a peaceful night!

[Rusty]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

Good Evening Dear February Friends,

My getaway in Chicago wore me out!!!:H I am exhausted. Good thing I have lots of work because we shopped and shopped and shopped-Neiman's, Nordstrom, Macy's, Bloomingdale's Home. I got a couple of really pretty blouses at 50% off. Bloomies is so cool because it was once the home of the Medinah Temple, which is where the circus was held. Each floor of the store has stained-glass windows. We ate healthy food in lovely restaurants close to the hotel and talked for hours....never running out of things to say. My friend, Samantha, said we will make a trip to Chicago an annual event to celebrate our birthdays. Next year, she wants to go to the Art Institute.Back at work today with one of my new consulting clients....within driving distance of home but staying in a comfy hotel.

TDN-great to see you here.:l I admire your courage in sharing your journey with us, even when you get derailed.:l We have a very special group of people here.

LBH-How scary that you suddenly lost all vision in your left eye!:upset: I would totally freak out and I so hope your surgeon can get you a new lens.

Lav-the cupcakes looked delicious. I can understand why you stayed with YB. Divorcing him probably would have devastated you financially. There was an article in the paper today about how the divorce rate of people aged 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010, and how it is doubly expensive to be single, since you have no one to share expenses, your retirement is cut in half, etc. You did the right thing, as tough as it was and as tough as it still is now.

Star-I'm glad you had a nice time in FL....with great weather and a happy AF heart.

Dill-so sorry about the passing of your big-hearted friend. I smile when you told us his story. Thank you again for your ever pertinent quote....and staying with us when several of our regulars are MIA.

Speaking of MIA....CHILL....don't you like us anymore???
I know you're on FB but I wish you would post here.

Papmom-safe journey to Atlanta.

Rustop, Cyn, Sooty.....you hoo!!! We miss you.

Well, off for a soak in the hot tub then off to bed. I can't believe tomorrow is Hump Day already. I hope everyone is having a peaceful AF night.

[Lavande]

Fabulous Februray Friendships ~ Week 4

Bloomindales huh Rusty?
I'm sure I haven't set foot in a Bloomindale's in more than three decades :H :H
Once you have kids all your Bloomindale's dreams go right out the window :H
Glad you enjoyed your trip & time with your friend!

I am all about saving what's left of the rest of my life & I won't spend it in the poor house. I worked too damn hard & put up with too much BS to be kicked to the curb at this age - oh no, that's not happening!

Still sitting here listening to wind & rain. Maybe it will put me to sleep