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**treetops** · February 27, 2013, 04:37 AM

af day Wed 27 Feb

Morning Mick - well its evening here. I am going to cut to the chase - too tired for any jokes from me at this time of the night.
I have wondered why the numbers have dropped too. I have not been on this thread as long as some of the people here - but here are some thoughts. Sorry if this sounds like a work memo - but I have been in that zone a lot lately

1. I do wonder about the PMs (personal messaging). Yes, I can see that its very helpful and I was able to give some help to someone via a PM - that was not appropriate for a public forum. However I do think that misgivings, thoughts or positive support people have about this forum are best shared to all. Thats why I am sticking my neck out. With all due respect - if folk PM Mick about their thoughts about this forum ? its not an open discussion. It?s the suggestion of these little conversations behind doors that makes me uneasy.
Does anyone else feel that way?

2. Mick's specific question however is also why people have fallen off this forum. I have myself considered backing away - because of the misunderstandings that can arise. I also don't want to dominate discussion . I also sometimes sensed that there may be annoyance that someone 'down under' is confusing the time zones.

3. I have lately looked at some other threads on MWO. Some are very informative and some are silly - not haha silly - but just not for me and i suspect not for many people who are regulars in this section of MWO. As I get more AF months under my belt I will probably help out more in the Newbies nest - but I can't spend hours each day there. I have a lot of people who I have to support face-to-face through my work - and that is very draining at times.

4. Maybe we seem boring?? I don't think we are - but on a daily basis we may look mundane. On the whole - this forum is not the part of MWO - that deals with the immediate drama and pain of giving up booze - although there have been some posts where I hope recently as a support group we have helped.

5. Its been very helpful for me to have you guys and I have learned much. I personally like the daily checking in - when possible that is. I quite like it when we have a point of discussion that consumes us for a day or so - but I think that needs to develop in a non forced way.

OK nite nite - these are some thoughts to maybe get a public conversation going.

**porqoui** · February 27, 2013, 07:48 AM

af day Wed 27 Feb

MAE ALL....

Mick...nope, never even heard of Emmerdale Farm. :H My Mom used to say it, wonder if she used to watch it? Yup the lawyer charges for every email she reads and replies to.

Was just thinking of my long drive out to where I used to live yesterday. Had to go and cash in an RRSP so I can afford the court (if we ever get there) costs....which brings me to your Thread Questions....is this an appropriate post?

With all the "spats" (for lack of a better word) that have happened here and on other threads, I find myself second guessing my posts. My Alkie thinking has always been "As long as I make sure everyone around me is happy then I'm a good person." So when there is "unrest" it throws me and puts me in a dangerous place. I'm still smarting over a comment KY made but am looking at it as a chance for personal growth.

I also believe we all go through phases. Sometimes that thing called "life" just gets in the way. :H I know that MWO and this thread in particular, has got me to where I am today. So I will keep coming back, taking the stuff I need and leaving the rest behind.

TT...I have confessed and apologized on a previous post, that I was one of those annoyed with the early thread starts. When I took a look at why this was bothering me (as opposed to just having a drink over it) I came to the conclusion it was because of change. Change is another big trigger for me. So without even knowing it you helped me grow, and growing everyday is important to my sobriety. And dealing with it maturely brought me a new friend. :h

I have had mixed feelings about the PM's as well. When someone says PM me if you need a friend to talk to, the offer is much appreciated because sometimes I'm so into myself that I don't know if I should or not. I try not to mention any PM's I get or give on the public forum because...well they are Private. Sometimes it just comes across as "I know something you don't know". And here I am second guessing my post again. No offense to anyone intended.

I agree this thread is not the same as the Newbies Nest, dealing with immediate drama and pain. To me it's a daily accountablilty but when I'm in crisis I'm going to ask if not shout out for help knowing that everyone will be here to help support me, as has been evidenced recently.

I also agree that discussions need to develop in a non forced way. I remember saying "Maybe we should end our posts with a joke." and look what evolved. I can hardly wait to get the "business" part of my reading done so I can sit back and laugh at Mick's jokes.

Sorry this post is so long winded but I wanted to post my thoughts now as the next few days are going to be very busy for me work wise and I may be in and out solely due to that thing called life.

Have a great AF Wednesday all and all to come....

PPQP

**Lavande** · February 27, 2013, 08:16 AM

af day Wed 27 Feb

Good morning Abbers!

I don't have nearly as much to say this morning as the rest of you - my coffee hasn't totally kicked in yet :H :H

I guess I am the oldie on this thread since I have been hanging out here nearly 4 years.
There have been all sorts of personalities here & I think that makes for a very interesting thread. Why would I continue to post here otherwise?

I know I have learned much from others about all sorts of things & I wouldn't have it any other way.
People come & go, moods come & go, this just seems normal to me.

For those who asked last night: YB = Yard Boy = my displaced husband. He removed himself from the premises nearly three years ago but I insisted he return to cut the grass on this 2.5 acre lot that HE wanted so badly 10 years ago. I won't get on a tractor - no way

I am heading out to Curves, then back for a bit of work then grandsons arrive at 3 pm - yay.....
I just wish the weather would warm up & dry up outside so I could let them outside to use up some of that little boy energy!!!

Have a terrific AF Hump day one & all!
Lav

**shelbysmiles** · February 27, 2013, 09:18 AM

af day Wed 27 Feb

Good morning!

Re: This thread- I realize my posting has been very sporadic. That's because my life was so chaotic before. Drinking, quitting, drinking, quitting.... Now that I have finally reached my first goal, I am going to make a point to participate here more frequently. I feel very overwhelmed in the Newbies Nest; I've never been good in large crowds :-) That's why I love this thread! I think PMs have their place here. I did not feel comfortable posting publicly because of many failures. I have had so many day ones and was only able to string together a few days here and there. But, I was in contact with Kuya via PM. She cheered me along and gave it to me straight. I could (should) have posted on the thread, but I wanted to work on my quit this time privately.

Thanks for the comments on AB. I realize my problem is that I still do not see myself as a non drinker yet. If it were not for AB I would have drank numerous times and still be in the same cycle. But, I'm here now and I'll keep taking my pill as long as needed. Also, I still can't think about never drinking again. I sort of feel like that will be a trigger for me at some point in the future. I KNOW I can not be a normal drinker but I'm still taking it one day at a time.

Enough rambling for this early in the morning!
Hope everyone has a great day!

SS

**Mick** · February 27, 2013, 10:29 AM

af day Wed 27 Feb

Shelby...just read your post....

You need to emphasise to yourself that you are a non drinker...irrespective of what method you are using to stop drinking..that is what you are doing..not drinking...what the is up to you is whether it is on a temporary or permanent basis ,,and judging by your comments I reckon it will be the latter!
The other thing is ..dont think about it as" I wont ever be able to drink again"...sends the thought patterns into panic mode...just take it one day at a time..as time goes on you will think less and less about it

**treetops** · February 27, 2013, 12:57 PM

af day Wed 27 Feb

Hi there folks - its morning already here and I am much more perkier. Looks like we already have some meaty responses to Mick and my posts - so thats fab.
I can't dwell - as the paid job awaits and the daughter to school but
Mick -once again mate - ta for bringing this up - no, not my daughter you twit but the lack of posts. Hope I did not sound bitchy too much last night - but I hope the general discussion is open... and I agree the PM thing is really important - liked your comments too PPQP about that.
PPQP - I am not upset about your comment on my posting a day ahead (haha can't do that yet as not enough time!) and appreciate you being open. I was more wondering about others - you know, the ones who have left...but maybe its just that they have other things going on and this forum is not for them at the moment
Lav - I hope to be in your shoes one day. Sorry I did not mean with a YB - have enough with G. (my partner in crime) and our gardening disagreements - one day I will bore you all to death about TREES - and how I nearly left him because of murdering our TREES! (He also murders books by leaving them lying around with their poor wee spines open! Probably because they were once TREES!!!).
Shelby - please stay on the AB. It really shifted things for me after a lifetime of stopping and starting and very heavy drinking, last year - trying AA for a bit, group therapy, an addiction expert, supplements, and many other unmentionables. I had resisted AB for a while - worried about the side effects, if I could wear perfume etc etc (duh?? thatwas my worry?) and how AB made the difference was that there was no final debate in my head. I could not drink that day - or the next - or the next. I was a grump at first (still am but thats the real grump not the drunk grump), thought it would mean I would never write again (feared I would loose the creative buzz), was tired, couldn't slep well but it soon came to pass. And no bullshit, it was a quick transition for to know I could never drink AL again. I was very nervous at the beginning - see my earlier threads about 'relapses' but touch wood (there she goes TREES!) has not happened. Kuya, Lavande, Mick and many others were big helps there. The biggie for me was knowing if my liver functions were shifting downwards and this was a bit slow - but once I could see the numbers - it really helped - and by then my mental shift to being abstinent was grounded. Just be careful with the dosage and how long you take AB and what other medications you are on - if any - as it can mess your liver a bit. But not as much as AL. Have a doctor monitor it and do as I said watch the interaction with other meds (on the liver).
K9 Lover - has been on AB for ages and also has lots of advice. She helped me at the start too.
Have been off AB since Xmas and my resolve is stronger than ever - but will do short bursts of AB if I feel I need a kick up the bum in future - just I would use other prescribed meds with my informed consent - but always reluctantly. Its not cheating if it saves your life, gets you sober and puts you on the road to a happier and healthier life. Sneaking drinks and lying to yourself and loved ones is cheating.
HUgs to all - excuse the many typos - but written in a mad (but sober) rush!!!

**Catbuddy** · February 27, 2013, 02:08 PM

af day Wed 27 Feb

MAE, abbers.

Well, I really like this thread.

Especially once I figured out what role it would play in my life.

I'm about 5 months sober now. I've been told two years are needed to really work through the brain recovery. I also believe LT HAPPY sobriety will come with steady personal growth. This thread is part of my plan for both.

The daily accountability - we come here, post, check in, recommit, share immediate struggles, etc. So I decided a little while back to post (mostly) every day, as part of my sobriety accountability.

For longer musings, where I hope others will comment or add, I go to the 100 day thread. I don't think that works as well here - I'm at the end of the day, and conversations are already going on the next day's thread. TT, I think it's wonderful you get that going every day. After all, it's Thurdsday where you are! I think, though, that my comments may get lost, so if I've got much to say, I head to the 100 day. I think that's a reasonable way to deal with time zones. I actually really like that we have found a way to be so inclusive across the globe.

I also really like the weekly thread here. I stopped posting as I got overwhelmed a bit, wasn't sleeping enough (late night is usually when I come to MWO), so went down to two threads from three. I want to add that lovely group back soon.

Sharing some nice news - things are going very well with my beau. We had a great talk last night about dating, the distance between our home (about 45 minutes) and how to approach a relationship. He is more bothered by distance than I am, but is definitely interested in seeing where this leads. Oh, my. I am so happy. What a wonderful thing sobriety is. This relationship would never have been possible without sobriety.

Cat

**blondie** · February 27, 2013, 07:15 PM

af day Wed 27 Feb

mae abbers

liked your then and now jokes Mick. So true!! No offence taken at blonde one. In fact, I can give you a real life one. Was waiting to look at a house. A guy on a motorbike pulled in driveway. I waited in car as I thought he was viewing too. I later noticed he was wearing a suit and so assumed he was agent. Jumped out car, apologised for keeping him waiting, shook hands and introduced ourselves, talked about house, said shall we go in and he asked me how long the lease was for. I said I have no idea, aren't you the agent? nope, he thought I was. :H

Well, I think this thread just keeps going along at its own pace, changing, people come and go. Just like life really. I know I hardly came here as I was never ab long enough, and then spent ages lurking till I thought I was "qualified to join"! I think just let it meander along at its own pace. Oh and on PMs, I never could understand people saying I sent you a PM; wouldn't that be obvious/redundant if the person was on here?

Cat - so happy for you and your beau!
TT - would never have guessed your love of trees!! I get peeved when people cut down healthy trees too.
Hi Lav, SL, Shelby, Sunflower, PPQ et al.

**Determinator** · February 27, 2013, 08:23 PM

af day Wed 27 Feb

Hidy Ho ABsters!

Mick, your 'scenario' jokes would have been funnier if they weren't so painfully true. egad!

I made a similar salad today for DX and I, great minds!

lets see.... I've been tormenting this thread since '06 and indeed things go in cycles in terms of participation. I miss some of the members that used to frequent this spot. Paddy from Vietnam, Weemelonhead from NZ, Irish Lady etc. at least we still have a core of great folks and i hope some lurkers will hop in and say hi.

off to be making dinner. be well everyone

**shelbysmiles** · February 27, 2013, 09:49 PM

af day Wed 27 Feb

Cat- Your just across the bridge from me, so we can keep each other company! And Det may be in our time zone as well.

Mick-I'm definately starting to think of myself as a non drinker. I have told a few friends that I have put drinking on hold as I have been indulging a bit too much. That ddoes help me stay accountable in the real world. I do want it to be permanent, but honestly, I start to panic if I think that far ahead.

TT-I will stay on the AB. I'm not under a Dr's care though. The way my insurance is set up I would never be able to afford healthcare if this was on my medical records. I'm taking a relativvely small dose-1/2 tablet twice a week. Just enough to keep me on the stright and narrow.

Hi Blondie and Det! Hope you have a great evening!

**treetops** · February 27, 2013, 11:24 PM

af day Wed 27 Feb

Shelby - Oh dear the insurance issues! I can see why you are doing it your way. I also did the low dose and it kept me on the straight and narrow. However I read some other threads and some people do try to play Russian Roulette with AB. Don't - and I know you are not going to. My liver was compromised before the AB which is why I was being very careful - also my Dr was vigilant too. I am now going to try to start up the Thursday thread before its Friday here!

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